Dr. Edwards smiled upon seeing her, and then opened the incubator.
Holly was too scared to look at Jamie, terrified that the same black spots marred her tiny legs. But when he placed Jamie against her chest, she couldn’t help but look at her baby’s legs. No spots were visible, and sighing in relief she prayed, giving thanks. She began to hum softly, gently rocking in the chair.
Contact time had increased to fifteen minutes, a good sign, or so she’d thought. It was over all too soon, as it had felt more like five seconds when Dr. Edwards returned, picked Jamie up and placed her back into the incubator.
This time, though, Holly didn’t leave her side. From that moment on, she stayed with Jamie, day in and day out.
By now, four weeks had passed, and Jamie was still with them. She’d struggled, but for some reason continued to pull through. Jamie, being the first born, or so Dr. Rikus told her, had always been stronger than Romalia and had even grown a couple of inches.
Holly had been pumping breast milk for the nurses to feed the babies, and now there was only one.
At first, they’d had to feed Jamie through a tube in her stomach, but of late Jamie had begun to drink from a bottle, not without some struggle. The nurses found it hard to sometimes get 5 milliliters into her little body as most of it spilled, but they’d eventually managed to get a fair amount in.
Throughout the time she spent with Jamie, she’d force Romy from her mind. She just couldn’t think about the ache in her heart when she spent time with Jamie. The only peace Holly had where Romalia was concerned, was that she believed she was still with them, even though she was now in the after-life; the plus side of having a twin in Heaven.
Jamie had looked exactly like Holly, and she knew that her sister would take care of her baby as if she were her own.
When Charles showed up one day, it was with a pacifier, which he handed to Dr. Edwards. “I know I’m not a doctor, but I’ve read that pacifiers help with breathing and sucking.” He hadn’t sounded too sure when he shared his explanation, but Dr. Edwards had nodded his approval.
“We’ll see if she will take to it. You got the smallest one, too, I see.”
“I’m a man of many talents, doctor.”
For the first time in a long time, Holly chuckled.
Charles took the chair next to hers. They watched as Dr. Edwards coaxed the pacifier gently into Jamie’s mouth. She spat it out a couple of times, but around the fifth time it stayed in.
Holly’s heart flip-flopped when she noticed the sucking movement on Jamie’s jawline. It had worked.
“Thank you so much, Dad.”
Charles gave his daughter a hug and kissed the top of her head. “It’s a start. She’s going to make it, Holly. I can feel it.”
“She’d better make it.”
“Oh, she will.” Charles smiled, while watching Jamie sucking on the tiniest pacifier either had ever seen.
Another month flew by in a whirl. Holly continued to stay at the hospital, but occasionally went to her mother’s motel, which was thankfully close by, to take showers and catch up on sleep.
Jamie improved weekly and if progress continued in that manner, she would soon be allowed to go home. She had finally made it out of NICU and was now in the nursery.
Holly would cry for Romalia when she wasn’t with Jamie, which would turn into a cursing session where the Peters’ were concerned.
Jane and Holly had settled into a pattern; when one needed rest, the other would take over and sit with Jamie.
Holly came across many women with preeclampsia, most in week 32 of their pregnancy, and almost none in their first trimester. The more she spoke to them, making friends along the way, the more she wanted to help them. But she couldn’t.
She didn’t have the knowledge Dr. Rikus or Gus Peters had. He still hadn’t given the go-ahead for the supplement to released, and by Dr. Rikus’ as well the nurses’ reaction during one of their discussions, he wasn’t going to.
He’d apparently found something not to his satisfaction and terminated production entirely. Whatever he’d found to be wrong, Holly more than likely hadn’t used it long enough to feel its side effects.
When she finally came across the press release and his reason as to why p47 had been terminated, he simply stated that it wasn’t a good supplement, it didn’t work, and wasn’t fit to be consumed by anyone. Perhaps it had caused severe side effects with another of his patients, leading him into believing that it was too risky a chance to take.
Whatever his reason, Holly would remain grateful that she’d at least had a couple of month’s worth in supplies, and as far as she was concerned it had worked in the short time she’d taken it.
Still, she wanted to help those women so badly. Seeing them suffer, scared of going through what she had was too painful for her. Until one day, something totally out of left field hit her. She might not have had the knowledge at that moment, but she was adamant she could gain it.
What if she studied to become a doctor? She’d always been a bright student, achieving mostly As in certain subjects. And her grandmother had always said that one was never too old to learn something new. Was it possible that she could very well become a doctor?
Those thoughts occupied her mind space quite a lot. Uppermost in her mind, though, was the fact that it would mean her path would cross with Jake’s eventually, and that was one of the things she really didn’t want. However, she weighed the pros and cons every second she spent with those women, it was a small price to pay.
Jake stood out in crowds, where she faded. But she’d always know when he’d be too close for comfort; the female doctors would alert her to that fact.
In the end, though, he’d surely find out. Word would spread, somehow, especially as she was determined to enter the exact field Gus was in, and work to achieve what he had so readily discarded—a supplement to help women through the situation they were in.
