"You can move in today. Do you need my help to get your stuff?"
Larissa got to her feet and paced around the patio. Peter was still playing by the soccer net Jake had set up. Larissa watched her son for a few minutes, then turned back to him. "Not today. Let me think about this."
Jake moved near to her. She crossed her arms over her chest and stepped back from him. What was she afraid of? "What's to think about? No sex and we'll live here."
She bit her lip. "For how long?"
Jake shrugged. His experience with relationships said that most didn't last longer than it took to get your stuff settled, but Peter guaranteed they'd be together longer. "I don't know. Why?"
"What if one of us falls in love with someone else?" Larissa asked. The wind caught a strand of her hair, which brushed across her face. Larissa reached up and tucked it behind her ear.
Love was the one thing he'd never really found with any woman. It seemed elusive to him somehow. He wondered sometimes if love and happiness were going to be forever out of his reach. He was jaded enough to know that he wasn't going to find love through the intense desire that he felt for Larissa. "I doubt that would happen."
"Why not?" she asked, holding herself tighter while she waited for his answer.
He didn't like the barrier she'd built between them. Didn't like that she was comforting herself and that she was still hiding something from him. So he said the one thing sure to needle her. He remembered her soft heart and belief in happily-ever-after.
"Because love is part of the game that people play when they are searching for themselves. We're both secure in our place in the world."
She fisted her hands and put them on her hips. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
This was the Larissa he remembered. Eyes shooting sparks when he pushed her buttons. She'd been so sure she was a plain Jane who no jock would ever look at twice. But she'd caught his eye and held it longer than any of her peers back then. "Surely, you don't believe in love?"
"Of course I do. And I'm raising our son to believe in it, too," she said, gesturing to Peter.
"You're just preparing him for heartache."
"Is that what love means to you?" she asked. Despite her argument, he didn't think she believed in love, either. Because any woman who had a romantic look on life would have contacted her baby's father.
He didn't like the direction this conversation was taking. "I don't know what love means to me. I can honestly say I've never really experienced it. Have you?"
"No."
"I don't think we'll have a problem with either of us falling in love. You're down-to-earth and so am I."
"I don't want to be a burden to you, Jake. I don't want to wake up one morning and find out you don't want us anymore."
"Why would that happen? I don't have time for anything else right now. D&D's keeps me busy and I'm not dating anyone."
"Right now, but you change women as often as you change your pants."
"That's not true. I haven't been with a woman in the last year and a half."
"Sure, you haven't."
"Believe what you want but I've never lied to you."
"Low blow."
"The truth hurts."
"I don't think this will work. Maybe I should take Jake and leave Savannah."
"You can leave if you want to, but you're not taking my son." Jake wasn't going to waste a single day of his time with Peter now that he knew he had a son. His dad, who'd always been busy with the shipping company, had made time for family. He wanted the opportunity to do the same.
She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands and then looked at him. He knew this was hard on her and he sympathized with her to a certain extent but they wouldn't be in this predicament now if she'd come to him when she'd first found out she was pregnant. "I don't know what to do. But I don't want to make things worse than they are now."
"I'll take care of everything for you."
"I'm not looking for a hero."
"Good, because I'm not much of one," he said. He'd always known his own faults.
He wanted to reach out and touch her. To take her in his arms and promise he'd shoulder her burdens, but he knew she wouldn't accept that. "Trust me on this, Rissa. I'll take care of everything."
"You aren't doing this for revenge, are you?"
"I don't follow."
"You know, make me move in here and then … do something to keep Peter and kick me out?"
"That's a nice opinion you have of me."
"Well, I wouldn't blame you if you tried it."
"You're important to Peter," he said. Larissa was the center of Peter's world and his son was the most important person to consider.
"People are going to say I trapped you."
"Let them talk. Anyone who knows you won't believe it."
"It's easy for you to say."
"Nothing about this is easy for me."
"I know. So we'd live with you until your uncle's campaign is over? Then the media scrutiny around your family will die down and we can go back to our normal lives."
"I'm not going to disappear after this reporter moves on to her next juicy topic." He realized the words were true as he said them. Larissa and Peter were his responsibility now and forever. And whether she lived with him or not, he'd always be involved in their lives. And that felt right to him deep in his soul.
"Promise?" The word was hardly out before Larissa bit her lip wishing she could take it back.
Jake closed the gap between them and cupped her face in his big hands. His brown eyes more serious than she'd ever seen them before, he leaned close to her. There were hidden depths to this man she'd scarcely explored.
She wondered what he'd do if she turned the tables on him—if she held his face in her hands and looked down on him with something like tenderness.
"I promise."
She shivered. This was the secret dream she'd harbored since she was a young girl. That she'd find a man, a big, strong, attractive man who'd make her feel that she was the center of his world. But her dream had always been a bittersweet one, because time and experience had taught her that being the center of any man's world was a fleeting thing.
"Oh, Jake, don't say things you don't mean."
