by Anne Fraser
Nick shrugged. ‘Nothing else I could do.’
‘You could have called the police. It’s what any sane person would have done.’
Nick shook his head. ‘And waited ten minutes for them to arrive? I could hardly stand around doing nothing while they kicked a man to death. Surely even you can see that?’
Of course she did. The Nick she knew would never have stood back. Not even if the men had been armed to the teeth with guns as well as knives.
‘Still playing the hero, then?’ she said.
Wasn’t his hero status part of his attraction? Why, even when she knew she was getting in too deep, she couldn’t resist him? She closed her eyes, remembering the day she’d realised she was in love with him and that he had felt something for her too...
* * *
The time in the camp had passed quickly. When she hadn’t been working she played poker with Nick and some of the others, using one of the resus beds as a table. In the evenings the staff who were off duty got together for drinks in the bar—although while it was called a bar, in camp only soft drinks had been served. Other nights there were plays, sometimes even concerts. A group of army medics had brought their instruments with them and often in the evenings she and Sue, along with the other nurses and doctors, would sit around and listen to them play.
Nick had invariably been there. The man had known more about her than anyone, apart from her own family. He’d seemed to adopt her as an honorary kid sister. Sometimes she would catch him looking at her and her heart would thump and she would have difficulty breathing. Despite everything she’d told herself, her reaction to him had been anything but that of a sister.
If Nick had been hauled over the coals for disobeying orders the day she’d accompanied him on the retrieval, she never found out. What she did know was that their young Afghan patient, who turned out to be only seventeen, went on to make a full recovery. Something that was unlikely to have happened in his local hospital.
And soon after that she discovered that Nick had arranged for Hadiya, the child with burns, to be flown to the UK, with her family, for treatment.
Everything she learned about him just made her fall for him a little deeper every day.
She’d been at the camp for four weeks when, after a late night listening to the band, she looked up to find him standing behind her.
He held out his hand. ‘Come with me, Tiggy.’
She thought her heart would stop. Almost in a trance, she took his hand and allowed him to lead her away from the group and into the darkness.
‘Where are we going?’ she whispered.
‘Somewhere away from prying eyes.’
Her heart pounding, she let him lead her to a quiet place behind one of the accommodation blocks. Suddenly he pulled her against him and kissed her.
His kiss was everything she’d imagined and more. And, God help her, she had been fantasizing about how it would feel to be in his arms. She’d been kissed before but likening Nick’s kiss to her previous experiences was like comparing a single star to the Milky Way.
His mouth was hard and demanding, in a way that reminded her that he’d kissed a hundred women before her.
One hand was on her hip, pulling her close, the other was in her hair. His lean, muscular body felt just as good as she’d anticipated, and her very bones seemed to melt.
When he let her go she found it so difficult to breathe she thought she would hyperventilate.
‘Do you know, I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I saw you?’ he asked.
‘You have?’ she squeaked. Oh, God, couldn’t she at least pretend to be more used to being kissed like that?
His eyes locked on hers. ‘I don’t know how I’ve managed to keep my hands off you until now.’
As he bent his head to kiss her again she came to her senses. Nick wouldn’t be satisfied with just kisses. And she was damned if she would be his plaything. She placed her hands against his chest. She loved the feel of his muscles under her fingertips, which wasn’t helping her resolve.
‘Don’t, Nick,’ she managed.
‘Why not? I know you liked me kissing you.’ When he reached for her again, she stepped away.
‘I’m not one of your conquests, Nick.’ She lifted her chin. ‘I have my pride.’
To her disbelief, he threw back his head and laughed. ‘Tiggy, if you were just that, don’t you think I would have made my move before now? Do you have any idea how difficult it’s been for me to keep my hands off you, knowing that if I made my move too soon I’d scare you away?’
He’d been thinking of her, just as she’d been thinking of him? Warmth curled in her belly. Perhaps everyone was wrong about Nick...
Perhaps even Sue was wrong about Nick...
