by Bolz, Stefan
“I can’t see, I can’t see!” the woman screamed. “I can’t see!”
Take control.
Maybe it wasn’t her who thought it. She wasn’t sure. When she relaxed her eyes while they were open, she could see a glimmer. Lighter green shapes on a dark background. It reminded her of the night vision goggles she had tried out in the Army store where she got her backpack. This one was more focused though. The edges were blurry, a washed out green. But in the center, she could see the vague outline of her hands when she looked down and concentrated on relaxing her eyes.
She saw the silhouette of the woman about fifteen feet away as she knelt on the ground holding her head.
“Ma’am,” Kasey said.
“Hello?” the woman responded. “Is there anybody there?”
“Yes. My name is Kasey. I’m coming to you.”
“I’m blind!” the woman cried out. “I can’t see anything.”
“I know. Me too,” Kasey replied. “Keep talking so I know where you are.”
Kasey had lost the green images again. They were substituted by complete blackness once more. I’m straining my eyes too much. She reached the woman.
“I’m here,” she said. “Stretch out your hand.”
Kasey could see the faint outline of the woman’s hand. She took it gently.
“Come on, I’ll help you up,” she said. The woman stumbled to her feet and had to hold on to Kasey’s arm.
“I can’t see anything!” the woman muttered in utter panic.
“Shhh, it’ll be okay.” Kasey held her. She could smell the woman’s perfume and the abundance of hair products she used.
“I just pulled out of my driveway back there and suddenly everything went black.”
“Do you want me to help you walk back to your house?” Kasey asked. She couldn’t think of anything else to do. She didn’t really want to help the woman. She felt sorry for her for, sure, but what she really wanted to do was try to find the people who had taken Jack. The more time went by, the less chance she had to possibly catch up with them.
“Would you do that?” the woman asked.
“Sure. How do we know which one is yours?”
“Pardon?” The woman’s voice was shaky and filled with fear.
“How will we know which one is your house?”
“I’ve got… I’ve got an iron fence in front.”
“Okay. Do you have your house keys?”
“Yes. No. They’re in my car.”
“Okay. Let’s go get those first.”
Kasey, holding the woman’s arm, navigated past the fallen garbage cans and toward the woman’s car. There were panicked screams coming from the nearby houses. Another car crashed into something further up the road. Kasey couldn’t see a thing until she stopped for a moment. There. The roof. Not more than a glimmer of green in the blackness. She opened the door and reached inside and grabbed the key chain from the ignition switch.
“I got it.”
“I was watching TV.” The woman held on to Kasey’s arm. From the way she walked, Kasey assumed that she was older. “There were all those outbreaks everywhere. People were fighting. And then the governor came on. He said we’d get help but to stay inside and lock the doors.”
“Watch out for the curb,” Kasey said. She could sense it more than anything.
“I should’ve stayed inside but I thought I’d get some groceries. Since Paul died, I don’t need that much anymore. But there’s that really good Italian meat sauce from Rino’s.”
“I know that one.”
“You do?” the woman was almost in tears now even though Kasey could hear the brief smile in her voice. “Are you from around here?”
“Yes. I live just a few blocks from here.”
“You’re a very nice girl to help an old lady like this.”
“I think we’re here,” Kasey said. Her hands touched the wrought iron fence as they walked along it. “Are there any steps to your house?”
“Yes. Three.”
“Okay. Let’s be careful.”
“I usually go in through the garage.”
They went up the steps to the front door and Kasey opened the lock. It took a few moments for her to find the right key but eventually the door opened.
“I can stay with you if you want,” Kasey said.
“No, no. I’m fine. You’ve got to take care of yourself. You have a boyfriend?”
“I… don’t know.”
“A girl as pretty as you gotta have someone.”
“How do you know if I’m pretty?”
“I know if someone’s pretty, dear. I can hear it in their voice and in what they say and how they say it.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes.”
Kasey could hear the lie in the woman’s voice. The underlying fear gave her away.
“I can stay with you. It’s no trouble,” Kasey said, suddenly feeling guilty for wanting to leave her all by herself in the house.
“I’m fine. I’ve lived here for thirty-five years. I can cook a whole dinner in the dark.”
“Okay.”
Kasey realized that part of her didn’t want to leave the woman for her own sake. This seemed a safe enough place and the thought of searching the city for Jack in complete darkness was something she dreaded. But she couldn’t imagine doing nothing either.
“What are you going to do?” the woman asked.
“Look for my… boyfriend.”
“That’s good. I’m sure he’s all right.”
“Can I use your bathroom?” Kasey asked.
“Of course.”
The woman led Kasey to a door a bit further down the hallway. Inside, Kasey opened the faucet and let the cold water run over her hands. Then she washed her face as best as she could. The cold water felt good on her hot skin. Now alone, the images from before pushed themselves back into her mind.
Take control.
Kasey opened the door.
“Thank you,” she said. The green hue in her sight let her see the woman’s silhouette. Kasey wondered for a moment how her vision would work at night.
