Jennifer continued. “Hopefully everything will be done in two months or so.”
“You will never be done.” Mary took a sip of her wine, then added with a laugh, “You’ll find something new to change in your house.”
Jennifer smiled. “Maybe that’s true.”
Mary hadn’t done a single thing to her house or her lake house in years. And as she took another sip of her wine, she wondered if that was strange. Even as she looked at her sister, who had just returned from a three-week vacation in Costa Rica, Mary noted that she hadn’t gone on a vacation in more years than she dared to count.
Not since…
Charles.
Her stomach roiled in wonderment over why she’d stopped doing those things, but she pushed on and asked Jennifer, “Now that you’re home from Costa Rica, when and where is the next trip?”
“Argentina in a month, for a week,” Jennifer replied, before she took another bite of her dinner and smiled warmly. “You know me so well. I never can stay in one place for too long.”
Mary forced a grin, covering up the tightness in her throat. You don’t know me at all.
But there is someone who does…
She grabbed her wineglass, taking a larger sip to wash the yearnings away. No matter that Elliott made his point clear enough that he wanted to get to know her and to start a relationship, Mary fought against the thoughts of Charles. Elliott’s masculine face, the way he’d whispered naughty words in her ear, all invaded her now.
Jennifer snapped her fingers in front of Mary’s face. “Gosh, you need sleep or something. Did you hear what I said?”
“Sorry.” Mary blinked. “What were you saying?”
“It’s Mom and Dad’s anniversary tomorrow,” Jennifer said with a frown. “I thought we could go and bring flowers to their grave site.”
Mary nodded. “Of course, I’ll bring the flowers.”
With that reminder of death and loss, her body settled. Her thoughts became distant and focused not on Elliott, not even on Charles, but on that empty space within that made her able to wake up every day and continue to breathe.
—
Just a little after six o’clock on Wednesday evening, Elliott strode into a classy lounge, taking a seat at the bar. The waiter immediately brought over his scotch on the rocks, and Elliott smiled in thanks. Next to him, on a small stage, the jazz band played an old classic, and the woman’s singing voice was soft and sweet, and set the right mood for Elliott to drain away the stress from the day.
Years ago, he’d come to the lounge near his office after work to escape his ex-wife. Now, after so many years had passed, he used the half hour, sipping his scotch, as a method to unwind. Once he left this lounge, all thoughts of work fled, too.
He lowered his head, looking at the ice in his glass, and he knew his thoughts were far away from work and completely focused on Mary. She hadn’t called. Perhaps foolishly, he thought she would had.
Deep down, he wondered if Mary simply needed to have a man put in a little more effort. He believed she needed to see that he was entirely interested in her, and that if he showed her he understood what she was going through, she’d open herself up to him. He’d never been so wrong. And he couldn’t ignore the disappointment tightening his muscles.
“This is a surprise,” a gentle voice said.
He glanced up, finding his ex-lover, Laura, smiling at him. “Yes, it surely is.” Laura was a beautiful woman, with legs that went on and on, and her exotic look, with light green eyes and dark hair, had tempted him a few years back. “How are you?”
She took a seat next to him, placing her wineglass on the marble bar, regarding him. “I’m just fine. But I think the better question is, how are you? You look terrible.”
He snorted, glancing at his glass. “Thanks.”
She placed a hand on his shoulder, drawing his focus, and her brows were furrowed. “Really, though, has something happened?”
He regarded her, knowing she’d see right through him. Laura was a switch, meaning she enjoyed both the submissive and the Dominant role in BDSM play. Her insight into him simply told him she had been learning more in the art of reading people, which was a lesson a Dom had to learn to perfect his craft. When he had played with Laura, she was closer to submissive.
After a sip of his scotch, he said, “Just a tough day.”
“Must have been hellish.”
“You know,” he said, arching a brow at her, “you might begin to insult me if you continue to tell me how terrible I look.”
She gave an easy laugh. “Are you still holding your parties?”
He nodded. “How is Chains treating you?”
“It’s been”—her grin was sensual and full of heat—“interesting.” She gestured over her shoulder, and Elliott noted a younger man watching them. “I found myself a fun little toy that is very determined to please.”
“How nice for you,” Elliott replied, not impressed by how much younger the man was than Laura. Though, by Laura’s bright smile and near adoring eyes, how could he judge? The man seemed fixated on her, and Laura seemed elated.
“Well, I see that you’re not in the talking mood, but I wanted to say hello.” Laura pushed off the stool, picked up her wineglass, and gave him a shit-eating grin. “A word of advice, Elliott, why don’t you just call her and then you won’t have to sit here alone and look so miserable.” She turned on her shiny black heels and strode away.
Elliott chuckled.
It should be that simple.
He drew his cell phone from his pocket and stared at the screen. Dmitri had given Elliott Mary’s phone number, though if he called her now, it would be only out of sheer desperation. He wanted to fight for her, of course he did, but he had already done that.
He couldn’t do more.
With a sigh, he finished off his drink, then shoved his phone back into his pocket. The next step didn’t belong to him, it belonged to Mary.
