The Suffocation of Katie

by Glenna Maynard

  The kid in front of me moves up two spots, I stumble forward trying to keep my place. Kai is right on my heels.

  “Shouldn’t you be…I don’t know in the bathroom burning toilet paper or something?”

  “Nope,” he pops the p.

  I continue pushing my tray along the service line getting a fruit cup and a water to go with my soggy nuggets and sweet potato fries. I am able to escape Kai when he has to stop and pay for his food. I meet up with Penny and Becks at a table in the back of the room, away from all of the cliques.

  “Did we just spot you talking to Kai Cooper?” Penny raises a curious brow at me, as I take my seat. “You have a thing for him don’t you?” She teases.

  “Shut up,” I quip hitting her in the center of her forehead with a fry.

  Becks laughs as Penny scowls at us both, while digging into her salad. Aaron doesn’t eat lunch with us; he has second lunch with the rest of the jocks. I really don’t get what Penny sees in the guy. She says we don’t get to see his sweet side. They don’t have a thing in common other than their good looks. Penny actually has a personality. Aaron has the personality of a grey wall. I don’t get it at all and he is such a dick. But if I say anything, she will turn against me. I don’t ever say anything to Becks about it, because he would try to defend my honor, and Aaron would kill him.

  “Kai Cooper is bad news Katie; you shouldn’t talk to him,” Becks warns me. I hate when he gets all big brother on me. No guy who talks to me is ever good enough, according to him. He always finds something negative to say about them.

  “Why is that Becks? Do you know him personally; has he done anything to you?” I ask suddenly feeling defensive of Kai. Strange, must be because he stuck up for me with Aaron.

  “What’s up freak and geeks?” Darla slams her tray down on the table with extra force, interrupting my conversation with Becks. Freak is a term of endearment coming from Darla. I don’t know what to make of her, she sort of flutters from table to table during lunch every day. She likes to have a friend in every circle. She is such a future politician, but I totally love her.

  I watch my friends as they joke and moan about spending time with their families or going on trips for spring break. Mine will be spent with just my mom, Mrs. Jennings and me. Mom never talks about her family. I know nothing of them. It’s as though my mom didn’t even exist, until she had me.

  “Hey,” Becks shouts snapping his fingers in front of my face.

  The bell has rang and I have zoned out as usual. I dump my tray quickly and scurry to the gym. Whomever had the bright idea of giving me Phys Ed after lunch needs a knock on the head with a hammer. Like I want to run suicide laps after eating that crap food. I barely have time to change into my t-shirt and shorts.

  I am still trying to manage to get my dark brown shoulder length hair into some type of ponytail. No matter though, I always end up with loose strands that just won’t stay put. My sneakers squeak across the gymnasium floor as I take my spot in the lineup. Our school’s mascot, a tiger, is painted to look like he is ripping through the center of the floor. If I were a tiger right now, I’d rip out my P.E. teacher’s throat for wearing those god-awful 1988 bologna roll bangs. Very few things irritate me honestly, but there is just something about her bangs. They seriously appear as though she rolled them in a single hot roller and didn’t bother in unrolling them. Hideous.

  Ms. Haggerty blows her whistle. “All right guys. Fall in line. Stretches.”

  A girl from my art class moans about menstrual cramps and gets off easy, being allowed to walk laps around the gym, unlike the rest of us who have to bend and stretch like a twisted pretzel.

  I am bent over touching my toes when I have that eerie feeling that someone is watching me. Peering through the gap in my legs, I see him. Kai. What’s his deal? I pretend not to notice him. When I no longer sense his presence, I safely glance to make sure he has gone.

  Moments later, I am paired with Raven Scott, for sit-ups and pushups. If ever there was a poster child for everything not to do in high school, it would be her. When we were freshmen, Raven went homebound. Rumors circulated that she got knocked up by some guy she met at a college party and she put the baby up for adoption. I don’t know if any of that is true though.

