There’s so much going on in New York that there’s not a lot of time to sit and think. It’s not exactly what I’d call a contemplative city. It’s a city that pulses with culture and ambition and passion—and that’s what we girls wanted to experience. We found that if people are in New York, they’re almost always there with a specific reason in mind. They’re dreaming of being artists or authors or dancers or designers or actors, and they’ll sacrifice whatever it takes to reach their goals. It’s incredibly expensive to live in New York, but we met plenty of young people who were doing whatever it took to get by. They’d work multiple jobs and almost never go out to eat or buy new clothes.
After I’d been in the city for two months, the girls and I went out to the Tick Tock Diner one Saturday morning. It’s not the type of eatery you’d put in a NYC guidebook, but it was right down the street from our apartment, and we sometimes went there when we craved a big breakfast. I’d just downed a cheese and spinach omelet and was starting in on a short stack of pancakes when I noticed a text from Sami on my phone. “The writers’ strike is finished. We’re back on.” I let out a little whoop.
On Monday I gave my notice to Lindsey and thanked her profusely for all she’d done to help me out. They threw a sweet little going-away party for me at Michael Kors with cupcakes and punch.
“Come back anytime,” Lindsey said. “You belong in this city.”
I had two days off between internships. It was just enough time to catch my breath. I’d loved my time at Michael Kors. It gave me an opportunity to see the inside view of an incredibly creative international industry. But I was looking forward to the next internship too. It was why I’d come to New York in the first place, and it definitely felt like the place I should be.
Next stop: Gossip Girl.
CHAPTER 12
Gossip Girl
Lauren
I peered up at the subway diagram and shaded my eyes from the early morning sunlight. In front of me, green, red, purple, yellow, and blue lines snaked and crisscrossed all over a map of the city. It was 7:15 a.m., my first day of work, and I needed to commute from this station close to my apartment in midtown out to Silvercup Studios in Queens. Let’s see, that means heading north to Central Park, then east under the river.
At first glance, the routes looked like a big bowl of spaghetti. But the more I studied the map, I saw that my commute was fairly straightforward. It would mean a thirty-minute ride, tops. Navigating the New York subway is all part of the experience, I reminded myself. I descended the concrete steps to the subway station, slid my MetroCard through the slot, and pushed my way past the turnstile.
Inside the packed subway car, people lurched and jostled each other as the train started off and picked up speed. The smell of fresh brewed coffee hung in the air. There was no Wi-Fi service in the subway, so no one could check their phones, which felt refreshing to me. This wasn’t my first venture into the subway, but it was my first time during morning rush hour. Everybody looked similarly funky and cool, well-styled and hip; yet in spite of the similarities, I noticed how much the people on the train represented a human mosaic. All colors of skin sat side by side. I heard a cacophony of languages—Spanish, French, Italian, and Farsi, I think.
I straightened my shoulders with pride at the thought of stepping out into this new world. The people I’d met so far at Michael Kors had all been amazing. Most had been women in their late twenties and early thirties who were all eager to help others learn and grow and accomplish bold things. I hoped the people at Gossip Girl would be no different.
When we reached the borough of Queens, my subway station came up. I climbed off and walked a few blocks over to 42-22 Twenty-Second Street in Long Island City, the address of Silvercup’s main lot. A little shiver went down my back as I reminded myself that this was the big time. Silvercup is New York’s largest full-service film and television production studio. In addition to Gossip Girl, a bunch of other movies and shows are filmed there, including 30 Rock with Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin.
My internship at Gossip Girl was set to last slightly more than two months. The studios sprawled out like a suburban mall. When I found the entrance leading to Gossip Girl’s fashion department, I walked right in, blinking a few times as I took in everything around me. The doors had opened into a big room that looked like a huge closet. Racks of clothing stood everywhere. Two desks were shoved off to one side. I glanced down at the floor, old and wooden. The walls were still lined with torn-up magazine pages, but the pictures were all new since my quick tour last fall. Everything looked creatively put together, but nothing was luxurious or glamorous. It was a work center, plain and simple.
Sami met me with a warm smile and showed me around. To my left was a fitting room where the actors went when Eric dressed them. Another, smaller room was off to one side where alterations were done to make sure clothes fit each actor perfectly. Sami introduced me to everyone, and then I went to work.
One of my main jobs that day and over the next few weeks was returning clothes to various designers’ studios throughout the city. Some of the outfits used on the show were purchased, but others were on loan from top designers. Eric Daman would connect with designers and pick out looks he liked, then bring in the various options for each character to try on. That way Eric could decide what worked best. After a scene had been filmed, someone needed to return all those clothes to the designers. That was me. Fortunately, I didn’t have to drive. Mike, Eric’s personal assistant, accompanied me as the van driver, and we headed out around the city.
