She had been serious when she’d told him he couldn’t come inside.
There was no way she was going back to the way things had been between them before he left. She didn’t want to find herself in his bed temporarily, and certainly not if it meant Brendon was going to be there as well.
It wasn’t because she disliked Brendon or that she hadn’t enjoyed their previous time together, but Jessie had moved on. At least from that part of her life. It had been fun, just like she told Braydon. The sex had been incredible, and she wouldn’t change what had happened even if she could.
But her feelings for Braydon had overpowered everything else, and in the end, she’d been left with a broken heart, even if she had intended to keep things casual going into it.
This man was capable of shredding her fragile feelings without even trying.
It didn’t change the fact that she was grasping hopefully at what he was saying. Could they make this work? Was it possible that they could move forward without moving back? And if that was the case, how did they go about it?
“Brendon will eventually understand, Jess. He knows how I feel about you,” Braydon explained.
It would still feel like a betrayal to her. She studied him for a moment and then asked the one question that had boggled her mind for longer than she cared to admit. “And how do you feel about me?”
Braydon stood up straight, backing away from her just a little. She could see some of the same emotions she’d witnessed before flitting across his handsome features. Brendon had told her that Braydon loved her. Was it true? Would he admit it if it was?
And if he did, what was she going to do about it?
Braydon turned away as he sighed.
“I never meant for it to happen, Jess. I knew, just like you did, that it was supposed to be temporary. Everything is temporary where Brendon is concerned. I don’t know how he ended up like that, or why he seems to think that he has to hold back, but I’m not like him in that regard.”
Jessie was listening, trying not to read between the lines. But even in doing that, she didn’t hear what she wanted to hear. “When did it stop being temporary for you?” she asked, pushing him to open up to her.
Not that she was being fair, because she had no intention of giving away her true feelings. Not yet anyway. This man had abandoned her—even if he didn’t see it that way.
“The first time I kissed you,” Braydon said, turning to face her again. “Everything changed from that moment forward, Jess. I . . .”
Jessie waited, holding her breath.
“I fell in love with you,” he said in a rush. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t plan it. It just happened. I know I fucked things up for all of us, but I couldn’t stop what I was feeling.”
Jessie’s heart began an erratic beat, swelling with emotion and hope.
“I don’t know what that means for us,” he continued. “I just know that I can’t walk away from you again.”
“But you did once,” she reminded him, reminded herself.
Braydon gripped the back of his neck again and turned away. She could see the battle he was having internally, and she wanted to both comfort him and question him. She opted for questioning because until she had answers, she knew that they’d never get past this. Before she could get another inquiry out, Braydon continued.
“I didn’t want to leave you, Jess. I thought I was doing the right thing. Giving you space, giving Brendon space. But most importantly, I had to come to grips with what I was feeling and how I was fucking things up.” Braydon kept his head down as he went on. “I was being selfish. I know that now. I wanted—I still want—you all to myself. I don’t want to share you anymore. Not with my twin, who I’ve shared every other woman with; not with anyone. Can you understand that?”
She did. More than she wanted to admit.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” she told him, purposely not answering his question.
Braydon turned again, his hand falling to his side. She felt the penetration of his heated gaze fixed on her and she closed her mouth, swallowed.
“Tell me this, Jess. Do you want this? Do you want to see where this goes?”
God, here was the part where she sliced herself wide open and allowed him the ability to crush her heart into a million pieces.
But she couldn’t lie to him.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I do.”
“Do you want to take it slow?” he asked, taking a step closer.
No, she didn’t, but this was the part where she was going to lie to him. If they didn’t take it slow, she was going to end up hurt. Or worse, everyone else was. And above all else, Jessie knew she didn’t make sound decisions when it came to men. But this man was different. He deserved everything, and she knew in order for her to give him that, they were going to have to take baby steps. “Yes,” she said, locking her eyes with his. “It’s the only way it’ll work.”
Braydon moved closer again, eliminating the gap between them. All the oxygen in the air around them disappeared when he put his hands on her hips, pulling her close. She watched as he leaned down. “Then we’ll take it slow, Jess.”
And when he pressed his lips to hers, the heat engulfed her, making her tremble with a need that had built for months and months, the desire to have this man all to herself, to focus all her attention on him.
God, he could kiss.
The way his tongue slid into her mouth, seeking, searching, tasting . . . Jessie met him halfway, sliding her tongue with his, relishing the warmth of his body against hers. The rest of the world fell away as he held her right there on her front porch, kissing her like a man who’d been dying to do so.
Jessie knew what he was feeling. She’d dreamed about this moment, never believing it would be possible though. Yet here they were, and she was scared to let him go, scared he would walk away and never come back.
Braydon was the one to break the kiss. He stood up straight, but his hands didn’t leave her waist.
“We’ll take it slow,” Braydon told her. “For now.”
Jessie nodded.
“But I want you to know that things will be different.”
