by Susan Lewis
‘No, not me,’ David said wearily. Then, releasing the dog from the chain, he said, ‘I’ll be in touch when I’ve seen Stirling. Have you got your mobile?’
Pierre patted his pocket.
David nodded, then, getting into his car, he turned it around and drove off towards the gates.
The yacht moored at the far, end of the Canto Port in Cannes rocked gently in the water as David strode across the deck, his taut, handsome face showing nothing of what he was feeling inside.
As he banged open the cabin door Stirling looked up from his breakfast, feigning surprise with pleasantly arched brows, but when he took breath to speak David’s voice cut across him, a whiplash of fury.
‘You’ve gone too far this time, Stirling,’ he growled. ‘I could have you up on charges of harassment . . .’
‘So you’ve told me many times before,’ Stirling answered mildly, leaning back with his coffee. ‘So you go right ahead and—’
‘I’m not talking about me!’ David seethed. ‘I’m talking about Penny Moon and what you’re doing to her. She’s an innocent party in this, Stirling. You’ll get nothing from her.’
‘No?’ Stirling said, the smugness in his voice inciting David’s temper further.
‘There’s nothing to be got, Stirling! You’re wasting your time and you know it.’
Stirling was shaking his head. ‘No, David, what I know, what we both know, is that I’m pretty close now to getting what I’m after. And from what I’ve been hearing, Penny the Moon could bring me a whole lot closer.’
‘Are you crazy!’ David yelled. ‘What the hell do you think she knows that no one else does?’
‘That’s what I was trying to find out last night,’ Stirling answered. ‘And I might have done if she hadn’t tried raising the dead with that fucking alarm of hers. Still, I got outta there before having to face the embarrassment of a break-and-entry charge. That would have given you a moment’s light relief, wouldn’t it, David? Sorry to have disappointed you. So what did she tell the cops?’
‘Wouldn’t you like to know!’ David said savagely.
‘Not really. ’Cos, you see, I already know she didn’t call them.’ He cocked his head thoughtfully to one side. ‘Funny that, wouldn’t you say, that she called you and not the cops? But you know what that tells me, David? It tells me that our friend Ms Moon is trying to protect someone.’
‘And you don’t think waking up and finding the fucking bogeyman in her bedroom that someone might just be herself?’ David snarled.
As Stirling shook his head he was grinning at the description of himself. ‘Nah,’ he said, ‘what I reckon is she was protecting you.’ His eyebrows came up as his smirk widened and he looked at David through narrowed eyes. ‘Or someone else.’
‘You’re in fantasy land, Stirling,’ David snapped. ‘I told you, she’s an innocent party. She knows nothing, because there’s nothing to know. Christ Almighty, you’ve turned my life upside down trying to find something, anything, and you can’t do it. So why don’t you just back off . . .’
‘But Gabriella knows something, doesn’t she, David? Isn’t that why she won’t let you see your kids? Isn’t that why your mother won’t have anything to do with you?’
‘What goes on between me and my wife is none of your god-damned business,’ David raged.
‘But I reckon it is my business, and my guess is when Gabriella gets to hear about Penny the Moon she’ll make it my business.’
David’s face was ashen. ‘To hear what about Penny Moon?’ he said quietly. ‘There’s nothing to tell, nothing . . .’
Stirling chuckled. ‘Does Penny the Moon know?’ he said.
David knew exactly what Stirling meant, knew too that he was on very dangerous ground now. ‘I told you already,’ he answered tightly: ‘she knows nothing.’
Stirling sat forward, helped himself to more coffee, then turned his gaze back to David. ‘It’s a cosy little setup you got yourself over there with that magazine,’ he said, dropping three lumps of sugar into his cup. ‘But it don’t fool me, David. Not for one minute is it fooling old Robert here. And I wonder what Penny the Moon will have to say if she finds out how you’ve been using her?’
David’s jaw was like rock. ‘No one’s using anyone here, Stirling. No one except you.’