I hadn’t driven in the city at all, unless you count riding in the back of a taxi. I soon received my first lesson in how to park New York style. Simply put, there were never any places to park when we needed them. Ever. But we had to stop frequently. So Mike just pulled up next to the curb, or double-parked, while I ran inside and delivered the clothes. He often came along with me to help carry clothes into the showrooms, so over the next few weeks we racked up our share of parking tickets. When I stressed about that, he said with a grin, “Look, Lo, it’s just the way you gotta do things in the Big Apple.”
Some days I’d be on set to help with whatever tasks needed to be done while they were filming. Gossip Girl is this gritty, high-drama, prime-time soap opera for young adults based off the book series by the same name. It’s set around a mysterious narrator who runs a scandalous gossip blog about the kids who live in Manhattan’s Upper East Side.
The series starts by showing the “It” girl, Serena, coming back into town after an unexplained absence at boarding school and trying hard to fit in with all her classmates again. Blair is her best friend, but the two often fight, usually about guys. Chuck is the filthy-rich bad boy who schemes to make everybody’s life miserable. Dan and Jenny are the wholesome brother and sister duo. And Nate is the golden boy who’s trying to make his way in the world the best he knows how.
The whole series is sort of a racy, guilty-pleasure-styled TV show where all the characters are absolutely beautiful and everybody is extremely wealthy. They all wear the most fabulous-looking clothes, sort of like an East Coast version of Beverly Hills 90210.
Although the show portrays a world I would never want to inhabit, I saw my internship as an opportunity to be a “roaring lamb” in an industry that doesn’t really understand people of faith. Before I’d left Dallas and told people I was going to New York, some would furrow their brows. “Are you sure you want to go to New York?!” they’d ask. “It’s such a dark place.” Because I believe God opened this door for me, I never hesitated to walk through it.
In fact, being on set is nothing like watching the show. Nobody is starstruck with each other, and everybody acts normal and simply does his or her job. There are probably twenty to thirty people working on the set at any time. After a while, you get to know everybody pretty well.
The lighting guys come on and get everything arranged perfectly. Stand-ins serve as doubles for the actors so they don’t have to wait around while
everything gets set up. Actors mill around rehearsing lines, drinking coffee, and joking with one another. Cameramen, producers, directors, and extras are all doing what they do. Each shot is repeated a bunch of times to get every scene perfect. Sometimes it will take hours to shoot a five-minute segment.
None of the scenes make much sense when you see them being filmed, because they’re often shot out of order and you don’t have the context of watching the overall show to figure out the plot. In one scene that I saw being filmed, Blair was in the living room of her house having a heated conversation with Serena. In another, Dan and Jenny were hanging out in their kitchen, joking around with their dad. As the scenes were being filmed, I was standing maybe thirty feet away. From that distance, it was hard to hear the specific lines of dialogue.
Eric Daman was wonderful to work with. Most days I’d work more closely with Sami, but Eric would often be there too. He had blond hair and a ready smile, and though he was constantly busy, he was always kind. He treated everybody—actor, production assistant, intern, it didn’t matter—as professionals and with a lot of respect. I’d see him in the wardrobe department quite often and got to know him well.
One day I was working with one of the guys on set—I don’t remember his specific job—and out of the blue he said, “Lauren, what’s up with you anyway? You seem different from other people around here, but I can’t quite put my finger on why.”
I shrugged. “Maybe it’s that whole Dallas thing.”
“Nope. Not that. What do you believe in, anyway?”
“Believe? You mean like . . . in Jesus?”
“Is that what it is with you?”
“Why?” I asked with a laugh. “What do you believe in?”
“Everything. Jesus. Buddha. Karma. Myself. I believe in truth . . . whatever that is.”
Over the next few weeks we had a lot of conversations like that—not just me and that guy, but many of us on the set with one another. People might not have believed the same things, but it seemed like everybody was interested in talking about spiritual matters and getting to the heart of life. I never pushed my beliefs on anybody. I seldom started the conversations. They just happened. The people I met often acted surprised when they found out I was a Christian. I guess they expected me to make them feel guilty for something they’d done wrong. But when they found out that I was going to treat them with the same courtesy and kindness they’d been extending to me all along, they were genuine about things, and our conversations became deep and rich.
