by Lisa Lace
After the picnic, we went back to Nate’s. It was the first time I had been in his house, and I slowly wandered down his hall, casting my gaze around his living room to get a sense of him.
The townhouse was minimalistic, but there was a sense of style in the sparseness. Photographs of Nate, Marie, and Harriet were on the walls in the hall. It was the first time I saw her—Marie. She was beautiful. Blonde, beaming, vibrant. I could sense the life she had exuded just from her picture. And there was Nate—younger, fresher, happy. I wondered if he would find happiness with me too.
The living room didn’t have much furniture apart from a TV unit and television, a gray sofa with a multicolor throw tossed over the back and a few scattered pillows, and a copper coffee table. In place of furniture were toys; mountains of toys.
For how little furniture was in the place, it still looked lived in and homey. The toys and photographs painted a picture of a family life going on between these four walls.
Inside I could hear Kacey talking to Harriet. When the door clicked shut behind us, both of them came into the hall; Harriet dashing like a puppy, and Kacey a few steps behind, smiling knowingly. I caught her eye when I entered, and we exchanged a friendly smile.
Nate didn’t know that I had been going to Kacey’s support group. At least, I trusted that Kacey hadn’t let on. Nate hadn’t mentioned it, and I didn’t get the sense that he knew anything, so I believed that my secret was safe.
“Miss Dawson!”
Harriet had stumbled in front of me and was looking up at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. She looked from me to her Daddy with excited confusion.
“Hello, Harriet! How are you today?”
Instead of a reply, Harriet gave a nervous little giggle and dashed back into the living room.
Nate smiled with amusement and turned to his sister. “How was she? Did she behave?”
“No more trouble than usual.” Kacey grinned and turned to me. “Nice to see you, Jenna! Did you guys have a fun picnic?”
“It was great,” I said, looking up at Nate and beaming. “I had a wonderful time.”
“Not too hot, not too cold,” Nate added. “It was nice.”
“What are you guys doing for the rest of the night?”
Nate and I exchanged glances and then smiled in unison. I laughed and bowed my head, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear shyly. “I think maybe I’ll stay a while. If that’s all right with Nate.”
“Sure.”
Kacey’s grin grew, and she grabbed her jacket from a coat hook by the door. “Well, I guess I’ll leave you two to it, then.” She threw me another smile. “See you on Wednesday.”
For a moment I panicked, thinking Kacey had given away the fact that I’d be at her support group.
She must have seen the panic flash across my face because she caught my eye and said meaningfully, “To pick up Harriet.”
“Oh, sure. See you then.”
Kacey waved goodbye and headed to her car outside. Once she had left, Nate took a step closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Alone at last.”
“Daddy, daddy!”
Harriet came barreling back around the doorframe with a messy drawing in her hands and then stopped still again when she saw Nate with his arms around me. She cocked her head to one side as her little mind tried to process this new information. “Are you staying for dinner?”
I laughed. “I think so if your Daddy will let me.”
“Sure, Miss Dawson can stay for dinner! Miss Dawson’s new to our dinners, though. You better tell her the bad news. What happens at our dinners?”
Harriet made a face. “Vegetables.”
“What kind?”
“Good question, Miss Dawson.” Nate turned to Harriet and crossed his arms across his chest. “Which vegetables would we like, Harri?”
She thought about it for a moment. “Peas.”
“Excellent choice. Now, why don’t you go and finish the DVD we started yesterday while Miss Dawson and I make dinner, hmm?”
Harriet dithered a moment but then decided that a DVD sounded more exciting than peas and headed back into the living room. I followed Nate into the kitchen.
The kitchen was larger than mine, with cupboards along two walls and an island in the middle. Nate opened his fridge door and pulled out a fresh pack of chicken. “Chicken, mashed potatoes, and peas?”
“Sounds perfect. Can I help?”
“Not at all. You’re my guest. You can sit down right there on the stool.”
