by Mia Sheridan
She’d eventually been sent to Lilith House. And there was no grace here, only shame.
“If we confess our sins,” Ms. Wykes’s voice broke through her thoughts, “He is faithful and just and will forgive us and purify us from unrighteousness. Isn’t that right, Ms. Thompson?”
Kandace moved her eyes toward her but didn’t answer.
“Are you ready to confess your sins?”
You’re stronger than you think you are. “Yes, Ms. Wykes.”
She smiled. “Good. Tell the other girls what you have done, and why you required cleansing.”
Kandace moved her eyes toward the other girls. Her gaze met that of Lucille, the girl she’d passed in the hallway and the girl lowered her eyes, a flash of guilt moving over her expression. She’d followed Kandace. She’d seen her entering Ms. Wykes’s office. She’d told on her. Which meant . . . it was all they knew? She pulled her shoulders back very slightly, holding back the sob of pain. You’re stronger than you think you are. She looked from one classmate to the other, hoping they could see in her gaze that though she was bent—burned and bloodied—she was not broken. “I snuck into Ms. Wykes’s office to find the drugs I brought with me,” she said. “Drugs, a tool of the devil.” She let her head fall slightly.
“Yes, drugs, a tool of the devil, indeed,” Ms. Wykes said. “Will you cast away all tools of Satan from this moment forward, Ms. Thompson?”
“Yes, Ms. Wykes.”
“Why? Why will you do that?”
She looked at her in confusion for a moment, and then realized what she wanted from her. “Because,” her voice cracked, “my utmost for His glory.”
Ms. Wykes nodded proudly, like one of her students who had formerly been severely lacking suddenly showed a sign of possibility. “Yes, Ms. Thompson. All that you are. All that you must cast away. All that you must relinquish and forsake. Your utmost for His glory. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I understand. My utmost for His glory,” Kandace repeated weakly. Behind her, the sun blazed. On her wrists, the cord bit into her bloody flesh. She cringed and shook, biting the inside of her cheeks to keep from passing out. Her eyes, so, so heavy, lifted slightly to capture Ms. Wykes in her fiendish satisfaction.
“Repeat after Ms. Thompson, girls,” Ms. Wykes said, turning toward the other students. They repeated the words in a low monotone.
Ms. Wykes, a pleased smile on her lips, raised her arms in the air and sang out the words herself, throwing her head back as though in ecstasy. “Now then. Shall we begin our service?”
Kandace wavered in and out of consciousness as the service droned on, but she didn’t let the pain make her cry out again, and not a tear slipped from her eye. Instead, she repeated the line Scarlett had whispered so lovingly to her all those years ago, drawing strength not only from the memory, but from the fact that her friend had said them with such conviction. She had believed in Kandace, and she had hoped Kandace would believe in herself too. She hadn’t then.
I will now, she promised her friend. I’ll try.
When at long last, the service was over, Kandace was untied and lowered gently, almost reverently. She bore her own weight, testing her tailbone that still ached terribly, but was not nearly the worst of her pain. Kandace let out a slow exhale as a light cloth was wrapped around her body.
They helped her shuffle back up to her room and then one of the other instructors came in, not meeting her eyes as she slathered burn cream over her skin. She lay down on her bed with a groaning sob and was tucked in under the sheets.
A few minutes after the door had shut behind them, her roommates came into the room, kneeling down next to her, their eyes red and puffy, their expressions full of anguish. Sydney reached out tentatively to touch her, perhaps to smooth the strands of hair back that had fallen over Kandace’s brow, but pulled away, her hand trembling. “My God,” she whispered. “What did they do to you?”
“I’ll be okay,” Kandace said, voice gritty with pain. She hadn’t looked in a mirror. She didn’t know what she looked like, but she had to figure her skin would scab over and heal, that they hadn’t gone deep enough to scar. She was going to feel like she had the worst sunburn of her existence for a while. She was going to be unable to sleep for at least a week as her raw skin stuck to her sheets. Her bruised tailbone was going to cause her to cry out each time she sat up. But she was going to be okay.
