When he lifts his head, he keeps his gaze fixed on her dark eyes, eyes that seem to be able to see right into his very soul. “I meant everything that I said to you last night. That’s why you have to go.” Sofie opens her mouth to protest and then closes it again when she sees Ashton’s expression. It’s clearly hard for him to say what he needs to; she’s not going to make it any more difficult for him by interrupting every five seconds.
“I can’t protect you here, not with all the craziness that’s going on outside. People hate us, your old boss is leading the charge against us and I don’t have any intention of putting you in his firing line, not again. The next time you might not be so lucky.” Ashton’s jaw tightens as the thought of what that would mean sinks in. Sofie thinks back to the dream that she’d woken from with Luke’s gun to her temple but she doesn’t say anything, Ash doesn’t seem to need any additional reasons to be paranoid over her safety.
“You can protect me a damn sight better than anyone else, Ash. You’re a werewolf,” she reminds him gently. “There’s not much that can compare to that.”
“Yes, but I’m not just a were. I’m an Alpha and I have a pack to lead.” As Ashton says the words she wonders if she’s imagining that he seems to almost be saying ‘but I wish I didn’t have to.’
“I know, I know, the pack always comes first. I get it.” Sofie holds up her hand, not needing him to repeat it, they’ve been over it before, again and again. The pack is his responsibility and that’s never going to change.
“That’s exactly the problem.” Ashton’s hold tightens even more around Sofie’s waist, pulling her as close to him as is humanly possible. “When I’m with you the pack doesn’t come first. You do.” The gravity of what he’s saying slowly sinks into her brain and she tries not to show how pleased she is that he feels more tied to her than anything else.
“And is that so very bad?” Sofie hazards a look up at him from under her thick lashes and her sultry expression is rewarded with a smile cracking on his face that was looking so serious.
“I wish it wasn’t. But it is for the 18 people that I’m sworn to protect.” The reminder of his duties is gentle but Sofie wonders if she’ll ever get used to it. Being with Ashton is more than just dealing with him and with the fact that he’s a werewolf – as if that wasn’t enough – it’s also about dealing with his pack, a whole other host of people and worries and obligations. It was like marrying into the Kennedy family, if the Kennedy family were werewolves.
“So you’re making me leave so that you concentrate on the pack? Have I done something to make you think that I don’t get how this whole Alpha thing works? Have I ever asked you to put me before Lindsey or Gus or Hector or Lola and the rest of the pack?” Sofie shakes her head, hurt that he would think she would be so selfish. Much as she would like to feel as important to him as the pack she would never have asked him to choose, not ever. She tries to take a step away from him, needing some space, but his arms around her tighten their hold.
“No, running girl, you haven’t ever asked me to choose. But you don’t have to. I do that all on my own.” He looks up to the ceiling, like he’s searching for strength. He sighs deeply, surrendering himself to the truth of what he’s saying. “When I’m with you, I can’t think straight and that’s exactly what I need to be able to do.” His blue eyes look deeply into hers, imprinting his soul onto hers. “You take all my control away. When I’m around you, I become a loose cannon; I’m all brawn and no brain. I’m so focused on you and keeping you safe that everything else fades into the background.” Sofie’s eyes widen at his words, at the tenderness there and at their significance. “But I can’t afford to be like that, to feel that way, not when so many lives are in my hands.” He looks at her, willing her to understand what he’s trying to tell her.
She waits a beat, thoughts and feelings swimming around her head. Before the words are even out of her mouth she knows that they won’t help her cause, but she needs to say them. “The best way to protect me would be to turn me, to make me like you.” Ashton shakes his head, releasing his hold on her and starting to pace up and down. “It’s what I want. Why won’t you listen to that?”
“We’ve talked about it already, Sofie. You had your vote, the pack didn’t pass the motion, that’s the end of it.” His voice is a low growl, his eyes menacing, as if the very idea of turning her into a were has made him angry
“It wasn’t the pack that didn’t agree, it was Gus, your right hand man, who only voted against it to make you happy, as you well know. Don’t insult my intelligence by pretending that things went down any differently than we both know that they did.” Sofie points a shaking finger at him, accusatorily.
