Scarred Monster

by Winter Sloane

  Liliana walked up to him like a woman possessed, no longer in control of her body. He closed the distance between them, banding one muscled arm around her waist to pull her close for a rough, bruising kiss that melted her insides. She nearly dropped her picnic basket, but he caught it and placed it down. Slightly swaying on her feet, she gripped his broad shoulders, parting her lips slightly so he could push his tongue down her throat.

  For a moment, she forgot where she was, that she’d thrown her entire schedule away to spend the day with him. Liliana never regretted it. Heck, she wondered why she’d never done anything like this. Then again, she’d had no reason to. She played the role of good fiancée for Roger and her parents, never wanting anything for herself because she thought she lost the only man she wanted to the military.

  Now, everything had changed. Liliana felt different, too.

  “You look good,” she managed after he released her mouth.

  It was true. Under the sunlight, she could see every stubble, every nick and old scar on his handsome face clearly. Today, he wore a pair of worn jeans, a plain black shirt, and dusty boots.

  Both times, they’d met under the cover of night. When he suggested, well, insisted, on seeing her the next day, he’d looked surprised when she’d agreed without hesitation.

  “You too,” he said, thumbing her lower lip.

  “I made us lunch,” she said, blushing, unused to compliments.

  “Looking forward to it,” he said, flashing her a toothy smile, reminding her of a devious wolf.

  Caleb picked up the basket, wrapped a possessive arm over her shoulders, and guided her down the sidewalk, to a rusty green pick-up. He gave the back of her neck a squeeze as she slid inside the seat next to the driver’s.

  “Where are you taking me?” Liliana asked, putting her seatbelt on.

  Caleb went behind the wheel and started the engine. He turned the radio on, and a smile curved at the corner of her lips as classic rock came from the speakers. His taste in music hadn’t changed, she thought, pinching herself to make sure this was really happening. Caleb slid his big hand across her thigh, giving it a squeeze.

  “It’s a surprise,” he said, gray eyes dancing, a crooked smile still on his lips. It made him look younger, chased the shadows under his eyes, even for a few moments.

  A tingle shot up her arm.

  “What is it?” he asked, steering the truck from the street and past the city’s familiar neighborhoods.

  “Nothing. It’s nice seeing you like this, not—” she began.

  “Brooding and depressed? Fair warning. Some days, I’m unbearable, but with you next to me, I feel like a different person. You make me happy, Liliana.”

  She glanced at his harsh profile, the way he kept his gaze on the road. He’d always been a careful driver. Liliana wanted to run her fingers through that hair, to press her lips against his, make sure he was real, back, and hers, but she held back. The last thing she wanted was to get into an accident because she missed him, despite the fact they’d been spending more and more time together.

  “Good side or bad, I accept you, all of you, Caleb,” she said softly, because he needed to hear the words. She had the impression that he had fears of her running away. That was the last thing she’d ever do. For her, Caleb was it. The man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

  “If I had my way, I’d take you in front of a priest, make it official,” he said.

  “Soon.” Liliana clutched at her seatbelt, already seeing Caleb and herself, standing in a dusty little church in the middle of nowhere, where no one knew or cared who she was. She saw him, handsome as sin, the devil in his smile as he lifted her ring finger, sliding a simple gold band over it.

  Her chest tightened, and for a second, it hurt to breathe. Would they be truly be able to get what they wanted?

  “Soon.” Caleb agreed. They stopped at a traffic light, and his gaze captured hers, intense, dead serious. A silent challenge seemed to blaze into his eyes. Her man still thought once she’d seen the worst side of him, she would back down, but she was intent on proving that would never happen.

  ****

  “I always thought most of the household spied for my mother, but I guessed wrong,” Liliana was saying, munching on her sandwich.

  Caleb sat closer to her, until their shoulders touched. He observed every detail, committing them to memory, like the way she still took small, ravenous bites when she ate, the way the afternoon sun highlighted her dark hair. She had thought of everything, even bringing a checkered picnic blanket for them to sit on. Liliana fell silent, as if she only realized he hadn’t spoken in a while.

