“I don’t know!” I stopped then and turned to him—and then I fell to pieces. “We were walking and then he just stopped! I can’t get him to respond or anything, it’s like he’s in a trance or something!”
“Ma’am, it’s okay. We’ll take care of him. Who is his doctor?”
“Oh, uh, Doctor Dyksterhouse.”
“Great. I’ll contact him right away. In the meantime you take a seat in the waiting room over there. We’ll keep you informed.”
He gently led Tucker through the lobby and they disappeared through the doors. I paced, and paced. What could possibly cause him to do this? I wondered. I had never seen anything like it in my life.
I gasped, remembering his parents and pushed the numbers on the phone until the words ‘parents’ came up. I was thankful I had thought to take Tucker’s phone from his pocket.
After the call was made to one frantic mother, I sat down in one of the chairs, put my face in my hands, and cried like a baby. I had never felt so helpless in all my life. The love of my life was sick and there was nothing I could do to help him. All I kept thinking was ‘this can’t be happening, we just found each other’ over and over.
When his parents arrived, they demanded that I tell them exactly what had happened. They seemed puzzled too. They said his seizures were never anything like this, and he hadn’t had a seizure since his brain surgery fourteen years ago.
We were all three pacing the floor when I recognized Doctor Dyksterhouse entering the room—with Tucker.
“Oh, Tucker!” I said as I threw my arms around him and squeezed. “You scared me to death.”
“I’m so sorry, June,” he responded, pulling me tight against him.
“What on earth happened?” his mother demanded from the doctor as she rubbed her son’s arm sweetly.
“Well,” the doctor began, “I’m not totally sure just yet, but it appears he’s had some kind of side effect from the head injury he sustained a week or so ago.
“What head injury?” his dad demanded.
Tucker winced. “Um, yeah, sorry I didn’t tell you guys about that. Can I tell you later?”
The doctor continued. “Anyway, I need him to stay overnight for observation and some tests. Try not to worry. We’ll figure out what’s going on.”
“Doctor, can I stay with him, please?” I begged.
“I’m afraid not, dear. He needs his rest and the testing will take a while. Come back in the morning.”
As we kissed goodbye, I felt like my stomach had fallen out and my heart was breaking. He needed me now more than ever and I couldn’t stay.
I tossed and turned all night, anxious for the next morning, and as soon as the sun was up, so was I, and I headed back to the hospital to see my man. And this time no one would stop me.
Chapter Nineteen
Tucker
The tests were exhausting, and after hours, they still didn’t know what was wrong with me. One minute I was walking down the street with June, laughing and engaged in a fun conversation, and the next minute I became aware that I was sitting in a doctor’s office with Doctor Dyksterhouse shining a little light into my eyes. It was the strangest thing I had ever experienced. I didn’t recall anything in between those times. It was as if a light flashed from one moment to the next.
I worried about June. This must have scared her senseless. I hated the thought of her being scared like that. I was supposed to protect her, not the other way around.
It was early in the morning when she arrived at the hospital and demanded they let her see me. Her persistence paid off, and they finally ushered her to my room. I hadn’t slept much during the night, and I was sure my appearance reflected that fact.
She didn’t say a word as she strolled into the room and came quickly to my bed and climbed in with me. She put her arms around me and laid her head on my chest.
That gesture alone brought me more comfort than anything else could have. I closed my eyes and pulled her close as we lay still, neither of us saying a word, just cuddling. I could almost sense her fear slipping away, and mine as well. I could feel the tears flooding my eyes, and I tried to fight them. Having her here with me meant everything to me. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, or what it all meant, and I was scared…very scared, but having June with me gave me comfort and strength.
After a while, the doctor finally came in the room with some news. My parents had arrived and we all sat together, anxiously waiting any and all enlightenment.
The doctor then began to explain that something had shifted in my brain, caused by my head injury in the park that day. Part of my brain had been damaged and was causing me to slip into a somewhat comatose state. They didn’t have many answers just yet and didn’t know if this would continue or for how long. They needed to transfer me to another facility where they could do more testing.
This was crushing news for me. I thought my health issues were over, and just when I had a reason to live a full and healthy life, this happens.
June and I were insistent that she be allowed to accompany me to this facility. My parents objected, but when we both had a fit and were making a scene, they finally agreed. This was not open for discussion. June had to be with me. If I was going to get through this, I would need her by my side.
We arrived at the Cerebral Institute some time later, and June was wrapped tightly around my side as we entered. I could feel the tension coming from my parents. They didn’t approve of June. They thought I deserved better, but they were wrong—very wrong. June was a jewel—better than any woman I had ever known, and I was blessed to have her love me. This was something I would never take for granted.
The nurses were very kind and got me situated in my own room. It was a small room, but it had a huge, comfortable recliner for June, and so I was happy with it.
My parents were having a discussion with the head nurse so June and I took the opportunity to cuddle as we caught up. I told her all about the testing the night before and how badly I had missed her.
“Are you scared?” she asked blankly.