Stirling seemed to find that amusing and laughed for some time. ‘My, oh my, how we do fool ourselves,’ he said. ‘But this wasn’t something you expected, was it, David? You didn’t count on falling for that woman, now did you?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ David responded icily. ‘But what I will tell you is this: if you don’t lay off her now . . .’
Stirling’s chubby, ringed hand came up. ‘Spare me the threats,’ he said calmly. ‘I’m gonna bust your ass, Villers, and you know it.’
‘So you keep telling me,’ David snapped, ‘but you’re never going to find what you’re looking for, Stirling, because it isn’t there to be found.’
Stirling licked his lips, as though relishing what he was about to say. ‘I guess you know that Penny the Moon’s got herself involved with Christian Mureau?’ he said, apparently studying his nails but all the time watching David from the corner of his eyes.
David was very still. ‘Christian who?’ he asked.
At that, Stirling started to laugh again. In fact, he seemed to find it so funny that he went right on laughing until eventually he started to choke. ‘Nice try,’ he wheezed, wiping his mouth with a napkin. ‘Yeah, that sure was a good try, Villers. Pull the other one next time, we’ll get to hear a host of heavenly angels. Better still, we might get to see a few laurels sprouting their way through those boyish curls of yours.’
David’s eyes were fixed on him; not even by so much as a flicker of a muscle did he betray what he was really thinking. ‘You’re going to have to make yourself clearer, Stirling,’ he said smoothly.
‘Is that so?’ Stirling said, rocking his bulk back and forth. ‘Then let me do just that. Penny the Moon is seeing Christian Mureau. And you, Villers, just like me, know exactly who Mureau is. And by my reckoning that’s gonna do your little set-up over there no end of good. What do you say?’
‘What I say is Penny’s life is her own affair. It’s got nothing to do with me and even less to do with you. So butt out, Stirling, and leave her the fuck alone or you’re going to have some serious explaining to do to people you won’t want to explain to.’
Stirling’s grin was so wide it was almost painful. ‘Did Gabriella ever tell you,’ he said, ‘you’re kind of cute when you’re mad?’ Then suddenly his expression changed completely, and as he leaned forward the darkness of hatred and vengeance clouded his eyes. ‘Start counting the days, Villers,’ he warned, and, tightening the belt on his dressing gown, he got up and walked out of the cabin.
‘So Italy is still on,’ Penny smiled, nestling the phone with her shoulder as she annotated a document in front of her. ‘When will you be there?’
‘Saturday morning,’ Christian answered. ‘The Delaneys won’t be able to take you, I’m afraid. Can you get a train?’
‘Of course. How long will you be staying?’
‘A few days, maybe a week. Do you think you’ll be able to get away for that long?’
Penny hesitated as an unbidden thought of David suddenly flashed in her mind. ‘Yes. Yes, I think I can stay that long,’ she answered, pushing the guilt aside and rotating her chair to look out of the window.
‘Good.’ Then after a pause he said, ‘Penny, I wish it didn’t have to be this way . . .’
‘It’s all right,’ she assured him, the intimacy in his voice warming her right down to her toes. ‘It doesn’t matter which way it is as long as we’re together.’
‘I love you,’ he said softly.
The words hit Penny’s heart in soft ripples of joy and she was about to answer, when her door flew open and David stormed in.
‘I have to go,’ she said, colouring. ‘Call me again soon.’
She hung up, then turned to David and almost cowered from the rage in his eyes.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ he hissed, slamming the door behind him.
‘What am I doing?’ she cried, guilt instantly inflaming her temper. ‘What I want to know is what you’re doing, barging in here—’
‘You know what I’m talking about,’ he cut in viciously. ‘I’m talking about Mureau. Christian Mureau. How long have you been seeing him?’
‘How dare you speak to me like that! What I do and who I see in my own time is none of your damned business.’
‘It is when you’re associating with the Mureaus of this world,’ he told her savagely. ‘Don’t you care what he is? Shit! Do you know what he is?’
‘Yes, I know,’ she said defiantly. ‘So there’s nothing you can tell me—’
‘You know!’ he seethed. ‘Then, Jesus Christ, how can you be such a god-damned fool? Don’t you realize the position he’s putting you in? You’re harbouring a criminal, Penny! He’s wanted by the United States Government for drug offences the like of which you can’t even begin to imagine.’