  “Sorry, am I babbling?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “I like hearing the sound of your voice.”

  She turned her neck, studying the cluster of old trees behind them and the river in front of them. A picturesque view. They didn’t speak for a few seconds. He had a feeling she was taking in the scenery. He wondered if the sounds of the running water and the buzz of cicadas in the distance calmed her the way it soothed his soul.

  After seeing nothing but sand and feeling the heat constantly bearing down on him for years, this felt like heaven.

  It was the perfect day to take her here, too. Usually, the local fishermen would make their way here during fishing season.

  “How did you find out about this place?” she asked, resting her head over his shoulder.

  Unable to resist touching that silken mass any longer, he ran his hand through the strands of her hair, liking how she shivered as he traced the curve of her spine.

  “A friend from high school and his family invited me here once for a camping trip. It was one of the most memorable moments in my childhood.” Caleb found her fingers, prying his open. He gave them a squeeze. Liliana was the only living soul who knew about his past, his parents. In the army, he seldom talked about his personal life.

  He continued, “Being with the Baxters, envy hit me. I told myself if I ever wanted a family of my own, I’d bring them here. Wife, kids, even the family dog. Of course, kids like to dream.”

  “It’s not too late.”

  Her words gave him hope, except in his personal experience, hoping too much gave way to disappointments. Caleb had hoped all the friends he considered brothers would make it home to their girlfriends, wives, and family. Most of them came back in wooden boxes.

  “Liliana.” He blew out a breath. “You have no idea what I’ve become. During my time in the field, I’ve done things I wasn’t proud of. The boy you’ve known and fell for, he’s gone. The man he’s become is a fucking mess.”

  She parted from his touch. He anticipated that, but it still stung. Caleb watched her like a hawk, speechless when she shifted from her spot to straddle his lap, locking her arms around his neck. Automatically, he placed his hands on her waist. Fuck, but she looked perfect there.

  “I’ve made bad choices, too,” she told him.

  “I can’t offer you anything. I might only drag you down with me, but you? You have so much potential. Even if you break away from Roger, you can build a new life for yourself.” Caleb didn’t know why he said those things. He could lose her in a heartbeat, but Liliana deserved so much better.

  “When I envisioned building a home, it was with you. Growing up in my parents’ house, I always felt lonely. In the place Roger picked, I felt like a stranger.” Liliana pressed a soft kiss to the side of his mouth.

  He tightened his grip, wanting to rid her of her clothes and his, so they could touch skin-to-skin. Some days, Caleb felt tainted, a monster who, for some reason, lived on while plenty of good men didn’t. Being with Liliana though, surrounded by her scent, the press of her soft, sweet skin, felt like standing next to the sun, when he’d been in the darkness for so long. When he sheathed himself inside her body, it felt like he could crawl out of his skin and touch her pure and amazing soul.

  His Liliana never saw herself as beautiful, but she was, both inside and out.


  “Keep talking like that, I might just never let you go,” he whispered in her ear.

  Caleb could see the rapid beat of her pulse under the shell of her ear. He slipped his hand past her sweater, to touch smooth, tempting skin. His dick ached, straining against the zipper of his jeans. Hunger felt like a living beast inside of him. He wanted to consume every inch of her, over and over.

  “Good,” she whispered. “Because I want you to keep me.”

  Chapter Six

  The words Liliana uttered undid him completely. Caleb had said his piece, warning her about the luggage he came with. If she planned to stay, to offer all of her to him, then who was he to refuse a gift?

  “Raise your hands,” he ordered.

  He peeled off her shirt, mouth going dry at the white lace bra that barely covered the swell of her breasts and rose-colored nipples. She grabbed the hem of his shirt, making him laugh. Caleb let her take it off, liking it when she rested her hands on his pectorals. A rumble of approval came out of his chest.

