by Susan Thomas
"There's nothing to tell."
"Sure there is, start with your mom."
"No you misunderstand... there is literally nothing to tell. I don't have a mum any more. She died two years ago."
Zoe went silent for a while and then she said softly, "Oh I'm so sorry Alice."
"It's OK. She was glad to go in the end. She'd been ill for years, about six or so. She got progressively worse. Death was a release. I don't tell people because I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me. Others have it far worse than me"
"But hard for you and your dad."
"No dad. He didn't even see me born. The whole idea of being a father was way too much for him. They weren't married. Great for the guys, isn't it?"
Zoe looked she was about to cry. "Aunts or uncles?"
"Mum was an only child."
"Grandparents?"
"Grandma died just before my mum got ill, which was lucky really. She left enough money to pay off the mortgage on the flat and a small sum which was useful for emergency expenditures. We'd have lost the flat as mum stopped being able to work very quickly."
Zoe was reeling with the string of bad news delivered in such a matter of fact way. Alice showed no sign of self-pity. That was just the way it was and there was nothing to be done about it.
"I thought you guys in Britain had lots of benefits."
"There are and we got some but the system is complex and you have to know your way around. My mum was never up to it and I was just a kid. We were also frightened to push too much because I was the only one to care for her, and if the authorities found out they might have taken me and put her in a home." Zoe looked stricken by all this but to Alice it was simply a matter of fact. "It's all over Zoe. It's in the past. I can love and remember my mum but I can't let all that dictate how I live now."
"But two years ago Alice. You're only eighteen now so where did you go after..."
"The vicar of the church I went to, and his wife, took me in. They delayed their retirement to have me live with them and as soon as I left to come here they took retirement. They live in a one bedroomed flat down on the south coast. I have written and got a reply... you must have missed it. I'll write again at Christmas. But we aren't close, they were just very kind."
"Oh Alice I am so sorry I dragged all this up, can you forgive me?"
"Don't be silly, of course. It was stupid to think I could keep it secret but I don't want a whole load of sympathy. Can't bear it, and there are always those far worse off than I am."
Zoe sat drinking her coffee and feeling bad for having raised the whole subject. Finally she looked up and asked, "Did your friends help?"
"Friends!" Now for the first time Alice looked sad or even bitter. "Well I had to get home quickly every day because mum needed me. I couldn't invite anyone back home because of mum and the less the school knew the better, so I was odd at best and snobby at worse and you know what happens to kids like that."
"Yes I do - unpopular, picked on and bullied."
"You've got it. My life was a misery. As I got older some boys showed interest but I wouldn't do what they wanted and they told the 'top' girls who then got at me for that too. That's why I went to the church activities. They were time limited, no dating, but lots of kids and they just accepted me. They were great, kind and understanding and just took me as I was."
"I understand all that, really. My family are wealthy but dad insisted I went to an ordinary high school. A rich kid in an area where most weren't and a Christian. Yes the Bitch Club had a field day with me."
Alice laughed at the expression Bitch Club although she was surprised that the normally lovely Zoe used it. It must have been really bad at her school.
Zoe sat thoughtfully sipping her coffee and then a puzzled look came over her face. "Back up a bit. You got nobody back home for you expect this retired vicar guy you're not close to. So where did you go at Thanksgiving?"
"Bright Spring Guest House in town. Mrs. Sullivan was very nice and I joined her and her two regular guests for Thanksgiving. She has a lot of one night stays as well but not at Thanksgiving."
"Where are you going at Christmas? No don't tell me... Bright Springs?"
"Yes that's right."
Zoe snorted, took out her cell phone and the next second was saying, "No mom everything is fine. I want to know if it is OK for Alice, you know Alice my friend right? Yes her. Well can she come for Christmas? Great, thanks Mom. Love you. Look, talk soon... got to go now. Bye."
Alice tried to argue but Zoe was adamant and in the end she agreed, quite moved that her friend should be so insistent. In the days that followed, Zoe, without drama, told the other girls in Mark's house about Alice. Nobody made much of a fuss at Zoe's insistence, but Alice got cards, e-cards, little gifts and quick hugs all intended to show that they knew and they cared. Alice felt as if she had arrived in heaven.
Chapter 11
Target grades will have been set so carefully that no student may have any complaint about them being unachievable. It therefore follows that failure to reach an interim target must result in salutary discipline. Student Manual, Charnock Amos Jones College for Young Women.
Alice had organized the other girls well and the teams and pairs hummed as the date for the dreaded Christmas interim assessment drew nearer. None of them could really argue that the targets Mark had set were unfair, as they simply weren't. Some girls had challenged some of them and a few had been adjusted, but in the main he had shrewdly assessed their capabilities. "Education," as the Reverend Jones phrased it back in 1927, "is a privilege not granted to all. It should therefore not be taken lightly and idleness never tolerated."