—
The telephone ringing had Mary rushing through her foyer with the ten-foot ceilings and into the French country living room. Her heart leapt with excitement, as she knew exactly who it would be. Her son Calvin always called Thursday evenings for their weekly chat. She grabbed the cordless phone off the white wicker table and pressed it to her ear. “Hello.”
“Hi, Mom.”
The sound of Calvin’s soft voice made Mary smile. He sounded so much like Charles on the telephone. The first year after Charles passed away she found it hard to talk to Calvin on the phone. In person, it wasn’t so similar. Now the familiarity comforted her. She sat down on the blue-and-white flower-patterned couch, drawing her legs up under her. “How are things?”
“Busy, as always, but I finished a big exam yesterday,” he replied. “I’m looking forward to the weekend.”
“Glad to hear your test is over,” Mary said. “I hope you plan to do something fun this weekend.” Calvin didn’t only sound like Charles, he also acted a lot like him. Both were driven and focused on their careers.
Mary always thought that’s what she brought to Charles’s life—she loosened him up a little and got him out of his stuffy suit. When she met Charles, he was working twelve-hour days. In the year before he got sick, she had got him down to working a standard eight hours.
“You know, Mom,” Calvin said with a laugh. “Most parents are pushing their kids to study harder.”
“You work hard enough,” she said, staring at the family pictures on the fireplace mantel. Pictures that had Charles in them. “How is Sam?”
“He’s good—closed on a big property earlier this week. We’re celebrating tonight at a club.”
“Sounds fun.” Calvin had come out to both her and Charles when he was in high school. Not that he needed to say anything; they had known Calvin was homosexual from a very young age. But she was happy he felt comfortable enough to tell them.
Love is hard to find. If you are lucky enough to find it with a person that makes you smile every day, then
it doesn’t matter who it is with, Charles had said to Calvin the night a nervous and teary Calvin had sat them down.
Mary shared Charles’s feelings—love was hard and didn’t happen often, at least not true love. Charles had never met Sam, but Mary wished he had. Sam was a positive young man with a bright future in real estate. He also made Calvin very happy. Besides, Sam was one of the best shopping partners Mary knew.
Calvin asked, “What about you, any exciting plans?”
Mary flinched, knowing that she could have a fabulous weekend, if only she would call Elliott. Tomorrow was the deadline he had given. If she didn’t call by then, she knew that her chance for another night with him would pass her by.
She doubted he’d give her a second chance.
As she stared at the picture of Charles with his arms wrapped around her and her daughter, Cassie, with Calvin and Christian on either side of them, her heart clenched. It would be so easy to give in to Elliott. That day in the doctor’s office only reminded her how much she wanted him, but she had made promises to Charles.
Promises that had been forged into her soul.
Her heart clenched and darkness slid like a disease through her at the thought of disappointing the man she’d vowed herself to. She gave a heavy sigh. “I plan go to see Cassie in New York on Saturday. Is that exciting enough?”
Calvin laughed. “Oh, yeah, visiting your daughter is the definition of excitement.”
—
The chime of the elevator sounded right before the steel doors opened. Elliott stepped out onto the office floor of Dmitri’s casino with his briefcase in hand. He approached the receptionist, who greeted him with a smile.
“Elliott Foster to see Dmitri,” he said.
“Yes, sir, he’s expecting you.” The dark-haired woman rose from her seat and came around her desk. “Would you like a coffee or some water?”
“No, thank you,” he replied.
She gave a slight nod, then Elliott followed her down a hallway and past another young brunette, who he assumed was Dmitri’s personal assistant. The receptionist stopped at one of the office doors and gestured for Elliott to enter. He immediately spotted Dmitri sitting at his desk, talking on the phone.
Elliott took in the richness of Dmitri’s office, with large windows overlooking the Vegas strip, and deep cherrywood furniture. He took a seat in one of the leather chairs across from Dmitri’s desk as Dmitri said into the phone, “Yes. Fine. Do it.” Then he hung up, and when his gaze met Elliott’s his features softened with his grin. “Thanks for making the trip over.”
“No problem.” Elliott sensed such an odd tension riding him, tightening muscles along his shoulders. “The documents are ready to sign for that new project?” The very project that had brought Elliott to Dmitri’s house, where he first met Mary.
Dmitri raised his brows. “In a good mood, I see.”
Elliott sighed, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. He hadn’t slept well since last weekend, almost dreading today, since Mary hadn’t called. All day he’d been hoping she’d surprise him, but she hadn’t. “The week has been rough.”
“Business?”
Elliott lowered his hand, looking at a man he respected. He was hesitant to talk about Mary with Dmitri. They were too connected and it seemed wrong to discuss the matter more than he had with him. He shook his head. “Personal.”
A frown marred Dmitri’s forehead. “Is this about Mary? Is she still being difficult?”
Elliott almost wished she was being difficult, as that would be easier to deal with. Then he could at least work through the problem. She was completely avoiding him. It made no sense. He knew she wanted him physically. Those lustful looks, even her body language, always leaning in toward him, declared as much. “Difficult would be an understatement.”
Dmitri regarded Elliott, then pressed both arms against his desk, leaning in. “May I ask, how personal have things become between you?”