She sighed. Sue wouldn’t have warned her off if she hadn’t been sure he couldn’t be trusted.
‘Don’t make fun of me, Nick. I’m not good at these kinds of games.’
His smile disappeared. ‘Make fun of you? Don’t you have any idea what you do to me, woman? I kept away from you not just because I didn’t want to frighten you off but because of what you were doing to my head. No one has done this to me before.’
She wished she could believe him. If only wishes were horses, or whatever the expression was. But she wasn’t so naive that she didn’t know Nick was the kind of man to take whatever he wanted and to hell with the consequences.
‘In that case,’ she retorted, ‘you’re going to have to work hard to convince me that’s true. In the meantime, I’m going to bed.’ And as his eyes glinted in the moonlight, she added. ‘Alone. Goodnight, Nick.’
* * *
‘Time for your medication, Nick.’
Tiggy was brought back to the present as a nurse with a perky smile appeared by the bedside.
Nick held out his hand and, taking the small plastic cup from the nurse’s hands, tossed the tablets down his throat.
The nurse eyed Tiggy then looked back at Nick. ‘I see we have visitors today.’ Her glance at Tiggy wasn’t exactly friendly.
‘This is Tiggy. She’s just leaving.’
Tiggy ignored him. Although every cell in her body was screaming at her to run, she knew she wasn’t going anywhere. Not until Nick had promised to at least consider the operation. After that he was on his own, and they could go back to acting like strangers instead of two people who had once loved each other more than she’d thought possible.
‘I hope Dr Casey hasn’t been giving you too hard a time,’ Tiggy said to the nurse with a smile. ‘He can be a little grouchy.’
The nurse giggled and blushed. ‘No, not at all...’
Whatever else was wrong with Nick, it wasn’t his flirting skills.
Jealousy ripped through her, stealing her breath. How many women had he slept with since they’d separated? There were bound to have been several. It had been years after all.
Not that it was any concern of hers. Not any more.
All of a sudden she’d had enough. Her head felt as if it was about to explode. She had to get out of there.
She bent over Nick and took the plastic cup from his hands. She thought about kissing him on the cheek, but at the last moment decided against it. Knowing Nick, he would consider it a sign of possession.
‘I’ll be back this evening,’ she said. ‘We’ll talk more then.’
Nick waited until the nurse had disappeared before shaking his head. ‘Don’t come back, Tiggy. Can’t you get it into your head? You and I are nothing to each other any more. Haven’t been for years. In fact, tomorrow I intend to call my lawyer and restart the divorce proceedings.’
Tiggy sucked in a breath. ‘Very well,’ she replied, glad her voice wasn’t wobbling the way her heart was. ‘You do that. But in the meantime I’m your next of kin. I’m coming back tonight. You can choose to ignore me if you want but, whether you like it or not, I am coming back.’
* * *
Nick watched Tiggy leave.
She was still beautiful. Thinne
r perhaps, and her hair was longer, but she still made his gut tighten.
He clenched his jaw. He still hated himself for the way he’d hurt her. Why had he married her in the first place? He should have known that he and Tiggy were never going to have a happy ever after.
But, God, he’d been in love. So much he’d thought it could work. If anyone could save his soul, he’d told himself, Tiggy could.
He’d been wrong. His soul wasn’t salvageable. At least, not by someone like Tiggy. He’d tried to make her happy and in the first year of their marriage it had seemed he’d succeeded. He’d hated being away from her, but then... He shook his head. Being with her had become the thing that had torn him apart. So he’d done the only thing he could. The only honourable thing, even if it had been three years too late: he’d left her, knowing it was the only way that she would find the happiness she deserved.
She had moved on with her life so she had to be here out of a sense of duty or, even worse, pity. The thought made him cringe. He didn’t need or want her pity.
He wanted her to look at him the way she used to.
Why was he thinking that way? That was the road to hell for both of them.
So now, more than ever, he needed to convince her to forget about him. Even though seeing her again was doing something to him he hadn’t felt for a long, long time.
