“Mama,” she whispered into the cool ground.
Her mama had returned with Papa one day, but she wouldn’t hold Pearl or even look at her. Pearl had hugged her, but Papa had pulled her away and said her mama was too sick. The next day, they left the strange house full of people and brought Pearl to the orphanage.
A sob escaped Pearl now, both for the hurts she hadn’t understood back then and for the pain of these memories. Why had they sent her away? Because she was bad? Had she caused that fire?
Perhaps Miss Hornswoggle was right, and her parents had died. Or at least her mama. Whatever happened, Pearl never saw them again. And never would until she crossed into the next life.
That step could happen now unless she fought. Images of Amanda and the schoolchildren and Roland drifted through her mind. So many people here cared about her. So many depended on her. She must try.
Once more she summoned all her strength and rose to her elbows and knees. She squinted into the smoke and crawled a couple of steps until the pain became too much. Again she collapsed.
Ever since giving up hope that her parents would return for her, Pearl had taken charge of her life. She had worked hard at the orphanage and studied harder. Every waking moment was pointed toward this end—to help children succeed by giving them the gift of an education. Was that all to be snatched away before she’d even begun?
“Why, Lord?” she sobbed, her lips forming the words though nothing would come out.
Why now when she was doing the one thing she thought He’d destined her to do?
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him.
Was that familiar verse from Psalms telling her something? Had she overstepped her bounds?
“Help me!” This time something came out of her throat, but the gentle croak vanished beneath the howl of wind and fire.
No one would ever hear her. She could not walk, could not even crawl. Without help, she would die. Pearl no longer had any control over anything. Her life hinged not on what she could do for herself but in what God would do for her. All she could do was submit her life to His care.
Utterly depleted, she laid her face against the cool ground and surrendered control to her Lord and Savior.
The fire still raged. The wind still howled. Pain numbed her mind, and each breath still hurt. Yet everything had changed. Peace settled over her. Whatever happened, He was with her.
A single cool drop splashed on her cheek. Then another and another. Rain.
Tears bunched in her eyes and slipped over the bridge of her nose before falling to the cool earth. God was with her.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Roland carried two little girls to the top of the dune. From there they could see the homes and businesses in Singapore. To the southeast, the fire still raged, but the driving winds would keep it away from town. Soon it would run into cleared land and lose its fuel. The fire would die. Had Pearl?
He set down the now-squirming girls as his brother joined him.
“Go,” Garrett said. “Miss Porter and I can take the children home from here.”
Roland didn’t need more encouragement, but Garrett gave it anyway.
“You did the right thing. She would be proud of you.”
Roland wasn’t. The entire terrible trek west had reinforced his guilt. Yes, the fire had begun from the tugboat, but that tug would never have been there if he hadn’t built a dock for the glassworks factory that now would never happen. As he ran toward the blaze he realized that the project that had once possessed his every waking moment no longer meant a thing.
All that mattered was Pearl.
If he found her charred remains, he would never forgive himself. He should have made sure she followed. He should have looked back. He should have listened to her concerns about the construction site. He should have found another place for the school. The list of charges against him was long. No judge would acquit him, certainly not God.
At the top of the wooded slope, the carnage became evident. His building timbers had burned away. The bricks were cracked rubble. The woods had largely burnt and the schoolhouse was a smoking hulk of charred wood.
He stumbled forward. Pearl couldn’t possibly have survived. Yet he could not abide anyone else finding her. He could not bear to think of another soul touching her.
“What a fool I am,” he cried to the God he had set aside in the name of progress. Selfish dreaming might be a better name for it. Yes, it would have helped the town, but at what cost? Had he taken the time to bring everyone together? Had he ensured others shared that dream? No, he’d plowed ahead, dreaming of riches, not the benefit to others. His name would go on the glassworks. His bank account would grow. How worthless and conceited.
He had thrown away the things that mattered most—his family and the woman who made him reconsider every decision he’d ever made. She’d brought him back to church. Now he knew that wasn’t enough. If he’d given her a chance, she would have led him straight to the Lord. Instead, he’d let her down. He’d let everyone down.
“I was wrong,” he called out to God. Like the penitent of old, he struck his chest with his fists. If anything would bring Pearl back, he would do it, but even the most righteous human did not bribe God.
He dropped to his knees. “Your will, not mine.”
The words should have sapped his strength, but a drop of rain splattered against his uplifted face. Then another and another. Each one poured hope into him as if from a bucket. He clambered to his feet and ran.
Whatever he found, whether Pearl lived or died, the Lord would be with him. Somehow, deep down, he knew that would be enough. Yet hope built with each step. The remnants of the fire had moved south. The area around the school smoldered. He pressed his shirtsleeve to his nose to filter out the choking smoke. He’d left his coat with Pearl after dousing the flames on her skirt.
Pearl, oh, Pearl. What would he find?
He slid down the slope and hurried around the smoking remains of the schoolhouse. Then he halted, shocked.