Jessie frowned. “How so?”
“I’m not that man. I’m not the guy you’re used to. The one who sits back and watches and waits for instruction. I’ve spent my entire life doing just that, and I’ve always held back. I won’t hold back. Not anymore. Not with you.”
Jessie knew he could see the shock on her face. The seductive tone of his voice drifted over her, causing goose bumps to break out on her skin.
She found herself being walked backward until the hard wooden post pressed against her ass and her shoulder blades.
“If it were up to me,” Braydon whispered, leaning down once again, his mouth hovering right by her ear, “I’d strip you right here and slide my cock deep inside of you. I’d remind you of what you’ve been missing. What we’ve both been missing, Jess.”
Jessie moaned when Braydon pressed the hard ridge of his erection against her belly.
“Once I’m inside of you again, I’m not gonna stop. I’m gonna fuck you until you’re screaming my name. My name, Jess. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” she muttered, the warmth of his breath tickling her neck.
“Do you think you can handle that?”
No, but she was more than happy to try. “Yes,” she said to him. “God, yes.”
When Braydon pulled back, Jessie wanted to beg him not to go. She wanted to take his hand and lead him into the house and straight to her bed.
But she didn’t. Rather than push them both too fast, Jessie just stared back at him, her chest rising and falling as she tried to take deep breaths while her blood roared through her veins and her pussy ached to be filled by him.
“For now we’ll go slow.” Braydon grinned, that sexy half smirk
that she loved so much tilting his lips. “But I can’t promise that I won’t make you burn for me. I want you to go to sleep at night thinking about what it’ll feel like when I’m above you, sliding deep and then fucking you hard.”
Another moan escaped her and Jessie knew she had to get him to leave or she was going to go back on her word.
Braydon’s hand caressed her cheek softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yeah. If I recall, I promised you a date.”
“Where are we going?” she asked, suddenly looking forward to tomorrow.
“Let me worry about that. You just get a good night’s sleep.”
Braydon pressed up against her once again, and this time Jessie wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, crushing her mouth to his. It was a no-holds-barred kiss that threatened to burn them to a crisp right there on her front porch. She gave as good as she got, and when she was seconds from giving in to him she pulled back.
“Tomorrow,” she said, the single word coming out on a strangled breath.
Braydon grinned again, and Jessie knew . . .
She knew without a doubt that she was in for the ride of her life. She only prayed that there was an airbag, because she feared she was going to need it.
chapter ELEVEN
The following morning, Braydon woke up with a smile on his face.
It was the first time in weeks that he hadn’t wanted to roll back over, cover his head with his pillow, and avoid the dawn of a new day. He heard Brendon moving around the house, and even though he knew it might not be the best way to start the day, he wanted to catch his twin before he disappeared. Something Brendon was getting rather good at.
After making a quick detour to the bathroom, Braydon headed to the kitchen. He opted to forgo his morning coffee. Last thing he needed was something to ramp up his energy. As it was, he felt as though his skin was too tight for his body.
Jessie.
Just the thought of her made him smile. He still had a hard time believing it was real. Second chances were rare, and Braydon had never been involved in anything like this, which meant he wasn’t taking it for granted. Not that convincing Jessie that things could work between them was going to be easy.
“Mornin’,” he greeted Brendon as he retrieved a banana from the hook that the bunch was hanging on.
Brendon grunted in response.
“What happened last night?” Braydon asked, turning to face his brother as he reclined against the counter.
Brendon was rummaging through the refrigerator, apparently not finding what he was looking for if the ruckus was anything to go by. Bottles clanked together when he stood up and shut the door.
“Not a fuckin’ thing,” Brendon growled.
“Whoa, man. What the hell happened to your eye?” Brendon met his gaze across the room and Braydon noticed the pain etched on his face. It went nicely with the black eye his brother appeared to be sporting.
“I ran into a fist. What the fuck does it look like happened?” Brendon retorted as he stormed out of the room, his voice carrying behind him.
Okay, clearly Brendon wasn’t in the mood to chat.
“We need to talk,” Braydon said, purposely keeping his voice soft enough that maybe Brendon wouldn’t hear him.
When Brendon marched back into the kitchen, Braydon realized he hadn’t been quiet enough.
“Talk, then. I’m all ears.”
Braydon stared cautiously at Brendon. He took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. “I wanted to apologize.”
That obviously wasn’t what Brendon was expecting to hear, because his eyes widened, his head cocking to the side.
“What? I’ve been known to apologize before,” he said, jokingly. Sort of.
Brendon didn’t so much as crack a smile. “You don’t have anything to fucking apologize for,” he argued, his hands planted on the center island that stood between them.
“Sure I do.”
“Bullshit. I’m the one who fucked up. I fucked everything up. God damn it!” Brendon pushed back from the counter, gripped his head with both hands, and then once again stomped out of the kitchen.
