by Emma Grey
‘What did you say?’ they ask in unison.
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ he asks. ‘Because suddenly I’m not.’
He’s not?
A little part of her is instantly crushed, even though it has no right to be! ‘You’re not?’
‘Please don’t be offended, Kat. This is not about you. It’s not even about me. I wouldn’t use that line on you anyway. I like you so much.’
‘Who is it about, then?’ she asks.
‘I think you know . . .’
She’s actually not as clear about this as he seems to think. Is he talking about Sarah? Or Angus?
‘Both,’ he confirms, reading her mind.
‘I thought you and Sarah were only mates . . .’
‘We are. At least, we thought so. I don’t know how to say this, Kat, but I want to be honest. I spent years getting over Sarah as a teenager and came to accept that she didn’t feel the same way about me. I’d moved on, or so I thought. You coming on the scene really shook everything up. I’ve never felt close to the way I feel about you with any other girl before. Except Sarah, but I never thought I’d have a chance with her. I’d given up on her in that way. It wasn’t until she saw how I felt about you that she realised . . . Because I fell for you. Hard.’
Kat tries to take in this information. She’s some sort of catalyst for Joel and Sarah? For their coming together? How can this be good?
‘I really didn’t mean to hurt you,’ he clarifies. ‘I haven’t even mentioned this to her yet. I just think I probably owe her a chance to see if there’s really something there after all these years.’
Kat tries to digest what’s happening. Is he dumping her?
‘Don’t tell me there’s nothing between you and Angus,’ he says. ‘It’s obvious there is. Anyone could see it.’
She exhales, deeply. ‘I don’t know . . .’
They sit on a bench, high on the cliff, watching the waves roll in. She realises she’s single again. Is this the shortest relationship in history? What’s wrong with her? First, Angus kisses her then immediately backs right off. Then Joel asks her out and breaks up with her about three seconds into their first date.
‘What’s wrong with me?’ she asks.
He laughs. ‘Nothing! The complete opposite! Honestly, if it wasn’t for this weird situation with Sarah . . .’ He pauses. ‘Kat, there’s something about you . . . I can’t even articulate what it is. I love it. I’ll bet Angus loves it, too.’
Kat lowers her eyes. The problem is, neither Joel nor Angus seems to love it enough.
Chapter 47
‘You free tonight?’ Kat texts Lucy. ‘I have 2x backstage passes for Unrequited.’
She expects the phone to practically explode with the speed of Lucy’s reply, but it doesn’t. Five minutes pass. Ten. Half an hour goes by.
Nothing.
Kat feels sick. This is worse than Angus cooling off. It’s worse than Joel dumping her for Sarah.
This is Lucy. Her best friend. The person she secretly shaved her legs with for the first time when they were eleven. The person she bought her first padded bra with in Best & Less. Her mum made her return it to the shop afterwards because she didn’t approve of the padding, which was beyond embarrassing. Lucy came with her then, too, laughing hysterically from behind a rack of underwear while Kat stammered her way through the returns process, served by none other than a red-faced teenage boy.
Lucy’s the one who sat outside her piano exams for moral support. The person who made Kat birthday cakes every single year and brought them to school on the bus, even if they got squashed. The one she bawled with when Ezra was shot in Pretty Little Liars. The one she panics with before maths tests. The one who has been there for her, every single step of the way, through the most important things that have ever happened to her.
Except for this. And that’s been Kat’s fault.
She calls the number. No answer.
A feeling of dread settles in. She’s got to fix this. But how?
An hour later, she’s sitting on a swing seat on Lucy’s front verandah, waiting for someone to get home. It’s the same seat she and Lucy have sat in for hours and hours and hours over the last few years, talking, laughing . . . eating their body weight in dried mango. Every time it swings forward, it squeaks. Every so often, Lucy’s dad can’t stand the squeaking for another second and they have to sit still for a while, until they inevitably start rocking back and forth, then they’re lectured to stop again.
The swing seat isn’t the same on her own.
