I knew the answer. I’d always known the answer but it still didn’t help. “His.”
She smiled, nodding slowly. “Then don’t break it. Break your own.”
I nodded, slowly managing to climb out of the chair. My legs felt heavy, my heart heavier. What I was about to do would break my own heart, but for my soul to carry on it needed to be done.
I kissed Marcy on the cheek and she gave me a wink. “You know we like Sally too. She’s as much fun as you are.”
I tutted, shaking my head in humour. “I love you too, Marcy.”
She laughed, then taking my hand, she squeezed it tight. “Go, be happy. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Always the diplomat.” David snorted, giving me a kiss as he pushed something into my hand.
Looking down, I frowned as I unfolded a small square piece of paper. My stomach lurched and I gasped. “What the fuck, David?” My voice was small but the tone high. “Where the fuck did you get this?”
He swallowed but a smile still covered his handsome face. “You never asked what I did for a living. But even if you had, I wouldn’t have told you.” He smirked. “Because then I would have had to kill you.”
“Jesus Christ,” I breathed. “How long have you known?”
He shrugged. “From the very first day I met you.”
I stared at him in shock, my eyes as wide as my mouth. I swore he could see the thump of my heart against my breastbone, the rampant, powerful thud as noisy to my ears as it was heavy in the race of my blood. “I’m worth ten million to you, but you never…”
He held up his hand, cutting me off. “I had a choice, Dove. Ten million, or a beautiful woman in my bed with my gorgeous wife. The decision was easy.” He winked. “Besides, what the fuck would I do with ten million in my bank? I have everything I need right here.” He pulled at Marcy with an arm around her waist and drew her into his side. She giggled and gazed up at her husband. Their love was very rare, and I realised for the first time that there were good people out there. And after all this time, finding one right at that precise moment couldn’t have held more significance in the next journey of my life.
“I don’t know what to say.”
He shook his head. “There’s nothing to say, but promise me you’ll go see your man first. Promise me, Dove.”
“I promise,” I whispered as I stared down at the words on the paper. Four years. Four years sat in ink on a small square piece of paper. It felt heavy but oh so light in my fingers. Even though I wanted to baulk at the futile, wasted four years, I also couldn’t move past the overwhelming feeling of finality.
Memorising every single letter, I handed it back to him. He nodded, threw it into a small ashtray and lit a match, the evidence gone in a matter of seconds.
“I know what you’re going to do with this, Dove,” David said as I stood in their front door, the chill of the night making the rampant beat of my heart settle. “But I beg that you make the right decision. You’re worth so much more than you think. People love you more than you think. Think of Ren.”
“I am thinking of Ren,” I whispered. “But I promise to go see Flick before. There are things that need to be said.”
David nodded, sadness covering his face. “Be careful, but may you be granted peace.”
“Don’t be sad, David. This is what I’ve wanted for four years,” I told him, giving his hand a squeeze. Then with a small smile I relayed the address in my head once more and walked away. “It’s time to balance the books,” I whispered.
HILARY, ONE OF the complex receptionists, smiled at me from behind the huge welcoming desk when I dragged my weary body through the glass foyer doors. She held up some mail she had for me and I made my way over to her. She had a pretty, wide smile, and the largest blue eyes I had ever seen, but both met me with a sincerity I rarely found in my profession. Being an actor, amongst other things, had shown me just how fake people were. So Hilary’s genuine greeting made me relax after the horrific night I’d had.
“Hey, Hilary.”
“Good evening, Mr O’Kane. You’re looking extremely handsome, as usual.” Hilary was refreshing, if nothing else. Many men, gentlemen, always commented on the beauty of a woman; it was considered charismatic and well-mannered¸ and I always found it enchanting when a woman offered the same gesture, even if it was a lie.
