And while Aiden was obviously delighted to be back in the winter wonderland he’d helped to build, Mitch just as obviously was not.
Mel didn’t know what to make of it. She had given Aiden a hug and shown him the toys, but as he played and chattered on and on, Mitch just sat on the couch, looking crabby. He didn’t have much to say to Mel’s questions about his week and his vacation, except that he was on call for surgery two days and both had been long and tiring. When he answered all Mel’s follow-up questions with one-word answers or grunts, Mel stopped asking them.
Mel was totally baffled—until she saw his face when Aiden mentioned Sam, and then she understood. “Sam and Mommy are getting me a train for Christmas,” Aiden told Mel. “We’ll put it in our new house.”
Mel raised her eyebrows and looked at Mitch, who was scowling. “That’s great, buddy,” she said. “What else did you ask for for Christmas?”
While Aiden ran off a litany of gifts he hoped to receive, Mel continued to study Mitch. He barely seemed aware of anything, and Mel began to feel annoyed with him for coming over at all. Why had he come? Just to have her entertain his kid? Play mom for a while and get her hopes up, all for nothing?
But Mel reminded herself that none of that was Aiden’s fault. After he finished his Christmas wish list, Mel said, “So how did you find out what gift your mom is getting you?”
“Sam told me,” he said with a giggle. “He said I had to pick the color for the tracks because there is red, yellow, and blue.”
Mel knew enough of Aiden from their weekend together that the color he would choose would be yellow, and when they both said, “Yellow” together, it was the first thing that got Mitch to look up.
“You two can read each other’s minds,” he said, but he didn’t really say it in a friendly way. His tone was dark, and when Mel looked up at him, she saw a smirk that she honestly found a little bit insulting. There was just something condescending about his whole attitude that she didn’t like. When he saw the expression on her face, he added a sheepish, “Sorry.”
Aiden continued playing, and Mel went to get the cookies. While she was in the kitchen, Mitch joined her. “Listen, I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’ve had the shittiest week.”
Mel took a deep breath, trying to be patient. She liked Mitch; she liked him a lot, to be honest. But he needed to stop using her as a sounding board for every complaint in his life. She’d had a hard week, too, and it would have been nice if he’d at least tried to be happy.
“It’s fine,” Mel said, handing him a plate of cookies. “Can you carry these?”
“Cute,” Mitch said, looking at the Santa cookies with a smile. “Aiden will love these.”
“I hope so.” Remembering her old tactic of distracting Mitch to cheer him up, she said, “So what are you getting him for Christmas?”
“Huh? Oh.” Mitch’s face went from surprised, to thoughtful, to panicked in about three seconds. “Oh, crap. Ash always got our gifts. I don’t know. I’m supposed to get him something now?”
Mel couldn’t help laughing. “Well, he just listed literally everything he wants, so I hope you were listening.”
Mitch’s panic was actually comical. “I wasn’t listening! What do I do?”
Mel said, “I will tell you what he wants later, okay? I heard the whole list.” Then she shook her head. “You are really, really lucky you have me, Mitch.”
And then, that look was back on his face. The one she didn’t know how to interpret. The one that made her hopeful in spite of herself. She hated that look. She lived for that look. “I am, you know.”
Then, Mel’s heart started racing again. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the gift reared its obnoxious head. Was she supposed to sing now? Was she supposed to grant him his wish now? Was her crazy gift kidding? What would happen? Mel had already granted Ashleigh’s wish, rendering any power over Mitch totally moot. It couldn’t happen both ways. What on earth was going on?
“I’m sorry about earlier,” he repeated, shaking his head. “I honestly don’t know why I would ever take a bad mood out on you. You’re amazing. You’re the only bright spot in my life at the moment, to be honest.”
His words made Mel feel terribly guilty. Maybe this meant she’d done the wrong thing singing to Ashleigh. Maybe this was a bad sign. Not wanting Mitch to notice the concern in her face, Mel turned abruptly and walked into the living room, saying, “Come on, let’s see if Aiden wants to play a game.”