  I think her and Kai have an off and on relationship, which leads me to question her decision making even more. That’s probably who he was staring at, not me. I feel like an idiot. ‘Paranoid much Francis,’ I say under my breath. You only wish he was staring at you, I scold myself. Wait…I what? No, no. I am so close to getting out of this place without any attachments.

  “So are you going to Aaron’s party this weekend with Kai?” I ask her trying to make conversation with her. I haven’t ever really talked to Raven before. I just know what Penny has relayed back to me.

  “Hardly,” she snorts, and rolls her eyes as her chin hits her breasts. I continue holding her ankles in silence. Guess they are off again. She stops mid crunch and pauses to speak. “He has a thing for you.”

  Confused, I wait for her to elaborate, but she doesn’t. “He who?”

  She gives me this duh expression. “Kai. He’s always near you. Haven’t you ever noticed?” She looks at me as if I should already be aware of this information. I shake my head. She must be mistaken. The only thing Kai likes is giving me is an occasional stare down. And don’t I love it when he does! Stop it Katie, you are seriously thinking about Kai Cooper too much!

  “I think I am one of his least favorite people,” I tell her feeling nervous about the thought of him wanting me; because I know a part of me wants him too.

  “He isn’t what you think he is. He is a really good guy. People say things in this school, ya know. I know what people say about me.” She shrugs her shoulders indifferently.

  I really don’t know what to say because I can’t argue with that. I know people say many things about her. We switch positions, she holds my ankles and we settle into an uncomfortable silence. I feel like I should say something but I am not sure what. I think I preferred us not talking. Now I feel obligated to find out what she meant about Kai.

  The whistle blows and we are divided into two separate teams for dodge ball. After taking a beating at the hands of the biggest girl in our school, I am back in the locker room getting ready for third period. One of my favorite classes. Art. But going to art also means seeing Kai Cooper. I can’t seem to escape him today. We are finishing up our current project—Giving Thanks. The assignment was to create any form of art we wanted as long as it showed what we are most thankful for. I chose to do mine about music.

  At least in here, I don’t have to worry about Kai being able to stare at me, he sits on the other side of the room up front near the window, and I sit closer to the door but at the back of the class. He would have to crane his neck pretty far to watch me in here.

  I get to my station and cannot help but notice Kai hasn’t come to class yet. I don’t know why I am even looking for him. Why do I care? I never cared before did I? Or have I always watched for him and just never noticed I was doing it until today? I find myself growing more irritated with every passing second and I have forgotten what I was even painting. My music note is now just a black glob. Wonderful. I stretch the edges of my blob out in small strokes working my mistake into my design.

  I get lost in touching up my painting; it isn’t until I am putting my supplies away that I notice Kai in his area doing the same. Stupid jerk, making me notice him.

  Curiosity gets the best of me and once the class is empty, I nonchalantly walk to the window and sneak a peek at his painting. Interesting it’s of a guitar. I didn’t know he played. Upon further inspection, I notice a marijuana leaf painted faintly on the bottom left corner. There is the Kai I know. I roll my eyes but laugh at the same time. Mrs. Nelson will have a conniption when she sees it. By this time, I have missed half of break and start making my way to my locker so I can finish the school day out in the hell that is known as chemistry.

&nb
sp; Chapter 3

  “Katie, is that you sweetheart?” My mom glances at the front door as it shuts. As if, it would be anyone else. She is inside the bathroom doing her hair. She is securing her blonde bob wig as I go to the fridge to pilfer for a snack.

  I check the date on the yogurt cup as I peel the lid back and lick it. It went out of date yesterday, so it is still good. My mom has a variety of wigs. Her hair changes depending on whom she is entertaining for the evening. You would think she would schedule most of her dates while I was at school. Some she sees on their lunch break but others she sees on their way home from work before going home to their wives. Men are disgusting pigs.

  I wouldn’t call my mom a streetwalker. She has been doing this for as long as I can remember. She has tried her hand at normal jobs, but they never seemed to work out other than the diner. I think she works there so she can meet more men. The men she sees are regulars. I make it my business to know where she is and when to a point in case something were to happen to her. As much as I hate what she does, she is my mother and I worry about her. I toss my yogurt cup in the trash and place my spoon in the sink.