A nurse stopped by his bed and pulled the screens. ‘Time for your nap, Nick.’
Time for his nap? Did she think he was a child? Hell. He needed to get out of here.
CHAPTER SIX
AS SOON AS Tiggy got home she changed into her running gear and, despite the rain soaking the earth, decided to go for a ten-mile run. She needed to exhaust herself if she wanted to stop thinking about Nick. Not for the first time she wondered what would have happened if she’d listened to Sue and kept well away from him. Of course, that would have been easier if she hadn’t fallen in love with him, and if he hadn’t convinced her that he loved her too.
* * *
After the night they’d kissed, Nick had continued to seek her out. And despite resolving every day not to have anything to do with him, she’d go with him, though walking or playing cards or even working out together had been pretty much as far as it had gone. Inevitably word had got around the camp about her and Nick.
One evening, as she was getting ready for bed, Sue had come to sit on the edge of her bed.
‘Do you know what you’re doing, Tiggy?’ she asked.
The sun and dust was playing hell with her light skin. Tiggy finished rubbing moisturiser onto her neck before answering. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Come on, Tiggy. I’ve seen the way you look at each other. I’ve never seen him so bowled over by someone, but that’s not to say it will last. Your tour will come to an end soon, you’ll be going home, and he’ll be staying here.’ She took Tiggy’s hand. ‘I don’t want you to get hurt. Nick will move on to someone else. Maybe not straight away, but eventually. That’s the way he is.’
Tiggy gave up trying to pretend she didn’t know what Sue was talking about. Of course she’d wondered the same thing.
She sat down next to her new friend. ‘I can’t help it. I know I should stay away from him, but I can’t. I love him, Sue, and, as crazy as it sounds, I know I’ll never stop.’
‘Oh, Tiggy, I’m not saying he doesn’t care about you. How could he not? It’s just that it never lasts with Nick. I wish I could say it would be different with you...’
‘Perhaps this time you’ll be wrong.’
Sue looked at her for a long moment. She shook her head. ‘Perhaps you’re right. I hope so, for your sake. He’s got to settle down some time, so why not with you? But take care, Tiggy. Please.’
Sue’s words stayed with Tiggy. Her friend was right. Nick would tire of her sooner or later—it was inevitable. If he was attracted to her now, it was because she hadn’t succumbed to him completely and because she wouldn’t be around for much longer. As soon as she left he would move on to the next woman who intrigued him. So by the time the following evening came around she’d decided to finish it—whatever ‘it’ was. She sent a message saying that she couldn’t meet him at their usual place. She wasn’t really surprised when he came looking for her.
‘What’s up, Tiggy?’ He stepped into her tent without giving her a chance to reply. ‘You okay?’ He placed one hand on her forehead and the other on her wrist. Typical Nick to think the only reason she wasn’t meeting him was because she was ill. And she did feel ill. Not physically, but ill at the thought that this would be the last time she felt his touch.
She jumped to her feet and moved away from him. It was so easy when she was away from him to tell herself that she could live without him, but now, with his presence filling her tent, his eyes warm with concern, she couldn’t imagine a life without him.
She kept her back towards him, knowing that if she looked at him she’d be undone.
‘It’s over, Nick,’ she said quietly.
His laugh was incredulous. ‘Over?’ He came to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. ‘You’re kidding, right?’
‘I have never been more serious.’
He pulled her around until she was forced to face him. He lifted his thumb, tracing the curve of her mouth. She shivered and closed her eyes.
‘I’m sorry, but I can’t do this, Nick,’ she whispered.
He frowned. ‘Do what?’
‘I can’t be with you and pretend that it means nothing. I’ll be going back home in a week but you’ll be staying here.’ She forced a smile. ‘Don’t even try to pretend that there won’t be others after I’ve left.’
He dropped his hands and studied her for a long moment. ‘What are you saying?’
‘I’m saying that it’s over. Time for us both to move on.’
