“How’d the date go?” Asher said disinterestedly.
“You should know. You were at it,” she said, her eyes narrowed, reading his expression.
“Yes, yes, I was,” Asher replied. No point in hiding it now. No point in beating around the proverbial bush.
For a moment, Laurel was surprised at his response. Probably because she hadn’t expected him to come straight out with it. “Well, why?” she asked.
“Because I had to know,” Asher said.
“Had to know what?” Laurel asked.
“Know that Dane was a good guy. That you were safe with him. And now that I know, I don’t need to follow you around,” he said, nonplussed.
“You say it like it’s a good thing. So why don’t you sound happy about it?” Laurel said, putting her hands on her hips. Asher looked up, and her curves went on for days. Curves that no matter how long he was away from her, he would still long to touch.
“I am happy, even if Dane is a fancy-pants bitch,” Asher replied, unable to veil his bitterness.
Dane was all privilege and no effort. All style and no substance.
“Well, he protected me, didn’t he?” Laurel said, almost as if calling Asher out on his bullshit.
“Yeah, he did,” he replied blankly, not taking the bait. “And now you see that anyone can do it and you can stop pretending you’re in love with me,” he said, turning it back on Laurel.
Laurel just glared at him for a moment, one eyebrow raised. “That’s your problem, Asher,” she said.
Asher rotated on his swivel chair to face her directly. “And how is it my problem?”
“You don’t think anyone can love you. Whether they actually love you or not. Asshole,” Laurel said, putting both hands on the desk in front of him and staring him down.
Asher just stared back. The alpha in him responded to her alpha, but the man in him was too broken to put up a fight.
“So someone else can protect me. Big deal. What are you going to do about it?” she said. Her eyes flashed fire. Asher loved it when she got passionate about something. He’d always encouraged it in her. Had tried to feed it. Anger was always better than helplessness, he’d told her, back when she was reclaiming her independence.
Asher wanted to fight. But he wasn’t going to stand in the way of her being with the ideal man for her.
Stupid Dane.
“Nothing. It’s not my job anymore,” he said, turning back to the computer.
With one swift motion, Laurel swept her hand across the desk, sending papers flying everywhere.
“What the hell, Laurel!” Asher exclaimed.
She didn’t respond but instead walked around the desk intently, moving quickly.
“What are you doi—” Asher responded.
But before he could finish, Laurel reached down and pushed him over, sending the chair and him toppling to the ground.
6
Asher looked up at her, shock plain in his sparkling black eyes, and Laurel felt a tinge of remorse. For about a second. Then anger fired in his eyes and she fired right back.
“I don’t like this side of you, Asher,” she said, towering over him where he lay on the floor. “I’ve seen you bratty. I’ve seen you rude and arrogant and hard to deal with. And stubborn. I’ve seen you cold or tired or fed up with people. But I haven’t seen you broken like this. And I don’t like it!”
She felt tears sting the corners of her eyes and swiped at them furiously. Damn, she hated that she tended to cry when she was frustrated. She balled her hands into fists, gave him a last glare, and then stormed away from him, out around the desk. She heard him scramble to his feet, following her. She ignored him until they passed the main mat, and he caught her by the arm.
His steely grip sent warm shivers through her skin. She turned to look up at him. Even angry and sort of broken, he was the handsomest man she’d ever seen. Those coal-dark eyes glistening like black diamonds, those long, fringed lashes. Those intensely curved lips. A straight nose and jaw that seemed carved from sheer stone. Those aristocratic but dark features that made him look like an avenging angel.
She knew he thought she only cared because he’d been protecting her all these years.
But that wasn’t it. That was why she’d been putting up with his protectiveness all these years. She didn’t know why; she just knew even as an impetuous teen who joked about all the Vale brothers being hot, there’d been something between her and Asher from the start.
It had started as fighting when she’d been young and Asher had been immature. Bickering and arguing while their older siblings were too caught up in their romance to pay any attention.
Then Asher’s family had dumped him with the dojo and Laurel had become his confidant. His partner. Friendship had slowly grown to something else. She wasn’t sure what.
She just knew that as much as she’d thought she was unhappy with Asher’s shenanigans breaking up her dates, she was much more unhappy now that he looked like he’d given up.
“Laurel,” he said, eyes still holding that soul-deep sadness even as his mouth was set in firm resolve. “He’s a good man. He can give you things I never can.”
That was it.
Using everything Asher had taught her over the years, she yanked him forward and then swept his leg, taking him down. The huge alpha fell with an “ooph” onto his back and was rolling to recover when she hopped on top of him. He arched his hips to throw her off, but she was ready and anticipated it. She adjusted her weight squarely over him and planted her hands on either side of his head.
She saw hesitation in his dark eyes, like he knew he could throw her but didn’t want to use full strength on her.
Which was good. Asher was a gentleman and she didn’t mind taking advantage of it at this moment.
He stared at her in bewilderment as she brushed back a lock of his hair that was sticking to his forehead. Sometimes, like now, he still looked boyish. His outbursts didn’t help.