  Sinking down on the couch, I flip the TV on. We don’t get cable but we pick up a few of the local channels for free. The news is on. I don’t really like watching but I like the buffer it serves between my mother and I. Great, they are predicting a major snowstorm that has the capability of causing power outages. The news anchor goes on to talk about safety tips and ways to prepare in case of an emergency. He goes on about a weather radio. I didn’t think they even sold radios anymore.

  My mom makes her way into the small living room spritzing her perfume. Not like, it does her any good, as much as she puffs on her Marlboro Reds. “You look great.” I give Nancy Francis the compliment I know she was getting ready to fish for.

  “You think?” She flits her fingers through her wig trying to give it a natural tousled appearance. Next, she does her signature slow spin. My mom is beautiful. She doesn’t look forty, more like late twenties early thirties. Dressed in a red sweater, over a pair of gold shiny leggings, with black hooker boots. At least that is what I refer to them as. They remind me of the ones Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman. If only my mom could be so lucky as to land a billionaire. Then I wouldn’t be babysitting for the Millers this weekend. Then I could go to a party like Aaron is throwing. Not that I want to go to his party. I’m just saying, if I did want to go, I’d be able to go without worrying about the consequences of giving up a week’s worth of cash.

  “Do you have choir?” She smiles at me, moving over to the record player, blasting my ‘Fleetwood Mac’ record. She knows it’s my favorite.

  “Yeah,” I lie through my teeth. Knowing either way I’m not staying here to hear her moans and the groans of Mr. Thursday. “What time is your date coming?” I find if I treat her job as though she is just going on a real date, my mother is more forthcoming with her information.

  “Around five thirtyish.” She continues waltzing around the room lighting candles, setting the ‘mood.’ I’ll be gone by five just to be safe. “Is Becks going with you?” She narrows her eyes at me with a smirk.

  “Yeah,” I lie not wanting her to worry. She doesn’t like me walking by myself at night. She says the streets aren’t safe for a young pretty girl at night. She is one to talk. But it isn’t like anything interesting ever happens around here. I think the most exciting news we have had in years was when a body turned up in the river. It only ended up here because of the current. The crime didn’t happen in our little town.

  Taking my worn copy of Jane Eyre from my bag, I skim over my favorite passages. My mom goes back to doing whatever else she does to prepare.

  ~**~

  I must have dozed off for a short while. My mom is nudging my shoulder gently and telling me I will be late for choir. After stretching and wiping the drool from the corner of my mouth, I grab my bag and throw my hoodie back on.

  A few blocks over, I duck into Beans, a small coffee shop. I still have money left on the gift card Penny gave me for my Christmas so I splurge a little on a latte and a vanilla crème cheese Danish. When I get to the counter to order Raven greets me. I didn’t know she worked here. She gives me a weak smile and fills my order. I grab a seat by the window so I can people watch. I often wonder where people are rushing off to and imagine that they are leading these great lives, when in reality they are probably just as bored and lonely as I am.

  I pull my journal out, jot down a few thoughts about life, and mainly scribble some doodles in the corners of the pages. I take my time savoring the warm vanilla latte and pick at my Danish like a bird. No need to rush. I have nowhere else to be for a while. Sometimes I make my way to the train station and walk along the tracks or I will sit on the benches and watch the birds while dreaming of someday catching a train of my own out of here. Not that I could ride the trains that pass through, they only haul coal.

  I nearly jump out of my skin when a flattened palm smacks against the glass by my head. Looking up I see Aaron and Penny. As they make their way inside to my table, I shove my journal in my bag. Aaron is the kind of jerk who will swipe it and read it aloud if given the opportunity.

  They grab the seats on the other side of me. Penny shivers and he wraps his arms around her hugging her tight. “It’s colder than a snowman’s balls out there,” Aaron jokes. I shake my head at him and Penny giggles.

  “What are you guys up to?” I ask, Aaron normally has basketball practice and Penny says it always runs late.