I did as I was told and crossed my arms over the counter as I watched Nate peel potatoes. “I thought you were a frozen dinner man? This all looks fresh to me.”
“It’s all part of my resolution to become a master-chef super-dad.”
Nate peeled and chopped the potatoes and set them to boil, and put the chicken in a roasting pan in the cooker. Soon, dinner was ready, and we ate with Harriet at the table. She soon got over her initial shock at seeing Miss Dawson in her house and came to life, telling stories in her little chatter while Nate and I smiled at one another.
After dinner, Nate got Harriet ready for sleep and put her to bed. Afterward, he joined me in his living room, pressing a glass of wine into my hand. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be sorry! That’s what dads do. You’re great with her.”
Nate smiled. “I try to be.”
I felt myself relaxing as I took the first sip of wine and settled back into Nate’s sofa. He placed his arm around me, and we just sat a while enjoying the silence.
“Mmm. This is nice.”
“It is nice,” Nate agreed. “I’m so glad you moved to this town.”
“Me too. I never believed I could be this happy.”
Nate turned and fixed me with a serious expression. He paused a moment before he spoke next, letting an unspoken question linger before he said it out loud. “What happened back in Pennsylvania?”
I turned my gaze away and placed my glass down on the coffee table. “What do you mean?”
“Just a feeling I have. When you first came, you were totally different than the way you are now. Unsure. Unsettled. Like you were looking over your shoulder.”
“I didn’t realize I came off that way.” I sighed heavily and looked over at Nate. His eyes were intense and full of concern. “I did leave Pennsylvania for a reason. My ex.”
“Looking for a fresh start?”
I let out a long breath, wondering how much of my heart I wanted to lay out, and how much of my story I was ready to tell. I tucked a foot up under me to get more comfortable and twisted to face Nate more squarely, resting my head on my hand, my elbow on the back of the sofa.
“I was hoping that moving out of state would give me the chance to do that, yes. I’d never really been able to before.”
“What do you mean?”
“Victor was relentless, and never wanted to let me go. When I broke things off with him, he didn’t get upset, he got angry. Like I’d insulted him. Like I’d embarrassed him. Like he couldn’t believe that someone like me would dare end things with someone like him.” I let out a low, bitter laugh. “He never thought all that much of me.”
Nate lifted my chin with his hand to raise my eyes to his and then spoke with utter conviction. “He was wrong. You’re an incredible woman.”
I felt my skin flush the way it always did when Nate spoke to me like that; intimately. Whenever he spoke to me with tenderness in his voice, it took what we had to a new level, where my body not only ached for him, but it felt like my very heart was beating for him too.
I squeezed his hand. “Thanks.”
“He must have been something, then, to make you come this far just to get away from him?”
“I skipped from place to place in Johnstone, trying to shrug him off, but he always caught up with me, and every time I had to start from scratch. I thought that if I came here, maybe it would be enough to shake him off for good.”
“You know I would never hurt you, r
ight?”
I smiled softly. “I know that.”
“And if your ex ever shows up here, I’ll be right here for you.”
“You’re not scared off by all my baggage?”
“No.”
I leaned forward and kissed him. It was tender; real. I pressed my lips against his softly and let the moment linger, the softness between us building, my palm resting on his jaw. I felt years of bitterness and sorrow streaming from me, and everything angry and overwhelming inside me was stilled in that one perfect moment of closeness.
Nate was silent as he positioned his arms under me and lifted me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt breathless as he carried me effortlessly to the bedroom. His whole body was solid and strong. I felt completely safe; as light as a feather in his arms.
In the bedroom, Nate closed the door behind us and pulled the drapes. He flicked the switch on a bedside lamp and turned the light down low until the room was lit by a soft glow. I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him.
He came to me, still silent. No words were necessary when our eyes caught, and our spark spoke for us. We were quiet, knowing Harriet was close by.