"Woman, I don't know why you have such a low opinion of me."
"I don't. It's myself I don't trust."
"What's not to trust?"
"You. Saying things that I'll take to mean something you aren't feeling."
"This isn't the love thing again, is it?"
"Don't be flip."
"I can't help it. You make me want to be a better man than I know I can be."
She was flattered that he thought she had any power over him. And saddened to realize that Jake thought he wasn't a great man to begin with. "Really?"
"Really."
"There you go again, making me believe you could be my knight in shining armor," she said, feeling her control shatter.
"I thought we both agreed I was no hero."
"When you touch me I can't think of anything but you."
"Rissa," he said. Lowering his mouth to hers, he brushed his lips back and forth over her own. It was a simple, gentle kiss, but it shook the moorings of everything she believed about herself.
She brought her hands to his shoulders, holding on to him for balance in a world that was suddenly spinning further and further out of her control. He traced the shape of her mouth with his tongue, running it over the closed seam of her lips. She knew what he wanted—what they both wanted. She opened her mouth on a sigh. And he teased her with his tongue. Teased her by giving her a hint of what was yet to come.
She leaned into him, resting against his strong body. She felt safe and in danger at the same time. Her breasts were heavy and she threw back her shoulders, rubbing their tips against him. He moaned deep in his throat, the sound feral and arousing.
Sliding his hands down her neck and then around to her back, his hold on her changed. He traced
the line of her spine with his fingertips and she shuddered. She felt him tremble, too.
Jake pulled her more firmly against his body. His groin nestled into the notch at her thighs, her legs turned to jelly. She sank against him, totally caught up in his embrace. Jake supported her completely with one hand on her backside and the other behind her neck.
She moaned deep in her throat, tunneling her fingers through his hair to try to control their embrace. Or to at least be an active participant in it. He rubbed his tongue over hers and then pulled back.
Watching her intently, she couldn't help but wonder why she'd stayed away so long. But she knew the answer—because sanity was hard to come by and Jake threatened hers. She pulled away, tripping over her own feet in her hurry to put some distance between them.
Jake steadied her with one hand. His touch was warm but not soothing against her arm. She wanted to say the heck with her reservations and just indulge herself in a red-hot affair with this man. But there were too many barriers between them. Not the least of which was a little boy who deserved a happier childhood than Larissa had experienced.
She'd promised herself to protect Peter. No matter what the cost to her. Peter hadn't asked to be born and it was up to her make sure he had the best life had to offer. And Jake, for all his playboy ways, seemed genuinely interested in being a father to his son.
She knew she couldn't keep Jake and Peter apart. She'd have to make sure that Peter never knew the circumstances that had brought Jake and her together. If things didn't work out between her and Jake, she didn't want Peter to feel it was his fault.
"Are you sure about the platonic part of this relationship?" Jake asked.
"You're the one who suggested it," she said. More than ever, she thought. Her blood was racing through her body. Her nipples were beaded and aching for his touch. And her center was wet with desire for him. She wanted to take his hand and lead him into the house where they could be alone. Only the knowledge that her son was a few feet away kept her from taking such an ill-advised action.
"Rissa?" he asked, running his finger down the side of her face.
"Yes," she said. She had to get out of this place. Figure out what was going on in her life and make a plan to protect herself from the vulnerability that Jake brought out in her.
He smirked. "Whatever you say."
She knew he could make her eat her words, just prayed that he wouldn't.
"Mama, can I have some juice?" Peter asked, racing over to them.
"It's may I, sweetie," Larissa said.
"May I have some juice?"
"Sure," she said, going into the kitchen to her oversize bag and pulling out a juice box. She paused in the doorway before returning to the patio. Jake and Peter were in front of the goal net again and this time Jake was setting himself up as goalie. She watched the two of them together and realized she wasn't the only one who'd been missing a man in her life. No matter the cost to herself, she had to make this new arrangement with Jake work out. For Peter's sake.
* * *
"Here's your juice, Peter," Larissa said from the patio.
Jake ruffled Peter's hair, lifting up the boy to carry him back to the patio. It was the first time he'd held his son's small body. A surge of protectiveness roared through him.
This was his son. Peter rested his head on his shoulder and Jake met Larissa's gaze. Something passed between them and he knew she knew what he felt.
"We should get going. Peter needs a nap."
"I'll carry him out to your car. When will you be back?"
"I have to work this afternoon. I won't have time to get our stuff together until after I pick Peter up at the sitter's."
"Can he stay with me?" Jake asked.
"I … I don't know if he would. He doesn't really know you."
"I'm the boy's father. Isn't it time he got to know me?"
"Yes, it is. But watching him takes a lot of patience and attention."
"What do you say, sport?" Jake asked Peter. "Want to stay with me while your mom's at work."
"Are you my dad?" Peter asked.
"I am."
Peter looked at his mom and Larissa took a deep breath and nodded. "It's okay with me, sweetie."
"Can we play soccer some more?"
