Learning to Lean

by Mildred Colvin

  “Oh, yes, I forgot.” He grinned. “You’ve done great so far, but I think we should leave our children out of the conversation if it’s possible.”

  Heather laughed. “I agree. Since that leaves my job out, too, we’ll have to talk about what you were like before your three unmentionables showed up.”

  “That’s easy.” Matt grinned. “Just think of Ricky only twice as inquisitive and—”

  Heather held up her hand, stopping him mid-sentence. “Please don’t tell me you’ve already broken your own rule.”

  Surprise then guilt flashed across Matt’s face before Heather laughed. He chuckled. “Sorry about that. So do you see anything good to eat?”

  “Soup.” Heather chose the one she decided might be most affordable.

  Matt ordered steak. After the waitress left, he shrugged. “That’s one thing I can’t cook except on an outside grill. I haven’t had any since Labor Day weekend.”

  While they ate, Matt talked about his father. “I didn’t want to go into my dad’s business. I fought it every step of the way, but when you get married in college and a baby shows up a year later, you take what you can get. I’ve been doing construction work of one kind or another ever since, and I enjoy my job for the most part.”

  “You seem good at what you do. Your business is growing, isn’t it?” She lifted a spoon filled with soup and mentally reviewed the contents of her purse in case she needed to contribute her share.

  “I’m doing fine, Heather.” His eyes twinkled as if he’d read her mind. “At the very least I can pay for your dinner.”

  She eyed his steak. “Mine? I’ve been worrying about yours.”

  “Hey, I work hard. I’m a steak and potatoes kind of guy.” He laughed then changed the subject. “Now we’ve got the room open to the rest of the daycare I’d like to finish at night after the kids are gone. I’ve got another job I can do during the day.”

  “Sure, if you don’t think it will be too much for you. Brad can help if you’d like.” She smiled. “He’s doing so well right now. Joining the puppeteers has given him something worthwhile to keep him busy.”

  Matt nodded. “That and attending church seems to have had a positive effect on him.”

  “I’m sure it hasn’t hurt, but working with you has been a good thing, too. He needs a good male role model, which is something he hasn’t had the last several years.”

  “I could say the same for your help with Becka, only I know we aren’t supposed to be talking about our kids.”

  “Oops, sorry.” She covered her mouth with her fingertips, but couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled out.

  Their easy conversation carried them to Heather’s front door. Matt stopped her with a hand on her shoulder when they reached the porch. She turned toward him. He searched her face, causing her heart to race.

  “A kiss would be traditional at this point, but since we’re only friends, maybe we should shake hands instead.”

  His words were as a brake placed on her heart, bringing it to a slow, painfully heavy drumbeat. He was right, and she hated it. With a tight rein on her emotions, she held out her hand, letting Matt’s warm grasp swallow it.

  She lowered her lashes to hide the hurt and confusion in her eyes. A gentle tug pulled her forward, and Matt’s lips brushed her forehead in a quick, sweet kiss. She lifted her eyes to his, and he slowly moved closer while her heart resumed a quick staccato.

  Headlights swept across the yard and tires crunched on the gravel beside the street. Matt and Heather jumped apart as if they’d been caught in an illicit act. Matt released her hand.

  Car doors slammed. Becka’s and Brad’s voices blended as they called their thanks and good-byes to the youth minister who had brought them home.

  The front door of the house opened, spilling the four younger children with Jan close behind. Heather picked up one of the little girls as Matt lifted the other into his arms. Gary and Ricky competed for attention while Becka ran up the walk, “Dad, guess what?”

  At the same time, Gary stepped in front of Heather. “Mom, can I go to Ricky’s house?”

  “Not now.” Heather thought Becka said something about a campout. She looked for her oldest son.

  Brad stood back watching everyone else. During a short lull in the racket, he called out, a smirk on his face, “I’ll bet you don’t even know you’re holding the wrong kids.”

