I felt something.
After so long, I actually felt something.
She wasn’t just another one-night stand. She left me that morning.
Gage and Levi share a look. “She never told us who the father was. She never wanted to speak about it, and I eventually dropped it. I mean, looking at it now, it’s pretty fucking obvious he’s your son. But we never knew you two had seen each other again. Hell, you’d all but fallen off the face of the earth.”
“I wouldn’t have let her go through this alone if I had known.”
“She wasn’t alone,” Levi snaps, his brows furrowing.
“Right, of course,” I amend. I know they have both done a lot for Parker and Giselle. I just wish it had been me doing all those things. Now that I’m here, it will be me doing those things, and I look forward to it.
Gage sighs. “I always wanted to hurt the man that deserted Giselle. I just never thought it would turn out to be one of my best friends. And the man Giselle has loved ever since I can remember.”
I draw in a sharp breath, feeling like someone had punched me. Yep, that comment hit its mark.
“Are you sticking around?” he asks, studying me.
I slowly nod, then take in a deep breath. “I’ll have to go back to work eventually, but yes, I’m not leaving them again.”
“Good,” he replies sharply, nodding his head.
“Is that it?” I ask, wondering when the punches are going to commence.
Gage studies me. “You hurt her once; I don’t think you’re stupid enough to do it twice.”
“And if you are, we will be there to kick your ass and pick up the pieces again,” Levi adds, looking a lot less composed than Gage.
He wants her. Or has he already had her? The thought makes my throat burn, even though I know I don’t have a right to feel that way. I don’t have any rights, really; not until I make amends and prove myself.
I rub the back of my neck. “I need this second chance with them. I’m not going to take it for granted, I can promise you that.”
Gage nods once. “Alright. Want a beer?”
And just like that the air in the room lightens.
“No thanks, but I’ll grab a water,” I say, getting up and walking to their fridge. I pull out a bottle then go and sit back down. I don’t drink anymore, but I try not to draw attention to the fact. It just leads to more questions that I’d rather not answer.
It’s not long before Levi gets restless. “Want to go surf?”
We all stand up and head to the beach.
Chapter Ten
Giselle
As I’m getting ready for my gym session, I hear my ringtone go off.
“Hello,” I say, answering my phone.
“I’m not dropping Justin off this week,” Keira says, not bothering with a hello.
“Why not?” I ask. I know Justin loves spending his Saturdays with Gage, Levi, Parker, and myself.
“Well, I heard that you’re having drama with your baby-daddy, and I just don’t want Justin around that negativity,” she says cattily. Baby-daddy? Is she fucking kidding me?
“So, what you really mean is you’re pissed that Tane didn’t return to you for seconds?”
Silence.
“If I wanted to sleep with him again, I would have,” Keira responded. “I just didn’t want to after you rudely interrupted us.” The beeping on the line indicates she hung up on me.
I shouldn’t be surprised that she could be so selfish and petty, but she shouldn’t pull Justin away from the people he loves, the people who love him, just because she’s a psycho. We’re the only stability he has.
I put my phone back into my gym bag and walk over to the equipment. I punch the boxing bag, working my aggression out and pretending the bag is Keira’s face. Four more jabs, then I start on my kicks.
“I guess this probably isn’t the best time to ask you out on a date, then?” comes a voice from behind me. I turn and face my kickboxing instructor, Greg.
“Really?” I ask, blinking in surprise. I’m sweaty and disgusting right now, red-faced with no make-up, and my hair sticking out in every direction.
Greg smiles. He’s good looking, but he knows it, which kind of puts me off. He works out a lot, and I’ve seen him around the gym flirting with different women. He’s not my type.
Still, I find myself feeling a little flattered, especially since I kind of look like shit right now.
“Why not?” he asks, tilting his head to the side. His eyes peruse my body in a suggestive way, and I clear my throat. Yeah, no thanks.
“Sorry, I’m kind of seeing someone right now,” I straight-out lie. I offer him an apologetic smile, grab my towel, and head home.
After a long shower, I clean the house then pick up Parker from kindy. Tane calls and asks if he can drop in to see Parker. I tell him yes, because what else am I supposed to say? Parker is his son, and it would be selfish of me to keep them apart.
I just hope he becomes a good role model for my son. My biggest fear is that he’ll suddenly decide he no longer wants to play dad, and then Parker is left wondering why he was abandoned and what he did wrong. I can tell Parker loves Tane already. I don’t want Tane to disappoint him. I want him to become a permanent fixture in Parker’s life.
Right on time at six pm, Tane arrives.
“Hey,” I say as I open the door for him. He’s wearing worn jeans and a red t-shirt that fits him to perfection.
“Something smells good,” he says, stepping inside and closing the door. “Thanks for letting me drop by.”
I swallow. “No problem. Parker was asking about you today, anyway.”
“He was?” Tane asks, sounding surprised.
I bob my head. “He was. He’s in the living room, playing with his toys.”
Tane nods and follows behind me. I stop in the doorway and watch Parker as he plays with his toy soldiers. “Do you want to play with him while I finish up dinner?”
