“Kat, you have everything I want. Your smile makes my heart melt, your voice gives me chills whenever I hear it, and God, every time I hear Jayce flirt with you or when I found out he kissed you, I wanted to rip his head off. I want to protect you, and I want to love you.”
“You don’t even know me. How can you love me?”
“I know what you do to me, and I want to get to know you. I want to know all about you, but most of all, right now I want to know what is going on with you because I feel the need to protect you but I don’t know what from.”
“You can’t protect me, everything that has happened is done, and I have to live with it. There is no saving me from myself.”
She gets up suddenly and grabs her duffle and purse and heads for the door. She turns around really fast and says, “Thanks for everything, but I have to go” and then she is gone, running down the stairs and out the door to the alley. By the time I snap out of it and stand up, rushing to the door, down the stairs, and out the back door, she is gone, nowhere to be seen. What the hell just happened?
Katarina
I run down the alley and around the corner as fast as I can. I’m not sure where I am going, but I have money in my account so I know I can find a cheap place to stay. His words were so sweet so kind, but he doesn’t know what he is getting when it comes to me, and I can’t tell him—not now, and I don’t know if I ever can. He wants to love me, but I’m not loveable. No one wants me in their life, no one needs me. I’m walking up the street stuck in my own head when I run into something, or someone. For a second, I hope it’s James, but then reality hits me again. This isn’t James, it’s Trent—again. This can’t be happening to me. Before I can turn and go in the opposite direction, I am in a narrow alley between two buildings pinned to the brick wall with his hand over my mouth.
“You made me look like a fool tonight and ruined my chance to go after Bren.”
I bite his hand and drag in a breath of air. “You made yourself the fool, you bastard. You raped me and took my virginity that night. Stay the fuck away from me and Bren. You are a worthless asshole who needs to be locked away.”
Smack. A hand to the face, knocking me off balance, I hit the ground with a thud. He is right in my face now, full of rage.
“You bitch; how dare you accuse me of rape? You wanted it just as bad as I did. Keep your mouth shut about this and that night if you know what is good for you.”
He turns and walks away, leaving me on the ground after a good kick to the stomach. My first thought is my baby, then secondly the pain of the impact. What is happening to me? How did my life get so fucked up?
This is not what I thought my eighteenth birthday would be like. It was supposed to be fun with friends, and fireworks, cake, and music. What the hell happened to my life?
I get up slowly, gripping the wall for support, and find my bag a few feet away. I start to walk back out of the alley to the main road when I see his face, and it’s angry. He takes one look at my face and brushes his thumb over my cheek where Trent smacked me.
“Kat, what happened to you? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine; it was nothing. I just ran into an old friend who had a grudge.”
“At one in the morning? Kat, please come back to my place, at least for tonight.”
I hurt; both my mind and my body, and I give in. I let him lead me to his place. I struggle up the stairs but make it without him noticing how much pain I am really in. When he opens the door, he leads me to his bed, drops my bag by the foot of it, and walks away. I think to myself that I was right, no one wants to be around me. Before I can have a complete thought or lie down, he is back with ice wrapped in a towel and he lays it on my face.
“Here, this should make that feel better. Let me go grab some Tylenol for your head, and then I will leave you to sleep.”
“Where are you sleeping?” I ask.
“I’ll be on the couch, sweetness. As much as it will kill me to be that far from you, that’s where I’ll be.”
As disappointed as I am that he won’t be by my side, his words are warm and inviting, and I realize his anger isn’t toward me, but to the one who harmed me. I take the Tylenol with a glass of water, settle in, and fall asleep fast.
Alone.
James
I get to the main street and have no idea where she disappeared to. Then I hear her voice in the distance, and fear rips through me with the tone of her voice. I run in the direction I thought I heard her and come to an alley where I see her stumbling. Rage flies through me the second I see her fall against the brick wall. I kneel down to her and put my hand to her face where I notice a bruise starting to form. I know she didn’t want to stay with me tonight, but I make her come back to my place; it’s too late in the night for her to go anywhere else.
After settling her in with the Tylenol and the makeshift ice pack, I lie on the couch, tossing and turning with my thoughts. What is going on with her? I am determined to figure it out in the morning. I need to make her talk to me.
Just as I am actually about pass out for the night, I hear her scream in pain. I get up and run into my bedroom and see her curled up in the fetal position. When I look closer at her, I see tears in her eyes.
“Kat? Are you okay, what’s going on?”
“I don’t know … My stomach … So much pain.”
“What can I do? Do you need to go to the hospital? I’m taking you to the hospital, let’s go.”
I help her out of my bed and pick her up in my arms. I carry her to my car, set her in the passenger seat, and drive her to the hospital. As I am driving, I notice she is still curled up into herself and crying. I lay my hand on her leg to reaffirm I am there for her. When we get to the entrance of the ER, I slam the car in park, run around to the passenger side and scoop her into my arms, running through the double doors.
“She needs a doctor; I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She’s in so much pain.”
A nurse comes over to us, notices the color of her skin and the pain in her eyes, and ushers us to the back. I lay her on the bed as the nurse takes her vitals and starts asking questions.
