“Yes!” Elijah walked with a spring in his step all the way down a long black and silver hallway. At the end, laser-engraved silver signs announced the restrooms.
There was an upholstered bench against the wall opposite the restroom doors so Will and Leah sat while Elijah disappeared into the men’s room. The seats here were ridiculously comfortable. She briefly entertained the idea of smuggling one out along with the hors d’oeuvres. Resting the back of her head against the cool marble, she cast Will a playful smile.
“So. Thanks for keeping an eye on my butt.”
There he went, looking abashed again after he’d just body slammed a guy into the wall. “I wasn’t … well, all right, sort of. But I mean—”
“Relax,” she said and reached out to touch his sleeve. “I mean it. Thanks.”
He observed her hand on him, expression thoughtful, before looking at her askance. “It’s an extremely compelling bum.”
She couldn’t help the way her mouth stretched into a grin, or the way her body shifted forward, as if drawn to him by an invisible thread. “I do like it myself. In fact, I think I’ll keep it.”
“I certainly wouldn’t object,” he said, leaning closer as well.
“I’m glad to hear that. Will.” Wow, that was going to take some getting used to.
As was this urge to kiss him. She’d been wanting to kiss him since the moment he walked up to her, looking much too handsome in that suit. All she could think about when she looked at his hands was how they felt against her skin, his fingers gliding up her side, over her ribs. His palm against her breast.
He must have been thinking the same thing because his face was drawing closer. She bit her lip. He was so close.
Oh, to hell with it.
She closed the distance between them. When her mouth finally met his, her eyes shut and she gave a quiet moan of relief.
The bathroom door swung open. They sprang apart.
It wasn’t Elijah. But the guy gave them a suspicious look before continuing up the hallway back into the main party room.
Leah ran nervous fingers through her hair and settled back against the wall to restore her composure. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. My brother … I can’t right now.”
Will nodded. His hand touched her wrist. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have either.”
When she turned her head to look over at him, she could see in his face that he did understand.
This wasn’t a rejection. This was a rain check.
And the promise of it smoldered between them.
Chapter Twenty
The next hour passed quickly, and Leah knew it had to do with the company. To her surprise, she enjoyed hanging out with Will and talking about things other than their sexual problems. After the kiss outside the bathroom, Will had been on his best behavior. That didn’t mean she wasn’t still intensely aware of him, but she was grateful they could get along without their so-called addictions getting in the way.
After wandering around the building—the rooms that were open to the public anyway—and marveling at the luxury, the three of them had found their way back to the main room. Now, Will and Elijah were discussing how best to conceal stolen hors d’oeuvres, some of which were quite fragile. Leah sat nearby, resting her feet, and smiled when Will actually tried to stuff one in Elijah’s pocket.
“There you are.”
She looked up. Her mom was standing in front of her with one hand on her hip and an irritated purse to her lips.
“What?” Leah said, wary.
“Why are you hiding in the corner? Took me forever to find you,” she said. “Come to the restroom with me.”
“What do you need? Elijah—”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake,” she snapped. “It’ll only be a minute.”
Scowling, Leah checked with Will and Elijah first. She answered her brother’s questioning look with a shrug and grudgingly followed her mom.
As her mom led the way back toward the restrooms, her perfectly curled hair bounced around her shoulders and down her back. For as long as Leah could remember, everything about her mom, from the way she talked to the fall of her hair to her choice of nail color, was controlled. Deliberate. Calculated, even.
But maybe Leah only believed that because she had never been able to see past her mom’s veneer. She supposed now would be the perfect time to say something, but the words stuck in her throat.
“I caught my dress on something,” her mom said, voice clipped. “I need you to check it for any holes.”
“That’s it?” Leah muttered.
This time, they made it to the bathroom without incident. It was amazing how fancy a public restroom could be. Even the toilets gleamed.
Standing in front of the gold-framed mirrors, her mom pulled her pale coils of hair over her shoulder and presented Leah with her back. “Anything?” she asked.
Leah leaned close to inspect the back of her dress. It was a high-necked, shimmery yellow gown with simple, clean lines and a dramatic cut out in the lower back. Nothing seemed out of place.
“Looks fine,” she said, stepping away.
“Double check. I thought I felt something tear.”
“Mom, it’s fine,” she said but moved in again anyway. She ran her fingers along the slippery fabric to feel for puckered threads.
As they stood there, it occurred to Leah how weirdly normal it all felt. Mother and daughter taking a joint trip to the bathroom so the daughter could check her mother’s dress for a tear. To an outsider, it wouldn’t have been anything remarkable.
To Leah, it felt like a first, tiny step.
“So I was thinking,” she began, her eyes trained on the back of her mom’s dress instead of meeting her gaze in the mirror. “Maybe we could … I don’t know, hang out sometime.”
Her mom grew still. The muscles in her lower back, revealed through the dress’s design, visibly tensed. Leah’s stomach knotted, but she gritted her teeth and forced herself to continue.