Mitch’s mood improved a little that night, but not much. The guys left before dinner time, and Mel honestly wasn’t sure when they would see each other next. It turned out, she didn’t need to wait long. She was seated at her desk the next morning when none other than Mitch walked into her yoga studio.
Mel had to do a double take, but when she recognized that it really was him, she couldn’t hold back her smile. “Hey, you,” she said warmly. “You’re here.”
Mitch smiled broadly, but seemed at a loss for what to say for a moment. Then, he suddenly held up the tray in his hands and said, “I brought coffee.”
Mel, who had already had two cups that day, was too polite to turn him down, and Amos had absolutely no inclination to do so.
“This is so nice of you,” Mel said. “What a great surprise. Thank you!” She walked toward him and took the coffee from his hands, only to have it taken by Amos, who was still babying her and her knee, even though it really was much better now.
Mel glanced over her shoulder at him, then back at Mitch. “Amos still thinks I’m helpless,” she said, by way of explanation.
Mitch answered, “I was just about to say how much better your knee looks. You’re walking great now. It’s my finest work,” he added, and the cocky smile was back. Mel had missed that smile.
Mel shook her head. “Great job, doctor. It feels way better, too. Still stiff and sore, sometimes, but I can tell I’m recovering. I can do stuff now.”
“Nothing too strenuous,” he said, his tone suddenly turning serious. Mel loved that he was able to just shift into doctor mode like that.
“No,” she agreed, “just walking to work, and a yoga class or two.”
“Beginner’s yoga,” he insisted, and Mel again agreed.
“So,” Mitch said, “since your knee is looking so good, I thought…maybe, you might want to take a walk with me?”
Mel glanced at Amos, whom she knew perfectly well could handle anything that would come up in her absence. It was snowing lightly outside, but even that seemed to be subsiding. It wasn’t too cold; it was a beautiful winter day, and a walk sounded great.
“I know you want to go,” Amos said, “and since your doctor is here to supervise, I guess I’m not worried about you causing permanent damage. Go ahead.”
Mel had to chuckle at how Amos seemed to think he was in charge of the studio she owned. “Thanks, boss,” she said pointedly.
Mitch had gotten Mel a holiday drink that tasted like gingerbread, and as they headed out into the snow, Mel wrapped in a red scarf and warm wool coat, she truly felt as though this would be the perfect romantic holiday walk—if only any of it were real. She sighed. Mitch’s moodiness couldn’t really be misinterpreted. He still loved his ex, and he still wanted his family back as his deepest wish. Mel struggled against her feelings of guilt. Here she was, enjoying a holiday walk with somebody who could have been enjoying the fulfillment of all his wishes by now. And instead, he was stuck with Mel.
But today, Mitch didn’t seem to mind it too much. He insisted she take his arm to lean on, and as they walked, he said, “Thanks for inviting us over yesterday, Mel. I wanted to call or stop by all week, but after everything that happened last weekend, I guess I was just too embarrassed. But I didn’t need to be. You never make me feel like I need to be ashamed or embarrassed about anything.”
Mel turned and looked at Mitch with surprise. “You never do need to feel that way,” she said.
He squeezed her arm and said, “That’s what I mean. That right there.
I…” he shook his head, leaving whatever that thought had been unfinished.
“I know what you mean,” Mel said. “I feel that way about you, too. I mean, sure, you laugh at me sometimes, but I kind of like it.”
“I know,” he said.
Mel could see peripherally that he was smiling as widely as she was, but neither looked at each other, or spoke again for a long time. Mel couldn’t take very long off from work today, but she was still so happy that Mitch had stopped by. If it were real, if they could ever be more than friends, she could see herself being so happy doing little things like this with him whenever they wanted.
But then, she remembered what Ashleigh had said about not trusting him. Was this just how Mitch acted at first in a relationship? Well, no, it couldn’t be—because this wasn’t even a relationship. They were just friends. Although, to be honest, the line was beginning to blur for Mel. Maybe there was a chance.