Eventually, a car pulls into the driveway and Lucy’s whole family gets out. Lucy looks up, sees Kat on the verandah and smiles widely, then rushes up and gives her a hug. ‘You’re here! Oh, Kat! So much has happened! I have so much to tell you!’
‘Lucy, I need to talk to you first. I just need to say how sorry I am . . .’
‘Oh, it’s okay! Honestly! She got the all-clear this morning!’
The all-clear? What’s she talking about?
‘The results came in. It was benign. She’s going to be fine. She doesn’t have cancer!’
‘What? Who doesn’t?’
Lucy’s confused. ‘I thought you were talking about my mum. I thought you must have heard. She’s had a cancer scare.’
Kat sits down hard on the swing seat. It makes a really loud squeaking noise, but Lucy’s dad doesn’t care. He just laughs. ‘Hey, Kat! Good to see you. We’ve missed you lately.’
Lucy’s parents go inside, along with her little brother. Kat sits there, trying to digest the fact that she’s officially the Worst Friend In The World. ‘I’m so sorry . . .’ she starts again. ‘I don’t know where I’ve been. I mean, I do know, but I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.’
Lucy sits down beside her. ‘To be honest, it has been hard. I’ve really wanted to talk to you.’
‘What kind of friend am I? You must hate me.’
‘Of course I don’t hate you! I was getting a bit mad at you, but I knew you must have been going through something big, to be that distracted.’
You could say that. But it’s still no excuse.
‘Do you want to stay over tonight?’ Lucy asks. ‘My parents are so ecstatic, I think you could stay for a month!’
‘I could. Mum’s still away and the twins are with my grandparents. I’m sure they’d be okay with me staying, but Lucy — didn’t you get my text? About tonight?’
She shakes her head. ‘We just went out for a posh lunch to celebrate. They made me leave my phone at home. It was literally impossible . . .’
‘And yet you seem to have managed it. Go, check your phone.’
Lucy goes inside and within about sixty seconds is screaming the house down. ‘OHMYGOD! KAT!’ She comes hurtling through the front door and jumps up and down on the verandah, holding Kat’s hands, single-handedly creating a new definition of OTT.
‘Is this a joke? Tell me it’s not a joke, Kat!’
‘I wouldn’t joke about Unrequited.’
‘Yes you would. You always do!’
‘Yeah, that was before . . .’
‘Before what? What’s going on?’
Kat doesn’t know where to start and Lucy tells her to start with how she got her hands on these tickets. But when Kat tells her Angus organised it after she met up with him this morning, Lucy freaks out even more and tells her to stop and start at the beginning. And not to leave out a single detail.
Which she doesn’t.
Chapter 48
They’re in Lucy’s bedroom giving the topic the attention it deserves, madly getting ready. Kat’s mind drifts to the last time she went to an Unrequited concert and how she simply walked out of the house, dressed as she was. Done. Yet, he still picked her out of that crowd. This time, Lucy insists on doing things properly, starting with straightening Kat’s hair and letting her borrow anything at all in Lucy’s wardrobe, since her own is like a shrine to last century’s fashion with nothing remotely worthy of this occasion.
‘What about this?’ Lucy asks, holding up a short, floral dress.
‘No.’
‘This?’
‘No.’
‘How about this one?’
‘No.’
‘Come on, Kat — surely something here appeals to you! What about this?’ Lucy plunges into the pit of her wardrobe and pulls out the pair of galaxy leggings she wore in Year Seven.
Kat explodes laughing. ‘We thought we were it back then!’
‘Yeah! And now you’re about to be it, Kat!’
Kat doesn’t want to think about that.
‘Just let me have a look through, Lucy. They all look great on you. I just don’t think they’re “me”.’ She stands at the wardrobe, shunting coat hangers along the clothes rail, looking for something, anything, she’d feel comfortable in. Too attention-seeking. Too short. Too bright. Everything Lucy can pull off and look fabulous in. And then . . . ‘What’s this?’
Lucy squeals. ‘That was my mum’s! PERFECT! Try it on!’