Braydon was at a loss for words as he watched his brother retreat to the other room.
Okay, so that wasn’t how he had expected this discussion to go. He had anticipated Brendon nodding his head, agreeing that it was about time he came clean. Seeing Brendon pissed off shouldn’t have surprised him, at least not if his attitude over the last few days was anything to go by, but honestly, Braydon was having a hard time reading his twin these days.
“What really happened last night?” he asked Brendon when he joined him in the living room after tossing the banana peel into the trash.
“I fucking lost it,” Brendon said, his voice calmer than before.
“Who’s the lucky bastard with the fucked-up face?”
Brendon glared at him and that piqued his curiosity.
“Dalton Calhoun,” Brendon finally said, sounding somewhat remorseful.
“Are you fucking serious?”
“Yeah, but he’s fine. I’m the one who ended up with a fucked-up face. I didn’t hit him.”
“What?” Braydon exclaimed. “He hit you?”
“Not exactly.”
Braydon’s muscles tensed. The idea of anyone attacking his brother brought out a side of him that he rarely connected with. Sure, he’d been front and center to many fist fights over the years. In the small town they lived in, guys lined up to take a shot at him and his brothers. Mostly his brothers. But Braydon wasn’t one to back down from anyone.
When Brendon didn’t clarify, Braydon opted for a different tack. “Zane told me that Dalton, Cheyenne, and Cooper are going on tour together.”
“Did he also tell you that she’s with him?”
“With him with him?” Braydon asked.
Brendon’s expression—the one that said Are you really that dense?—made Braydon feel like an idiot.
“No, he didn’t mention it.”
“Well, she’s not.”
Okay, now Braydon was really fucking confused.
“She’s not with him?”
“No. Dalton told me not to believe everything I hear or read where he’s concerned. Apparently, the press likes to make up shit about celebrities.”
Well, that was just common sense, now wasn’t it? Braydon didn’t say as much though. It was obvious Brendon wasn’t in the mood for joking.
“Let me get this straight. Dalton and Cheyenne aren’t together, but they’re going on tour together. And somewhere during this enlightenment last night, you got hit in the face.”
“Yeah,” Brendon said, sounding defeated as he dropped into his chair.
“By who?”
“Does it matter?” Brendon retorted, albeit softly.
“It does if there’s some guy’s ass that I need to kick.”
Brendon looked up at him and laughed. A genuine laugh that wasn’t laced with apprehension.
“I was a dumbass,” Brendon told him. “I lost my shit when I saw them together. Just like always, I fucked up.”
“What’s with all the self-deprecating bullshit?” Braydon asked defensively.
Brendon was silent for a minute, the hostility in the air rising once again. And when he started to speak, Braydon rested on the arm of the couch across the room.
“I’m the one who owes you an apology. I fucked up. And I’m not looking for your fucking pity. I don’t know what’s got into me lately.” Brendon paused and looked down at his hands before continuing. “I owe Jessie an apology, too.”
“Yeah, you do,” Braydon agreed sternly. “And if I ever find out that you try to use her again, it’ll be my fist you run into.”
Brendon looked up at that, but he didn’t argue. Bray
don saw the misery on his twin’s face.
“Did you ever think we’d get to this point?”
“What point’s that?” Braydon replied.
“The point where we’re going our separate ways.”
Braydon didn’t like the way Brendon said that. It was as though he expected things to change completely. “I’m not going anywhere,” Braydon said.
“You did,” Brendon argued, a hint of frustration in his tone. “Do you know how fucking hard it was when you were gone? I felt so fucking lost. But I think I needed it. It got me thinking.”
Braydon waited for him to continue.
“I realized that I’ve been running both of our lives for so long. I didn’t stop to think about the fact that things are changing between us.”
“They don’t have to.”
“They do,” Brendon countered. “You’re in love with Jessie. How that happened, I don’t fucking know, but I get it. I do. I tried to come between the two of you. No matter what you think, it was because I was jealous. And then there’s Cheyenne. She’s fucking with my head.”
“She is?”
“Well, not intentionally, no. I can’t stop thinking about her.” Brendon dropped his head into his hands, his elbows resting on his splayed knees. “She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“I doubt that.”
“It’s true,” Brendon said, his voice somewhat muffled as he hung his head. “And I get to take the blame for that as well. I pushed her when I should’ve left well enough alone.”
“Did something happen between you two?” Braydon inquired.
“No. Doesn’t mean I didn’t want it to. I just didn’t go about it the right way.”
“Have you talked to her? Or, you know, apologized?”
“Hell no. That’d be the right thing to do. I’m long past doin’ what’s right.” Brendon laughed gruffly, dropping his hands and leaning back to look at Braydon. “I’m too busy trying to make things worse between us. Every time I see her . . . God, when I’m around her, I’m just so fucked-up in the head. She makes me want things that I don’t fucking want.”
Braydon Page 15
