“That’s beautiful Kat, that’s the way I feel when I’m with you. You’re the missing piece of me that I never knew was absent.”
When we get back to the room, I don’t know what Kai says to his mom but she doesn’t say a word when he sleeps in my bed holding me all night. Memories of my childhood haunt me as I sleep. Opening up to Kai has opened up things I shut away years ago. Flashes of a strange man coming into my room at night. Hearing my mother laugh, as I scream no, to please stop! My arms thrash and my legs kick, but the pain doesn’t stop it gets worse.
A scream escapes my throat and I begin to shake violently. I awaken to Kai tugging on my arm telling me to wake up that it’s only a dream.
“What did your mother do to you Katie?” he begs me to tell him what I was dreaming about as his mom flips on my bedroom light to see what is going on. I don’t want Kai to hear that my mother used to let men touch me when I was in middle school and that I blocked the memories out only to remember it now.
Kelli tells Kai to go to his room. He goes reluctantly.
“Katie, you can talk to me. I won’t judge you and whatever you say to me won’t ever leave this room unless you want it to.”
It takes me probably an hour to get through it all. Kelli then admits to me that she recognized the signs in me. She works with social services and abused children. She hugs me and tells me that we don’t have to tell anyone if I don’t want to but that if my mom tries to contact me again she wants to file a report on her. The convention we are here for is because she is a guest speaker for a charity for sexually exploited children. We hug and we cry.
“Katie you will always have a place in my family, even if you and Kia don’t work out. I’m not saying you won’t but the two of you are young and have so much ahead of you.” I understand what she is saying because I worry about what the future holds for Kai and me too. Right now, I can’t think past graduation for us as a couple.
“Try to get some sleep, I will be in meetings most of the day tomorrow, so Kai will be helping you with Khloe. I am making an exception and letting him stay in here with you tonight.” She hugs me again and tells me goodnight.
Kai comes back in my room and doesn’t say anything. He holds me but he seems distant.
“You don’t have to stay with me tonight Kai. I understand if you see me differently.”
“What gives you that idea?” he sounds offended.
“Because you act like you are afraid to touch me right now. You either think I am dirty or made of glass.”
He grabs my face and smashes his lips into mine harshly. “Nothing could ever make me think you are dirty Kat. I just didn’t want to take advantage of you when you are upset. I. Love. You.”
I feel relief wash over me because Kai accepts me, dirty, broken and used.
“I just want to forget that part of me,” I tell him.
“Baby, that makes you who you are. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You did nothing wrong, that was all whoever hurt you.”
“Please Kai; I just want to block it all out again. I don’t want to remember, help me forget that anyone has ever touched me but you.”
He gets up and locks my door, taking his shorts off as he comes back to bed.
Chapter 19
The next few days of our trip pass by us in a blur. Kai and I have grown closer if that is even possible. Khloe has kept us busy from sun up until sun down. That kid has crazy energy, even with the sun draining us each day. We’ve built sandcastles and played in the waves. I am pretty sure I have sand stuck in places that I didn’t even know existed on my body. We stuff ourselves with corn dogs and cotton candy. Kai won both of us stuffed dolphins playing one of those silly carnival games where you shoot water at ducks and try to knock them over.
The rest of the band is coming sometime today. Kai is using the excuse that the guys need to crash in his room for another reason to sleep in my room with me. His mom is on to him though. She tells him that we can ask for a roll away bed for him, and he can either sleep on it in her room or his, but not in mine. I thinks she knows Kai and I are intimate, with how touchy feely he is with me. If Kai is isn’t holding my hand or kissing me, he is staring at me. Not that I am complaining.
I have been getting sad face texts from Raven all day telling me I had better keep Jake in check for her. They are playing tomorrow night at some club, and then we are leaving Friday morning. Jake said I might not get into the club since I am not eighteen. Kai says he will tell them I am their backup singer if he has to.