“Maybe all three of us could have dinner next week. Dad could even join us if he wanted.” She rested her fingers against the shoulder seam of her mom’s dress and asked, voice small, “So what do you think?”
For long seconds, her mom said nothing. Then she swept her hair back to fall between her shoulder blades and turned, forcing Leah to step back. The moment their eyes met, Leah knew it was hopeless.
“Your father and I don’t have time for any of that. And you’re a grown woman. Don’t you have things to do?” She didn’t sound annoyed. Or angry. Or curious. Or anything at all.
Leah swallowed back the hurt until it settled, once again, in that familiar spot in her chest where she felt certain it had worn a hole straight through her. She had known this was how her mom would respond. She shouldn’t have bothered. She shouldn’t have hoped.
Her stomach churned with heat—anger at her mom for not caring, humiliation at herself for thinking that she might.
“It’s getting late,” her mom said. “Maybe you should leave.” She smoothed down the front of her gown and stepped past Leah.
Leah waited until she heard the restroom door swing shut before allowing herself a single, shaky breath. Then she closed her eyes against the rising burn and pushed the emotion away. She shoved it back where she should have left it and made her way back to the main room.
When she rejoined Elijah and Will, she pasted on a smile for her brother’s sake and said, “All right, ready to go?”
Elijah, who was always too observant, gave her one look and immediately came to her side. His small hands closed around her palm. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said, looking him in the eye and giving him the most convincing smile she could muster. “But I’m pretty tired, and it’s way past your bed time.”
“Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced, but he released her hand and gave Will a one-shouldered shrug. “Bye, Will. It was nice to meet you. Remember you promised to show me that move.”
Will
shook his hand and said, “I always keep my promises.”
She gave him a small nod and then tried to walk past him, but she should have known that wouldn’t work. He touched her shoulder. His warmth seeped through her skin, chasing away the chill that had settled into the empty space where her anger had been.
“Leah,” he said.
Her eyes fluttered shut. The sound of her name on his lips, spoken with painful tenderness, made that ache in her chest grow sharper. She couldn’t do this right now. Everything felt too brittle. She hated feeling this way, and she hated even more that he had to witness it.
“Have a good night,” she said and tried again to push past him.
He shifted to block her escape. His other hand came up to touch her cheek. The ache spread into her stomach. She couldn’t do this. She didn’t want to feel anything right now, and he made her feel too much. She turned her face away, and his fingers paused, inches from contact.
“Leah,” he said again. “Don’t shut me out. Talk to me.”
Because she didn’t know what else to do, she went with what was familiar to her. She sneered. “Why do you care? You don’t even know me.”
“You’re wrong,” he said, his voice quiet. He looked so earnest. “Maybe it hasn’t been as long as I’d like, but I’ve been paying attention.” He gave her a small, rueful smile. “I know that even though you don’t show it, you’re compassionate and loyal. I know this ‘I hate the world’ mask you put on is just a defense mechanism so no one realizes how much you really care. Maybe not about what others think of you, but that just means you care twice as much about the people who do matter, like your brother.”
As he talked, that blue gaze never wavered. He moved in, so close that she could feel his body heat even though his hand on her shoulder was the only place they touched. His words burned through her, setting off her pulse, which beat loudly in her ears. She resented the way her entire body strained forward, wanting to accept the comfort that he was offering. No one besides Helena had ever confronted her about any of this before.
“And when you’re hurt,” he said in almost a whisper, “you close yourself off and push everything back until you convince even yourself that it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t hurt you.”
She swallowed thickly. She couldn’t breathe. Shaking her head, she stepped back. Her shoulder collided with someone, but she didn’t bother looking even when that person muttered something rude at her.
“Don’t run away,” Will said. “Please.” He didn’t try to reach for her again, and she was grateful.
“Leah,” Elijah said. He was looking between them with a deep line between his small brows.
Seeing him brought back the realization that this was entirely the wrong place to have an emotional breakdown. She straightened her shoulders, fixed a neutral expression on her face, and gave Will a small nod.
“Thanks for … you know … trying. I have to go.” She needed to get out of here or she would do something crazy and humiliating like start sobbing in the middle of the party. She took Elijah’s hand.
“Leah—” Will began.
Before he could say anything else, she cut him off. “If you know me so well, then you should understand that I can’t do this right now. You have to give me time.”
He frowned and studied her face intently. After a few seconds, he looked away and rubbed a hand through his hair. Then he stepped back.
Without another word, she tightened her grip on her brother and fled.
Chapter Twenty-One
“I thought that we should try something new this week,” the counselor announced.
That never bodes well, Will thought.
“A field trip and a test of sorts.”
There were some interested stirrings in chairs, although the girl who filled Will’s dreams, both asleep and awake, looked like she didn’t care where they went or if any of them lived or died. She had yet to even glance in his direction.
In the midst of what had happened last Saturday, he’d forgotten to get her number. It had been a long week waiting until today’s meeting to see, and hopefully speak, with her again. He had considered trying to find her on campus but decided in the end to wait and give her the time she’d said she needed.