A tear rolled down Aurora’s cheek. “Hey,” Kandace said, “think of it as a free chemical peel. They basically gave me a cosmetic procedure that some women pay thousands for. When I leave this place, my complexion is going to be as soft as a baby’s ass.”
Both girls’ eyes darted to the door and then back to her. “Butt,” Kandace whispered. “Baby’s butt.” The girls both managed tremulous smiles.
Kandace adjusted herself on the bed, grimacing as a wave of nausea passed through her. “Oh God, I’m going to throw up,” she moaned.
Sydney jumped up and was back a few seconds later with the bathroom trash can. She slid it next to the bed in the nick of time as Kandace leaned over and vomited, the movement and the acid in her throat making her moan in pain once the worst of the stomach cramps had passed and she once again, came to rest on her pillow.
Aurora got her a glass of water and helped her drink and then, exhausted beyond anything she’d ever imagined, Kandace closed her eyes and miraculously managed to fall asleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“All buckled?” Scarlett asked, looking at Haddie in the rearview mirror. Haddie met her eyes, nodded.
Concern washed over Scarlett for the tenth time that morning. It appeared Haddie hadn’t slept at all the night before, lavender smudges marring the porcelain skin beneath her eyes, making the green of her orbs that much more startling.
As they began driving toward town to pick up Millie, Scarlett turned on the radio, adjusting the volume down low. Her gaze flickered to Haddie again, staring out the window at the forest rushing by. “You sure you feel better?” she asked. She’d questioned Haddie extensively the night before about wetting herself. Her daughter hadn’t peed her pants since she was twenty months old. She’d potty-trained early, and once she’d started wearing “big girl undies,” she hadn’t had one accident. That she’d wet herself the evening before was extremely concerning to Scarlett.
Of course, Haddie had brushed it off, saying she didn’t feel well and it was just an accident. She’d looked confused, torn though, and Scarlett got that feeling again that she was keeping something from her. Scarlett felt teary, frustrated. Alone. She’d slept like crap the night before too.
Of course, it didn’t help that even after she’d decided to schedule a check-up for Haddie, to rule anything physical out, then managed to convince herself that Haddie was a kid and kids sometimes had accidents, Camden West kept popping into her mind.
Was Haddie’s loss of bladder control related to him? No, surely not. Haddie was always very clear if she didn’t like a person. To Scarlett’s knowledge, her daughter had never pretended to like someone she didn’t.
Only problem was . . . Haddie seemed to Scarlett to be growing more secretive by the day. Something was weighing on her, she knew it, and yet try as she might, question her as she did, Haddie wouldn’t be straight with her.
You’re a loving mom who cares deeply for her daughter. Anyone with two eyes in their head could see that.
His words had consoled her, ministered to her. Damn him. Speaking of secretive. Damn Camden West and his evasive answers and vague statements.
Not much to tell. Things with me are complicated.
Right. Like her life was the picture of simplicity.
Scarlett glanced in the mirror, wondering if it was possible that he had a problem with the fact that she had a daughter. That could be a lot for a single man to take on . . . Disappointment rose inside her. Their kiss had been . . . magical. It really had been. He’d felt it too, she could tell by the awestruck look on his handsome face, and yet he’d p
ulled away. Why? Damn it, I don’t have time for this, she thought, a burst of frustration causing her to grip the steering wheel even more tightly.
God, why had she told him about Haddie’s father? Sure, she’d been mildly tipsy, but that didn’t excuse it. She’d sworn an oath—on paper and in her own mind—that she’d never reveal Royce’s identity, ever.
Scarlett refused to fall for another man who regretted touching her. Another man who made her feel half-crazy in the head. Like now. And perhaps there was no half about it.
So, nope, she was going to wipe him straight from her mind.
She turned into the neighborhood where Millie lived, driving slowly through the residential streets, large, red-flowered acacias shading the sidewalks and the small square homes. The sun was shining, birds were twittering happily, and it was going to be a lovely day.
Scarlett took a deep, cleansing breath. Everything is going to be okay.