“Can I ask you something?” Mel asked quietly.
“Of course,” he answered.
“You won’t like it,” Mel warned. “It isn’t even really my business.”
“Still ask,” he said, and he looked almost nervous when he turned toward her.
“Ashleigh said something to me. She said…she just said something to suggest that you weren’t ever sure what you wanted when you were together. And I know she was really trying to get me to doubt our…friendship, but it just seemed so farfetched, because you’ve been an amazing friend. So…I don’t know. This is coming out wrong.”
But Mitch seemed eager to respond. “No, I know what you mean. Look, I won’t pretend I didn’t make mistakes with Ashleigh, but it wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always working constantly, and we weren’t always fighting. But it was never easy between us. Eventually, I did start avoiding her, although I probably didn’t even realize I was doing it, because it was exhausting to feel like I was always letting her down. But that isn’t how it is with—”
He stopped, and Mel, realizing she’d been holding her breath, drew in a long, shaking breath of air. Mitch turned to face her, and his eyes locked with hers—deep and steady and sincere. The cool wind ruffled her hair, and Mitch looked like he wanted to touch it; his hand moved slightly, and Mel couldn’t say a word. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say. All she could do was watch him, lips almost aching with the wish to kiss him again, to remember how he’d felt and tasted, and to discover again anything she’d forgotten. But he wasn’t moving, and she felt the moment slipping further away.
And then they were interrupted.
“Hey, there you are!” Subha called from across the road. Mel looked up, somewhat dazed, to see that they were across the street from the studio.
“Oh. Yes, I was taking a walk. We were. Me and Mitch.”
“Yes, I see that,” Subha said. She was not wearing a coat and was shivering. “There’s a call for you inside.”
“Oh. Okay,” Mel answered, and she turned to look back at Mitch as Subha bustled back inside. “I should go, I guess,” she said.
Disappointment was written all over his face, but Mel wasn’t sure how to interpret it. Would he have kissed her? Was she overstepping the boundaries of their friendship?
“I’m sorry our walk was so short,” she added. “Thank you for coming, and for the coffee! It was the nicest surprise.”
“I’m glad,” he said, but his smile was still sad.
Mel had a thought then, and she impulsively ran with it. “Hey, you know, Subha’s Christmas party is Saturday night. They have one every year and it’s always really fun; their families and friends come and we have food and play games.” The “fun” part wasn’t totally true, in Mel’s eyes, but close enough. Mel had lately grown to hate being the only truly single person at the party. Even Amos was bringing his boyfriend, and meanwhile Mel would be totally alone, hearing the well-meaning but nonetheless rude comments of mothers telling her she was “lucky not to have to deal with” kids and wives saying how they missed being single.
“I’ll have Aiden,” Mitch said, “but I might be able to get a sitter.”
“He can come, too,” Mel said. “Families are one hundred percent welcome. What do you say?”
Mel was reminded of her Thanksgiving invitation, as Mitch looked almost amused and said, “You know what? Sure. We’d love to come.”
Mel said goodbye and hurried back into the studio, where the aforementioned phone call had been handled by Amos without needing any of Mel’s advice or input.
“Sorry,” Subha said after Amos left for his lunch break. “He told me he needed you.”
Mel was genuinely annoyed, but since this was technically her job that she’d been neglecting to walk through a winter wonderland with Mitch, she didn’t have much of an excuse for being so. “It’s fine,” she said. “By the way, I invited Mitch to come to your party.”
“Seriously?” Subha said. They were alone in the studio, so there were no inhibitions preventing her from adding teasingly, “You and the doctor are finally an item?”
“No,” Mel said emphatically, and then she described the almost-a-kiss they hadn’t shared just then outside, and his terribly grumpy visit the day before.
“Oh, that’s nothing,” Subha said. “He feels rejected. Once he sees that you are not rejecting him, and are totally, one hundred percent available—”
“Making me sound pathetic,” Mel interrupted under her breath.