“Sir, can you go to the check-in counter and fill out her paperwork?”
“I don’t know how much help I will be but I can try. Can I bring it back here for Kat to help me fill it out?” I ask.
“Sure. Can you just go get it so that we can move forward and figure out what is wrong with her?”
Katarina
So much pain.
I am grateful that James had to leave the room so that I could tell the nurse that I am pregnant without him in here.
“Okay, sweetie, what happened to you tonight? I see the bruise on your face, is there anything else you want to tell me?”
“I’m eleven weeks pregnant and was assaulted in an alley tonight around one; my attacker kicked me in the stomach. He doesn’t know I’m pregnant.” I angle my head toward the door.
“He is going to know before too long. We are going to have to check that baby out, so unless we don’t let him back in here, and I don’t think that will happen, you may want to talk to him.”
James comes into the room with a clipboard in hand and a weird look on his face. The nurse excuses herself and behind James’ back, gives me a pointed look. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“So, I just realized I don’t know anything about you besides your first name and age. We need to change this; I need to know you. Everything about you. I wish you would talk to me, let me into that pretty little head of yours.”
“Funny you should say that, I do have something I need to tell you, and it is better you hear from me than the doctors or nurses here.”
He grabs my hand and looks right into my eyes. “Tell me, anything, everything. What is going on?”
“James, I’m pregnant. I am about eleven weeks along, and I am scared out of my mind right now. That jerk who hit me in the face kicked me in the stomach too”
He wraps his arms around me
, puts a kiss on my forehead like he has done before, and then looks into my eyes. “Kat, it’s going to be okay. I am here for you no matter what, but I want to talk to you more about this later once I know you’re okay.”
How did I deserve someone like James in my life? How did I get so lucky? At least for the moment he is sweet and kind, but I see darkness behind the light with my news. I am lucky that he doesn’t seem to judge me, but seems like he is angry—full of rage. I have a feeling that later I will feel the wrath of his anger and be assaulted by a thousand questions. I am not sure if I am ready to tell him everything, but I want to. He is the only person I truly want to tell everything to.
James
Who the hell got her pregnant and when? I would have pegged her for a virgin. Eleven weeks ago she got pregnant … I will find out more, but right now, I need to be here for her—she’s so scared. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her forehead and make it be known she is what is important to me at this point. I think she sees what lies behind the kindness and concern. I think she sees the rage and the anger. I just hope she doesn’t think it’s toward her.
I start asking her the questions on the papers while we wait for the nurse to return a few minutes later, holding her hand the entire time. I am there for her, and I want her to know it.
Katarina
The nurse comes back into the room with a cart of monitors and straps.
“Are the forms filled out?”
James hands her the clipboard and immediately goes back to holding my hand.
The nurse looks at me with an approving look and proceeds to tell me we have to hook me up to these monitors on my stomach and starts strapping them to me. I hear this faint thumping sound from the monitor and ask. “Is that the heartbeat?”
“Yes, and it is sounding strong, that is a good sign, Kat. We are going to monitor you for a little bit while we wait for the doctor to arrive. Then we will go and get the ultrasound tech and take a look at your baby. How is the pain now?”
With tears in my eyes, I answer, “It isn’t as strong like before, but it is still there, more of a dull feeling now.”
I look over at James, and he still has an unrecognizable look on his face. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I do recognize the look of concern etched into his face. He hasn’t let go of my hand the entire time. I wish I understood why he is being the way he is. I know he said he wants to love me, but I am no one to love. I am too messed up right now to be loved. Right now, I can’t think of anything to do with James so I concentrate on the feeling I feel the most—happiness. The sound of the heartbeat in the room just made it real. I have a baby inside me, and I have to do whatever I can to protect it.
The nurse continues to take my vitals and look at the monitor and has a happy look on her face. I hope that means that everything is okay; that everything is going to be okay.
“I’ll go get the doctor and the ultrasound machine. Have you seen your baby yet?”
“No, I had an appointment set up for next week.”
“Well, looks like you are going to get a treat today.”
The nurse walks out, and James looks at me, like he is looking through my soul.
“Kat, when we find out everything is okay with you and the baby, you are coming back to my house. You can stay with me for as long as you need to.”
“James, I can’t stay with you, you hardly know me. I am pregnant with some other guys’ baby, and no, just no. I can’t.”
“Yes, you can, and you will.”
The doctor knocks on the door and comes into my room. Saved by the doc, I think to myself.
“Katarina, hi, I am Doctor Knox.” He shakes my hand as he introduces himself to me. “So from what I understand, you were assaulted tonight and kicked in the stomach. Is this correct?”
I take a glance over at James, and the concern is gone and replaced with rage.
“Yes, that is correct. I started having severe pains a few hours later and came straight here.”
“Well, it looks like the baby has a strong heartbeat,” he says as he looks at the long paper coming from the monitor machine. “Do you still have severe pain, or has it subsided?”
“The pain comes and goes but not nearly as bad as it was before.”
“Well, I like the looks of your vitals and your baby’s heartrate so let’s move on to the ultrasound. Let me just go get the tech with the machine.”