I read my Bible a lot, all the weeks I was in New York. I prayed all the time—not out loud during the day, but I’d write prayers in my journal, or pray them as thoughts to God as I rode in the subway back home each evening. For the first time in my life, I was completely away from my family. I wrestled with the idea of distinguishing my own faith from my family’s faith. I’d never been alone enough to examine my beliefs like that before.
I thought about how I’d seen plenty of people back home whose faith seemed more like a hobby. Oh sure, they went to church and called themselves Christians, but that seemed to be the extent of it. I knew I needed my faith to be something more than that. It needed to be something real, something that encompassed every area of my life.
The book of Isaiah became my favorite. The entire book seemed so poetic, graceful, and rhythmic, if not always easy to understand. Again and again I came back to one passage, Isaiah 40:29-31.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Seldom did I feel exhausted in New York—that wasn’t what spoke to me from the passage. Even though the days at Gossip Girl were always long, I felt fueled by adrenaline, always on the go. But I liked the image in Isaiah of young people seeking and finding God’s favor. I liked the promise that God gives power to renew people’s strength. I pictured myself flying like an eagle, running forever and ever, walking on new heights. I felt more certain than ever that my faith was truly becoming my own. This was no passing fad in my life. Faith in God acted as bedrock, something I could base my life on forever.
New York was a great experience for me. I was busy soaking in the heights and depths of the city, dreaming about and planning my career. What I was doing in New York was exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Not to be working at Gossip Girl or Michael Kors specifically—but to be immersed in a world of creativity, art, beauty, passion, and greater purpose. I found I absolutely loved being in New York. I felt independent and confident and excited with all the possibilities in front of me.
In late spring 2008 I finished my internship at Gossip Girl, hugged all the new friends I’d made, packed up my New York apartment, and flew home. On the plane ride back to Texas, I created a picture in my head of the things I wanted to do in life. The image wasn’t formed concretely yet, but the dots were there, waiting to be connected. They beckoned brightly, like the lights of Dallas Airport’s runway just before we touched down.
As my parents drove me back to our home in Plano, I felt like I’d climbed to the top of Mount Everest. My season in New York City had been amazing. I’d seen so much, learned so much, and done so many new things. I felt bold and ambitious, ready to stay at that high level and continue higher still.
What I hadn’t learned, however, was that along with great opportunity comes great temptation. A new path would soon uncoil itself and extend its offer to me. It would be a wide and broad road, and I knew very clearly it was a direction I should not take.
Even so, I would soon find myself longing to run down its destructive path.
Growing Up
Playing with makeup at Christmas
Our first Christmas:
Brittany (left) and me (right)
As always, in our OshKosh B’gosh outfits
My all-time favorite photo of Britt and me
Obviously, I was destined for a career in fashion!
At the golf course my grandparents own . . . We learned how to play early!
Fun at the lake!
Family
So many family pictures from Britt’s and my childhood show our parents apart. As hard as it was to spend time with Mom and Dad separately, I’m grateful we always knew how much they loved us. . . .
We were the happiest family in the world on the day my parents remarried!
Special Moments
Getting ready to ski at the lake
Our first football game at Texas A&M
My life in New York City was even more special when I could share it with Britt, Mom, and Dad (who, as usual, was behind the camera).
Graduation day! I was so excited for whatever my future would hold.
I love spending time with my extended family—aunts, uncles, cousins. This is me with my cousin Mimi, who is a precious gift to all of us.
My beautiful sister and her handsome husband absolutely shone on their wedding day.
This was the first vacation we took together (to Savannah, Georgia) after Shaun became part of the family. We all loved having him there, but my dad was especially happy to have another guy on the trip!
My dad is always there for me. Whether he’s listening and giving advice, or going on a fun, spontaneous adventure with me, we make such special memories together. I have so much respect for how he has led our family through the toughest times. This is us at a banquet for Prestonwood Christian Academy.
One of our friends was doing a photography workshop, and we volunteered to come in and help. I love this photo she caught of Mom and me doing what we do so often—laughing, enjoying each other’s company, and just being close.
A Turning Point
The plane I was in the
night my life changed
Close-up of the two-seat interior
The LoLo Event
On March 7, just a few months after the accident, family friends put together an unforgettable night called the LoLo Event. We had no idea about most of the details ahead of time. We just showed up—and walked into a world beyond anything we could have imagined.
I had missed Fashion Week while I was recovering, so they brought it to me. The runway was made of pink sand; the models wore beautiful clothes from my favorite stores. And all the proceeds raised went to help with my medical bills.
Still Lolo Page 10