“I’d love that,” he replies in a low tone. I nod, force a smile and head back into the kitchen. As I set out the food on the dining table, I can hear their laughter from the living room.
I smile, letting them enjoy their time together for a little while longer before I call them for dinner. After I do, Tane walks into the kitchen with Parker on his shoulders.
“Mum!” Parker calls out, a huge smile plastered on his face. “Look at me.”
“I can see.” I giggle. “Come and eat your dinner.”
“Can I sit next to Daddy?” he asks, wide-eyed.
My eyes dart to Tane, who can’t hide his amazed expression at Parker’s question. I offer him a small smile, which after a few moments he returns. I have never heard him refer to Tane as that before. I never thought I’d see the day when Parker would call Tane his father, and this is a memory I won’t be forgetting.
“Sure, of course you can,” I tell him, giving him a gentle smile.
Tane smiles at me gratefully. Thank you, he mouths.
I nod and sit down at the table. I better get used to this.
“Mum, what time is Justin coming tomorrow?” Parker asks around a mouth of food.
My lips tighten. “He can’t come tomorrow. I think he’s a little busy.”
Or his mum is a selfish bitch who wants your dad, and is now acting like a spoiled child who got her favourite toy taken away.
Tane tilts his head and watches me. “What happened?”
I look at Parker and try to answer. “Keira wasn’t too happy after …”
Tane’s jaw ticks. “You have got to be kidding me.”
I shake my head no.
“I’m sorry Giselle,” he says. “If I’d had any idea that you two were connected …”
He would have found someone else to sleep with?
I lift my shoulder in a shrug. “It’s done. We usually spend every Saturday with Justin, so this is going to suck.”
“I will handle it,” Tane announces, a sharp edge to his tone. I’m sure he will
.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll call Levi, he will handle it for me,” I tell him, placing my fork down on my plate. The air in the room suddenly turns dense.
“I will handle it,” he repeats, looking down at his plate.
Okaaaaayy then.
I don’t know why, but I push. “It’s his sister, I’m sure he can handle the situation better than anyone else.”
Tane’s hands curl into fists on the table. “This is my family, and I will take care of it, no one else.”
I raise an eyebrow, wanting to say something, but not wanting to start a fight with Parker present.
Tane doesn’t look up at me to see my reaction. I sigh, pick up my fork and continue to eat.
“I want to play with Justin,” Parker speaks up into the silence.
“Justin will come over to play. Don’t worry, Parker,” Tane says in a calm tone.
“Okay,” Parker replies, grinning widely.
We eat the rest of the meal in silence.
“Thanks for dinner,” Tane says when he’s finished. “I’ll clean up since you cooked.”
“It’s okay—” I try to protest, but he starts collecting the plates and taking them to the kitchen. He empties the plates, rinses them, and loads them into the dishwasher, then he wipes down the counter and puts the rest of the food away.
I can’t help but find it strange to see Tane Miller cleaning my kitchen while I sit at the table with our son. I mean, seventeen-year-old me would have been fantasising about this very moment … I guess she just wouldn’t have considered all the baggage and complications that the fantasy would come with.
“I’ll give Parker a bath,” I say, standing up.
”I’ll give him a bath. Why don’t you relax for a little while?”
“Tane—”
“I have a lot of making up to do. Can’t you just let me feel useful for a little while? Please?”
“Well, when you put it like that …” I mumble.
His green eyes sparkle. “Come on, Parker, let’s give you a bath and get you ready for bed.”
Parker slides off the chair and follows behind his father.
“His towel and pyjamas are hanging on his door,” I call out.
Looks like this co-parenting thing isn’t going so bad after all.
*****
Tane
Time to handle this shit. The next day I pick up my phone, ready to sort this whole situation out.
I dial her number after I get it from Giselle. It rings three times before she answers.
“Hello,” she says.
“Keira, it’s me, Tane, from the other—”
“Oh, hey, Tane,” she says, cutting me off. “I was wondering when you’d call.” I’m guessing that saccharine tone was supposed to come across as seductive, but it makes me grind my teeth in annoyance. When I met her at a bar and she’d suggested we go back to her place, I’d thought why the hell not?
I’d take it back if I could.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Look, I had no idea you were Levi’s sister and that you knew Giselle,” I start off by saying. I try to continue but she cuts me off again.
“Well, I did tell you I was Levi’s sister, but I guess you were preoccupied.” Her voice goes low and I want to laugh at her suggestive tone. I wasn’t preoccupied; I was bored.
“Anyway, I’m really sorry for leading you on or whatever, and I hope we can be friends,” I say. I don’t really mean it, but I figure I could try for Parker. I know he loves Justin.
“Friends?” she asks incredulously.
“Giselle told me you wouldn’t let Justin hang out with them, and I was hoping you’d change your mind,” I say, hating having to suck up to her.
“No, I don’t think so. I don’t want Giselle’s negative energy to affect Justin.” What the fuck does that even mean?
“Parker really misses Justin, and I bet Justin feels the same.” The silence tells me that it’s true. “And look, it keeps your Saturdays free to go out and do your own thing. I bet you could use the break.” I doubt she puts one-tenth of the effort into raising her son as Giselle does, but I need to make this better.