I cannot wait to see him play on stage. I know I have watched the guys practice but that is nothing compared to this. Raven has me on strict orders to take a video of their performance so she can post it to their site and YouTube channel once we get back home.
Kai has gone to meet the guys downstairs and bring them up to the room. Kelli said she is treating herself, Khloe and me to an evening at the spa. We are getting facials, mani-pedis, and massages. I am looking forward to being pampered. It gives Kai a break from us too. I don’t want him to get sick of me, because we are always together now that I live with his family.
Jake, Hunter and Vance come straggling through the door looking rough. They drove straight through only stopping for gas and piss breaks as Vance puts it. Khloe says, “Bad Vance you owe Khloe a dollar.”
He gets his wallet out and hands her a five. “Here this should cover the rest of the day,” he jokes.
Kai’s mom shakes her head and tells Khloe and me to come on before we are late for our evening of pampering.
By the time, I leave the spa, I feel buffed and polished all over. There was an awkward moment when Mrs. Cooper and I talked about getting Brazilians. She said she didn’t even think of it when she made my appointment, it came with the package. I am sure Kai will appreciate it greatly, but I didn’t tell her that.
Back in the room, I have a note from Kai telling me he went out to dinner with the band. I am glad he is out having a good time. I eat dinner with Khloe and Kelli in the room. She ordered from the hotel restaurant and had it brought up for us. This is the sort of thing a girl should be enjoying, with her own mom, and my heart aches for what I have never had with my own mother.
I notice it is getting late and Kai and the guys haven’t come in yet. Guess he will have to wait until tomorrow to hear about my new look, in my intimate area. When I get in my bed, I pull my phone out and see that I have a missed text from Raven.
Raven: Are you out with the guys?
Me: no, been hanging with Kelli and Khloe, why?
Raven: Jake sent me a picture of them at the club they are performing at tomorrow night and there was a bunch of slutty looking bitches sitting with them.
She forwards the image to me. My stomach drops seeing a pretty, busty blonde sitting between Kai and Hunter. I remember his words, ‘there will be lots of girls and I will flirt with them for my music.’ I am trying not to let it get under my skin, Kai wants to be a musician, groupie girls comes with that life.
Me: I am sure it is nothing. Don’t worry.
Raven: Easier said than done. Jake has never been a one girl kinda guy.
Me: I wish I had something wise and reassuring to say right now but I don’t. Just trust that he wants you to be the only girl for him, but if he doesn’t then screw him.
Raven: Aren’t you pissed at Kai? He is out with other girls without you!
Me: I trust him. Is there a reason I shouldn’t?
Raven: No just saying is all.
I think back to all of the times her and Kai have told me they are complicated. What in the hell does that even mean?
Me: What really happened between you and Kai?
I keep waiting for her to text me back but she doesn’t. I am getting sick of this. I go to bed feeling anything but relaxed. Now I am angry and confused.
In the early morning hours, I hear Kai and the guys getting in. I want to ask him where he has been all night but I don’t want to be one of those clingy naggers. I still have
Raven’s unanswered text on my mind so I probably shouldn’t talk to Kai right now. I am sure we will fight if I do.
He comes stumbling into my room knocking into the furniture. I flick the lamp on and see his eyes are glossed over and he reeks of smoke and liquor, reminding me of my mother. My stomach lurches and I run into my bathroom before I puke in the bed.
I am sitting in the floor hugging the toilet dry heaving when Kai puts a damp cloth on the back of my neck. “You okay?”
“I’m fine!” I snap more harshly than I intended to at him and he flinches.
“Why are you yelling? My head hurts,” he says.
I don’t say anything. I go over, turn the shower on, and start taking his clothes off. He reaches for my shirt and says, “Take it off Kat.”
I smack his hand away and shove him into the shower. He pouts when I refuse to get in with him. He is going to regret laying out all night if his voice sounds like shit for his show tomorrow night. He slumps against the shower wall, making a puppy dog pout with his bottom lip.
I go to shut the water off and he pulls me in with him. “Want you so bad Kat.”
