She learned that Club Sin had firm rules that were nonnegotiable: No fire play. No catheters or enemas. No breath play. No urination or defecation. No knives, needles, piercing, cutting, or blood.
Kyler’s assistance helped her fill out the soft-limits section first, which were things that made her nervous but that she was open to try. Basically, he said, it told a Dom to proceed with caution. That the submissive was curious, but also hesitant. After some thought, she added: erotic electrostimulation and caning. Then she had to check off which toys she agreed to; from bondage to dildos to paddles to floggers, nothing was left off the list. All of which she happily agreed to.
Last, she finished with hard limits. Those were things she would never do under any circumstances. She added: No play with other Doms, except Master Kyler. No humiliation punishments. Kyler had suggested she also add: Sensual pain only. No force past a hard thud. No punishment through spanking. No interrogation. No role playing that would involve harsh force. No yelling. And no name calling.
Journeying down the hallway, it still surprised her that he had suggested so much, but she also appreciated it. All of it sounded definitely not for her. Feeling good about her limits, she followed Presley down the basement steps and into the dungeon’s long stone hallway.
“Got any tips to keep me out of trouble tonight?” she asked.
Presley smiled softly. “Oh, I’ve got lots, but the important ones are: say sir when you answer Kyler. They get growly if you leave that off. And if you say his name, say Master Kyler. Other than that, just listen to him. He’ll let you know what the plan is and what you should do first. You’ll be surprised by how comfortable he’ll make you.”
“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me at all.” Ella’s pulse matched each step she took, thumping in her ears. “He seems pretty sweet that way.”
Presley nodded with a sweet smile. “He is.”
When Presley opened the dungeon’s door, a wave of heat washed over Ella, as the erotic sounds all but tingled across her skin. The heavy rock song beat her heart faster, and she swallowed, scanning over the active dungeon.
Maybe a little more than a bit nervous, Ella.
Though, as she matched Presley’s stride through the dimly lit sexually charged room, her gaze landed on Kyler. He leaned against a post and watched her every move. In the strength of his stare, a peace carried through her.
You’re not alone.
Presley placed a hand on Ella’s shoulder, drawing her gaze. “Enjoy tonight. You’ll be fine with Master Kyler.”
“Thanks,” Ella replied.
She turned to Kyler again, slowly closing on him. His gaze roamed over her from head to toe, and he licked his lips, stirring tingles low in her body. Her sex became damp and her body warmed. Dressed in blue jeans and a black T-shirt, he met her halfway and the side of his mouth arched. Then he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on her lips. “You look sexy as hell, Ella.”
“Thank you, sir.”
His brows rose in obvious surprise. “Did your book tell you to say that?”
“No, Presley did.”
“I’m glad she gave you some advice. She’s a good friend for you to rely on.” Erasing the distance between them, he pressed his hard body against hers and tangled his fingers into her hair. “For now, leave it off. I only expect a sir if we’re in a scene. Right now we’re not.”
She cleared her throat, as his low voice made her insides gooey. “Okay, so now what?”
“We talk.” He ushered her over to the couch in the center of the dungeon, where he sat down and motioned for her to sit on the coffee table.
She lowered down to the cool glass beneath her bottom, and he closed his legs around hers, staring at her for a long minute. Then he leaned in, running his hands up her thighs. “Before I take you into a scene tonight, we have some things to get sorted out. Last night at my parents’ house, I realized that I cannot have only a D/s relationship with you. It can’t be so casual.” He dragged his fingers over her thighs, bringing all types of heat with it. “I can’t play with you like I have others here in Club Sin.”
She sighed, not surprised he wanted to be all vocal now. That was kind of his thing. “I know things changed last night. I’m well aware what you want and what I want. And I know I’ve been keeping you at a distance, but I’m trying to stop that.”
“Good.” He inclined his head with a stony gaze. “Since the dynamics have changed some and we both know that this is not simply a D/s relationship, but that we want more, we need to talk.” He hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully.
She didn’t like the tightness in the corners of his eyes.
He finally said, “I’m afraid a certain situation has developed. One I wasn’t sure how to deal with, but to let this relationship grow, we need to be open with each other. Trust. Communication. It’s all important, Ella.” He twined his fingers with hers, and his eyes searched hers. “Having said all that, is there anything you want to tell me?”
She regarded his focused gaze, her pulse speeding up. “No.”
His brows pulled together. “You need to know that it’s not my way to avoid matters. You need to trust me. We have to have open communication. And I mean you need to be entirely honest with me when I ask you direct questions.”
“I do trust you,” she replied without hesitation.
One sleek eyebrow arched. “Do you?”
“Yes, of course.”
He stared at her for many moments before his eyes narrowed. “Then I will ask again, do you want to tell me anything about what’s been troubling you the past couple days?”
Coldness swept across her under his knowing stare.
He knows about Rory.
But how can he?
Now his insistence on adding certain things to her hard limits made sense, and her stomach roiled. Hoping—praying—she’d read him wrong, she tried another route to maintain avoidance. “It’s not important enough to talk about.” She didn’t want to withhold the truth from Kyler, but she also didn’t want to talk about her past. Why go there? It would lead nowhere good. “Or, I should say, there’s nothing going on that I can’t handle on my own. Okay?”