I quirked an eyebrow at her, knowing how awful I really looked. A sleepless night and an ill child never made anyone look bloody good the morning after. “It’s…” I glanced at my watch then looked back at her, “…five in the morning. I haven’t slept a wink. I need a shower and a… drink. My clothes are creased from hours of sitting in the most horrendous plastic chair on the planet. My mouth feels like a slug went on vacation in there, and my vision is so bad, I hate to tell you that right at this moment, I can’t even focus on the pretty eyes I know you have.” She gave me a sympathetic smile. “And I now know that you could never work for MI5 because you’re shit at telling lies.”
Her lips twitched and she sighed. “Well scrap that new career change I was thinking of then. It looks like I’ll have to pace out the excitement here a little longer.” She placed a hand on her heart. “However will I cope?”
I laughed as she held out the small stack of mail she had. “Oh, and a parcel came for you last night.”
I waited for her to pass me that too but when her eyes shifted behind me, I turned around. My mouth dried and I swear my heart skipped one of those tiny beats.
Dove was laid on the lobby couch, her hands tucked under her cheek. Someone had placed a blanket over her. “How long has she been there?” I asked, turning back to Hilary.
“Came in around eleven. She refused to go.”
“Why didn’t you let her in to my apartment?”
Hilary gave me a long stare, reminding of the ‘unusual’ fans that sometimes came hunting for me. I nodded. “I appreciate your caution. But if this woman comes around again can you make sure she’s accommodated as a guest?”
She nodded, giving me another wide smile. “Of course, Mr O’Kane. I’ll add her name to the approved visitor’s list.”
Walking over to Dove, something struck me and my steps stuttered. Although she looked as dishevelled as I did, her hair matted in a mass of unruly curls, her skin flushed from sleep and her faint snores echoing in the quiet of the foyer, she looked like the innocent kid I had once known. Gone was the toughened exterior that she had built to protect herself. The strong way she held her shoulders had been replaced by complete relaxation. I wondered when she’d last slept so heavily and so freely.
Crouching before her, unwilling to spoil the moment, I simply looked at her. A memory from when we were kids flooded in, of her in my van, asleep with her head on the arm of the chair as we’d watched movies late into the night, popcorn stuck to her hair and a smear of chocolate milkshake on her lips. That was the first time I’d kissed her. She never knew because she never woke, but all night, after she’d gone home, I couldn’t stop touching my lips with my fingers, the taste of her lingering until I gave in and brushed my teeth the next day.
I winced at the memory of her tear-stricken face the very next night.
Pushing aside thoughts I couldn’t face right then, I slid my arms underneath her and tucked her against me. She sighed and snuggled closer, her deep inhalation telling me she’d caught my scent. But she didn’t rouse, even when I pulled back the duvet on my bed and gently placed her down before tugging off her shoes and clothes.
Climbing in behind her, I closed my eyes and sighed as sleep beckoned me. A smile touched my lips when Dove nestled back against me. My dick paid attention to the fact that she fit perfectly against me and throbbed in delight at this unexpected addition to our usual bedtime routine. Gritting my teeth, I pushed thoughts away that would get me slapped, and gave in to the darkness.
I was sitting at the table drinking coffee when Dove slowly walked in. Her cheeks flushed wit
h heat and she gave me a sheepish smile. She fiddled with the cuffs from one of my shirts she’d slipped on to cover her nudity. I’d put her clothes into one of the laundry bags and hung them outside the door for the laundry woman to fetch. My stomach somersaulted and I couldn’t stop my eyes from slowly sliding down her in appreciation. My cock was instantly hard, the possessive streak that roared through me making my blood thud around my body too quickly.
She swallowed, her throat moving when I pushed back my chair and stood up.
“I couldn’t find my clothes, I hope you don’t mind…” her voice trailed off but she pulled at the shirt in explanation.
She stepped back when I advanced on her. For such a hard and determined woman, seeing her flustered and nervous had the dominance in me preening its fucking feathers with a smug confidence. I loved that I could do this to her, make her lose control and become who I knew she really was under all the bravado and bitchiness. I couldn’t seem to control myself. My heart thudded, my blood roared, and my dick throbbed crazily in my pants.