Movement on the porch of a house just ahead caught her eye and she looked over as her car moved slowly toward it, her heart jolting as a lump filled her throat.
Camden West was exiting the small blue house with the black shutters, buttoning the collar of his uniform shirt with one hand and carrying some sort of black bag with the other. The woman behind him, leaning in the doorway, wore a short strapless nightie, her smile sleepy as she waved goodbye to him. Scarlett recognized her as the same pretty brunette she’d seen him with at the hardware store, the one who had been arguing in Mason’s office. He turned and called something to her, turning back around just as Scarlett’s car passed directly in front of the house, the smile he’d shot the woman fading as his gaze met Scarlett’s. He stopped short, his head turning as his eyes stayed on hers, following the movement of her car.
Scarlett jerked her head forward, her hands gripping the steering wheel fiercely. Her breath released in a sudden gust of pent-up air.
Well, no wonder.
No wonder he ran so hot and cold. Mystery solved.
He was involved with someone else.
He was an asshole.
At this rate, as far as she was concerned, all men were assholes. That woman had had no reason to scowl at her when she first saw her at Grady’s, but now?
God, she was mad.
So why did she also have to feel so shitty? Why did she feel so hurt?
They’d shared nothing but a kiss. Just one meaningless kiss that he’d obviously quickly regretted. And now it was clear why.
Things with him were complicated?
No, buddy, they’re simple.
And I’m a misjudging fool.
She pulled to the curb in front of Millie’s house. The curtain rustled and Scarlett watched as Millie pulled it aside, shooting them a big grin and waving from her window. Scarlett released a slow breath, trying to regain a measure of peace. Her insides felt like she’d been shaken and all her organs were rearranged.
Why do you have such awful taste in men? she asked herself. Just why? Maybe she should be asking a different question though. Why do men already in relationships find me so attractive? Gullible? She groaned internally. God, it was far too early to handle this. She would put to rest any feelings she’d had toward the deputy, which was a good thing. Her daughter deserved all her attention.
Scarlett got Haddie out of the car and then they walked hand in hand to Millie’s door, Millie pulling it open before they’d even climbed the three steps. “Good morning,” she said with a smile.
“Hi, Millie,” Scarlett greeted, handing over the bag she’d packed for Haddie. “There’s an extra set of clothes in there and her lunch.”
“Awesome.” She took the bag and looked at Haddie. “I have a really cool Fourth of July craft to work on with you today. I got started on it in the living room. Do you want to go check it out while I talk to your mommy for a minute?”
Haddie nodded. “Bye, Mommy.”
Scarlett smiled at her daughter, a burst of emotion making her feel suddenly weepy. She pulled her forward, wrapping her arms around her precious girl and hugging her tightly for a moment before letting her go. “Go ahead and check out that craft. I bet it’s really cool.”
“Okay, Mommy. See you in a minute, Millie,” she singsonged turning the corner into the living room.
“Is everything okay?” she asked Millie, a concerned frown creasing her brow.
Millie nodded, but she looked uncertain. “It is . . . I just . . . Haddie’s just the sweetest little girl, so I wasn’t sure whether to even mention this but—”
“I always want you to be honest, Millie, no matter what. If it has to do with Haddie, I want to hear it.”
The girl nodded, another flicker of doubt passing through her eyes. “Well, yesterday, we walked over to the ice cream stand a couple blocks away.”
“Yes, I told you that was fine.”
Millie nodded. “Haddie was very sweet. She has such good manners.”
“But?”
“We were walking home, and all of a sudden Haddie let go of my hand and went running across the street.”
Scarlett blinked with confused worry. “Why?”
“There’s a boy—Roger Green—who lives a block over. He’s in a wheelchair. Haddie ran straight for him, and then bent down and said something to him. I was too far away to hear what it was, but . . . well, whatever she said made him start screaming and shrieking. He was so upset, he almost hurled himself straight from his chair.” She paused, glancing over her shoulder toward the room where Haddie waited for her. “Whatever she said to that boy scared him silly.”