This was his last session with the group. Having explained the situation to his boss, he no longer needed to attend these meetings. Before leaving, though, he wanted to thank the counselor. Despite his lack of qualifications, the guy seemed to genuinely care about helping a bunch of people who took his guidance about as seriously as they would have taken a lecture on how to put on socks.
As for Leah, he had to tell her the truth. He was dreading her reaction.
“So we’re going to the bar,” the counselor told them, his tone triumphant, clearly thinking that this was an innovative and radical approach. “I know that several of you struggle to socialize normally without inserting sexual overtones into it, so we—”
Packers Cap snorted and whispered to Stilettos, “Or insert other things.”
The counselor frowned at him until he fell silent. When he was satisfied he had their attention again, he said, “We are going to have a drink and a platter of fries and just enjoy the atmosphere, without it needing to be more.”
The counselor sat back with a happy grin, and Will tried not to shake his head. As far as he could tell, not a single one of the addicts was ready for something like this. They would probably all end up seducing someone and having sex in the bathroom.
Chairs scraped against the floor as everyone stood to follow the counselor outside with more enthusiasm than any of them had shown in previous meetings. As usual, Leah moved to help the old woman navigate her way to the door.
As they stepped down the stairs to the sidewalk, the old woman glanced up at the old fashioned clock someone had hung above the front door. She said, “I hope this doesn’t run past the hour. I’ve got a show to catch.”
Leah paused with her hands at the old woman’s elbow. The old woman kept walking though, and Leah’s arms dropped to her sides as she glanced between the old woman’s back and the clock. The clock sat high enough above the front door that Will had to squint to make out the time. And it was dark, the dim glow of the street lights the only light sources, which made the clock face even more difficult to discern.
“You can see the time?” Will asked, confused.
The old woman didn’t look back as she said, “Of course I can.”
At his side, Leah’s brows rose in disbelief before she began walking again to keep pace with the others. “Then why are you always running into everything?” she asked.
“Because it’s nice having someone who cares,” the old woman said. Her shoulders moved beneath the brim of her hat, which Will took to mean she’d shrugged. “Even if you’re a stranger.”
Will had nothing to say to that. He supposed she was right, in a way.
Leah muttered something under her breath before falling silent. As they walked, trailing behind the others, they listened to the sound of cars on the street up ahead and the excited voices of the other addicts.
After a couple minutes, the busty woman glanced over her bare shoulder at them. Her corset today was the color of orange fluff overlaid with white lace. Combined with her overly tanned skin, it made her look a bit like the inside of a cantaloupe. She gave him and Leah a knowing look.
Will glanced at Leah. Her shoulders were hunched beneath her thin sweater against the cool night, her face hidden behind the fall of her hair.
“Just so you know,” the busty woman said, “if you’re willing to share, so am I.”
He had no idea if she was talking to him or Leah. Maybe both. He didn’t respond, but Leah let out a quiet snort and said nothing.
The busty woman turned so that she was facing them, walking backward with impressive balance considering the height of her heels. She tilted her head back and looked at them through narrowed, thoughtful eyes. It was probably the first time Will had seen anything resemb
ling a serious expression on her face.
“I’ve been coming to this group for almost a year,” she said, which made Will’s eyebrow twitch up in surprise. “I’ve seen a lot of people come and go. And a lot of half-assed hook-ups.”
Will glanced over at Leah, but her head was still down. It was impossible to tell if she was even listening.
“I don’t agree with that creeper in the cap,” she said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder at the other addicts who were farther ahead. “Love isn’t a bad thing. Most people just don’t know what to do with it once they’ve got it.”
“Do you?” Will asked. What was she trying to get at?
She gave a quiet laugh that wasn’t the least bit sarcastic. “Of course not. That’s why I’m still here.”
A dark curl blew across her face and she reached up to brush it back behind her ear. For the first time, Will noticed a ring around her thumb. Light from a street lamp struck the silver band, making the edges glow. It was thick and plain, with a matte strip down the middle. Clearly a man’s ring.
“Why bother?” he asked. She had never given an indication that she thought the therapy was anything but a joke.
“To remind myself,” she said, her eyes trailing away, unfocused. She clasped her hands at her tightly corseted waist, her fingers rubbing over the silver band on her thumb.
Will waited, but she didn’t clarify what she meant. He didn’t ask. It wasn’t any of his business anyway, even before he had quit the case study.
“But you two seem different,” she continued, seemingly coming back to herself from whatever memory she’d been caught in. Her gaze settled on Leah, who was still obstinately ignoring—or pretending to ignore—her.
“Different how?” he asked. Even though he wouldn’t pry into whatever ghosts she carried around with her, hidden behind her provocative clothes and blithe attitude, the psychologist in him had to wonder what she had told the old woman when they’d paired up to talk about their childhoods. He had been so focused on Leah that he hadn’t taken the time to really examine the other addicts. And writing about them in his notes had only left him feeling like a voyeur.
Heat Up the Fall: New Adult Boxed Set (6 Book Bundle) Page 33