But lately he’d been looking more and more mature. She’d literally watched him grow up alongside her. In a way, it had always been just the two of them. Before him, she hadn’t had a life. When she came to live with him, she had choices, agency for the first time. It had been like waking up.
So it didn’t matter that Dane was part of that old life, and she didn’t know how to make Asher see it.
“Don’t do this,” he said, glaring up at her. “You’re going to leave anyway, so don’t do this.”
She grabbed him by the collar and jerked him up to face her. “If I leave, it’ll be because you drove me away, no matter how much I wanted to stay. Is that what you want, Asher? Is that what you want?”
His eyes flashed. “It doesn’t matter what I want! Taking care of you is the only honorable thing I’ve done in my whole life. The only thing that mattered. Now that I don’t have to do that, you can just—”
She covered his lips with hers, cutting him off. She pressed him back against the mat and felt his large body struggle slightly under her for a moment. Then his arms wrapped around her, holding her close. He was so unbelievably strong and warm, and being held by him felt so right.
His lips fit perfectly against hers, and when she opened her mouth to slip in her tongue, his tongue stroked hers, heating desire deep within her.
Nothing felt as right as this. She just didn’t know how to help Asher get over whatever blocks were in the way of him pursuing her.
She could tell he cared for her by the way his hands held her, the way his lips plundered her, the way his body was tightly coiled beneath her, like he was holding everything back.
How could someone so blunt be such a mystery?
He deepened the kiss and she felt a hand move down to her breast, lightly squeezing. It made her think of the other night, and she gasped. Damn, she wanted him to keep going. She pulled back to take a deep breath, and his eyes opened in shock. He looked down at his own hand on her breast and his face tightened in anger. He took advantage of her surpr
ise to roll out from under her and started to stand.
She leapt forward, knocking him down again. “Oh no you don’t, Asher Vale! I’m not finished with you!”
He growled as they rolled on the ground, and when he came up on top, she shuddered and waited for him to run away again. Instead, his hands took hers, his fingers intertwining with hers as he raised her hands over her head and looked into her eyes.
He scanned her body hungrily, looked at her in a way no other man ever had. It wasn’t just the lust burning in those black eyes, but the caring, the tenderness walled behind his fierce exterior.
“I don’t… I can’t…”
He looked genuinely troubled, and she wanted to reach a hand up to stroke his face, to comfort him somehow. But she couldn’t, because he kept her firmly pinned.
Despite the fact that Asher had never gone into pro MMA like his brothers, due to having to take responsibility for the dojo and pack business, he was probably the strongest of all of them. She didn’t have a chance at topping him, not when he had the advantage.
And she sort of liked it here. No, she really liked it here. She wriggled slightly, loving the feel of his steely thighs over her soft flesh.
She had to show him it was all right. It was what she wanted. He was what she wanted.
“Stop that,” he said gruffly. “I can’t think.”
“That’s the idea,” she said. “Asher, sometimes you’re so stupid. Maybe it’s better if you just don’t think.”
His eyes narrowed in offense. “Thanks.” He let her go and started to stand up and she yanked him back down on top of her.
“Stop it. You know what I mean. Why don’t you see what’s right in front of you? Why don’t you believe anyone cares for you?”
“Because no one ever has!” he barked out. “No one has ever wanted me for anything more than what I can do for them. My dad only wanted a full-blood alpha to run the pack, and as soon as he felt I could do it, he and my mom left. My half-brothers hated me because I was the only one my dad paid any attention to. Yeah, Lucas and Jordan eventually came back, but Lucas only did it to use my invitation to enter Lily’s tournament, and Jordan only came back because he needed somewhere to hang out while on hiatus.”
She stayed silent. Asher always looked so unaffected that she hadn’t realized how damaged he’d been. How alone.
“And then there’s you,” he said. “Only brought to me so I could protect you. They even made me make a pack promise, I’m sure because they thought it was the only way to protect you from my own selfishness. But here’s the thing, Laurel. When you came into my life, I didn’t want to be selfish anymore. I felt needed. Genuinely, not just as a tool to be used. I felt like you liked me for me. I didn’t want to lose that.”
His expression was hard, his eyes slightly glazed. Once again, Laurel wanted to comfort him, but when she reached out a hand, he pulled back, wincing.
“Everything’s been better with you here. For a while, my life had a purpose other than the one that was foisted on me for being born. I wasn’t just the pack alpha, to be loved or hated or left alone for it. I was your friend. Your protector. Now, if you don’t need me like that, if you leave me alone, I don’t know what I’ll do.” He swiped at his eyes and looked angry with himself. Was Asher Vale actually crying?
He saw her stunned stare and shook his head. “I’m not crying. I’m just…” He stood to get off of her, and she let him go this time, too shocked to do anything to stop him. “Just go. It’ll be easier if you do it sooner than later.”
“I’m not going, Asher. I love you.”
He looked her way warily. “You’re confused.”
“No,” she said, standing and balling her hands into fists. “I’m not.”