Still, it was a small price to pay. What she would have to do is be insanely careful not to mention Jamie. Her professional and personal lives would be poles apart. It could definitely work.
Holly couldn’t hide the smile that spread across her face. She knew that it was the right thing to do. It was what she wanted. She was going to medical school. She wanted to share her good news with her mother, but came to the conclusion that she’d probably think Holly was wanting to step into Jake’s shoes in the hope of seeing him again, even if that was the last thing she wanted. It was something her mother should by now know.
The day Charles Scallanger somehow found out who Jamie’s father was, or what he did for a living, would be the day he would surely blow a gasket.
Instead, Holly waited for just the right time to tell her mother.
Jamie was finally drinking all her milk, and the best part was that she was drinking it from Holly’s breast. She had to admit that it hurt like hell the first couple of weeks, but she was convinced that a mother’s milk was best for babies. Also, her breasts needed the relief as she had milk for ten babies, not just one.
The women in the nursery all smiled as Holly walked in. Grace, the nurse who’d helped Holly the night Romalia passed on, had become a really good friend. She picked Jamie up and handed her over to Holly. As she looked down at her little girl, who at that moment was yawning, her lips formed a perfect O.
Holly cursed Murphy’s Law, because little Jamie was the spitting image of her father; her skin such a gorgeous color it looked like she had a permanent tan, and her head was adorned with a bush of black hair.
“Ooh, that feels so good, yes it does,” Holly cooed, as Jamie stretched, her tiny hands balled into fists, arms reaching past her head. She yawned once more, letting out a cry that sounded like a lamb’s. It was too cute for words.
“I know, you’re hungry. Just hold on, my little angel.” She made her way to another room, one with a bed. Her mother had shown her an easier way to breastfeed, and it was much more comfortable than sitting in a chair.
; She lay down on the bed with Jamie at her side, watching in awe as her mouth sucked, doing overtime. Holly couldn’t help but stare at her.
Jamie really was one of the most beautiful babies in the ward, everyone said so. Even Dr. Edwards would look at her for hours and when he saw Holly, would always tell her how beautiful she was.
Finally, the day came for little Jamie to go home. Holly was a wreck, and her mind filled with worry. What if something happened and they couldn’t get Jamie to the hospital in time? Or worse, what if she died in her sleep? She voiced her concerns to Dr. Edwards.
“Calm down, Holly. Her lungs are stronger than most babies’, and she’s already had her fair share of a hard time. No more. She’ll be fine. Now go and raise your baby,” Dr. Edwards assured soothingly.
Holly smiled at him, and then looked down at Jamie. She was sleeping all cozy in the sling her father had bought. It was like a little hammock that attached to her body and stretched from around her back to her chest, the perfect place in the entire world for little Jamie to be. “Okay. But if anything happens…”
“You’ll have your mother there, who just happens to be one of the best nurses I’ve ever met. I doubt she would let her granddaughter want for anything, including the best care. Trust her.”
“You’re right.” Holly finally relented, giving Dr. Edwards a hug, and trying not to squeeze Jamie between them in the process. “Thank you. For everything. None of this would have been possible without you, you do know that, right?” she added as they broke their hug. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost them both.
“It was with absolute pleasure, and she really is a gorgeous baby, Holly.”
“That she is.” Holly smiled.
“Will you do me a favor?”
“Sure, anything.”
“Tell your mother I’m still waiting for her answer.”
Holly’s eyes narrowed. “You asked her on a date?”
He laughed. “I would be so lucky. No, I asked her if she would consider working here at Seattle Memorial. We need more women like her.”
“I will... wow! When did this happen?” Holly’s expression was a mixture of astonishment and shock.
“A couple of days ago, but she told me she needed some time to think it over.”
“I’m sure she will.”
Dr. Edwards said goodbye, just as his beeper went off. “Got to go, sorry, duty calls.”
“Go save some babies.”
He smiled at Holly and waved as he walked away in the opposite direction.
Bennie had been sent to pick them up, and Holly smiled when she saw a big ass, expensive baby seat in the back of the car. Her father had really became the dad she’d always wanted, and she hoped to God he wouldn’t change when she shared her future plans with him. Or when he found out that a doctor was the twins’ father.
Bennie dropped them off at the motel Jane was staying in. When she walked in, she was overtly surprised.
Jane had arranged for a cake and a homemade banner, which read ‘Welcome Home, Jamie’ and had been hung on the wall. Even though it wasn’t their home, her mother’s gesture meant a lot.
They had tea and a slice of cake as they talked about their next steps.
“Mom? I need to tell you something,” Holly said, whilst playing with her last bite of chocolate cake.
“What is on your mind, baby girl?”
“I’ve thought long and hard about this, so don’t go thinking it’s a spur of the moment kind of thing. I want to go back to school.”
Jane smiled. “Children have the tendency to do that to a person. Rethink their goals for the future to make sure they have a better one than you had.”
Holly returned her smile, but it soon disappeared. “Don’t judge me when I tell you what it is I want to do, please.”
That made Jane frown, but before she could utter a single word, Holly blurted it out.
“I want to go to medical school.”
Her mother’s entire body puffed up.