The hand pump, inexplicably dribbling water, stood in the center of the open backyard. Beneath it, in the trail of the streaming water, lay Pearl, her clothing no more burned than when he’d left her. His coat lay behind her, where she’d once lain and from where she must have crawled.
He stumbled toward her and dropped to his knees.
“Pearl?”
He touched her shoulder.
She did not respond.
He cupped her soot-covered cheek, which was streaked with perspiration...or tears. It felt slightly warm. Was she alive?
He placed an ear on her back and heard the most wonderful sound on earth, the beating of her heart.
“Pearl,” he choked out through the tears. “Oh, Pearl.”
He pressed his lips to her cheek.
She stirred, ever so little, but it was enough to send hope surging through his veins.
“Thank You, God.” The whispered words filled with emotion.
Then he gathered her in his arms.
* * *
Waiting had never been easy for Roland. After carrying Pearl to the boardinghouse and placing her on the bed in her room, Mrs. Calloway shooed him downstairs to the parlor, where Amanda and Fiona turned eager eyes in his direction.
“How is she?”
He shook his head. “Not awake. We need to send for a doctor.”
“Mr. Calloway already left for Holland,” Amanda said.
“Holland,” Roland repeated dully. Why didn’t Singapore have its own physician?
“Mr. Calloway said that was the closest doctor.”
Roland scrubbed his jaw. “That’s probably true. The doc in Saugatuck heads upriver
this time of year.” But that meant a long wait. “It’ll take hours.”
“He took Old Tom,” Amanda said hopefully.
Roland breathed a sigh of relief. Old Tom might balk at pulling the heavy fire pump, but he could bring Ernie Calloway to Holland faster than a man could walk. “Good. It won’t be long, then. How are the children?”
Amanda brightened. “All safely home. Once we were within sight of the village, their spirits lifted, though they’re worried about Pearl.”
Roland couldn’t blame them. “Me, too.” He wondered for a moment how Sadie was doing. She’d been through too much for her tender years.
“I’m sure all will turn out well.” Amanda rose. “I’ll go look in on her.”
“Mrs. Calloway said everyone had to leave the room,” he said.
She gave him a pitying look, one that women used to indicate he simply didn’t understand. “I’m Pearl’s dearest friend. Mrs. Calloway will welcome my help.”
Everyone apparently only included him.
“Moreover, it’s my room, too.” Amanda tucked her embroidery into a basket before leaving the parlor.
They shared a room? That shouldn’t have surprised Roland if he’d been observant. It fit with Pearl’s inability to purchase primers, a new dress or a winter coat. Though Amanda’s gowns were finer, she, too, wore only a couple different ones. Pearl had carried only a carpetbag when she landed in Singapore. He’d assumed she had sent her trunks to the boardinghouse, but what if all she owned was in that single bag? She had let slip that she was an orphan. He’d assumed she’d been raised by relatives, but what if she hadn’t?
He hurried after Amanda and caught her on the first step of the stairway.
“Miss Porter. Amanda.”
She turned, her violet eyes more somber than usual. “Is something wrong?”
He shook his head. “I wondered if you could answer something for me. It’s about Pearl. She mentioned she is an orphan.”
Amanda turned her face from him. He couldn’t help but notice how tightly she gripped the railing.
Something about that statement bothered her, but he could not stop now. “Did she live with your family?”
Amanda’s shoulders drooped. She shook her head.
“But you said you are close friends, and Pearl said you grew up together. She must have lived near, perhaps with a relation?”
She turned troubled eyes toward him. “Please don’t ask me these questions. Pearl needs to give you the answers.”
What was she hiding and why? “I mean no harm.”
“I know that, Mr. Decker, but Pearl is the one who should give you the answers you seek.”
That sounded ominous, as if Pearl had something to hide. Impossible. She was the most open person he’d ever met. She spoke her mind, sometimes without thinking first, but openly nonetheless. He could not believe her capable of deceit. And now she lay in grave danger, if her unresponsiveness and Mrs. Calloway’s concern were any indication.
“Shouldn’t we contact a family member?” he persisted. “Send a letter or telegram?”
She shook her head ever so slightly. “That won’t be necessary.” Then she practically sprinted up the staircase.
Odd. Very odd. Either Amanda had complete faith in Pearl’s recovery or Pearl was estranged from what family she had. Unless she had none. Roland drew in his breath. After losing his parents, Garrett had become his only family. Roland had nearly wrecked that with his foolish longing for Eva. Lust. Best call it what it was. Roland hated to lose to anyone, and Eva had been a pawn in the terrible struggle between Roland and his brother. Though Roland had never touched her after she abandoned him for Garrett, he still wanted her. No wonder she’d run from him.
Roland felt ill. No wonder Christ had condemned not only the coveting, but also the covetous thought. He needed a heap of forgiveness, but before he could plead before God, he must humble himself before his brother.
As if on cue, the front door opened, ushering in Garrett and the children, all dripping wet.