At first I thought about lying to her just so I wouldn’t upset her any further than she already appeared to be, but then I always was a terrible liar so I told her the truth. Nodding, I answered with all honesty, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m scared.”
She gently took my face in her hands and spoke softly, her big chocolate eyes full of sincerity. “Tucker, I will be here with you, and we will get through this—whatever this is. Do you hear me? I’m not leaving you to go through this alone. And I know I should have told you sooner—but I love you, Tucker Mitchell.”
My heart squeezed. I thought I knew how she felt, but hearing those beautiful words coming from her exquisite lips was more powerful than I ever thought it would be.
“Oh, June.” I pulled her into my arms and held her tight against my chest. “Having you say that means everything to me.” I leaned back and gazed down into her now moist eyes. “I love you too—more than is rational. I hope you know that.”
She nodded as her tears began to fall.
“Please don’t,” I said, wiping them from her cheeks. “Everything is going to be fine. You’ll see. I’m a pretty tough dude.” And then I pulled up my shirt sleeve and showed her my muscle. “See.”
She laughed as she wiped at the rest of her tears. “Oh, Tucker, you’re so silly sometimes.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I know.”
The nurse, along with my parents, approached us then. “Umm, Tucker,” My dad began, “it seems none of us can stay the night with you. This facility has strict rules about that.”
June looked at me, her eyes wide with concern. “I need to stay with you.”
“It’s okay, June,” I reassured her. “You don’t usually stay the nights with me.” Then I winked at her. Okay, so it wasn’t the right time to be playful, but what else was I gonna do?
“But you weren’t sick then. I can’t let you stay in this place alone. You need me.”
The nurse a
pproached June and placed her hand on her arm. “I understand your concern, dear, but I promise you we will take very good care of him. You can come back first thing in the morning and stay all day if you like. Okay?”
June was suddenly nodding in agreement. The nurse did make it much better. I felt more at ease as well.
The nurse supervised as I said my goodbyes to everyone, and I watched in sorrow as June turned and reluctantly left the room.
Chapter Twenty
June
It took me a while to get home. I just didn’t have my usual spark to drive fast. When I finally arrived at the cottage, I needed to hear a comforting voice, so I called home to talk to my dad. Unfortunately, my mom answered the phone.
“June! It’s so nice to hear from you. How are you?”
“Oh, hello, Mom. I’m okay. Is dad home?”
“Yes, but don’t you want to talk to me?”
Uh oh, here we go. “Well, it’s just that I have something I wanted to talk to him about.”
“Fine,” she snapped. “If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s just fine. Here’s your dad.”
I cringed. I should’ve expected that.
“Hello, darlin’,” My dad said, and I could tell he was smiling.
I smiled automatically. “Hey, Daddy. I just needed to hear your voice.”
“Okay, what’s wrong with my June bug?”
He knew me so well, and I fought the tears as I then went on to tell him all about the last twenty-four hours and the episode Tucker had. He was encouraging, just like I knew he would be, and I felt better after the conversation ended. I knew he would have to tell mom about our conversation. She had made it clear the last time I talked to her that she wasn’t supportive of our relationship. She felt it was the wrong time for me to be involved with anyone and thought that if I was so determined to be a painter then I should focus on that and not boys. This just reiterated to me that she didn’t know me at all.
I strolled through the house lacking my usual zeal. The man of my dreams was in a cold hospital room all alone and with nothing familiar. As far as I knew, he didn’t even have any additional clothes. This gave me an idea.
The next morning, I arrived at the institute bright and early. I had to check in at the desk. They said he was having some intense tests done, and that even though he would be a while that I could wait in his room.
I entered his room and soon found just what I was looking for—his keys.
Twenty minutes later, I was strolling through the door of his immaculate apartment in search of some things that would make him more comfortable. It felt strange going through his drawers in search of clothes, but it was necessary. After I felt I had all I needed, I headed back to the institute.
It was all worth it when his adorable face lit up with surprise as he stepped slowly into his room. “June, what have you done?” But his expression was impressed. I had his hospital bed made with all of his own sheets and comforter, along with his familiar pillow. I had fresh clothes stacked on the edge of his bed and a bag of toiletries lining his bathroom sink. He glanced around and then turned to smile at me.
“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”
“Baby, it was no trouble at all. I would’ve just been sitting here waiting on you anyway. So I figured I might as well make myself useful.”
He took two long strides and was standing in front of me, scooping me into his arms for the best hug I had yet to have from him. But then he stumbled.
“Tucker, are you all right?” I asked, holding onto him to steady him.
“Oh yeah. The tests were tiring that’s all. I’ll be fine. I just need some rest.”
I wasn’t convinced, but I helped him to the bed and he took a seat on the edge. He pulled me to sit beside him. He gazed down at me and before I could catch my breath his lips came down on mine in a sweet but passionate kiss. I returned it with eagerness. It seemed like days since we had our last kiss, which might as well have been forever, at least it felt like it.
He pulled back and stared at me, his mouth agape as if something was suddenly wrong…and then it was. He was staring off into the distance, his expression frozen—and I jumped up and began screaming for the nurse.