  In the resulting silence, Heather looked at Kristi in her arms and at Candace with Matt. She’d picked up Kristi, but until that moment hadn’t thought of the significance or how natural it felt. The line separating their kids seemed to be disappearing and that thought scared her. Matt said they were friends, but he’d almost kissed her. Were they kidding themselves? Did she really want to be just friends with Matt?

  She met his gaze and read the same confusion in his eyes that swirled in her heart.

  ~*~*~*~

  ~Thirteen~

  “You are going camping with us, aren’t you, Daddy?” Becka spread butter on toast, tossed it on Ricky’s plate, then picked up another slice. “If you don’t go, I’ll be the only puppeteer with no family and no place to sleep.”

  Matt laughed. He pulled a pan of oatmeal from the stove and set it on the table. “No place to sleep? That’s a little melodramatic, isn’t it?”

  Becka’s eyes rolled toward the ceiling. “You know what I mean. I’d have to sleep in a tent all by myself.”

  “Are you sure all the other families are going?”

  Becka’s expression brightened. “I’ll bet Brad’s mom goes. Why don’t you call her and ask?”

  Matt headed toward the refrigerator. “You’ll see her at church tomorrow. You ask and while you’re at it, find out if she has room in her tent for you.”

  “Daddy!” Becka stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “You have to be there.” She motioned toward Ricky with the butter knife. “It’s for our entire family, so even he can go.”

  Ricky shrugged. “Don’t worry, Becka, me and Gary already talked about it, and we’re both going.”

  “Not without Dad, you aren’t.” Becka turned horror-filled eyes on her father. “Daddy, he can’t go without you. You have to go, or I can’t.”

  Matt carried a carton of orange juice to the table and sat down. “Calm down, honey, I imagine we’ll all go. Now let’s eat so I can get to work on Heather’s daycare.”

  ~*~

  Brad showed up at the daycare within minutes after Matt unloaded his tools. They worked well together until Matt called a halt at noon.

  “I promised the kids a trip to the park this afternoon,” he told Brad.

  “You do a lot of stuff with your kids, don’t you?” Brad stowed the drill in Matt’s SUV.

  Matt lowered the back hatch as Brad stepped back. “I try, but it isn’t always easy. After my wife died, I promised my kids I’d be there for them. Life has a way of slipping past, so you need to choose what’s important. You know, spend your time doing what will make a difference for good rather than what you think is fun at the moment.” Matt grinned. “Or even what makes the most money.”

  Brad glanced toward the daycare before looking back at Matt. “You don’t make a lot of money working on houses, do you?”

  Matt laughed. “Not as much as I did when I owned a construction company, but I’m doing all right.”

  “What do you mean? Like a big construction company with lots of guys working for you?”

  “Yeah, a big company and a lot of headaches.” Matt decided to change the subject. “So, here I am now with my own little business and plenty of time to play whenever I want. It’s the best life as far as I’m concerned.” He opened his car door. “Now I’m off to the park. Can I give you a lift home?”

  “Nah, I’ve got my bike. Thanks, anyway.” Brad started walking away then called over his shoulder. “See you tomorrow in church.”

  ~*~

  Heather and Candace sat on the opposite side of church from Matt and his family. No need to give t
oo much feed to the rumor mill. Everyone in church probably expected a wedding invitation as it was. The knowing smiles and subtle comments were enough to tell her she and Matt might be the only ones who believed in the friendship they tried to maintain. If even they believed it.

  She turned her attention to the sermon and tried to shove the image of the tall, handsome family man from her mind. As soon as the last note of the closing song drifted away, Heather picked up her Bible and took Candace by the hand. For once, she would get away from church without being swamped by the Sanders family and confirming what everyone suspected. Every one of the Sanders was so much a part of her they might as well be the same family.

  “Heather.” Becka appeared at the end of the pew. “You’re going to the campout next weekend, aren’t you?”

  Heather sank back down, and Becka plopped beside her. “I don’t know. I hadn’t planned…”

  She looked up into the same blue eyes that invaded her dreams more than she liked. Whether she slept or not. Matt, holding Kristi, leaned against the end of the pew and smiled at her. She willed her heart to slow. So much for running away from the Sanders.