“As much as you wanted that blonde you were with tonight,” I screech not even meaning to tell him I know he was with girls tonight.
“What are you talking about?” he says wrapping a towel around his cold naked body.
I stomp into my room pulling out dry clothes from my bag ignoring him. He presses against my back rubbing his hard on at my butt. “Stop it Kai!” I shove him off and he falls back onto the bed watching me change.
“Shouldn’t you be taking those off instead of putting them on?” He asks looking at me cross-eyed.
I throw my phone at him. He picks it up, looks at it for a second, and lays it on the nightstand.
“Don’t be jealous Kat. I got called a married old man all night for refusing to talk to the girls at the club.”
I am not sure why, but I believe him. I can see the guys ragging on him and giving him a hard time.
“Fine,” I say crawling into bed with him. He curls up against me and starts to snore. His mom will have a fit if she catches him in here naked, but it would serve him right for coming in wasted. Drunk people are only tolerable if you are drunk too, in my experience anyway.
I don’t sleep worth a crap. I wake up three different times and push Kai away from me. He is sweating out the alcohol he drank and I can’t stand it. By the fourth time, he wakes. “Stop pushing me away Kat, I need to feel close to you.”
“You are all hot and sweaty, and not in a good way,” I tell him.
“We can change that,” he says snuggling up to me and sliding his hand inside my bottoms.
“Fuck, Kat, did you get waxed?”
“I did.” I wink at him and roll over to my stomach so he can’t touch me.
“If you kill it on stage tonight, I’ll show you.”
“Deal,” he says showing me those dimples that make everything right with the world. I swear they should plaster posters of Kai smiling with his dimples popping out, they could bring world peace they are so sexy.
“You better get out of here and go get some clothes on before your mom catches you,” I warn him.
He groans and puts his clothes from last night on. “Did you shove me into a cold shower last night?”
“Yup, you stunk.” I scrunch my nose remembering that horrible smell. I can hear my mother in my head… ‘Ungrateful abomination.’
“Sorry Kat, I wasn’t much fun to be around last night. I would rather have been here with you.”
Hearing him say that makes me smile but I have to remember he wants to make a career out of this and he can’t afford for me to be selfish with him.
“Kai, I love you and I know how much you love your music. So, if you need to go out and be seen, and flirt with girls to get there then I want you to do that, and have fun. As long as it’s me you are thinking about, and you don’t do anything to hurt me, we will be fine.”
“Kat, flirting with other girls does hurt me, because they aren’t you.” Swoon. If that doesn’t make my heart skip a beat.
I get up from bed and plant my lips on his, and he cups my butt squeezing it tight.
I step back from him and grin mischievously. “Remember Kai, if you kill it at your performance tonight, I’ll show you this…” I pull the waist of my bottoms down and flash him the top of my bare skin.
He scrubs his hands over his face. “Killing me Kat.”
I shove him out the door before I change my mind and show him right now.
Chapter 20
Getting ready for Kai’s performance tonight has me on edge. I have a feeling that tonight something great is about to happen, for him. I don’t know why but I just do. I am freaking out about what to wear. What does the girlfriend of a future rock star wear to his show? I want to look sexy but classy. I look through the clothes I brought with me and everything I have sucks.
Kai is with the band doing a sound check, and his mom took Khloe out for the evening because she was pitching a fit about wanting to see Kai sing tonight.
Grabbing my room key, I decide this calls for a shopping trip. I walk the strip aimlessly window-shopping waiting for something to catch my eye. Finally when I am about to give up, I see it. There is a white dress with quarter length sleeves on it. The underneath is white and sheer with a cream lace overlay. I rush inside to try it on. The hemline falls pretty short above my knees, but I can totally pull it off. I find the perfect necklace to compliment it. It has a long chain and guitar pendant that falls between my breasts.
Excited I make my purchase and get back to the room so I can hopefully knock Kai off his feet when he sees me tonight.