“For a time, very personal.” Which told Dmitri they had played together without having to say the words.
A silent moment passed before Dmitri’s features softened. “You seem invested in her.”
“Dmitri.” Elliott rubbed his neck, doing all he could to rid himself of the tension he couldn’t control. “She’s turned my world upside down.” He couldn’t stop thinking about her, every second of every day, always looking at his cell phone to see if she’d called.
Desperation ran through him, and he was never a desperate man.
He wanted her.
The passion. The connection. The way she was freed under his touch. How could she ignore all that? He hardly knew her and it was all that consumed his mind.
An emotion crossed Dmitri’s face that Elliott thought resembled pity. “Listen, I’m sorry to hear that, but what she shared with Charles had was special.” He paused and said on a sigh, “Very special. They were more connected than any other D/s relationship I have ever seen.”
No jealously touched Elliott. “Yes, I understand that, but it’s been many years now. For the life of me, I don’t understand why any woman would refuse to allow herself to be happy.”
“I don’t think it’s that simple,” Dmitri said, holding Elliott’s stare. “When Charles died, I imagine Mary did what she always has, be strong for others. Though I think by doing that, she simply forgot to take care of herself, too.”
Elliott had assumed the same by his time with her. “Yes, agreed, but that needs to change.”
Dmitri gave a small nod. “I’m not sure she even remembers who she used to be. I haven’t seen that side of her in a very long time.” Obvious sadness thickened his voice. “Before Charles died, she was vibrant and full of life. So in charge of everyone and everything around her. Then when Charles got sick, all of that light inside her vanished. Her sole focus was on getting Charles better.”
Elliott had seen that light inside her, even if for only a few moments. “Go on.”
“Her life became about Charles’s treatments. She took a leave from her practice and there wasn’t a single conversation I had with her that wasn’t about cancer. If you tried to change the subject, it went right back to that.” Dmitri’s concern for Mary was palpable in his low voice. “I don’t think she has ever truly put her pain to rest. I think she has simply done her best to forget it.”
“That is not living,” Elliott stated.
Dmitri agreed with a nod. “I don’t think she knows how to live without Charles.”
“But you think she could learn how to?”
“I know she deserves to be happy.” Dmitri’s gaze firmed as he leaned back against his chair, sending it squeaking beneath him. “I also know that Charles would want that for her.”
Elliott glanced down to his black slacks, pondering what he’d heard. He finally raised his head and asked the most obvious question: “Have you ever told her that?”
“No,” Dmitri said, shaking his head. “After Charles passed, I suspect I reminded Mary a lot of him. It took her years to see me as much as she does now. And I’m only too glad she’ll visit and not look so sad while doing it. I have no interest in dredging up the past.”
Elliott wondered if that was part of the problem. Did Mary need someone who wasn’t afraid to talk about painful things, or who didn’t tiptoe around the issue? To live again, maybe she just needed to be shown how.
Dmitri added, “Right to the heart of it, as Doms we need to take care of the one who belongs to us, yes?”
Elliott raised a hand, not needing him to continue. “And as a submissive, she gave all of herself to Charles during that time he was sick.”
“Exactly,” Dmitri replied. “She gave everything she had, and I’m afraid that spark that I used to see in her never recovered.” He hesitated, drawing in a deep breath. “I think Mary has gotten so used to not thinking of herself, she forgets the way life used to be. How bright things were. I would imagine she doesn’t see the future…”
Elliott’s chest restricted. “She only se
es what she lost.”
Chapter Ten
Minutes before eight o’clock at night, Mary took her seat in the dark red chair, listening to the chatter that always echoed in the historical theater built in the forties. The fan-shaped auditorium was decorated in gold and white, with five levels above the orchestra. Waiting for the musical to start, she sat back in her chair and looked at her cell phone.
Six hours had passed since she boarded the plane for New York City, settled into her hotel in the Theater District in Midtown Manhattan, and shopped for the long, black Nicole Miller evening dress she now wore. She smiled, seeing the e-mail from her younger son, Christian.
Below the text in the e-mail was a picture of him and his girlfriend smiling from ear to ear with the Egyptian pyramids in the background. Warmth filled her chest as she stared at her Christian. He had Charles’s eyes, a perfect light shade of brown.
Yet her throat tightened all the same; she missed her children, and Charles, too.
Alone. She was most definitely that.
Even now she began to realize how much she enjoyed going to the theater, but she hadn’t gone in years because she wanted to see a show; she went only for Cassie. After she sent off a reply to the e-mail, she noticed the date on the top of her phone. Hardness formed in her stomach, and she knew her week to contact Elliott was up. She’d given up the chance to start a D/s relationship. One she knew would give her all that she’d been missing in her life, but Elliott made her feel things she didn’t want to.
He hadn’t been wrong—she recognized there was a fierce connection between them. Her body had been buzzing ever since being with him. He’d all but left his touch imprinted on her. But her heart kept screaming Charles at her.
With Elliott it wasn’t only casual play; it could lead to more. She might have long ago taken off her wedding ring, but the diamond necklace around her neck was a constant reminder of her vow to Charles.
The Club Sin Series 4-Book Bundle Page 79