“It is tiring,” she admits. “Okay, fine. But if I hear of anything shady happening, the play dates end.”
“Everything will be fine, Keira,” I say soothingly. “Thank you.”
“So, are we going to hook up again?” she asks. The suddenness with which she changes the subject surprises me.
“No,” I say. “Just friends.”
I want to tell her no way in hell, because I’m in love with Giselle, and I won’t be touching anyone else. But then she will probably retract letting Justin come over.
“Friends can fuck,” she says bluntly. I cringe.
“Not these friends,” I say. “I gotta go, thanks. I’ll tell Giselle to pick Justin up on Saturday.” I hang up, not able to endure that woman’s tenacity any longer.
Chapter Eleven
One month later
Giselle
I puff out a sigh as he keeps staring at me. “Excuse me.”
He doesn’t move. “Just one date.”
I purse my lips and lift my face to look at him properly. Not bad looking, maybe thirty. This is the third time he’s asked me out. He seems nice, but his persistence is a bit grating.
“I’m sorry,” I reply, shaking my head, embarrassment heating my cheeks. A few people are looking at our exchange.
“Are you taken?” he asks, looking at my hand. For a ring, maybe? I want to laugh. My ring finger has seen less action than a nun.
“No, I’m not taken. But I’m not looking to date anyone right now,” I lie, trying to get him off my back. I force a smile and try to walk past him when he gently holds my wrist. Not in an aggressive way, but still, he has no right touching me. I tug my wrist out of his hold, and put my hand up.
“I’m sorry, but the answer is no,” I tell him in a stern tone. He needs to know I’m not playing any games, trying to act hard-to-get, or whatever. And no means no.
“Do we have a problem here?” an ice-cold voice comes from behind me.
Tane.
I spin to him and stare wide-eyed as he storms towards me in a few quick steps. “You okay?”
I nod, but take a step closer to him. An action Tane notices.
“I suggest you keep your hands to yourself,” Tane tells the man, eyes narrowed on him.
The man shrugs, taking in Tane’s size and demeanour. “Can’t blame a man for trying.”
“Well, try again and see what happens,” Tane threatens, staring the man down. The guy nods and leaves the library.
Tane spins to me. “I don’t like you being here alone.”
I pull in a breath. “I’m not here alone, there’s another librarian somewhere around the shelves.”
“Giselle …”
“What?”
“I don’t like it, is what,” he growls, crossing his arms over his chest.
“It’s a library, Tane,” I say monotonously, “not a male prison.”
“What did he want?”
“A date.”
His eyebrows rise. “And you said …”
My eyes narrow slightly at his tone. “I said no, considering he was accosting me. What the hell do you think I said?”
Did it seem like I was interested? Was me pulling my hand away not enough of a reaction for him?
He sighs. “I’m sorry, I’m just angry. I didn’t like seeing him touch you.”
I rub my wrist. “Well learn to control it. What are you doing here anyway?”
“I thought I’d pick you up and take you out for dinner,” he says, looking at me hopefully.
“Why are we having dinner?” I ask, nibbling on my lower lip.
“I thought we could talk. Parker is with Gage,” he replies, pale-green eyes watching, dropping to my lips.
Alone-time with Tane is a bad idea.
I can’t get involved with him that way, and it’s hard being around him and
having to fight my feelings. The way we have things now is perfect for all of those involved. Parker gets to see his dad and spend time with both of us, and I get to keep my heart intact. In some ways I trust Tane, and in other ways I don’t trust him at all. I’m confused. All I know is that things have to stay as they are now.
Uncomplicated.
Safe.
“Look, Tane, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I say.
“Why not?” he asks.
“Ummmm,” I mutter, trying to think of an excuse.
“It’s just dinner, Giselle,” Tane says softly, looking down.
Oh hell.
“Okay, dinner sounds good,” I reply, mustering a smile. I never want to see him upset. Surely there’s a middle ground?
“What time are you finished?” he asks, shifting his feet.
I glance at the clock on the wall. “In about thirty minutes. Do you want to sit here and wait?”
“Yeah,” he replies, scanning the library. “I’ll read something.”
I grin. “Okay.”
He loves reading, maybe even more than I do. He goes and browses the shelves while I finish up with my work.
“You can head home. I’ll close up,” Kate, my co-worker, says.
My gaze darts to Tane who is reading DJing for Dummies. I laugh when he flashes me a cheeky look.
I smile widely as I reply, “That would be great, thanks Kate.”
I walk over to Tane and tilt my head to the side. “I’m pretty sure you already know that.”
He laughs, a smooth sound, and closes the book. “I was curious about what it said. Plus, you’re the one who suggested them for me.”
“Smartass.” I hold my hand out. “Want me to put it away?”
He stands. “It’s okay, I can do it.”
I put on my red cardigan as he returns the book.
“Where are we going?” I ask as we walk to my car. “I’ll follow you.”
He frowns like he doesn’t like that idea but doesn’t push me on it. “I thought we could try out that new place on William Street. The Italian one.”
Spin My Love Page 7