Failing to reach the interim grade resulted in serious discipline. The strap was used which apart from poor grades was only used for rare evils such as alcohol and breaking curfew. The thought of getting strapped was a strong motivator for them all. Finally the day arrived and Mark summoned them to a meeting in the common room.
The chairs had been set in a semi-circle and there was a separate table and a chair at the front, with its back to the girls. On the table was the dreaded strap. Its appearance was meant to intimidate. The Reverend Jones had always refused to apologize for the fact that the girls in his college were to be in awe of the strap and what it might do to them. Enough girls had received a dose with it for the stories to have become greatly exaggerated horror stories, and now the ten girls in Mark's house could not look at him for any length of time but kept staring at the strap.
Mark followed the script given to him by the college. He outlined the importance of hard work and commitment to their studies. He explained - as if they hadn't heard it before - the thinking behind the discipline they were all liable to get, and that any discipline required would be meted out immediately and in front of them all.
By the time he had got to that, the girls were in such a state of nerves that it was a wonder they didn't wet themselves. He then proceeded to read out both their target grades and their actual grades. This was done in alphabetical order of surname. Alice with Watson as her surname would be last.
Alice tuned out the endless lists of grades and the gasps and noises made by her friends. For once she was lost in her own world with no thought for anyone's problems but her own. She had been set all A grades and had struggled to achieve them. She was bright she knew, but a lot of what she had been studying was new to her and at a high standard. She was certain that any minute her skirt would be up and her knickers down and Mark would be lashing the strap across her bottom. She wasn't at all sure she could take it.
She had the money from the sale of the flat and still some of the lump sum that her mum's pension policy had provided. College fees were paid in set installments so she hadn't paid out much as yet. She could just walk out and go home to England and get a job. She didn't have to take this discipline. She never had been obliged to take it especially with no family expectations at work.
"Watson, Alice."
Alice caught her nam
e and stood up. Should she walk to the chair or walk out?
"Sit down Alice. You don't need to stand to hear your grades."
Alice felt very silly. She was so convinced that she had done badly she thought he was calling her out for her discipline. She sat down. Mark read through her target grades solemnly even though they were all A. He then read through the assessed grades - a steady stream of A grades, but she was waiting for Mrs. Liang. That woman wouldn't give her an A, not in a million years - but that too was an A. Alice was bewildered and even more so when all the other girls started cheering and whooping and dancing around while Mark stood grinning at them.
"What just happened?" Her question was to Mark because everyone else was making so much noise.
"You all got your grades."
He didn't get to say anything else because she was pulled into a mad impromptu dance around the room and then Mark produced a cake and some non-alcoholic drinks and they had a small party.
---oOo---
The girls were excited to be going home for Christmas, all except Alice of course. She was nervous about going to Zoe's for Christmas. They were wealthy for a start and Alice had never had much money. Then Zoe's father was very strict and was a committed spanker. Alice was worried that she might do something wrong and he would want to discipline her.
She needn't have worried. Zoe's family may have been rich and their property huge and sprawling but they were down to earth and extremely hospitable. Nobody got spanked while Alice was there and Zoe seemed to have a very loving relationship with her dad which made Alice realize what she had missed. Zoe's mother took to her and told her she was welcome to stay at any time and for any length of time. Alice enjoyed the whole thing and was astonished that Zoe seemed to want her around so much as she didn't place much value on herself.
The two girls had the usual reluctance to return back to college routine, but once back were soon chatting noisily and comparing notes with the other girls.
---oOo---
Mark was disturbed again. By chance he had been standing near where the various returning students were unloading cars when he saw a large SUV pull up and Zoe get out. He recognized the man and woman that also got out of the vehicle as being her parents, but was shocked when Alice got out too. It was clear to him they had driven together from Texas from the way the luggage was pulled out. There was no chance they had simply picked her up at the airport. Why hadn't Alice gone home? What on earth was going on? It was a long flight to Britain but surely she would have wanted to spend Christmas with her folks. He felt agitated as he so often did when it came to Alice; she was a mystery to him and always seemed to be doing something unusual.
He hadn't been in the least displeased that she had organized the girls into teamwork which helped them all to get their grades. He hated using the strap, even the sound of it as it cracked across a girl's bottom disturbed him. It seemed to echo around the room and the others were always very upset watching it. If he had his way he would just give them a good sound spanking in their rooms but the same method had been in use since 1910 and the custom seemed immutable. But it was typical of Alice. She had also got them all learning the manual together with the result that not one in his house had got the second spanking, but he knew so little about her other than she teased him. Now this. Why hadn't she gone home? Was she some sort of spy? Was she on the run from something? His disturbance made him cross. He really had to get to the bottom of it.
Chapter 12
Supervisors must always be caring but their duties are paternal in nature and any other form of relationship is contrary to their role. Guidance for Supervisors 1933
Mark kept thinking about Alice for several days. He especially chewed over why she had gone to Zoe's over Christmas. What was it that she was hiding? Or at least hiding from him. Perhaps Zoe knew or perhaps Alice had tricked her in some way into getting to her place. His agitation on the matter of Alice grew and grew until one evening shortly before lights out he marched down to Zoe's room, knocked, and was admitted by a surprised Zoe.