‘Well that’s just where you’re wrong, David Villers. I know what he’s done. I know everything there is to know about Christian Mureau. And you, just because you’ve heard a few stories here and there, jump to conclusions that—’
‘I don’t believe I’m hearing this,’ he seethed. ‘Are you blind, or are you just plain fucking stupid? We’re talking about drugs, Penny. Drugs. You’ve heard of them, I suppose? You know what they are? They kill people, Penny.’
‘You can leave out the sarcasm,’ she spat. ‘Of course I know what they are. But it was only marijuana and that doesn’t harm anyone.’
David’s eyes closed as he slapped a hand to his forehead. ‘You can’t seriously believe that,’ he said, struggling to get his temper back in control. ‘You’re not seriously sitting there telling me that you believe a man who’s made the kind of money Mureau’s made has done it through a few dumb suckers spacing out on pot?’
‘Yes, I do believe it,’ she cried. ‘He’s not what you think he is. He’s never dealt in other drugs and he’s only ever sold to people who want it and know how to use it.’ The words sounded naïve even to her, but why not say them when she knew them to be true?
‘Christ, Penny,’ he raged. ‘Don’t you know anything? Don’t you read the papers? He’s not some kind of hero and neither is he a dealer only in marijuana. The man’s a gangster, Penny. A gangster who ran an operation that netted him more than a hundred million dollars and I for one don’t even want to think about how many lives he put in danger, or how many might even have lost their lives because of him. No! No!’ he shouted as she tried to speak. ‘I don’t care what he’s told you. All I care about is that you get out of this now!’
Penny’s nostrils flared her indignance but it was a while before she spoke. When she did, her hands were pressed tightly together and her eyes were a steely morass of resentment. ‘You can believe whatever you want to believe about Christian Mureau,’ she told him, ‘it makes no difference to me. But let me tell you this, David: I’ve met him, I know what kind of man he is and I, just like anyone else, am perfectly aware of how the press can distort things when they want to. So I don’t blame you for what you think. I’m just surprised that you of all people could be so easily taken in.’
David was shaking his head and looking at her as though the extent of his incredulity was exceeded only by his bitter disappointment. But there was more – she could sense it so acutely that it might have been she who was feeling the pain that was clouding his eyes. ‘It’s not me who’s being taken in,’ he said, ‘it’s you.’ He gave a mirthless laugh. ‘Brainwashed, more like. Shit, how can you, of all people, be so gullible?’
Penny looked away as the uncomfortable memory of Henry Miller’s words flashed through her mind.
‘Look, Pen,’ he said, putting his hands on her desk and leaning over her, ‘if it were any other man I’d tell you to get on with it. I might not like it, but I’d be the last one to stand in your way. But, take it from me, Mureau isn’t the man you think he is. You’re a decent woman, Penny, with morals, scruples, all those things that decent people have. So why are you doing this to yourself? You know it can’t go anywhere. They’ll catch up with him in the end, and where’s that going to leave you?’
Penny’s face was stony as she kept her eyes fixed on the wall beside her. ‘I love him,’ she said, almost wincing at what even to her sounded trite. Then, clearing her throat, she added: ‘And I don’t care what you say, David, he’s not the man you think he is. If you’d met him, you’d know.’
David’s head fell forward as the nightmare of the past few years of his life swamped him. If only she knew, if only he could tell her. Maybe he should, but he knew what he was up against with Mureau and he was afraid that even if he did tell her it wouldn’t make any difference.
‘Anyway,’ she went on in a small voice, ‘what is it to you what I do?’
Lifting his head he looked down at the confusion in her eyes and felt his throat constrict. ‘You just don’t get this, do you?’ he said hoarsely. ‘You don’t get it at all. I care about you, Penny. I care what happens to you. I care what that man might do to you, to your future.’
As Penny inhaled, her breath was shaken by an involuntary sob. ‘I’m not going to stop seeing him,’ she said defiantly. Then her eyes opened wide as the pain that seemed to cross his face pressed a quiet shock into her heart. ‘But thank you for caring,’ she whispered.