  “Not much, getting ready to go to dinner with my parents. Saw you in the window thought I’d kill some time. My dad had an emergency at the office. Who knows when we will get to eat? But you know how my mom is. Family dinner isn’t family dinner unless everyone is accounted for.” Penny rolls her eyes. Her dad is a copy editor for the local newspaper. What kind of emergency could he really have?

  Aaron leans forward putting his elbows on the table. “You coming to my party with Penny Saturday night?” he has an amused grin planted on his face.

  “What party?” I play dumb. I don’t want Penny to know Aaron already invited me. Penny will want to know when I talked to him without her.

  Aaron winks at me knowing I just lied to my best friend.

  “I’m having a thing; everyone who is anyone is going to be there. Other than that pumpkin headed douchebag you two hangout with.” Aaron looks back and forth between us. Penny smacks Aaron on the arm for dissing Beckett. Aaron is such a jackass.

  “Well I would much rather hang with Beckett. I’m not everyone or anyone.” I stick my tongue out at him and grab my bag from the empty seat beside of me. My latte is cold and gross now.

  Penny looks down at her phone. “We better get going too. My dad says he’ll be home in about fifteen minutes.” Aaron starts kissing her. It rather sickens me. He looks like he is trying to swallow half of her face. No, I definitely wouldn’t want him to ever to kiss my ‘frog lips.’

  I leave Penny and Aaron to suck face.

  Walking home, I am flabbergasted when I spy Penny’s dad leaving my house in a mad dash. Please God don’t tell me he is Mr. Thursday… After seeing him hop in his truck, I wait for as long as I can stand the cold, debating whether or not I want to broach the topic with my mom. Shivering, I decide I’d rather not know. I don’t want that sort of thing hanging over my head. The guilt of not knowing what to do with the information would be too much to bear. As I said before Penny has the perfect everything.

  I debate sitting on the porch for a minute longer but then the wind blows making me cringe and shiver. The quicker I get inside the better. When I get inside the door, my mom is still in her room. I head straight to mine and gather up my things quickly to hop in the shower so I don’t have to face her yet. I hope that by the time I get out, I will have long forgotten seeing Mr. Thursday, possibly anyway.

  Chapter 4

  I was able to escape my mother last night. Shortly after I hopped in the shower, she cracked
the door open to the bathroom to tell me that she was headed out to go for a drink with Carla. Of course she was. She had been paid. She had booze money. I wouldn’t call her an alcoholic but she likes to have a good time. I was dead asleep whenever she found her way home. She is still sleeping now, as I get ready for school. Shimmying into my jeans quickly, I stub my toe on my dresser but bite my tongue. I don’t want to wake my mom. I know it’s horrible of me but I try to avoid her at all cost if I can.

  I go to fix my usual bowl of cereal and there isn’t any more milk. I could have sworn there was a half-gallon left yesterday. Checking my wallet I have fifteen dollars, I have enough money to grab a chicken biscuit from the Grab ‘N Go. Taking my phone out I start to text a message to Becks to let him know to go on without me, when my phone buzzes.

  It’s Becks. “Hey,” I answer wondering why he is calling me so early.

  ”I have a dentist appointment this morning so I will be checking in late. I don’t know if I will be at lunch.”

  “Okay cool, catch ya later.” Becks is supposed to be getting his braces off soon. He has had them all through high school, so I know he is excited to have them come off.

  Closing the door quietly I lock it behind me and I wave to Mrs. Jennings as she salts her sidewalk and steps. Taking my knit cap from my bag, I pull it down tight around my ears and pull my hood up as well. The air has a bone-chilling feel this morning. I close the latch on the gate going through my usual routine until I get to the street I normally meet Becks on, I go the opposite direction to the Grab ‘N Go.

  Once inside I splurge on an orange juice to go with my chicken biscuit. They don’t really have much of a selection to choose from but they have fantastic biscuits. It’s really warm in here; I dread going back into the cold and walking the rest of the way to school. I grab a seat in one of the booths designated for those who are dining in. I pull my notes out from History class and give them a once over. Mr. Lowe is notorious for Friday pop quizzes.