When Kat emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later, her long dark hair is out, and — thanks to Lucy — under control for once. It’s a simple, short antique white lace dress. Silver high-heeled sandals. A couple of silver bangles. Lucy smiles. ‘This is it. This is so you.’
And even if it is her, she’s panicking when the longest, sleekest, shiniest black car she’s ever seen, picks them up. Driving to the stadium, people stare at the tinted windows as they pass. It’s everything Kat imagined it to be. Then the car is let through the backstage entrance, drives down the ramp and parks right beside the Unrequited trailer.
There’s a barrage of flashes going off. Kat hopes her dress isn’t too short as she scrambles to get out of the limo even halfway elegantly, and rushes inside, attempting not to be noticed. Lucy doesn’t rush so much. She’s loving it! The crowd of screaming girls goes crazy, even though they have no clue what they’re going crazy about.
Once inside, someone in a black T-shirt and holding a clipboard shows them to the green room. Kat is shaking with nerves, and she’s not even performing tonight. Lucy can’t stop smiling and jumping around. Kat tells her to stop Fangirling.
Eventually the door opens. Reuben walks in — fresh clothes, blond hair perfect — looks at the girls, smiles and says, ‘Kat, good to meet you properly. Angus is in a media interview and asked me to come and make sure you’re both okay. He told me to tell you he’ll see you after the show. I’m glad you could come too, Lucy. Have fun!’
Then he leaves. Lucy stares at Kat as if she’s just descended from another planet.
‘You’re so calm!’ she marvels.
‘They’re just normal boys.’
‘Um, no they’re not!’
Kat knows she’s never going to win this argument, so she doesn’t try. Another clipboard-holder comes in and takes them to a spot just offstage where they can watch the concert up-close. They can see part of the audience but with the lighting as it is, the audience can’t see them. They’re so close to the stage, they have an almost clear view of it. They can even see the markings on the floor where the band members will stand.
It’s loud. Every slight movement backstage causes an eruption of noise. Then finally, finally, the lights dim. The screaming escalates. Unrequited appear in the wings. THE Unrequited, right near Kat and Lucy, ready to go on.
Angus looks directly at her, wearing an expression she can’t read. Maybe he’s psyched for the performance. Maybe he’s mad at her . . .
Chapter 49
Angus
How the hell is he supposed to concentrate now? When he invited Kat to come and watch the concert, he didn’t expect . . .
‘Angus! FOCUS!’ a voice yells in his earpiece and he snaps out of it, or tries to, but with her standing there in that dress, with that hair . . .
‘ANGUS!’
The music bursts to life and they’re on. One hundred per cent on. If he can just avoid looking in her direction, he might almost make it through this. Thankfully he knows the lyrics backwards. He wrote half of them himself — not that this helps clear the haziness in his brain at the sight of her standing in the wings, looking like that, watching him . . .
Suddenly, he’s nervous. Nervous in the way he used to be the first few times they performed to big audiences, and he was terrified he’d trip up. Except this time, he’s terrified he’ll mess up in front of her. Just like that, he knows he wants to impress her. He needs to impress her, like he needs to breathe. It’s as if there’s no one else in the audience. No one else in the room except Angus and the girl he’s increasingly realising he’s . . .
Losing my mind, baby, loving your smile
Let me come round, baby, stay for a while.
The screaming!
Loving your look, baby, loving your mind
You’re all I know, you are my one-track mind . . .
The crowd goes WILD.
It’s Zach’s part now. Angus moves across the stage and can’t help glancing over at Kat, when he should be glancing at the audience and making each of them feel like the only girl in the world. Impossible to pull that off now, with the only girl in the world just metres away, dancing like that.
He’d love to think she’s moving that way for him, but he knows Kat better than that. It’s for her. He actually stops and stares for a few seconds before remembering he’s ONSTAGE at an UNREQUITED CONCERT and MUST snap out of this! Oh, God. He’s really falling in . . .