  Two nights ago, he’d been wary of her seeing him exposed like this, except when Liliana saw his scars, they didn’t see the same thing. She told him she saw a warrior, not a failure, a scarred monster who could have done more to save his brothers.

  She lowered her head, tracing one scar on his collarbones from tip to tip. He groaned, tipped her chin, and took her lips. Caleb kissed her slowly this time, showing her a different side to him, that he could do gentle, too. The sweet taste of her exploded on his tongue. He moved his hand to the clasp of her bra. A single flick, a tug down her shoulders, and her breasts were bared, her tits rubbing against him.

  When he pulled his lips from hers, she groaned, not protesting when he undid her jeans. Caleb slid his fingers past more lace, finally touching skin. She rubbed herself on his hand, moaning when he pulled away, lifting his slick fingers to his mouth and licking.

  Liliana widened her eyes. Color appeared on her cheeks and neck.

  “Baby, I can’t get enough of you,” he said, nuzzling her neck. Caleb lowered her to the ground, to the patch of soft grass peppered with tiny purple wildflowers. She looked like a goddess with her wild curls spread out on a sea of green and violet, her skin a rich cream, so easily marked.

  He took off her jeans, then discarded his, along with his boxers. Blanketing himself over her, he pelted down the side of her neck, sucking the hollow of her collarbones, before lavishing his attention on her breasts.

  Caleb circled her left nipple with his tongue, using a bit of teeth to nip at the sensitive bud until it pebbled, before moving to her right. He went lower, past her ribs, the curve of her belly, to pry her legs further open. He bit the inside of her thigh, before tonguing her cunt. Caleb found her already soaking wet for him.

  No surprise she started pleading for him to take her. He swirled his tongue up and down her slit, closing his mouth over her clit. She gasped when he slid two fingers inside her tight little cunt, and came, just like that, her breasts rising and falling as she fisted the grass.

  Caleb licked her need off his lips, enjoying the sight of her, languid and seemingly boneless. “Don’t relax, baby. I haven’t fucked you senseless yet.”

  He flipped her on her hands and knees, positioning himself in front of her. Caleb speared his fingers through her hair, but she didn’t need further encouragement. Liliana wrapped her lips around his shaft, running her tongue over the pre-cum at his slit.

  Caleb groaned, keeping his gaze on her. His cock grew rock-hard under her ministrations. Two nights together and she seemed to know his sensitive spots. She paid attention to the spot under his cockhead, using one hand to apply some pressure to his balls.

  At this rate, he’d come in her mouth. He couldn’t have that. Caleb wanted to finish inside her pussy, take a step closer to making her his, to that vision they both shared of having a family together. To see her, glowing, pregnant with his baby—fuck, he wanted that.

  “Enough,” he said, gently giving her hair a tug. He pulled his prick out, lowering his mouth to hers for a bruising kiss. Heat and the taste of her exploded on his tongue.

  Caleb then moved to position himself behind her and rubbed his dick over her pussy lips, smearing it with his pre-cum. All his, he thought, gripping the globes of her heart-shaped ass and giving them a playful smack. She jumped, whimpering when he slid inside her, slow and steady.

  Liliana gripped the grass as he buried his way to the hilt. With each thrust, he picked up speed, making sure his dick brushed against her clit every single time. In moments, he reduced them both to panting, needy messes. The more he spent time with her, the more his need intensified.

  It wasn’t just about the chemistry or amazing sex between them. They’d only begun getting to know each other for a few days, but already, she’d brought him a gift. Nights he had her sweet body tucked next to his, Liliana seemed capable of warding all his nightmares away.

  Caleb went deep and deeper. “Touch yourself,” he commanded, balls tightening against his body at the sight of her, pushing her hands between her legs and stroking that swollen pink bud.

  Groaning, he tightened his hold on her hips, changing his angle. His next push made her arch her back. She whimpered as he took her faster, harder.

  “Please,” she uttered the magic word.