  “Daddy’s going, so Kristi will be there.” Becka pulled Candace into a hug. “She wants Candace there, and Gary already thinks he’s going. Ricky and him have big plans. Please, say you’ll come, Heather. We all want you to.” She twisted to look up at her father. “Don’t we, Daddy?”

  Matt’s eyebrows lifted as he shifted his gaze to his oldest daughter. Then he grinned at Heather and nodded, his gaze locking with hers.

  She took a deep breath and clutched her Bible as she felt her safe world tilt. “I don’t know. I—”

  “Mom, we’re going camping, aren’t we?” Gary skidded to a stop beside Matt with Ricky at his side. He glared over his shoulder at Brad ambling toward them. “He says you won’t go.”

  “Please.” Becka’s wide eyes pleaded.

  “Ricky’s going, Mom.” Gary slipped into the space behind her and put his hand across her shoulders. “It’ll be fun and I never went camping before.”

  Heather looked from one face to another. Silence from this group indicated her decision meant a great deal to them. She settled on Brad. He grinned and gave her a thumbs-up. She couldn’t fight them all, and she couldn’t destroy the smile on her oldest son’s face.

  Laughter bubbled from deep within as she turned back to Becka. “Looks like the Conway’s are going camping.”

  “Yay!”

  “Cool”

  Several young voices expressed their agreement. Candace scrambled down and jumped, clapping her hands. Heather laughed at their antics. All of a sudden, she couldn’t wait to go camping. The smile in Matt’s eyes told her she’d made the right decision.

  ~*~

  Friday afternoon Heather left the daycare early with Gary and Candace. At home she found Brad already digging sleeping bags out of the garage.

  She backed the van up to the open garage door and turned to her youngest son. “Gary, you keep an eye on Candace so I can help Brad.”

  He hesitated before unbuckling his little sister’s car seat and helping her from the vehicle. Heather watched him lead her through the garage and into the house. She knew he was excited about camping and probably figured cooperation would be in his best interest.

  She turned toward Brad. “What can I do to help?”

  Brad pulled their new tent, still in the box, from a shelf and let it fall to the floor. He looked up with a grin on his face and an eager light in his eyes. Something she’d never get tired of seeing.

  He nodded toward a pile near the door. “I’ve been stacking stuff up until you got here with the van. I didn’t do anything about food. You want me to load this while you get the ice chest filled?”

  “Sure.”

  He stopped her at the door. “Hey, Mom, let me know when you’re done, and I’ll carry it out to the van.”

  Something had changed in Brad, and Heather had no intention of doing anything to dampen his enthusiasm. She laughed. “In that case, I won’t worry about how much I pack.”

  He flexed his biceps and grinned. “No need. I can handle whatever you dish out.”

  Twenty minutes later the Conways climbed into their van and headed toward the State Park some thirty miles away. Heather followed the detailed directions the youth pastor had given and easily found the large open field where at least ten churches in the area were gathering for the annual youth campout. As she turned in, she saw several tents already up and spread across the expansive grounds. Hundreds of people moved about settling in.

  She rolled her window down when a man approached. “What church are you with, ma’am?”

  “Bible Community in Cedar Ridge.”

  He gave directions to her campsite, pointing out where she should park once she had unloaded, then wished them well. Heather eased her van forward being careful to watch for children who seemed to be running everywhere. She saw Matt before he noticed them. He and his children were attempting to set up their tent. Ricky waved, tripped over one of the posts, and the tent collapsed, billowing out as it settled to the ground.

  Matt shook his head at his son then turned with a wide welcoming smile and wave for Heather and her kids. “Hey, we’ve got help now. Brad, Gary, get over here.”

  Her boys scrambled from the van. Matt gave them instructions, and the tent rose within seconds. He handed Brad the hammer and told the younger boys to hold their poles in place while Brad secured the guy ropes.

  As soon as Heather released Candace, her young daughter ran to Becka and Kristi. Heather lifted the tailgate on her van, knowing Becka would take care of Candace.

  “Heather,” Becka called, “put your tent next to ours.”