Nate came to stand in front of me, then slowly lowered himself to sit beside me on the bed. He reached up and pulled my cardigan away from my arms. He slipped the straps of my dress from my shoulders. I reached behind myself and pulled down the zip of my sundress. The material fell away to expose my silky black bra.
Lifting himself slightly, Nate pressed his lips against mine as he reached around behind my back to unstrap the clasp. I slipped it off. When Nate drew back, my breasts were bare, silhouetted by the gentle light of the lamp.
Nate’s hands ran over my skin, his thumbs brushing against my nipples softly. He raised his mouth to close his lips around one nipple and gently rolled his tongue around it. I tilted my head back and sighed, feeling my hair brushing against my bare spine.
I ran my fingers through the hair at the back of Nate’s neck and kissed his head. He lifted himself onto the mattress on top of me, peeling away the rest of my sundress as he did. I pulled off my own panties and dropped them over the side of the bed.
There I was, completely bare on the bed, Nate above me. I stayed silent and breathless as I watched his eyes roam over every inch of my naked skin. He pulled off his shirt, and I drew in a sharp breath of desire when I saw his broad shoulders and rippling muscles emerge. He unbuttoned his pants and let them fall too, followed by his briefs.
I repositioned myself on the mattress, my head now on the pillow. Wordless, a heavy glance was all I needed to offer to invite Nate towards me. He moved over me, above me; skin to skin. I ran a thumb down the length of his hard shaft and felt my body pulsate in anticipation.
Nate’s gaze didn’t leave mine when he entered me. The first stroke into me was slow but deep. I let out a soft moan at the sensation and clasped at Nate’s shoulders. He moved into me again, filling me completely.
Soon, I was riding Nate; just as slow, just as deliberate, drawing out the sensuality in each motion.
While I was straddling Nate, rocking against him, he lifted himself and wrapped his arms around me, taking me by surprise with a kiss that was deeper and more urgent. I wrapped my legs around him; he was still deep inside me.
We began to kiss fervently, passionately, growing breathless. My hands ran over Nate’s broad shoulders, my palms running up and down his spine. I rocked into him, feeling his thick shaft moving inside me with each motion.
He placed one hand on the back of my head to fix me in another deep kiss, and the other on my tailbone to push me towards him. I felt the sensation of an orgasm beginning to appear; still so new and overwhelming. My instinct was to draw back from a pleasure that was almost too intense, but Nate held me in place and pushed my pelvis down as he thrust into me.
So deep, so perfect. The sensation built; Nate pressed into me again. I threw my head back and began to gasp. Nate’s hands moved to my upper back; his head lowered into my chest. He began to suck on my breasts. My desire rose as his palm traveled to the base of my spine to press me deeper against him.
The orgasm built up inside me, tingling and electrifying. Finally, it crashed over me, and I stifled a loud cry, burying my face in Nate’s shoulder and gasping as he began to pound into me harder, knowing that I was past the brink. He pushed a thumb against my clitoris as I rocked to push me even further into ecstasy.
Then, Nate came. He let out a low growl of pleasure and furiously kissed me as he finished. He caught my eye and smiled at me. I felt my own smile grow, and I moved to cuddle against him as soon as he rolled away, his arms ready to hold me close.
Nate
My eyes ran up and down the length of Jenna’s bare legs, to the curve of her behind just peeking out from underneath the curved hem of my shirt as she tied her hair up. She saw me watching her and gave a little wiggle. I laughed.
I was still lying in bed, feeling completely content. Every time I looked at Jenna, that feeling of contentment grew. She was one amazing woman; sexy as hell. I was beginning to learn just how much more than that lay beneath the surface, though.
Last night, Jenna had told me about her ex. After we’d made love, we’d talked into the early hours of the morning, and I’d learned even more about the violent, destructive relationship she’d escaped. I guessed Jenna had kept it from me for so long because she’d worried I’d run a mile, knowing that she came with emotional baggage.