  He reached between her legs and took over rubbing her clit. She cried out at his next thrust, and she came, inner pussy muscles clenching his dick. Hearing her reach climax triggered his own. The pressure building inside him burst, and every tense muscle in his body relaxed. The forest fell away from his line of sight as he emptied his jizz inside her after a few pumps.

  Caleb collapsed on the grass, using the tree behind him for support, and brought Liliana against his chest. He grabbed the wet wipes she’d brought with her and cleaned them both up. She reached for his fingers and shut her eyes, a small smile on her lips. She reminded him of a self-satisfied kitten who got what she wanted.

  He hugged her tighter. Liliana didn’t protest, merely embracing him back. Caleb thought he could wait forever, but if they kept meeting like this, one day he might just decide to spirit her away. His need and selfishness clashed with doing the decent thing. Caleb inhaled the scent of her hair.

  “Thank you for bringing me here.” She finally spoke. “I love it.”

  “I’ll take you here as many times as you want. Fuck, Liliana. I’d give you the world if I can.”

  “I’m sorry,” she blurted. “I know it must be killing you, sneaking around like this, but soon, we’ll be free to do what we want.”

  “Are you sure of that?”

  She twisted head to look at him. “You don’t believe I’ll go through with the promises I made? Caleb, even before you told me you were flying back here, I’d already been making preparations, but being connected to politics makes things complicated. I want a clean break, for Roger and our parents to call off our engagement, and then I, we can get a fresh start.”

  I’m sorry for doubting you, had been the words he wanted to say.

  “Why did you agree to marry him in the first place?”

  Her warmth disappeared from him as she reached for her discarded clothes. Caleb did the same, donning his shirt and jeans, not entirely sure why he picked a fight.

  No, it wasn’t that. Caleb wanted answers, and he intended on hearing them now.

  Seeing her hastily putting on each layer of clothing intensified his guilt. Liliana had never been comfortable with her body growing up, and clothes were her armor, he knew that. He didn’t like that she felt like she needed to hide from him.

  “What’s with all this questioning?” she demanded. “I don’t need this, not right now.”

  She began to turn away, but he grabbed her arm.

  “Don’t walk away from this,” he said, voice harsh. “I need to know why you picked him.”

  She curled her hands to fists. Her face was flushed as she blurted, “Because I was lonely, tired of waiting for a man who chose the army
over me. I get it. The military had become your new family, but I’m your family, too. It seemed like you’d forgotten me, like you were never coming home.”

  Caleb didn’t deny her words. She deserved answers, too. They had issues they couldn’t just ignore.

  His lips felt dry, because the only way to get through the hard days had been to push all his emotions aside and focus on the mission. He gave his therapist nothing, but the doc knew Caleb had plenty of buried anger inside of him. At himself, at the world. He knew that at his core, he was still that pissed-off kid who hated growing up in dysfunctional family.

  “I thought I knew what I wanted, that I wore that uniform for some fucking noble reason,” he said.

  He blew out a breath, finding it hard to continue. Liliana had stopped at least, full attention on him—huge green eyes seemingly seeking understanding, her lips still slightly swollen from their kiss. She’d always been a good listener, had always been there to hear him rant back when they were kids.

  “There’ll always be war, casualties, and no soldier comes back whole.”

  Caleb ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He’d never been the kind of man who talked shit out. A real man kept his secrets buried, his father often told him growing up.

  She didn’t interrupt, merely took tentative steps forward and reached for his hand. Her soothing touch and presence gave him the strength to finish.

  “When you’re neck deep in hostile territory for so long, constantly surrounded by death, it’s easy to forget the value of living. The scars on my back? That explosion had been a wake-up call for me. I didn’t want to die in some unknown place, never seeing you again.”

  “I was weak, Caleb,” she whispered, putting her arms around him, resting her chin on his shoulder. She told him about his message five years ago, when he had no answer for her about what he’d do next.

  Caleb felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Liliana mentioned how her mother took that opportunity to sweep in during her weakest moment, to convince her to move on and eventually maneuver her into an arrangement with Roger.