“It’s not what you think, okay? I don’t care about him in the least. He’s less than the dirt attached to the soles of my shoes. And especially not after what he’s put me through, us through. I promise you that if our paths ever cross, I will run my legs off in the other direction. He will never know.”
“Then why, Holly?”
“I want to help the women who are in the same position as I was. They don’t need to go through that. They shouldn’t have to go through that.”
“You want to become a baby catcher?”
Holly laughed. “There is nothing wrong with being a baby catcher. I want to prevent what happened to me from happening to them. You said it yourself, no mother should go through that.”
Jane nodded. “As long as you do it for the right reasons. But it’s clear that yours are. I’m just not sure if, or how, you’ll manage to hide from the Peters’, Holly. They’re a huge family, and each one wants to be smarter than the other. I mean, Jake really made a name for himself. There are even rumors that he has been offered an internship in China with Dr. Huyo, not to mention the rest of the Peters’.”
He’s going to China?
“I don’t want to talk about them. Please. They are the scourge of the earth and have no clue what life is about. As far as I’m concerned, they’re in the wrong profession! I’m doing this for the right reasons, Mom, and I’m doing it for me.”
“Okay, Dr. Scallanger. How do you propose we get you through medical school? ‘Cause I can promise you this, Charles Scallanger is going to close his hands if he discovers who the father is.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll find a way, study hard, get good grades, get a scholarship. If that doesn’t happen, then I’ll borrow it. I really want to do this. No, it’s more than want, I have to do this. It’s like this has been my purpose all along.”
Jane caressed Holly’s cheek, a sad smile on her face.
“I’m going to need your help too, Mom.”
“With what?”
Holly laughed. “With getting this one big.”
Jane smiled. “Now that, my darling daughter, would be my pleasure.”
4 years later
THE SUITCASE SAT OPEN ON THE BED.
The past four years hadn’t been easy for twenty-eight-year-old, Holly Scallanger. She’d lost one child, and raised another on whatever she had.
If it hadn’t been for Jane, her mother, she wouldn’t have known how life would turn out. Her decision to become a doctor hadn’t made life any easier, either. It was with thanks to the Lord that he’d created her with a good head on her shoulders, and placed people in her path who saw talent when it stood in front of them, hence being awarded a scholarship.
If it hadn’t been for all the good that had ventured her way, well, she wouldn’t have had the very suitcase that sat open on the bed that day.
“How many sleepies, Mommy?” the curly black head asked.
Her ice-green eyes made Holly’s heart skip a beat every time she looked into them. Jamie truly looked so much like her dad, but as hard as it was, Holly thanked the Lord every night for having Jamie in her life. The almost four-year-old had been nothing but a blessing, and Holly couldn’t imagine life without her.
“Did you find the calendar?”
Jamie hopped off the bed.
She really should get a haircut, Holly thought. The girl’s black curls almost reached her bottom. Just a trim though.
If there was one thing Holly loved, it was Jamie’s curls. She had them, too, but because of all the pulling and tugging caused by Jamie as a baby, Holly had cut it all off, so short she could barely put it into a ponytail.
Jamie returned with the calendar, one almost as big as she was. She flopped with it onto the bed, out of breath. “Here you go, Mommy. That thing is heavy.”
Holly laughed as she went to the drawer next to her bed, retrieving a black marker, and went back to the calendar. She paged through the first five months until she got to June.
&nbs
p; “That’s your birthday date, and I promise I will be here, okay?”
Jamie’s eyes continued to stare at the round circle her mother had drawn, her tiny lips pulled down in a frown.
“What is it, peanut?”
“That is a lot of sleepies.” Jamie looked into Holly’s eyes, her bottom lip now trembling a little.
“I know,” Holly said, picking Jamie up and setting her on her lap. She gave her daughter a big hug. “Remember what we spoke about?”
Jamie nodded.
“I need you to be a brave little girl, and also be good for Nana.”
“You won’t go into the rainbow, too?” Jamie asked with a squeak in her voice.
“I promise. I’m staying as far away as I can from any rainbows, except when I’m chasing one. But I would still keep my distance as nothing, and I mean nothing, would ever take me away from you.” Holly’s heart turned into a knot as she thought about the rainbow.
Jamie was smart, too smart for a three-year-old, but it was to be expected. Her father was a genius, and Holly thought she had a pretty good head on her shoulders, too. She’d gotten it from both sides.
Ever since she was two, she’d asked the daddy question. Holly couldn’t bring herself to tell a two-year-old the truth; Jamie wouldn’t have understood, anyway.
So instead of telling Jamie that her daddy hadn’t wanted her, she did the opposite. She told Jamie that he loved her, but he was stuck in a rainbow. The story evolved as she got a little older and Amelia, Robin, Grandpa Gus, and all the others made their way into the rainbow, too. Every single one of them lived in a rainbow.
She was grateful that the Peters’ were easy to google, so she ended up printing their photos. She’d stuck them in a book with their names above each respective picture. It was the only thing Holly had been able to do as Jamie’s questions kept on coming. She wanted to know everything.
Imperfect Love Page 33