“Take it off.” My voice came out as a growl, surprising us both.
She nodded quickly, undoing the few buttons she’d done up, and dropped it to the floor. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have presumed…”
She gasped when I caught her jaw in my hand, instantly shutting her up. “No, you shouldn’t have.”
She blinked at me, shocked by my words.
“I need you naked. I need to feel your skin sweat against mine. I need to see the prickle of goosebumps break out every time I touch you.”
Her eyes were wide, huge beautiful orbs of grey steel shining up at me. Her breathing sped up when I slid my thumb over her bottom lip, the slight moisture coating it transferring onto me.
“Tell me you need me, Dove.”
She nodded quickly. “I do. I’ve always needed you.”
My gaze slid down the length of her stunning body, her nipples catching my attention when they stood rigid and tempting. Her flat stomach led to her bare pussy and I licked my lips greedily.
“I’m hungry. I haven’t had breakfast yet.”
She yelped when I suddenly picked her up, spun her around, and dropped her on the edge of the table none too gently. Then, gripping the inside of her thighs, I forced her legs open and dropped to my knees. Her glistening pussy was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, the arousal coating her heated flesh mine and only mine.
Her head fell back and a strangled “Oh, fuck” fell from her in a flustered rasp when I dived in. The first taste of her on my lips nearly crippled me. For ten years I had dreamed of this moment, of tasting her, kissing her and worshipping her, and now it had actually arrived I couldn’t control the emotion that tightened my chest.
“Shh,” she breathed in my ear. I knew she was aware of the overwhelming feelings that were trying to send my heart into arrest because she experienced every single one of them with me.
I hadn’t realised she’d sat back up and was leaning over me. I needed her to feel good, to take the pleasure I wanted to give her, so gently pushing her back, I took both of her hands in my own, threading each of my fingers through hers then ran my tongue up the length of her, from her anus to her clit. She squirmed, her grip on me tightening as a moan bled from her.
I lifted my eyes to hers. Tears of pleasure, or emotions, ran down her cheeks. Securing her gaze, I slowly circled her clit. She gulped, her mouth falling open. Her chest heaved, her breasts lifting and falling heavily when I slid my tongue inside her and collected what she gave me. Then, pushing her knees up, I ventured further down.
The growl that left her when I reamed her anus nearly had me shooting my load in my fucking pants.
“You like ass play?” I asked when she pushed herself against me harder.
She nodded, the look in her eyes giving me her answer even if she hadn’t voiced it.
I couldn’t hold back the grin when I latched onto her clit with my lips and slid a finger into her arse.
“Fucking shit,” she moaned, her hands slipping from mine when she fell back against the table.
I sucked, licked, fingered and feasted on her. And she fell apart under me, orgasm after orgasm giving me more and more lubrication for her backside.
Unable to wait any longer I flipped her over and shoved my trousers and pants down then pressed against her arse with the tip of my throbbing cock. She looked over her shoulder, a small frown on her face.
“Are you sure?” I asked her.
She looked stunned for a minute. Anger surged in my gut. Everyone had just taken from her, over and over again.
“I’m asking if it’s okay.”
She flinched at the angry tone in my voice but nodded. “Yes.”
Her forehead fell onto the table when I slowly pushed inside her. Her tight muscles made my entry crude but Dove just wriggled against me, forcing me deeper inside her. My knees trembled and I clutched the edge of the table to steady myself.
Bending into her, I placed a chaste kiss under her ear and whispered, “I love you, Dove Holland.”
A sob broke from her as her arms lifted and she wrapped them around the back of my neck. Pulling us both upright I moved my cock in and out of her slowly, loving her, idolising her, pleasuring her. She felt so good I prayed I didn’t flood her ass in cum before she’d managed to release hers. She fell back to the table, looked over her shoulder and growled, “Fuck me, damn it!”