I wash my hair and blow-dry it. The hotel has this great shampoo that tames my hair. I use my straightener to give it a finished smooth appearance. I take my time applying my makeup, giving my eyes a smoky look. I paint my lips a soft red to match my nails from my manicure yesterday. Spritzing a little perfume on my neck, I’m ready. Now I just have to wait for Kai.
Around thirty minutes pass with me tapping my foot anxiously trying not to sweat. Finally, the door opens but it is Kelli and Khloe.
“Katie pwincess!” Khloe shrieks touching my dress.
“You look beautiful Katie. My son is a lucky guy.” Kelli gives me a hug and I try not to cry at something as simple as a compliment and a hug.
I snap a picture of Khloe-bug and me. I start to send it to Raven but then I remember I am mad at her for ignoring my question.
Hunter and Vance come through the door, their jaws drop.
“Dayummmmmn,” they both say.
I laugh and shake my head when Khloe walks over to them holding her hand out expectantly wanting to be paid for their swear word. Jake comes in with Kai trailing behind him. Jake looks at me and his hand smacks Kai in the chest to look at me.
Kai swallows hard, then he smiles with those soul-piercing dimples at me, and I could die.
His mom tells Khloe she has to get ready for bed and she pouts. “Kai, Katie pwincess you no frog Kai, but Kai can kiss pwincess Katie,” she says batting her little lashes at him.
“I’ll do that,” he says squatting down to hug her. “What I really need is a Khloe-bug hug for good luck tonight.” She claps and wraps her arms around his neck. He picks her up and gives her to his mom.
The guys have gone to get ready so it’s just Kai and me in the living room of the suite. He comes to me in one easy stride. His hands are up the back of my dress and pinching my rear. When he feels that I am wearing a thong, he growls in my ear. “You aren’t going out like this. Put some leggings or something on,” he demands darkly.
“No,” I reply denying his request.
“Baby, it’s spring break. The club is going to be crawling with horny college guys and Marines from Camp Lejeune. They will be trying to hit on you all night and I won’t be able to concentrate because I will be too busy trying not to kill them all for looking at you.”
; “Kai, I’m not changing. No one could tear me away from you. Not even wild horses,” I sing the line from the popular song and he laughs at me.
“Killing me Kat.”
“I know,” I tease him. I take his hand from my butt and move it to my front. “Just remember what you are playing for tonight,” I whisper in his ear pressing his hand against my center. His finger brushes against my smooth skin and he starts pushing me towards my room.
“Oh no you don’t. Go get ready.” I shove him towards his own room. He goes reluctantly.
~**~
The guys look like bona fide rock stars as we get into the elevator at the hotel. Hunter spots some random girls in the lobby and invites them to come with us. Vance eagerly says, “hell yeah!” I just shake my head. As long as they keep their hands of Kai, I don’t care.
We all pile into Hunter’s van. I sit on Kai’s lap to make room for the newly acquired groupies. His fingers are teasing at the hem of my dress, rubbing over my thighs.
“This dress is too short.”
“Are you saying you don’t like it Kai Cooper?”
“I like it too much,” he says and I feel him twitching in his pants beneath me.
“Want you so bad Kat,” he says sucking on my neck.
“You two are so hot together!” One of the girls says watching us.
We pull up at the back of the club. Jake tells the girls they will have to go around the front to go in. They look annoyed but get out and go around the building. The guys get out and Kai tells them to give us a minute.
I scoot off his lap and he takes my hand brushing his thumb over my knuckles. “I didn’t say anything to the guys. I didn’t want to put any pressure on them. There is an agent coming to watch us tonight. Raven got an email from him through our blog. She checked him out and he is legit. This could be huge for us.”
“That is amazing Kai, he is going to love Cooper’s Religion. I just know it. I’ve had this feeling all day that something great was about to happen tonight.”
“Just don’t say anything to the guys. I don’t want to set them up for disappointment ya know.”
The Suffocation of Katie Page 12