  Matt’s grin told Heather he agreed. “Hang on and I’ll get it. Becka’s already picked a flat, rock-free spot for you.”

  As Matt spread Heather’s tent on the ground, Becka said, “Hey, I know what would be fun, Heather. Why don’t the boys all sleep in our tent and the girls in yours?”

  “Yea!” Gary and Ricky called out, letting everyone know they approved.

  Even Brad grinned. Matt shrugged and caught Heather’s gaze. “Sounds fine with me. What do you think?”

  Heather looked at Becka’s hopeful expression and smiled. “I think that sounds like a great idea.”

  Brad tossed the hammer aside with a wide grin. “This is slick. We already got our tent up.”

  The younger boys hurried to catch him as he started jogging away only to slide to a halt when Matt’s clear, sharp whistle filled the air.

  “Sorry, guys, but gentlemen don’t walk off and leave women to do a man’s job.”

  Brad laughed as they retraced their steps. “Aw, we were just kidding.”

  Within minutes Heather’s tent stood ready for the girls to move in. Heather marveled at the way Matt handled the boys. They seemed to like and respect him—not an easy accomplishment with young boys. She joined the relay line Matt organized from her van to the tents as they distributed their belongings.

  Heather drove her van to the section of land set aside for parking and walked back to the site. She relaxed at the picnic table as Matt sat across from her.

  She smiled at him. “I can’t believe we’re set up and unloaded already. I figured we’d be struggling with the tent until after dark.”

  Matt chuckled. “Hey, I build houses for a living—or repair them, anyway. Surely you knew I could set up a tent.”

  She met his teasing gaze and her heart flipped. Dressed in a suit for church or in a polo shirt and khaki shorts for biking, Matt couldn’t look any more handsome than he did at that moment. One look at him in blue jeans and faded T-shirt with a smudge of dirt across his jaw, and his dark hair wind tossed, stole all coherent thought from her mind.

  She turned away. “I didn’t know you would help.”

  “Sure you did.” He reached across the table and enfolded her hand in his. “I’ll always be here to help. Whenever you need me.�
�

  She jerked her hand free and started to stand, to get away from the empty promises that hurt more than he could realize. “No, you can’t know that. No one can. If I’ve learned nothing else in the last four years, I’ve learned I have to stand on my own.”

  The youth pastor’s voice boomed as he approached their table, stopping her withdrawal. “How are the Conways and the Sanders doing? Got everything set up?”

  Matt shook hands with the other man and nodded toward the older kids who had joined a nearby game of volleyball. “No problem. We had good help.”

  Heather shook hands with the pastor and smiled, trying to forget Matt’s thoughtless words. He meant well. Besides she had no reason to read more into his meaning than that of friend helping friend.

  “Here’s the schedule of what we’ll be doing this weekend. Take a look and if you have any questions, give me a holler.” Pastor Claude handed a copy to each of them. He pointed toward a tent a few yards to their left. “There’s my tent. If you have a problem, you might catch me there. If not, someone will know where I am. Looks like a good turn out this year.”

  Heather watched children playing organized games while others ran free. A young mother chased her toddler, catching him in her arms for a hug and kiss before carrying him back to their tent. His laughing squeals seemed in sync with the mood of the camp. Everyone expected a good time. Why should she be different? Why should she let her stupid reaction to Matt’s innocent remark dampen her spirits? So what if he made promises he couldn’t keep? She didn’t need or want him interfering with her life, anyway.

  As the pastor moved on to the next campsite, Heather determined to enjoy the weekend even if she had to fight the attraction she couldn’t help feeling toward the man sitting across from her. She had a plan, a goal to reach. Soon she would have enough for a down payment on a house to replace the one she’d lost. When Matt’s smile became a distraction, she only needed to concentrate on her goal.

  Kristi ran to her and held up her hands. “Uppy, Heaver.”

  Heather laughed as she lifted the little girl onto her lap. She snuggled her close and said, “You keep it up, and you’ll be saying my name as well as Becka does. I’m not sure I want you growing up so fast.”