"After you take a nap," Larissa said.
"Okay, I'll stay with you."
Larissa gathered her things and Jake carried Peter out to her car. She buckled him in the car seat and put Mr. Bear and his blanket around his face.
Jake stood waiting by the car when she turned around. "I'm not due at work until three. I'll bring Peter by around two-thirty."
"Why don't I come to your place for lunch? I can help you pack up your stuff. Peter can help me bring your stuff back here."
"Okay. Are you sure about this living together thing?"
"Yes. I have to do it because I'd feel like less than a man If I didn't."
"Why don't you think about it? I couldn't bear it if you had regrets."
"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't positive this was the best course of action. Now that I know I have a son, nothing less than living under the same roof will satisfy me."
"Somehow I knew you'd feel that way."
"Knew it this morning or when you first discovered you were pregnant?" he asked.
He still wanted to know why she hadn't come to him to begin with. He would have done the honorable thing then. Even though she'd said she'd wanted to manage motherhood on her own, Larissa wasn't one of those staunch feminists. Sure she'd believed women deserved equal pay and equal opportunity, but she'd always had a sort of dreamy vision of what family life should be.
A vision that included a mother and father and two kids. A cute little cottage on the river. A big yard with room for soccer practice and a dock to fish from. Somehow his vision and hers had blended together in the early-morning hours when they'd talked about the future.
She'd always made him want to talk about the future and maybe he realized that was why her answer now was so important. He wanted to believe that she'd known he would have done the honorable thing three years ago, not because of what society would say, but because of the woman she was.
"I've always known it," she said, quietly.
Without thinking, he reached out and pulled her close in a bear hug. He held her tightly to him and knew deep in his soul he wasn't letting this woman or their son walk out of his life. "I hope this isn't a mistake."
Jake let her go. "It's what's best for Peter. So are you going to stop arguing and move in with me?"
She stared at him. Her eyes were wide and questioning, still holding secrets that he wondered if he'd ever uncover. "I will."
Satisfaction flowed through him. She belonged to him and so did their son. The sooner he had them under his roof the more settled he'd feel. "Good."
She crossed her arms over her chest again and he realized she was trying to put a barrier between them. She didn't realize that running only made him want to chase her. And catch her. His mind filled with images of what he'd do when he caught her. When he coaxed her willingly to his bed.
"I'm going to call Nicola, Uncle Abe's PR person and advise her of this current situation. My folks are going to want to meet their grandson. So after you get off work tonight, we'll head over there, if that's okay with you."
"I'm not sure I want to meet your parents."
"Why not?"
"They're bound to be mad at me."
"They're nicer than I am."
She hadn't even considered the family that Peter would now call his own. Her own dad hadn't spoken to her since she was six and her mom had died during her first year of college, so he'd never had any grandparents. "I doubt that."
"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of everything. Trust me," Jake said.
"You keep saying that."
"I'm going to continue to until you finally believe in me."
"I wish I could, but it's not that easy."
"What's not?"
"Trusting a man."
"I'm not just any man. I'm the father of your child."
"I know," she said. He couldn't know that made it even harder for her to trust him.
* * *
Four
« ^ »
After Larissa and Peter left, Jake called his lawyer and had a lengthy conversation to put in motion a bid for custody of Peter. The first thing Marcus had suggested was a paternity test to give them a legal leg to stand on. Jake didn't doubt that Peter was his son. He knew Larissa. And he'd looked into his son's eyes. Peter was his. But he liked the idea of having the documentation to prove it.
Nicola had been out of the office so Jake had left a message for her to call him. Then he drove to Larissa's house. Riverside was a nice suburb of Savannah and as he neared Larissa's house he realized she wasn't just eking out a living. She'd made a life for herself and their son that was comfortable.
He felt a little bad about the plan he had put into motion with Marcus. But he wasn't going to give up his son now that he'd found out about him. Being a father felt right deep in his soul and if he had a few doubts that he wouldn't be up to the job, he'd get over them. There had never been anything he couldn't achieve when he put his mind to it. Except for gaining his father's respect.
Mindful that Larissa said she was going to give Peter a nap, Jake avoided the front door and walked around to the backyard. As he approached the side of the house he heard soft Asian music playing. He rounded the corner to the back of the house and found Larissa lying on a yoga mat in a shady area.
He watched her change poses. He admired her grace and style. But from his position he could also see her cleavage and any altruistic thoughts he had were banished by the rush of desire.
He waited until she finished her routine by sitting in a meditative pose. She looked peaceful and serene—untouchable. And she evoked in him a savageness he'd always tried to tamp down and hide.
Clearing his throat, he climbed the steps of the deck. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him. There were beads of perspiration on her neck and chest. His first impulse was to lick them from her skin. His eyes narrowed. His breathing changed and he felt arousal spread throughout his body. Damn. This reaction to her didn't fit into his well-ordered plans for Larissa.
SIN CITY WEDDING Page 3