“Then he will be happy and eager to get together with you. And it doesn’t make you sound pathetic, but it’s just the truth.”
Mel sighed. “Is it okay if I bring them to your party?”
“Of course. The twins are so in love with Aiden, too. We’ll all have fun.”
“I hope so. He seemed so depressed yesterday, and I felt guilty.”
“Why?”
“Because I might have encouraged Ashleigh to get back together with Sam.” That was as close to the truth as Mel would allow herself to get.
“You sly girl!” Subha cried, and Mel wished she’d said nothing. “I knew you would try to do something to get him. Good for you!”
“That’s not how it was!” Mel protested. “Ashleigh was really unhappy with him. And I don’t think that was necessarily his fault. They just weren’t right for each other. Neither of them are really go-getters, you know? They couldn’t co-exist.”
“The relationship doctor is in the house.”
“Stop!” Mel laughed. “Look, I know I meddled and I know I have this stupid crush on him, but I really think I did it for the right reasons.”
“Really?” Subha asked.
“I mean…yes? I don’t know.” Mel was too confused to even begin to process her own feelings.
“I won’t tease you anymore,” Subha said. “Because I know if you did that, you must really like him.”
And against that accusation, Mel couldn’t think of a single thing to say in her own defense.
Chapter 12
The night of the party came. Mel’s studio would be closed for the holiday week, so she could stay as late as she wanted. Then she realized she would have Aiden with her, and Mitch. She couldn’t stay that late. That was one part of being a parent, she reluctantly admitted, that she didn’t envy, although a larger part of her said it would still be worth it.
Mel picked Mitch up since he didn’t know Subha’s address, and she was infinitely amused to see him and his son in matching Christmas sweaters. “What,” she said with an enormous smile, “are you wearing right now?”
Aiden grinned and said, “We have a matching set! Mommy has one, too!”
The idea of them matching made Mel’s smile dim, but she hid her face before Mitch could notice it. They drove to Subha’s with the Christmas radio station on, and both of the boys singing at the top of their lungs—though Mel wouldn’t dare let herself join in. Any wish granting at this point was dangerous.
Mitch seemed in a much better mood, and Mel couldn’t imagine why. She had to assume nothing had
changed with Ashleigh and Sam’s situation, but he was just all energy and good cheer, to use the holiday phrase. He didn’t even balk when Aiden, in his innocent way, mentioned that one song was Sam’s favorite carol.
When they arrived at the party, they were among the first guests, and Mel got right to work helping Subha with food. She always stationed herself this way, preferring to be busy than to have her personal life scrutinized and commented on by the other guests. But as she bustled around the kitchen, Paul said to her, “You don’t have to help this time, Mel. Not while your date is here.”
Mel said, “I don’t know what Subha told you, but Mitch isn’t here as my date. We’re just friends.”
“Oh, there you are!” Subha said then, rushing into the room to find Paul. “I need help carrying the punch bowl up from the basement.”
“Yes, m’lady,” he said in a goofy voice that made Mel fight not to roll her eyes. These two were silly sometimes.
When they both left, Mel noticed Mitch was in the doorway, as well.
“Hey,” she said. “Where’s the little guy?”
“With the twins,” Mitch answered. Mel could tell right away that his good mood from the car had been fleeting. All the earlier gloom was back, and it weighed heavily on her, too. She wished he would try harder to cheer up; but on the other hand, she didn’t mind that it was her role to make him look on the bright side of things. She thought they would have complemented each other nicely, had they ever really become a couple.
“Want to help set out food?” she asked. She was carrying a casserole out to the table, but there were several other plates that needed to be moved.
“I guess,” he said morosely. As Mitch passed by her, Mel’s heart began to race again. Maybe she would just have to get used to this. She’d made the wrong choice, and now Mitch’s misery would be on her conscience forever. Why had Subha ever made her think he liked her? He obviously cared only for one woman. He was like a penguin or a lobster or whatever animal it is that mates for life.
Christmas Melody: a romance for the holidays Page 14