Chapter Twenty-one
June
I bit my fingernails to the quick as I paced about the room. Tucker had gone into another frozen state and the doctor had been called, as well as his parents. I was worried to the point of sickness. I had vomited three times already. Watching him transition to his frozen state was heartbreaking. This time I actually got to fully witness the transition between states. It was as if he knew he was leaving me. His eyes took on a pained expression, but just briefly, and if I had blinked I might have missed it. I explained this to the doctor, and he was puzzled.
After a few hours of waiting with nothing happening, Tucker’s parents decided to leave. I assured them I would call them once he resurfaced from this.
I sat there beside his bed and stared at him, willing him to show me some sign that he was in there. I had no idea when or if he would resurface, and it was killing me. What made me mad was that he was such an amazing man, and he didn’t deserve any of this. We had just found each other for cryin’ out loud! I beat my fist on my legs as I tried to make sense of all of this. When it came time for me to leave, I begged the nurses to let me stay with him. What if he returned while I was gone! But they refused, saying it was their strict policy. Bull crap!! I was angry and heartbroken as I pulled away from the institute and headed toward home. This was the hardest thing I had ever been through in my life and I wasn’t handling it well at all. I didn’t understand how this could happen. Had I done something wrong to make God punish me? ‘Then punish me, not Tucker’ is what I wanted to say to God, but I didn’t have the guts, because, deep down, I knew that wasn’t the true reason. There had to be another reason, and though I didn’t understand, I would have to accept it—somehow.
The next morning, I rushed into his room, just knowing he would be sitting up in his bed waiting for me. My heart broke when I entered and he was still in the frozen state I had left him in.
The nurse, named Rosy came up behind me. “I’m sorry, dear. There has been no change. The doctor will be in later to check on him.
I decided to read a little to him. I had no idea if he could hear me, but I needed to do something, and reading would steady my nerves. I pulled out a book I used to love but hadn’t read in a while and began reading. When lunchtime came, I helped him to a sitting position on the bed and decided to see if he would eat. I mean I got him to walk for me, so maybe he would instinctively know what to do. The nurse had brought me a lunch so I scooped up a small amount of mashed potatoes onto a spoon and gently put it in his mouth, prepared to catch it with a napkin if it fell out, but it didn’t. He began to chew the food and swallowed. It was the strangest thing, and yet that little thing brought me a few moments of joy. I scooped up another bite, and another.
A few of the nurses came into the room and observed it all. They were surprised. They hadn’t thought to try it. No one knew how long he could stay this way, and I cringed at the idea that he might have to have a feeding tube. I was relieved to see that now he wouldn’t need one. His parents called throughout the day to check on him.
In the afternoon, I took him for a walk through the halls of the hospital. At times, I would wrap his arm around me, hoping the feeling might bring him back to me, but it didn’t.
By the time we made it back to his room I was in tears. I helped him back into bed and covered him with his comforter. I leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss to his soft adorable lips. “I love you, Tucker Mitchell. Please come back to me.” His gaze didn’t shift. He just stared out into space as if a switch had been cut off. I sat down in the chair beside him and picked up the book again and began to read.
I was midway through the first sentence when Tucker bolted up and began screaming!
“June! June! June!” he continued to scream
.
I dropped the book and grabbed him in my arms. “Tucker! I’m right here! I‘m right here!” I repeated as I rocked him back and forth.
He was panting and grabbing me tight, painfully tight. “June. June.” He seemed so scared.
“I’m here.”
“I thought I’d lost you.”
“Baby, I’m right here. I’ve been right here with you, and I’m not going anywhere.” I broke out into gleeful laughter. I was so happy to have him back again. I continued to chuckle as I rocked him back and forth. We stayed that way for over an hour, and the nurses respectfully left us alone.
Chapter Twenty-two
June
This latest episode had lasted all of two whole days. They seemed to be growing longer, and that had me worried.
That night, Tucker refused to allow me to leave. He was almost in a frenzy, and the nurses wanted to keep him calm to avoid any triggers so they allowed me to stay the night. I was so relieved, because, honestly, I didn’t think I would be able to leave him. The way he woke up needing me like I was his life-line had touched me deeply. I knew I couldn’t leave him. He was my life now, and I was his.
I crawled onto the bed and snuggled close, Tucker’s arms wrapped tight around me, and that’s the way we stayed.
The next day, the doctor came in with results from the testing. Tucker’s parents came and we all sat in the small room to get the news. He threw out a lot of technical terms that I didn’t understand, but what it boiled down to was that certain parts of his brain tissue had been damaged. They concluded that his past history with the seizures as a child most likely aided in this condition. Yet, he admitted they had never quite seen anything like his condition to where, with guidance, he was still able to perform common functions like eating and walking. This part was a mystery to them. They informed us that they were documenting his case for future cases. The end result was, in order to repair the damage, he would need a very risky surgery, with a 50/50 chance of success—and an even lower chance of survival.
My Forever June Page 6