Ashton’s eyes flash and his tone is full of frustration. “I’m not having the same argument again, just because you’re not happy with the way things played out. News flash, Sofie, we don’t always get what we want!” The last words are a shout and Sofie wonders how much of that little speech was about her and how much was about him and not being able to have what he wants.
“You’re right, there’s no point in having the same fight again and again. You’re not going to change your mind anytime soon and neither will I, so let’s leave it at that. The up-shot is that I’m not going, I’m not leaving you and the pack behind to go to Alaska. Read my lips: it’s not going to happen. Where you go, I go, it’s that simple.” She shrugs her shoulders to highlight how straightforward it is in her mind.
“It’s not a request, Sofie. You can’t stay here. You don’t have a choice.” Ashton’s words are angry but the expression on his face looks more like concern than it does frustration. Sofie doesn’t have time to list the ways in which his words are offensive before Ashton makes a gesture with his hand to cut her off. “If you are serious about wanting to become part of the pack then you need to start learning how to obey orders without questioning them every time. And, right now, I don’t know if you’re able to do that.” Ashton’s expression is a challenge, like he’s thrown down a gauntlet and he’s waiting to see if she’ll pick it up or not. He’s cold with her, distancing himself from her already. But his gaze is zeroed in on the necklace that she’s wearing, the one that he gave her -- the one that had saved her life.
Sofie looks at him, at the man that she loves, that she’s given up everything for and the anger that has been bubbling up inside of her at his words dissipates like air bubbles finding their way to the surface of water. She knows what thoughts are running through his mind, they’re painted on his face. He’s thinking about the day that he lost his mother, something that he still blames himself for, despite the fact that he was just a kid at the time. It was the same day that he lost control of the wolf and wreaked bloody vengeance on the men that were responsible for her death. From the way he’s looking at her, there’s no doubt that he would enact the same revenge on anyone that hurt her. She didn’t need a confession; his eyes held all the truth that she would ever need.
Sofie can see how hard it is for him to send her away, to say what needs to be said. He’s making too much of a show of pushing her away for her to believe it’s actually what he wants. He’s not fooling anyone, not even himself. He’s the Pack Master, the man responsible for the lives of a pack of Lycans, what is essentially an endangered species, especially if Luke gets his way. But that’s not all he is, he’s also the scared little boy that just wants his mother back and never wants to have to go through a loss like that again. It’s the knowledge of that which makes her soften to him again.
“When do I leave?” She asks the question in a low voice, head bowed, seemingly resigned to the fate that Ashton has decided for her.
He doesn’t make any attempt to hide his surprise at her sudden change of heart. His eyes look like they’re about ready to pop out of his head, but his voice remains even. “Tonight. You need to go tonight.”
Sofie feels like she’s being choked, not only is he sending her away, but he’s asking her to leave immediately. It’s not enoug
h time, not enough time to say goodbye to him. But would it there ever be enough time for that, she wonders?
“With everything that’s going on, I can’t risk you staying here for any longer. The sooner you get out of Beaumont and away from Calambor is the sooner you’ll be safer.” Ashton nods in agreement at his own words, like he’s still working on convincing himself of the truth of that. Sofie doesn’t point out that as news of the weres and the footage from the day before has now spread nationally, there aren’t many places where she would be safe anymore, but she remains silent. There’s no point in telling him something that he already knows. “You’ll travel with Gus, he’ll do what needs to be done to get you to Alaska.”
Sofie has started shaking her head firmly before Ashton has even finished his sentence. “Gus? You’re sending Gus with me? Are you really that pissed at me?” She shoots for humor but Ashton isn’t smiling.
“I trust him with my life and I trust him with yours. He knows what he stands to lose if anything happens to you.” Ashton’s grim expression tells Sofie that he’s likely to have threatened to bring down all manner of hellfire and damnation on Gus’s head if she got hurt.