“Uncle, uncle,” Sadie cried, throwing her arms around his legs.
“Let’s get those coats off,” Garrett said.
Once the children’s slickers had been removed, Roland picked up Sadie and gave her a bear hug, overwhelmed by gratitude that this little one had survived. Thanks to Pearl, who’d risked her life for Sadie.
He set her down. “Any bumps or bruises?”
“Cocoa scratched me.” She held up a wrist with a red welt where the frightened kitten had gouged her.
Roland kissed the spot. “There. All better. How is Cocoa?”
“She’s hiding behind the bed.”
“Not surprising. You were very brave to rescue her.”
The little girl’s eyes filled with tears. “Miss Lawson saved me.”
“Yes, she did.” Roland looked up at his brother, who shot him a questioning look in return. Roland shook his head. “But now she needs to rest and get better.”
“Like Cocoa?”
“A little like Cocoa.”
Fiona appeared in the parlor doorway. “I thought I heard you two darling children. I happen to have a game of jacks all set to play. Would you like to join me?”
The two children squealed their agreement, and Garrett shot Fiona a look of gratitude. She smiled back, and Roland wondered if he’d guessed wrong about Amanda and his brother. If Garrett could communicate with Fiona simply with a look, then they’d spent more time together than he’d realized. Roland was beginning to see just how little he knew about his brother.
Once the children had left with Fiona, Garrett grew solemn. “Any word?”
“Ernie took Old Tom to fetch a doctor from Holland, but you probably already knew that.”
Garrett nodded. “It’ll be a couple more hours before we can expect them, then.”
Roland knew this, but hearing it confirmed dampened his already turbulent feelings.
Garrett must have seen his pained expression, for he leaned close to whisper. “Did she wake?”
“Once. Well, not completely. She stirred and murmured something when I first found her.”
Garrett nodded gravely. “We must take that as a good sign.”
Then why did he look like a man waiting for a funeral? Roland attempted to swallow the sawdust in his throat and failed. “She’s a strong woman.”
“That she is.” Garrett looked down at his scuffed and worn boots.
Though Roland’s brother could afford new footwear, he would not buy anything that wasn’t practical. Unlike Eva. She adored the frivolous and beautiful. Like Amanda, she glowed when dressed in a pretty gown with her locks curled. Roland sighed. Maybe Garrett and Amanda weren’t such a good match. She could be too similar to Eva. Speaking of which, Roland had unfinished business that he could not put off any longer.
He cleared his throat. “May I have a word with you?”
Garrett looked up, curious. “If you need money to cover your losses on the factory, I’ll do my best to help out.”
“No. That’s not it. Not even close.” Roland drew a deep breath. Garrett had been exceptionally kind today, but their relationship would never strengthen until he cleared the air. “I need to confess something.” He swallowed. “This might hurt. Do you want to step out onto the porch for some privacy?”
No one sat on the porch in this weather. In fact, Ernie Calloway had put the chairs into the barn for the winter.
Garrett eyed him suspiciously. “What is it?”
Roland stepped outside, and his brother followed. Only after he closed the door and they moved to the far end of the porch would he speak. The rain still fell in sheets, and the spray off the railings misted their clothes.
“What happened?” Garrett prompted, his arms crossed in front of his ches
t.
Roland’s heart thumped against his rib cage like an angry bear in a cage. There was no getting out of this now. “I wronged you.”
Garrett’s brow rose but he said nothing.
Roland continued, “Eva and I were more than friends before she went to you.” He drew in another breath and hesitated a moment in case Garrett’s anger exploded. It didn’t. “I know now that I drove her away. She wanted love and encouragement and devotion. I could only think about my plans and my future. I thought she fit into it. I was wrong.”
Garrett nodded curtly.
Roland knew that was his signal to proceed, but it got more difficult from that point forward. “I tried to make her into what I needed. When she left, I was furious, even envious. I couldn’t understand what you had that I didn’t.”
“What did you do to her?” Garrett growled.
Roland held up his hands. “At least let me finish before you pound me senseless. That’s why I couldn’t attend your wedding and why I accepted the store manager position here in Singapore. Then you followed me here. I couldn’t stand to see Eva every day. In my mind it rubbed salt in the wound. Then...” He hesitated before this difficult part.
“Then what?”
“I’m ashamed of what I did.” Roland swiped his brow, which in spite of the cool temperatures was sweating profusely. “I talked to Eva.”
“Talked to her.”
“Asked her why she preferred you, suggested she would have done better with me. That’s why she left in the skiff that day. If I hadn’t pressed her, she would never have died.”
The blow came without warning, but not a fist to the jaw, which would have knocked Roland senseless. Instead, Garrett clapped him on the shoulder and gave him a solid shake.
He looked Roland in the eyes. “You must forgive yourself. God has.” His grip relaxed. “And I have. Long ago. I knew about your relationship with Eva.”
Mail Order Mix-Up Page 22