‘It’s not your thanks I want,’ he answered gruffly. ‘It’s your promise that you’ll call this to a halt.’
Penny was shaking her head. ‘I can’t give it,’ she said. ‘I don’t know how much time we have left together . . .’
‘And when they do pick him up, assuming they don’t pick you up too, what are you going to do then?’
Penny lowered her eyes.
‘Oh Christ, Penny,’ he laughed harshly, ‘please don’t tell me you’re intending to wait. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, you can’t waste it that way. And did it ever occur to you that if he really loved you he wouldn’t want you to?’
‘He hasn’t asked me to,’ she countered, as embarrassed now as she was desperate for this conversation to end.
‘I never dreamt you were this capable of romanticizing a situation,’ he said, a note of anger creeping back into his voice. ‘It’s like you’ve taken time out from the real world. Christian Mureau is a wanted man. He’s a criminal, Penny. For God’s sake, don’t let him turn you into one too.’
‘I have no intention of ever dealing in drugs,’ she responded hotly.
‘You know what I mean. Penny, look at me. Look at me and tell me that in your heart you believe he loves you.’
As Penny’s wide eyes came up to his the echo of Christian’s parting words on the telephone was ringing in her ears. ‘I know he loves me,’ she said. ‘And I know it’s hurting him as much as it’s hurting me. So, David, please don’t spoil what we have left together. I’ll take the consequences, whatever they might be . . .’
Banging a hand on the desk, David turned and walked to the window. There was so much more he wanted to say as he stood there gazing out at the passing traffic, things that made him want to get hold of her and shake her with all the frustration he had locked inside. But he knew already that he’d handled this badly, that he hadn’t given himself enough time to think it through before storming in here and telling her how to run her life. But Jesus Christ, Christian Mureau! How the hell could this be happening again?
Seeing him standing there looking so tired and so heartbreakingly defeated was having an unsettling effect on Penny. She wasn’t used to seeing him this way; he was always so in control of himself and any situation he was in. She thought of last night and wondered what it had all been about. Now didn’t seem the time to ask, for she was sure it was that, as much as her relationship with Mureau, that was causi
ng him to appear so agitated and . . . well, yes, powerless. Once again she felt that puzzling desire to reach out to him, to help him through whatever was going on in his life. But how could she when it meant making a choice between him and Christian?
‘Would you prefer it if I handed in my notice?’ she asked quietly.
He gave no response and after a while Penny got to her feet and walked over to him. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t know what else to say, except I’m sorry.’
He turned to look at her, his dark, blue eyes filled with a heavy emotion. Then silently he reached out for her, drawing her into his arms and holding her close.
‘This is hard for me, Penny,’ he said after a while. ‘I just wish you knew how hard.’
Pulling back to look into his eyes, she said, ‘Don’t let it come between us, David.’
His answering smile was one of resignation and incomprehension. His mouth was so close to hers it seemed the most natural thing in the world to touch it with her own.
‘I know you don’t understand,’ she said softly after she’d kissed him, ‘and I only wish I could explain it. But it’s like something inside me belongs to him and for better, for worse, and because there is no doubt in my mind that we love each other I’m going to go on seeing him.’
After a while David started to nod slowly and as she laid her head back on his shoulder he tightened his arms around her, saying, ‘I just wish you knew what you were really doing.’
Chapter 16
EVEN AS PENNY boarded the train she knew that it was going to take much longer than the journey time to Lake Garda to free herself from the terrible confusion and even foreboding that had taken a hold on her since that morning with David in her office. Of course she understood why he thought she was crazy: hadn’t she always known that anyone she told would think that way? Except she hadn’t told David, someone else had. But what did it matter who? The fact was he knew and it hurt so much to be doing this to him. She wondered why it hurt like it did, or why it should matter to him so much, but she had no answers. She hadn’t told him where she was going now, but of course he’d have guessed that it was to see Christian. Just as he’d have guessed that the reason she didn’t want anyone staying with her in the house was in case Christian turned up.