Ashton would never forgive himself if anything happened to her. What he doesn’t seem to realize is that the road runs both ways. But Sofie was already formulating her plan, she had begun to think about it, subconsciously at least, from the moment Ashton told her that he was sending her away.
“I know that Gus owes you, big time. But having him baby-sit me probably isn’t the best use of his talents, right?” Sofie keeps her voice level, projecting an image of practicality, no emotion. “He’ll be more useful to you here, keeping the rest of the pack in line and if there comes a point when you need to fight, he’s the best soldier that you have.” Ashton is looking at her curiously, clearly wondering where her train of argument is going. But the curiosity is mixed with admiration at the way that she’s thinking, like a member of the pack.
“Go on.” He crosses his arms and leans back lazily against the wall, looking for all the world like he belongs on a billboard in Times Square rather than a house in the middle of nowhere.
“Besides, if you’re sending me away without me having any say-so, which is exactly what you’re doing, then I figure I should at least get to choose who I travel with. You’ve made all the decisions so far, at least give me this one.” She meets his eyes, hoping that her nervousness isn’t as easy to see as she thinks it probably is.
“If I say yes, then can we draw a line under this? No more arguments from you?” Ashton stares at her like he’s trying to see through whatever is behind her abrupt about turn that’s caught him so off-guard.
“You have my word. I won’t try to convince you not to send me away, not anymore.” Sofie holds her hand up in what she figures must be a Girl Scout promise. She’d never been a scout, but she’s seen enough movies to know how it’s supposed to work.
“I can’t believe I’m bargaining with you.” Ashton shakes his head and he seems to be talking more to himself. “But fine, if that’s what it takes to keep you safe and to keep you quiet,” he gives her a meaningful look, “then you get to choose from the pack.”
Sofie doesn’t have to think twice about whom she’s going to ask for, she’s known from the start. Despite her high emotional state, she’s a scientist at heart and her cool head would serve her well here. This was where she had wanted the conversation to get to from the moment it had become clear that Ashton’s mind wouldn’t be changed. There was no fooling Sofie, he was sending her away for her own protection, but there was also a part of him that wanted to separate her from the pack, perhaps hoping that a little distance would change her mind over wanting to be like them, wanting to become a Lycan. Little did Ashton know that nothing that he could do or say would be able to change her mind. It was made up and that was that.
“Lindsey. I want Lindsey to come with me.” Sofie plants her feet firmly, expecting a fight, doing her best to look like an immovable object. She’s not going to take no for an answer.
Ashton searches her face for some sign of what she’s thinking, but she keeps her expression bland, as if there’s nothing more to her decision than wanting her friend around.
“Lindsey. Why am I not surprised?” Ashton sighs deeply, unhappy about her choice, probably because he knows how strongly Lindsey believes that Sofie should be were. But he’s not left with much of a choice but to agree, it’s clear that it’s the only way that he’s going to get Sofie to leave. “Fine, you get your wish. Lindsey will take you to the Frontier pack in Alaska. I’ll go give her the good news.” The grim set of his mouth tells Sofie that he’s not exactly overjoyed with how this has all panned out but he can’t see a way around it.
“I’ll go get her.” Sofie jumps to attention, darting in front of Ashton like she’s expecting him to argue. “I know she’ll probably want to have a few minutes alone with Hector once she knows that the plan is, you know, female intuition and all that.” Sofie cringes at her own lameness but hopes Ashton isn’t able to see through her crappy excuse.
“Alright.” He looks at her strangely as he motions for her to go ahead and do just that. There’s something that isn’t right about this whole situation, but he can’t put his finger on it.
Sofie doesn’t give him time to ponder for too long about what’s caused her sudden change of heart and eagerness to obey. She raises herself on tiptoes, pressing her lips against Ashton’s. It’s supposed to be a quick peck, but things are never quick when it comes to kissing Ashton. He makes a low noise in his throat as his tongue flicks at the seam of her lips and she opens her mouth willingly to him, moaning in spite of herself.