She lifted one of her legs and rested it on the table, opening herself for me to speed things up. Pulling out slowly, I tormented her, gliding in and out of her with exquisite bliss. She felt so good that I didn’t want it to end but the more she growled at me, pushing her arse against me, the more I couldn’t contain the need.
My thrusts built, my hips slamming hard against her as my balls slapped against her clit. Her hair fell over her face and I gathered it in my hand, yanking her head back so I could cover her mouth with my own. She was panting hard, her breath hot in my mouth as we met each other with hard, powerful thrusts.
“Come in my ass, Flick,” she snarled as her climax forced her body to quiver around me.
“You want it?” I roared as the most rapturous pain burst in every damn muscle as my balls spewed their contents into her. “FUCK!” The grip on her hair must have been painful but she screamed out my name, her orgasm convulsing around me and milking me for everything I had.
I pushed hard inside her, releasing my load and forcing every drop inside her. It was a selfish act, but I took her hand in mine and dragged it up the inside of her thigh to collect every drop that had spilled from her. “Take it!” I ordered.
She shivered then brought her fingers to her mouth and took what had attempted to escape. Her eyes locked on mine when she slid her tongue back in her mouth and swallowed.
Another possessive growl left me and I crushed my mouth to hers, tasting her and consuming her as she kissed me back as feverishly.
Reluctantly slipping out of her, I picked her up and carried her over to the sofa. “Juice? Tea or coffee?”
She seemed lost for a moment, her eyes blinking but not registering anything. “Umm.”
“It’s hardly a hard question.”
Her mouth opened and closed. “I’ll do it.” I stared at her when she stood up, slipped my shirt back on and walked into the kitchen area.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I snatched the kettle from her and scowled. “Let me.”
She stood still in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of herself and her surroundings as she watched me fill the kettle and switch it on before taking cups from the cupboard. It suddenly occurred to me what was wrong. The anger evaporated and I hated the ache inside me. “No one’s ever taken care of you, have they?”
She blinked as if just realising that herself. Shrugging, she allowed herself a sigh then went to sit back on the sofa. Her eyes were everywhere and then suddenly, she bounced up and walked over to the unit that ran the length of one wall. A grin covered her face and I s
miled softly to myself as I placed our drinks onto the table.
She jumped when I leaned over her shoulder and set my eyes on the photograph. “You remember that day?”
She nodded. “It’s one of my favourite memories,” she whispered.
Dove’s face was full of a happiness I had yet to witness again. We were on the Ferris wheel at a local fair; she had been thirteen so I must have been around eighteen. I’d shit myself, and she’d loved every minute. One of her friends had captured us in the photo when the wheel had come to a stop at the top. I’d clung on to Dove like she could save my life. Of course, Dove had thought it was hilarious.
“You know,” I whispered in her ear, smiling to myself when she shivered slightly. “I wasn’t really scared.”
She frowned and turned back to me. “What?”
I shrugged. “I just used it as an excuse so I could get close to you.”
She reached up, touching my face with a softness that made me physically ache for her. Solemnness took over her. “We need to talk.”
Every inch of me both trembled and tensed. Quickly shaking my head, I turned away from her and hurried into the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”
“I shouldn’t have said what I did yesterday,” she said quietly, ignoring my attempt to hide from it all. “I’m sorry.”
I scoffed, snatching at a pack of eggs from the fridge. “Why? It was the truth.”
She sighed, placing her hand over mine and stopping me. “No, Flick. It wasn’t.”
I stared down at the eggs, my body too tense to move.
“We need to talk about it. We never talked about it and…”
“No!” I shook my head at her. The pain that was taking over threatened to kill me. I couldn’t face seeing the blame or the agony in her eyes again. “It’s over!”
“It’s never over unless we put it to rest.” Her voice was soft, soothing, but it didn’t help the pain that was engulfing me.
Grabbing an egg, I bashed it on the side of the bowl. Grumbling, I picked out the bits of shell that slid in with the egg. Memories tumbled into my head and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying in vain to make them disappear.
Dove Page 13