“Go,” the woman said. “And tell your boyfriend he’s got a keeper.”
The woman’s hands found Kasey’s face. She held it for a moment, then she kissed both her cheeks several times.
“God bless you, my child.”
Kasey began to cry. She couldn’t help it.
“Listen to me,” the woman said, still holding Kasey’s face in her hands. “You’re young and you might not know it yet, but you have something in you. A quality I haven’t seen in a lot of people lately. You’re a light in the dark. Don’t forget that.”
“Thanks.” Kasey couldn’t think of anything else to say.
The woman led her to the door and opened it.
“Bye. And come back to visit anytime. I’ll cook for you and your boyfriend.”
“Jack. His name is Jack.”
“That’s a strong name.”
“Bye,” Kasey said.
She turned and walked toward the road. She heard the sound of the door closing behind her. There was a finality to the sound, as if it was closing for the last time. Kasey pushed the thought aside. She could see the dark outline of the fence ahead. There was shouting coming from the right, up the road. A baby’s cry reached her from a house across the street. Otherwise it was eerily quiet. If everyone is affected by the blindness, maybe the driver of the SUV can’t see either.
It wasn’t much, but at the moment, she could use every bit of hope she could gather. She stumbled toward the street and fell over one of the garbage cans but found the Jeep a few minutes later. She knelt next to Officer Carpenter’s body and took off her walkie-talkie together with the battery pack. She also took the holster with the handgun. It was much heavier than she expected and she wondered for a moment if she should take the belt as well. She decided that it might be useful and pulled it out of the officer’s pants. Another part of her found the whole sce
ne utterly disturbing. When she was done, she put the officer’s hands on top of one another on her stomach. She wanted to say a prayer but couldn’t think of one. She was raised Catholic but had never practiced.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
She got up and climbed into the Jeep.
Relax your eyes.
The only lead she had was the industrial complex in Bay Shore. On a regular day, she could make it there in twenty minutes, maybe less, depending on traffic. Today, she’d be lucky if she could make it in three to four hours. She started the car and slowly backed up. She hit one of the garbage cans but was out on the road quicker than she’d expected.
She could see shapes that looked like cars parked on both sides of the road, but she couldn’t see any road signs nor anything in the background. She remembered Corbin Avenue from when she was a kid. She and her friends used to ride their bikes there. Even though she hadn’t made the trip for at least five years, she knew how to get there. In daylight. Under normal circumstances. She put the car in drive and rolled down the street.
She didn’t know it yet but it would take her sixteen hours to get to the complex. Time stretches out when you’re afraid and it shrinks during times of happiness. Those sixteen hours would become the longest hours in Kasey’s young life.
While concentrating on the road and trying to make out the different shapes in the dark, the memory of her mother and the feeling of utter loneliness and loss would wash over her periodically — like the waves in the surf, relentlessly pushing against her, only to subside for brief moments of respite and return stronger than before. Once in a while, she’d have to stop the car completely. The pain during those moments would make her hunch over the steering wheel, sobbing, and unable to continue.
But then she’d think about Jack and what he might have to endure and she’d straighten herself in her seat and drive a bit further down the road. “I’m coming to you,” she’d say to herself often. “I’ll get you out of there somehow.” That was her mantra during those darkest of moments — to get him out, to somehow save him. She was in merciful denial over what this meant and what it would cost her to keep her promise.
Saturday, June, 22nd, 10:20 a.m. to Sunday, June 23rd, 05:48 a.m.
The blood in his mouth tasted like iron as Jack touched each of his teeth with his tongue to make sure none of them was missing. There was pressure on his right eye. He couldn’t open it. The left one he kept closed on purpose. Even now, the light outside his eyelids was excruciating. His head pounded and a piercing pain stabbed his left ribs each time he took a breath. His wrists were tied to something, maybe a metal pipe, judging by the sound it made when he tried to move his arms. The pipe itself hung slightly above his shoulders. That position made his head move forward whenever he shifted his weight from his knees to his arms to give his legs a rest.
He had lost all sense of time. He calculated that he was awake for about thirty minutes but he could be wrong. He had no clue how long he was out before. He couldn’t remember anything except Kasey’s terrified expression when they pulled him out of the car. Then there was blackness. He listened into the silence but there were no sounds other than the ones he made himself. He identified four floodlights, arranged in a square around him. Judging by the state his knees were in, he was kneeling on concrete. He wasn’t wearing a shirt anymore. The jeans had brown splatter all over them. Dried blood. Some of it must have been his. The rest came from the nice police officer. Carpenter.
He remembered her head exploding. It happened in a split second. She was still talking when the back of her head suddenly shattered into pieces of bone and soft tissue. He had closed his eyes out of reflex. When he’d opened them, he saw Kasey’s face. It was covered with blood, and worse. Then the men opened the car door.
“Hello,” he called out. He had done that at least once every minute during the time he’d been awake. In the beginning, he wanted to see if someone was there. He couldn’t see beyond the intense light so he had no idea where he was. But he thought that maybe someone outside would hear him. The problem was, he couldn’t yell loud enough. His ribs hurt too much. He could shout out a short “Hello?” but that was it.