"I want a word with you young lady."
Zoe backed away, alarmed at Mark's agitation. Her hands went without thought to her bottom fearing she had done something terrible that would earn her instant discipline.
"What about?"
"Alice. Why was she with you over Christmas?"
Zoe was so surprised she just gaped for a moment and Mark impatiently demanded she answer.
"Well I insisted she come and stay with me, that's why. We're friends and I wanted her to stay. We had a great time. We didn't do anything wrong - you can ask my parents."
"She should have gone home to her own folks. Why didn't she? What do they have to say about it?"
It took Zoe a good few seconds to process Mark's ignorance, and when she did she was angry with him. He was Alice's supervisor and yet he didn't know and hadn't asked! That wasn't good enough and she snapped out her reply in very frosty tones.
"Why? Because she hasn't got any Mr. Accourt, that's why. Her mom died two years ago and she has no dad and no other living relatives. She is utterly alone in the world and makes no complaint about it. She is brave and loving and you should be ashamed that you didn't know."
Mark was stunned. "She didn't tell me!"
"Well you're her supervisor. Why didn't you ask?"
Mark felt foolish again. Why indeed hadn't he asked? Because Alice disturbed him so much that was why. The only time she hadn't disturbed him was when she was ill and even then he had spent a great deal of time with her. Now he felt silly and cross. He left Zoe's room and stood in the corridor for a few moments before knocking hard on Alice's door.
Like Zoe she was alarmed by his agitation and stepped back, her hands covering her bottom. It was an entirely unconscious defense.
"I ought to spank you! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"That you don't have any parents. That you're all alone in the world."
"Well you didn't ask and I don't like broadcasting it. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me."
"You should have told me."
Both were unaware their voices were getting louder and Zoe next door grew alarmed for Mark didn't normally raise his voice and nor did Alice.
"Why should I? You could have asked. As it is you always seem suspicious of me except when I was ill... you were very nice then. But when I first came I thought you hated me or something."
"Hated you! I don't hate you."
"Well what is it then? You so often seem suspicious and look at you now... shouting at me just because I didn't tell you some personal information about myself. What is that all about?"
Mark couldn't really answer. What was the matter with him? Then it came back to him. "You disturb me that's why, constantly disturb me. You always seem to be doing something."
"How do I disturb you? This is mad! What do I do that disturbs you? I don't even get disciplined as much as some of the other girls. You have no right saying that."
Mark was so het-up, he snapped out, "Goodnight. Time for lights out. You'll be late now but that's my fault." And he went out banging the door behind him. He marched off down to his small apartment calling, "Lights out," which was not at all his usual practice. In his room he splashed cold water over his face and spoke severely to his mirror, asking it what on earth was the matter with him. For a long while the mirror didn't reply and then the answer came to him and took his breath away. It was frightening and wrong; but now he knew exactly what the matter was with him, and that he had to do something about it whatever the consequences.
He walked tensely down the now dimly lit corridor noting that all the lights were out under the doors. The girls were as usual obedient to the rules. All that is except Alice's room, but he had delayed her. That was OK, he wanted her to be still up. He knocked at the door and Alice opened surprised to see anyone much less Mark. He stepped in uninvited.
Alice was in a short nightdress when Mark pushed past her and in
to her room. She was astonished. He had never done that before. Her mind raced wondering just what was wrong with the man, he seemed incredibly wound up almost as if he was about to explode but was holding it in check. She looked at him wondering just what to do.
"I've come to apologize and explain."
Alice felt relieved. Whatever was eating him might perhaps be easily dealt with.
"Well I'm not bothered about apologies but I'd love to know what's got into you."
Mark kept his voice as calm as he could. "You disturb me and you always have, I didn't know why but I know now. Back in my apartment it came to me and I understood."
"How do I disturb you?"
"I really, really... care for you. I mean really care. You know... really, deeply care."
Alice looked at him not really understanding what he was saying and then suddenly he grabbed her and kissed her hard and passionately. He held the kiss for some time then let her go.
"Goodnight Alice." With that he left leaving her standing in turmoil.
Alice lay awake for much of the night, her mind racing over what had happened and her reaction to it. She kept returning to how he had reacted when she was ill: how tender he had been; how he had held her when she was being sick; how he had sat and read to her when she was recovering. She thought about the kiss and what it meant for him to do that. She recalled the strange erotic feeling she got when she had to account for her work and behavior to him. She thought very hard about how she felt about him and found it surprising.
The next morning she was with the other girls about to go off for breakfast when she saw Mark just leaving his apartment. She made the excuse of having forgotten something and ran back. He looked startled to see her again but stood waiting tensely as if expecting a tirade. Alice stood in front of him nerving herself and then took hold of his face, and pulling it down to hers kissed him lovingly. Then she turned and ran away, her face burning.