“That’s a better answer. It’s closer to the truth.” He paused again, watching her intently, and finally shook his head. “I didn’t want to do this, but I fear it can’t be avoided any longer. For us to be together, I need to know you, Ella. All of you.”
Unable to look away from him, her mouth dropped open. Oh, fuck, he knows about it all. The knowledge shone in the way he regarded her and in the sympathy crossing his face. She scooted back against the table, attempting to put distance between them.
He tsked and tugged her onto his lap. “When we talk, it’s always like this, face-to-face, and preferably with you in my arms.”
Then he waited.
She hung her head. “How did you find out about Rory?”
He tucked his finger under her chin, commanding her gaze. His heart lay bare in the depths of his eyes. “I found out yesterday before we went to my parents’ house. When you placed the call to Savannah, the police sent the information our way to keep an eye out for him.”
Her strength evaporated and her body slummed forward. “You know about the restraining order and that I’m married?”
“Yes, I know.”
Tears welled in her eyes and she couldn’t even look at him. “What do you think of that?”
He garnered her gaze again with his firm finger under her chin. His eyes were gentle—sweet, in fact. “I’m bothered that you never felt safe enough to tell me. But I’m only thinking of you and your safety.”
A tear slid down her cheek, and she hurried to wipe it away. “You don’t care that I never told you that I was married?”
“Of course, I’m not thrilled you kept it from me. But I simply want to understand you—not get angry for the choices you make.” His hands moved over her back in a comforting rub. “You told me you were coming out of a long relationship
when we met, so I heard part of the truth.”
The hard music blasted through the speakers of the club, but this part of the dungeon was dark. “It’s a play on words, but I never asked if you had been married, either.” His gaze stayed firmly in place on her, as if no one else existed in dungeon. “I see domestic violence daily. I know why you shy away from telling someone this at the beginning of a relationship. And I know that if you told me you were married, I would’ve asked questions about him. You didn’t owe me anything before. So, no, I don’t care that you are still married.” His brow arched. “However, you are getting a divorce, yes?”
She nodded, so surprised by him. He was calm and collected. So unlike her soon-to-be ex-husband. “If Rory would sign the uncontested divorce papers, yes. I served him with the document months ago, but he still won’t sign them and hired a lawyer who’s dragging the proceedings out. In my heart, I was divorced when he pushed me into the table.”
A muscle flexed in his jaw. “Yes, I read that. Please go on.”
She sighed and rubbed her hands over her face, and not even the sensual noises in the club could cut into her thoughts. “I don’t want to talk about him or what happened. It’s in my past, Kyler. Can’t we leave it there?”
He gently removed her hands, holding them in his. “I’m not going to force you to talk about something you don’t want to. But I hope knowing that’s what I want, you’ll eventually tell me.” He hesitated, exhaling a long breath. “The fact is, I only care that you’re no longer with him, especially if he was violent.” He brushed his fingers over her cheek, wiping away the moisture. “You don’t have to face this alone anymore. I hope you realize that I’m not going to judge you, Ella. The fault of that night lies with Rory, not you.”
“It’s…” She swallowed the lump in her throat.
“Embarrassing?” he offered.
She nodded.
He cursed quietly and then pressed her head against his chest. “Has he contacted you?”
“On Monday he came to the office, and he approached me yesterday at home.” She sniffed, not wanting to go into the details of how scared she’d been. She didn’t want to drag Kyler into all this. What they had was good, and she didn’t want that to change. She wanted to be happy, not constantly stuck in the past. “But I think Rory has gone home.”
Kyler didn’t seem surprised by her admission, and said, “I hope he has, too. You did the right thing by notifying the police.” Moving her off his chest, he dragged his fingers over her hot tears. “Please tell me if you see him again, all right? Don’t face him alone. Not only do you have police support, but you have me.”
Now knowing that he learned of Rory yesterday made a thought rise. Kyler had picked her up yesterday after work and had seemed strained. He’d also insisted on staying with her last night and driving her to work this morning. “Is that why you brought me to see your family and stayed with me last night, because you didn’t want to leave me alone?”
His eyes blazed. “I don’t want to leave you alone knowing that he’s in Vegas.”
She wasn’t sure she liked that. He’d stayed with her not because he wanted to, but because he was being the Dom who protected her.
He pinched her chin. “None of that now.”
“None of what?”
“I would’ve stayed with you regardless. Yes, his presence pushed the thought to my mind at first, but I wasn’t with you because of him. I was with you because I wanted to make sure you were safe. You can’t possibly think that I stay at every woman’s house to ensure their safety?”
She shrugged. “I guess not.”
“Besides, Ella”—his stormy gaze dropped to her eye level—“I’ve been very clear with you from the beginning on what I want. And I do believe I have said that I wanted to date you, yes? I’m not the one who has been refusing the idea of us being together.”
She stared at him, shocked by him. “Knowing all this, you still want me to be your girlfriend?”