“You were meant for better things. That’s why my brothers made me make that promise. You can have any alpha in the world. You gave my life meaning, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay with me when the whole world is opening up to you.”
She closed her eyes, praying for patience with this oh-so-frustrating alpha male. “You are my world,” she snapped, glaring at him. “Why don’t you get that?”
He glared back, tongue-tied.
* * *
Asher’s heart pounded like it never had before. What did she mean, he was her world?
She glared at him as if she were waiting for him to get it. He didn’t. This beautiful girl, with her wild curly hair and gorgeous skin and to-die-for curves, couldn’t possibly be in love with him. It had been his privilege to protect her, but that was all.
He could as soon stop breathing as break a pack promise.
His whole life, he’d felt unworthy. Unworthy to take over the dojo as his older brothers resented him for coming into their lives. Unworthy of all the pressure his dad was putting on him to be everything to everyone. Unworthy of somehow leading the shifters in his care. Unworthy of balancing everything on his shoulders.
But looking into Laurel’s beautiful eyes, he’d never felt more unworthy than he did at this moment.
“Asher, I can’t love you if you won’t let me,” she said. “I can’t make you see it if you won’t try.”
He bit his lip and looked down at her. She was so small, so luscious. Right now, all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and show her how precious she was to him. Somehow convince her he was better than Dane.
But she was right. How could he convince her if he couldn’t convince himself?
For a long time, he’d felt worthless. There’d been nothing but criticism and expectations on all sides. It was part of why he’d rebelled when he was young, gotten tats, gotten into fights, been an arrogant asshole.
Everything had changed with Laurel.
Now she was leaving.
Well, she hadn’t left yet. But there were others like Dane. High class, strong alphas that meant she wouldn’t need him anymore. If not now, then someday.
It was his first time seeing someone else do for her what he’d thought he alone could do, and it had broken him in a way he didn’t understand.
But his heart beat rapidly as she turned away from him in disappointment and started for the door.
No. Mine. Don’t go, his heart cried.
He grabbed her wrist and spun her back against him. Then he caught her under the back of her head and slammed his mouth down over hers, crushing her against him as he went deep inside her mouth.
He expected resistance, but she melted, returning the kiss with little moans that drove him crazy. He swooped a hand under her legs and carried her back to the mats, dropping her over them. Then he straddled her, pinning her down. He trapped her hands above her head. He loved how she looked helpless, how her eyes glazed over with lust at his strength and her breasts heaved with wonderful cleavage. He loved seeing the trust in her face, the excitement as she bit her lip in anticipation.
He lowered his mouth to kiss her gently between her breasts. She gasped as he explored the soft flesh, licking along it. Damn, she was too beautiful.
“Asher,” she said.
He looked up to see what she wanted to say, but apparently it was just his name. He grinned at her. His name never sounded more beautiful than from her lips. “Yes, sweetheart?”
She blinked. “Take me.”
The wolf in him growled. A part of him felt torn in half between taking what had always been his and protecting her from his own selfish needs. He was worthless, had nothing to offer.
No, he wouldn’t take her. He wouldn’t take away her ability to choose another mate. One who was better.
But he would damn well show her how much he cared before he let her go.
He released her hands so he could free her breasts from the constraining workout tank she was wearing. As he pulled it over her shoulders, her gorgeous skin and breasts were bared to him. The alpha in him growled possessively.
The dojo was long closed, and it was off the road so no passing cars could see them. Still, he wasn’t satisfied.
He got off
her and closed the blinds to every window. She waited for him on the mats, and that made him happy.
He walked back to her and resumed his position on top of her, continuing to undress her.
“You’re so beautiful,” Asher said. “Whoever gets you will be the luckiest man in the world.”
“Why can’t it be you?” she choked out.
He leaned down to kiss her nipple, running his tongue slowly around it in agonizing circles. “I care for you, Laurel.”
She moaned and arched, and he moved to her other breast, taking her nipple in his mouth and sucking gently before swirling his tongue around and over it. He could feel her heating beneath him, feel her hips pressing insistently against him.
“I always will. I always have. I think you know that,” he said.
She didn’t answer, simply closed her eyes as his deft hands closed over her breasts and he went lower, trailing down to her soft belly button. Damn, he’d always loved her belly. Soft and round and amazing to touch. His hands found the line of her panties, and he sighed. This was the point of no return. This was the point where he should get off his damn ward and walk out of her life. Or at least take a few steps back so she could have some breathing room to date someone else.
Instead, he pulled her pants down to her ankles and tore her panties off in one quick move.
She wanted him. She’d said so. He couldn’t break his promise by taking everything, but he could give her something they would always remember. He could have just a taste of the woman he wanted as mate.
He didn’t believe in fated mates. Rather, he didn’t believe she had to be fated to him, even if he knew it would always only be her in his heart.
He hadn’t realized how deeply he cared until Dane stepped in. Until then, there had been no real threat, no excuse for him not to stick around. He’d allowed himself to be ignorant of how much she really meant to him, aside from being her protector.
Alpha Protector (Wolf Protectors Book 3) Page 6