It’s as if they’re both channelling all the emotions they’ve been running on during the last 24 hours into the kiss. Ashton’s hands are in her hair, letting the silky caramel strands sift through his fingers. She can feel the kiss all the way down into her pussy where an ache is developing, one that can’t be ignored.
Ashton backs her up so that she’s trapped between him and the wall behind her. He’s virtually on top of her, she couldn’t escape even if she wanted to, but she doesn’t want to, not even a little bit. He presses his hips against her, gently so she’s under no doubt of how ready he is for her. His hardness against her stomach turns her on so much she feels like she might come right there and then. She pushes her hips against his in return, showing him how much she wants him.
Sofie’s hands are running up and down his back, feeling the hard muscles bunching underneath his shirt. Impatiently, he shrugs out of his t-shirt, needing to feel his skin against hers. She’s just as eager as he is and she pushes the material up, desperate to feel the heat of his body underneath her fingers. Ashton in turn starts to unbutton the shirt of his that she’d borrowed that morning. She had arrived at his house the night before with nothing but the clothes she was wearing so her wardrobe was going to be an interesting mix of Ashton’s shirts and Lindsey’s hot pants until she could buy some of her own stuff.
Ashton is slow, deliberate in the way that he takes one button at a time, never taking his lips from hers, never breaking contact. When he finally reaches the last one, he pushes the shirt off of her shoulders and she lets it fall to the floor. Ashton pulls his head back to look at her and he shakes his head like he can’t believe how lucky he is. “You’re beautiful, you know that Sofie?” He doesn’t wait for her to answer, feathering kisses along her jaw so tenderly, his tongue flicking down her throat. He sinks to his knees kissing his way down her flat belly until he reaches the top of her borrowed hot pants.
Sofie is breathing heavily now, her fingers in his air, urging him on. He unbuttons her and pulls the zipper down slowly, reaching in with his hand to touch her.
“Fuck!” He sucks in his breath like he’s just been burned, snapping Sofie back to reality.
“What? What’s wrong?” She looks down at him in confusion, feeling suddenly very aware of herself.
But Ashton returns
her look, almost reverently. “Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. You’re not wearing any panties, Dr. Braun.”
Sofie feels her face flame at his words and she starts babbling. “Well, I didn’t exactly bring any luggage with me yesterday so -,”
“I’m so turned on right now I can barely think straight.” Ashton interrupts her, not letting her go off the rails with her own brand of neurotic babbling. He dips his head down, scenting her. “You smell so fucking amazing.” His words come out in a groan like he’s too hot for her to control himself.
He pushes her shorts down, exposing the patch of dark curls leading to her pink pussy. Ashton leans into her, spreading her legs wider. “I need to taste you.” And then his mouth is on her, tasting her, teasing her. He flicks his tongue over her clit, making her cry out in pleasure.
She looks down, watching him pleasure her with his mouth; it’s so hot she can’t take her eyes away from him. Ashton seems to know exactly what she’s thinking as he looks up, smiling wickedly before plunging back into her pussy, making her squirm and thrust her hips towards him, wanting him deeper, needing him to fill her up. As if Ashton can read her mind, he strokes his fingers over her swollen pink lips, feeling how wet she is and how wet he’s made her. He sinks his fingers into her, feeling how hot and tight her pussy is around him.
Sofie is moaning his name, barely able to say anything else as he strokes her clit while he penetrates her with his fingers. She throws her head back, striving for control, but she’s undone. “Ash, I’m close, I’m coming.” She cries out the last word, bucking her hips as he keeps pumping his fingers in and out of her.
Her wet juices slide down his fingers and, although Sofie is shaking from the force of her orgasm, the way that Ashton is looking at her tells her that he’s nowhere near finished yet. He kisses his way back up Sofie’s body, pulling down the cups of her bra so that he can lick her hard nipples, making her shiver with pleasure and expectation. She reaches behind his head, pulling him up to her face, needing his mouth on hers. She can taste herself on him and the thought of that makes her pussy throb with desire.
Torrent (Alpha Love - a Paranormal Werewolf Shifter Romance Book 4) Page 4