“After hearing all this, I want it more.” Truth rang out in his voice. “This is you. Your life. Hearing all this doesn’t make me want to run, it makes me want to wrap my arms around you and not let go.”
Uncontrollable tears rushed down her cheeks, and his face became blurry. “What if I said I wanted you to never let me go?”
“I would say it’s about time we’re getting somewhere, and I’m glad you’re no longer fighting me.” He leaned away, putting some space between them. “Now a bit of the truth is finally out in the open. I feel better. Do you?”
Did she?
She wasn’t sure.
Kyler had been nothing but completely forthcoming with her and she’d hid things from him. Important things she should have told him. She felt foolish. He understood her, probably more than anyone had in her life. He didn’t judge her. He didn’t get angry. He simply cared for her unconditionally.
She cupped his face, feeling the scruff from his five-o’clock shadow. “Why are you so good to me?”
“Because you deserve it, Ella.”
Guilt and shame led her to say, “I’m sorry I kept all this from you. I should have told you.”
“I’m sorry that I learned about it in the manner I had, too. But now I know and you know that I don’t care.” He slid his fingers across her face to grasp her hair, and then he dropped a hard and passionate kiss upon her lips. Tension lay in the firmness of his mouth, but the heat was all-consuming. When he broke the kiss, he added with a devilish smile, “Now we can move on, yes?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t hide from me,” he added with a firm voice. “All of this is your history. Maybe painful history. But it’s all of what makes you you. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could possibly keep me away now.” Then he sealed his mouth over hers and briskly ended the conversation.
She kissed him back with equal fervor, amazed by him. By how compassionate, how strong, how confident he was. Some men might be threatened by Rory, but beyond all the secrets, his only focus was her.
In that truth, she lost herself.
He wrapped his strong fingers around her cheeks as his tongue explored her mouth. The passion was fever-pitched. The unconditional love meant more than his heated kisses.
Trust.
Communication.
Acceptance.
Things were deeper between them, and she let go to a man who deserved it. Who’d fought to gain her trust. A man who she wholeheartedly believed would never let her fall.
With a final brush of his lips across hers, he broke away. Holding her hair firmly in his grip, he murmured, “Now we are in a good place to play. Do you feel that also?”
“Yes.” She smiled, wiping the last tears off her face. “It does feel good it’s all out in the open now.” Real good.
His grin spoke of love and something so much more: appreciation that she gave him more of herself. “All right, sweetheart. Are you ready to play?” A darker—more demanding—look crossed his face, one she’d never seen before. All those examining looks he’d given her now became intense, almost as if he searched her soul.
This time she allowed it, welcomed him in.
“I’m ready,” she said.
He gathered her off the table and placed her on her feet, then rose off the couch. The warmth of his body pressed against her and he stared down at her with hard, yet simmering, eyes.
There was a notable difference in him. Oh, hell, was there ever.
He didn’t simply look at her, he studied her. He didn’t move without purpose, and each move seemed to be to gauge her. As if his world narrowed entirely on her, and she experienced the draw to that. The importance of feeling a man engrossed in her.
She realized in this moment, Kyler didn’t stand in front of her.
Master Kyler did.
Chapter Sixteen
Hand in hand, Kyler led Ella toward a stage on the left side of the dungeon. She noticed most of the members were standing near the spanking bench, where Dom Porter flogged a submis
sive that Ella hadn’t personally met yet.
Terrific. They’re all busy.
Not to say that Ella wasn’t excited over the idea of others watching her, but she wasn’t ready to jump up and down about the idea, either.
On the stage where Kyler headed, there were three long pink aerial silk sheets hanging from the ceiling. The one in the middle was wider, and the two narrower pieces ran down next to it. She’d seen something similar during an aerial ballet show that her grandmother had taken her to.
Off to the side of the silks, she noticed a bench that looked similar to a pommel horse, with a curved back and no handles. Upon closer scrutiny, it was made of cherrywood, with padded black leather on the top and on the sides.
Following Kyler, she climbed the steps onto the stage and her focus drifted back to Porter’s scene. Though the flogging looked intense and mildly painful, leaving the submissive with a bright red bottom, Ella’s body flushed.
How would that feel?
Was it pleasurable or was it painful?
Her book said a flogging was intense and the pain brought a higher pleasure, but to fully understand it Ella thought she’d have to experience it. And she realized she wanted to, and shivered in anticipation.
“Ah, I see how that scene excites you,” her Dom said.
Ella nearly banged into Kyler as he had stopped on the stage. He gripped her arms, steadying her. Then he brushed his finger down her throat with the whisper of a touch. “But knowing what you’ve been through, we will grow into that type of scene, yes?”
She frowned. “Kyler, just because Rory hurt me doesn’t mean I’m broken or you need to baby me. I want to do what every other submissive would do. Please don’t treat me differently.” She didn’t want to be a victim, she had never wanted that. “I know the difference between violence and the smack on an ass from pleasure.”
His eyes narrowed, stone cold. “First, little one, what mistake did you make?”
The Club Sin Series 4-Book Bundle Page 60