Kat
She’s loving it, in a way she never thought she would. He’s mind-blowingly good. They’re all mind-blowingly good, and the energy is infectious. It’s like she’s finally let go of the inhibitions she’s been holding onto her entire life. Or, at least, since her dad died and unrestrained enjoyment of music went with him.
There’s nothing holding her back now. When Angus looks her way — when he really stops and looks at her — she knows she’s not just an Unrequited Fangirl.
She is THE Unrequited Fangirl.
Seriously. She wants the T-shirts. She wants the stick-on nails. She wants the posters and programs and badges and a flag, and back copies of all the magazines they’ve been in, the DVDs — the lot. She’s seventeen, though, so maybe she’ll stick with the DVDs and a T-shirt. Which she’ll wear to bed.
Kat takes a deep breath. She really gets them now. They know exactly what they’re doing — and who they’re doing it for. And they do it brilliantly.
‘Hello, SYDNEY!’ Xavier yells, and Angus waves the noise up with his hands. ‘Second-last concert tonight! Are you going to miss us?’
Screaming.
‘We’re going to miss you, too!’
More screaming.
‘Who wants to have fun tonight?’
Screaming, screaming, screaming.
Angus
They’re on the second stage when it happens. Girls are waving at him. Taking photos on their phones. Yelling his name. It’s all he can do to not turn around and check Kat’s still there. Is she impressed yet? Ironic that he should be feeling so insecure right now — that he should worry about what she thinks of him, when there’s so much adoration from everyone else in the stadium.
But she’s not like these girls. He doesn’t know where he stands with her now — is she with Joel or isn’t she? Is she still angry at him? Has he lost her?
‘Now who’s ready for a BIG SURPRISE?’ Zach yells into the mic. Angus wonders what the hell he’s missed. Did they talk about a surprise? He knows he hasn’t been paying attention lately but surely his memory isn’t this bad. He risks a glance at Reuben, who just raises his eyebrows.
‘Shhh . . .’ Zach whispers at the audience. ‘Nobody knows about this yet, but one of us has been working on something special. And he’s going to need someone to help him with it . . .’
What is Zach talking about? Is this yet another in a stupidly long line of practical jokes?
Angus finds himself standing in a lone floodlight on the second stage. The front stage
lights swirl madly and focus on a grand piano, which glides out to centre stage. Behind it, the familiar silhouette of Cassidy Moore is suddenly backlit against a deep blue that accentuates the glitter in her hair. What is going on?
Cassidy sweeps over to the piano stool, takes the microphone and beckons Angus.
Huh?
‘Come on, Angus! You can’t keep this a secret from us any more,’ she says confidently, in front of a restless crowd. ‘It’s not fair to keep songs like this under wraps!’
What is she talking about?
Then. She begins to play. And the full horror hits him when the opening bars drift out from the piano.
Oh no.
He hears his mic click back on and Zach’s voice crackling in his earpiece, saying, ‘Go for it, Angus! This one’s a hit!’
No! No, no, no!
How did Cassidy get this? He has a horrifying flashback to the printer not working properly at the hotel. Had he printed it twice and not realised?
He is frozen in shock. He’s not able to sing. He’s not even able to move.
Kat
The opening bars hit her like a knife in the heart.
I’m a faded photograph on the shelf . . .
My song! How could he do this to me!
She’s . . . shattered with betrayal.
Angus seems white with rage! He stares disbelievingly at Cassidy then turns straight to Kat. His eyes are a mix of sheer panic and confusion and immense, immense sadness.
She can’t believe he’s done this. What would have possessed him to show Cassidy her song? When would he have shown her? Why? How could he have broken her confidence? How could he give away her composition like this? Her intellectual property? Her dream?
She’s struggling to breathe. She clutches at her chest. Angus’s part is coming up.
Tell me he’s not going to sing it!
Angus
Everything goes fuzzy, like he’s having some sort of out-of-body experience. He can vaguely hear the music, and the sound of ninety thousand fans screaming at this turn of events but he can’t find his voice. It’s like everything has slowed right down. He’s trapped in the worst nightmare of his life.