**********
Could this day get any worse? Scarlett wondered, glancing around the interior of her car for some wood to knock on. There was none, which, of course there wasn’t, because yes, this day probably could get worse. Not because she hadn’t knocked on wood—she wasn’t that superstitious—but because that seemed to be the trajectory of her life at the moment.
Scarlett pulled into the hardware store parking lot where she had an appointment to meet with Mason so she could pick out the industrial kitchen appliances he was going to order. She got out of her car and walked toward the front entrance. Millie’s words repeated in her mind. Whatever she said to that boy scared him silly.
Acid pooled in her stomach and she felt tears threatening. What was going on with her daughter? She didn’t get it. She hadn’t questioned Haddie after Millie had talked to her on the front porch. Frankly, she didn’t feel emotionally stable enough to do so. Scarlett took a deep breath, attempting to get her roiling emotions under control as she turned the corner from the parking lot to the sidewalk where the front of the store was. She’d give it the day and ask Haddie about it later. Had she lied about the other little boy at the church daycare when she’d said she didn’t mean to hurt his feelings? Was there some streak of meanness in her after all—brought on by the current upheaval in their lives—that Scarlett didn’t see because she was blinded by love?
Scarlett pulled the door open and ran straight into someone’s chest. He took hold of her upper arms, steadying her as she let out an embarrassed laugh. “Oh my gosh, I’m so . . .” Her words dropped off as she looked up, realizing who it was. Camden West.
She’d wondered if this day could get any worse.
Answer? Yes. Decidedly so.
“Sorry,” she murmured, stumbling back a step onto the sidewalk.
The door opened wider and another man in a sheriff’s uniform with short-cropped salt and pepper hair and deeply tanned skin appeared behind Camden. Camden stepped forward so the man could exit too. Though he was older, he was very fit, and definitely handsome. He smiled widely at Scarlett. “Well, hello.” He held out his hand and when she took it, he gave it one firm shake. “You’ve gotta be Ms. Lattimore.” He nodded backward to the store. “Mason was just telling us about the project out at Lilith House, and that he was expecting you. It’s nice to have a new face in town. Especially one as pretty as yours.”
Scarlett managed a smile. She glanced
at Camden who stared at her silently, his gaze piercing. Jerk. She raised her chin and looked back at the older man in uniform. “Thank you, sir. You must be Farrow’s sheriff?”
“That I am. Lowell Carson. How are you liking our little town so far?”
“I like it. You know, for the most part.” She enunciated the last four words as she looked at Camden who was still staring at her. She followed with a tight-lipped smile, which he didn’t return. He raised his hand, sliding on a pair of sunglasses.
The sheriff let out a laugh, his eyes twinkling. “Well, I hope the parts that haven’t quite won you over yet, manage to do so.” He looked at Camden. “Seems this little lady scooped that property right out from under you, didn’t she now?” Despite his jovial tone, something minute hardened in his expression. “Darnedest timing. Your offer came in the day Rand Burroughs over at the bank had a heart attack. Lucky for you it was.” His smile widened. “Farrow can be suspicious—even downright unfriendly—to outsiders. But once you’re one of ours, well, you gotta work real hard to get rid of us. Isn’t that right, Camden?” He looked at him, ribbing him in the side. Camden exhibited no reaction to the jab, though if something flickered in his eyes she couldn’t tell as they were now concealed behind dark lenses. “Don’t hold a grudge regarding the house. I told you it was too big for you anyway.”
Scarlett was taken aback by the sheriff’s words. Deputy Camden West had expressed interest in buying Lilith House before she had? Why hadn’t he mentioned that?
You’re just full of secrets, aren’t you, Deputy?
A little girl and her mother exited the hardware store, one of the child’s eyes covered with a patch, the other turned in slightly.
“I understand you’ll be using the property for an event business?” the sheriff asked, pulling her attention from the girl who smiled at Scarlett and began skipping as they passed by.
“Yes, that’s right. Weddings mostly, or at least that’s the plan right now.”
He paused a beat, his smile growing. She swore she saw his wheels turning, but with what, she didn’t know. “Weddings. Farrow will look real forward to entertaining new visitors to our town. Isn’t that right, Camden?”