She was wrong. I admired the hell out of her for what she’d been through and what she’d survived. After all her ex had put her through, Jenna was still standing, and stronger than ever. After being put through hell by that man, Jenna had somehow found the courage and the strength to pick herself up and move to a new state and a new job, completely on her own. On top of that, she’d not let any of her suffering dampen her spirits or keep her from pursuing her dreams. She was still determined to finish her studies and qualify as a preschool teacher.
I admired Jenna’s optimism and defiant spirit. That took a kind of inner strength and grit that not all women had.
I felt honored that she trusted me. I couldn’t believe that it was easy for her to start over again in a new relationship after how the last one had hurt her, but she was giving me a chance. I felt fiercely protective of her; determined that I would never hurt her.
“What are you thinking about, dreamer?”
“Hmm?”
I lifted my eyes to see that Jenna had finished getting dressed back into her sundress from the day before and was looking at me with a smile. “You look a million miles away.”
“Just thinking about last night.”
Jenna’s smile widened, and she jumped onto the bed beside me and crawled across the mattress to my side. I pulled her into my arms.
“It was wonderful, wasn’t it?” She leaned back into my chest with a dreamy smile. “I guess I better get home now, though.”
“Really? Are you sure? Because I promised Harriet I’d take her to feed the ducks today, and I know that if Miss Dawson came with us, she’d be over the moon.”
Jenna laughed and thought for a moment. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I think you should come along.”
She grinned. “All right.”
“Well, you hide out in the kitchen, and I’ll go get ready.”
Jenna laughed. “I won’t tell Harriet I stayed the night.”
Jenna went to the kitchen while I got ready and got Harriet washed and dressed.
“Hey, Harri, I said Miss Dawson could come over for breakfast this morning. That OK?”
Harriet grinned from ear to ear. I smiled. I knew that Harriet liked Jenna a lot, and that meant a lot to me. It was important that Harriet liked whoever I was dating. At least, I assumed we were dating now. I hoped we were dating.
“Miss Dawson!”
Harriet rushed into the kitchen with a big grin and a lot of energy, wanting to show Jenna her pretty pink breakfast bowl with the butt
erflies on. I took my eyes off her for a moment while I turned to put the coffee maker on, and the next thing I heard was the sound of plastic tearing and cereal hitting the ground.
I turned around to see that Harriet had exploded another bag of cereal. I sighed and put my hand on my hip. “Harri! I thought you were gonna let Daddy open those from now on?”
“Oops.”
I was trying to give Harriet my stern father look, but I couldn’t keep a straight face because I could see Jenna hiding a giggle. “I’ll help her clear it up.”
“Thanks, Jenna.”
Jenna asked Harriet where the dustpan and broom were, and Jenna cleared away the mess while I finished coffee. I loved that she jumped right into the little daily dramas that came with a four-year-old. She took it all in stride and seemed to love every moment.
After breakfast, we went out to feed the ducks at the local pond. It wasn’t too far from my house, so we walked there. Usually, Harriet took my hand whenever we went out somewhere, but this time she grabbed Jenna’s. After the moment of surprise passed, I smiled. It mattered to me that my daughter liked Jenna, and it was clear to me that Jenna liked Harriet. She didn’t hesitate to hold her little hand and crouch down to talk to her with warmth and excitement, saying something that was sending Harriet into fits of giggles.
We walked as a little trio through the main street and then down the little pass that led to the pond. It wasn’t anywhere impressive, but it was one of Harriet’s favorite places to go. It didn’t matter what time of year you went; rain or snow, there were always ducks about, waiting for toddlers with fistfuls of crumbs to come and feed them.
As soon as Harriet caught sight of the water, she let go of Jenna’s hand and raced ahead, as I called out to her not to get too close to the pond.
“Have you ever thought about having them?” I asked Jenna. I nodded towards Harriet who was running ahead and picking every flower she could find. “You know, kids?”
Jenna smiled. “Sure. I love children! I’m only twenty-nine. So, I hope so.”