‘Hell, Tiggy. What do you want from me?’
What did she want from him? She sighed inwardly. Nothing much. Only his heart and soul, for him to care about her the way she cared about him, and not for a few days or weeks but forever. Nothing else would do. She loved him, but she didn’t want the leftover bits of him. She wanted it all. She raised her chin and told him.
But if she’d expected him to look at her with horror and run for the hills she was mistaken. Instead, a slow smile crossed his face. ‘Typical Tiggy. Always have to tell it like it is. I think that’s why I’ve fallen in love with you.’
His smile disappeared and a look of bafflement crossed his face. ‘Did I just say I loved you? Hell, Tiggy.’ He grinned. ‘I don’t know what it is about you, but I can’t get you out of my head. I love you, you idiot. I admit it’s come as a bit of surprise to me too. But I love you. God knows why, as you’re the prickliest, most infuriating woman I’ve ever known.’
‘And you’re easy?’ Tiggy snapped back. ‘Personally I have never met a more arrogant, over-confident man who thinks that he deserves nothing but worship, who thinks that the world revolves around him, who thinks that all women should fall at his feet. God knows why I let myself fall in love with you. I must be a bigger idiot than I thought.’
They stared at each other for a moment. Then suddenly she was in his arms.
* * *
Tiggy was back at the hospital at six. She paused in the doorway. Nick was at the table again, still playing cards. When he looked over at her, for a moment she thought she saw pleasure in his brown eyes and the hint of a smile on his full mouth, but almost immediately his expression hardened and she knew she’d been mistaken.
He threw his cards on the table and excused himself. She could tell that it took every ounce of willpower for him not to limp as he came towards her.
‘I thought I told you not to come back,’ he ground out through clenched teeth.
‘And I told you I was coming back whether you wanted me to or not. You see, Nick, even if you were in a position to give me orders, which you aren’t, I’m no better at obeying them than you are.’
When he eyed her speculativel
y for a long moment she could almost see the wheels turning in his head. ‘In that case, if you’re so determined to act the part of a wife, I want you to tell the harridan of a ward sister that I’m coming home with you.’
Home. One simple word could still tear a hole in her heart. It hadn’t been a home since he’d left. She should have put the house on the market, but couldn’t bear to, not even when she knew without a shadow of a doubt that Nick wouldn’t be coming back.
But that was not to say she wanted Nick within a mile of the house she considered hers. He had to be kidding if he thought it was even a remote possibility. It was one thing seeing him in hospital, but to have him back in the home they’d once shared? No, she didn’t think she could do that.
‘There is no reason why I have to be here,’ he continued. ‘Even if I decide to go ahead with the operation, I don’t have to be in hospital until the day before the procedure. In the meantime, they won’t sign me out unless I have somewhere to go and someone...’ he raised his eyebrow, ‘...and I quote, who is “willing and able to look after you and ensure that you won’t do anything you shouldn’t”.’
So she’d been right about the flare of hope in his eyes she’d seen earlier, only it hadn’t been for her.
‘We are, as you keep reminding me, still married and the house is still in both our names.’
He was right. But he’d long ago given up the right to live there.
He lowered his voice. ‘I don’t intend to actually come home with you, of course, but I need you to say I am.’
‘You want me to lie for you?’ she asked, finding her voice at last.
‘Don’t make me beg, Tiggy. But if I don’t get out of here, I won’t be responsible for my actions. You know how I hate being cooped up.’
Tiggy’s breath came out on a sigh. She had no doubt that Nick would abscond from the hospital if she didn’t agree.
‘Look, I’ll go to a hotel and even promise to take it easy. Just tell them that you’re taking me home.’
She didn’t want him in their—her—home. She wanted him out of her life again. She wanted... Her head was beginning to throb. She didn’t know what she wanted. Actually, come to think of it, she wanted to poke her finger in Nick’s wound and twist. She wanted to hit him with her fists, she wanted to let him stew here in hospital where she hoped he’d be bloody miserable.