He walks out the door, and the second the door shuts, I feel the anger coming off of James. His hand tightens around mine, and he looks right into my eyes.
“You never said he kicked you. Who was it?”
“No one you need to worry about. No one that needs to know I am pregnant. No one that I ever want to see again.”
“We will talk more about this later once we are home.”
Home. I like the way that sounds, but I can’t play house with this man. I can’t let myself believe that it is possible. I can’t tell him my secrets. He will never look at me the same again.
The doctor knocks on the door again, and a technician walks in behind him with the machine. Right now I am excited and terrified at the same time. What if something is wrong with the baby? I can’t wait to see the little one growing in my tummy.
“Okay, Katarina, let’s take a look at your baby. The technician will be doing the ultrasound, but I want to be in here to see what is going on. Now, you said there was no bleeding just the severe cramping, correct?”
“Yes, just the cramping,” I reply.
The tech introduces herself as Amy and then asks me to lift my shirt so she can remove the monitors and put some cold goo on my tummy. I also have to lower my yoga pants I had changed into earlier at James’ house so she can access the entire area.
“This may be a little cold,” she says as she squirts the goo on my tummy.
I cringe. “Just a little.”
She starts rubbing her wand across my stomach and turns on the monitor on her machine. I once again hear the heartbeat almost immediately then turn my head to see the screen. My baby appears on the screen so small and innocent, and I start to tear up at the sight. I take the hand that isn’t in James’ and cover my mouth. “Oh, my God.”
I feel James tighten his grip on my hand for a second as if he is reassuring me he is still there for me. The tech continues to move her wand around my stomach looking at everything around the baby and the baby itself. She seems to be snapping some pictures and has a slight smile on her face as she looks toward the doctor.
“Well, is everything okay?” I ask
The doctor writes something down on his form and looks up to me. “Everything seems to look okay, the baby is healthy and doing just fine. I would recommend that you go home, drink some water, and stay off your feet for a few days. If you have any bleeding, call your doctor immediately or come back here if it is really bad. I’ll have the nurse come back in with your discharge paperwork and let you finish up with Amy. You both have a good morning, and I am glad everything is okay.”
The doctor leaves, and Amy turns to me with a handful of pictures in one hand and a towel in the other.
“First off, let’s get you all cleaned up. And then you can have these to take with you.”
She wipes my stomach with the towel and pulls my shirt down before handing me the pictures in her hand. My first photos of my baby. If I though the heartbeat made it real, seeing my baby makes it even more real. I am now excited to be pregnant on top of all the stress that comes with it. I have no home anymore, and no job. Thankfully, I have some money in my account that will cover me for now.
My nurse comes back in with my discharge paperwork, and she and Amy send me on my way with my hand still in James’. Everything just got real for me.
James
We leave the hospital, and I lead her to my car. I am so full of different emotions, but besides the concern I feel, I have rage building every step I take. I don’t know how it happened, but I fell for this girl sitting next to me. The worse thing w
ith that is that I don’t think she feels the same way about me, or if she does, she is hiding it well.
I want to know who attacked her in that alley, and I want to know why. She said that he couldn’t find out that she was pregnant. Who did get her pregnant? I want to know everything there is to know about this girl sitting next to me. Once I pull out of the parking lot, I once again grab her hand and hold it. I have hardly let go of it all night. The sun is starting to rise, and I need to get to the coffee shop soon to open it up. The first thing I need to do is get Kat to my apartment and settled in once I convince her to stay with me.
“Once we get home, I have to go to the coffee shop to open, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. I want you to settle in and rest like the doctor said. No argument, okay?”
“I’ll stay for today, but I have to find somewhere else to go tomorrow.”
“You really don’t, you can stay with me for as long as you need. It really isn’t a problem.”
“I really can’t stay with you, I just can’t.”
“I’ll leave it alone for now, but we will talk about it later after you have gotten some rest.”
I park the car behind my building and run around to get the door for Kat and help her out. We walk slowly up to my apartment, and I get her settled on the couch with a bottle of water, a blanket, and the TV remote.
“I have to go downstairs and get the shop opened. As soon as Kelly shows up, I will come back up here to check on you.” I put a kiss to her forehead and walk toward the door.
I look back at her, and she has a look on her face I don’t recognize. I wish she would look at me with more than fear, or is it confusion? Right now, though, I will take the fact that I have her in my house.
Katarina
I am in his house; it feels right, but then, on the other hand, it feels so wrong. What keeps going on in my head is the fact that he doesn’t know me, and I don’t want him to know me. I have so many things wrong with me I don’t deserve his kindness. I don’t deserve his love in any form. I need to get out of here before he gets back. So, I decide I need to call Bren. I know she is pissed at me, but I also think it is time I fill her in on my secrets. Make her understand that it isn’t my fault I got pregnant with Trent’s baby, that I didn’t even want to have sex with him. I need to tell her what he did to me so she stays away from him. I pick up my phone, knowing that it is early, but hoping that she will understand. I hope she even answers my call.
The Night He Saved Me Page 7