But he could hear his voice echoing in what must be a large space. Maybe an abandoned warehouse. The perfect place to hold someone. He had seen enough movies to know that the cliché was a truth. Nobody would hear him. Nobody knew where he was.
He had lost all sensation in his hands. The cable ties had slowly but surely cut off his circulation. That and the fact that his hands were above his head. He moved his fingers regularly to keep the blood flowing at least somewhat.
Once, he tried to get up, but he realized that his legs were tied to the floor just below the knee. A piece of pipe, the same kind his hands were tied to, was placed behind his knee and secured on either side of his legs by cinder blocks. When he tried to pull himself up, his hands and wrists were flooded with pain. After a while he gave up trying to get out of this position. But he couldn’t stay in it either. The longer he knelt like that, the harder it became. There was no position that was comfortable or even slightly less painful.
Once he thought he heard a car outside. He yelled but stopped immediately after it felt like someone had just stabbed him in the side. The only time the pain was slightly lessened was when he concentrated on the weight of Kasey’s necklace on his chest. He hadn’t noticed how heavy it was before and the slight pressure on his skin felt soothing, as long as he was able to concentrate on it. Most of the time, the pain in the rest of his body was so overpowering, it blotted out that small comfort.
He got sick twice in the first hour he was there. The smell of it made him puke again until there was nothing left in his stomach. After the second time, he passed out. The wave of blackness came on fast and he woke up realizing that he had just wet himself.
“Turn those lights off. Now!” the voice came from his right. Jack heard a door close, followed by rushed footsteps on concrete.
“I said turn them off!” the voice was utterly familiar and completely out of place.
“Mom?”
“And untie him. Now!”
His mother, wearing one of the business suits she usually wore to work, appeared inside the square of lights.
“Oh sweetie,” she exclaimed.
Someone unplugged the lights. For a moment, Jack felt the coolness of the air on his skin. He hadn’t realized how hot the lights had been until now.
“Untie him. Hurry!” she said.
A man — one of the men who took him — cut the cable ties on both wrists. Jack’s hands fell down. He cried out in pain when he pulled them in and toward his stomach. The sudden increase in blood flow was unbearable. His mother knelt in front of him and he slumped into her arms.
“Oh sweetie, what happened to you?”
Someone removed the pipe above his knees and Jack fell to the side, curling up into a fetal position. Pain and relief flooded his body at the same time.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
He could smell her perfume, and even though she had not held him like this since he was thirteen, he remembered, could remember everything about it. He started to cry. That was also something he hadn’t done in a long time. He got punched in the stomach in middle school once. He cried more out of embarrassment and fear than anything. This was different. As much as the pain in his ribs let him, he sobbed into his mother’s arms as she held him and rocked him gently back and forth.
“Get some water!” she said to one of the men. “The police will be here soon. This was all a big misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding?” Jack’s mind turned in circles. Pain shot through his legs when he tried to straighten them.
His mom held the water bottle against his swollen lips.
“Here you go, sweetie.”
Jack drank a few sips but most of the water spilled out.
“Do you know what happened?” he asked. He couldn’t think clearly, couldn’t ho
ld onto any thought for longer than a few moments.
“Yes. Yes, I do,” she answered. “Your girlfriend…”
“Kasey, have you seen her?”
“I have, yes. She’s fine. She’s waiting for you at the hospital.”
“Why… why am I here?”
“As I said, it’s all a big misunderstanding. The important thing is, you’ll be all right and we can get you out of here once the ambulance gets here. Okay, sweetie?”
“Sure.”
“Kasey was asking for her necklace.”
“She was?” Jack knew the meaning of what his mom told him but he couldn’t connect that to anything.
“She told me to tell you to give it to me so I can give it to her.”
“Can’t I give it to her?”
“Yes, of course you can, sweetie. It’s just that you’re going to be getting X-Rays and someone’s going to look at you to make sure you’re all right. In the meantime I can get it to her a little faster. Here, she gave me a pouch to put it in.”
Jack looked at the small black pouch in his mother’s hand. The top was open.
“If you can just take it off and slide it in there, I can give it to her. She’ll be very happy to have it back, don’t you think? It was so nice of her to let you wear it.”
“Yes. Yes it was. I guess it’s okay, and if she wants it back, she can have it of course.” When Jack tried to reach behind his head to find the necklace’s small lock, the pain stopped him halfway.
“Can you do it?” he asked. “My arms hurt too much.”
“Sweetie, Kasey gave you the necklace and you should be the one to take it off, don’t you think?”
“I can’t lift my arms. When is the ambulance going to be here?”
There was one thought Jack could hold on to. It was strange but it helped him to focus. His mom wasn’t wearing any silk stockings. At first, it was but a single thought. There was no other beside it, no “if, then” scenario attached to it. For some reason, however, the fact that she was here, with him, in a business suit without silk stockings, was far more impossible than this day had been until now.
