Very nice.
Just nice.
He’d make a great boyfriend. For someone else.
“No, I’m fine — really,” I insisted when he looked like he would object. “It’s only five minutes on a well-lit street.”
I leaned forward so my mouth was right next to his ear. “I’m probably the scariest thing out there. I’m a lot tougher than I look.” I gave him a flirty wink to soften my words, but his brows pulled together in confusion.
Fates, I was so bad at talking to humans.
I slipped into the bathroom on my way to the front door, digging around in my bag for the spray bottle of lavender. I’d been careless not reapplying it after work. Whoever these wolves were, they’d definitely have my scent. While they hadn’t approached me tonight, it may have only been the overwhelming presence of human witnesses that put them off.
Still… it was strange they hadn’t even silently stood in front of me and made a show of their presence. Maybe they were both submissive wolves.
Maybe the one who smelled like heaven was worried I’d jump his bones. It was probably a genuine risk, going around smelling like that.
The ghost of that heavenly sandalwood scent lingered in the air and for an insane moment, I considered following it. Then I came to my senses and remembered that literally every interaction I’d had with shifters since my wolf emerged had been negative.
I wasn’t just going to roll over and accept the fact that there were two shifters on campus, but if I was going to sleuth, I’d be careful about it. Until then, I’d drown my scent in lavender and hope we could stay out of each other’s way.
As soon as I got in the door, I headed straight for the bathroom, eager to wash the day off and try to erase the scent of shifter from my memory. After I’d finished my shift, I’d been tired, but now I felt wired. Like I could run a marathon and have energy to spare. My wolf was making it ten times worse — she was edgy, restless. While the presence of other wolves had always made her tense in the past, there was something different about this. She was frustrated.
You and me both, buddy, I thought bitterly, climbing into bed.
✽✽✽
“Hey, are you okay? You left the party so early last night.” Derek’s voice cut through the fog of my exhaustion and grated on every single one of my last nerves. Which was totally unfair because he’d been nothing but nice to me.
“I was wiped,” I replied with a tight smile. “Coffee?”
“Please.” Derek had a really pleasant smile, it was warm and reached his sparkly green eyes. As far as humans went, he was one of the prettiest I’d ever seen.
I busied myself behind the espresso machine, grateful for the diversion. I’d barely slept a wink all night. I’d vacillated between extreme sexual frustration and dealing with a melancholy wolf all night. My eyelids felt like they were lined with grit.
“Maybe we could go out for dinner or something tonight?” Derek asked, leaning against the counter. His tone was calm, but I could see the eagerness in his eyes, the desire to please the Luna. I admired the effort he was making, considering half the girls at the surrounding tables were making emoji-heart-eyes at him.
“Just as friends, yeah?” I asked, mostly to pacify my enraged wolf.
“Oh. I kind of thought you were into me?” he chuckled, his cheeks flushing slightly.
My wolf bared her teeth, pushing at my skin for dominance. “It’s complicated,” I shrugged apologetically. Fates, down girl. We are not shifting in the middle of a fucking coffee shop, no matter how much you irrationally hate this guy.
“Okay, well maybe a group of us could go to Barson tonight? Carson, bar, Barson. Get it?” I could see the fine lines of tension in his features as he tried to placate me. Maybe I could just go out with his friends tonight, then ghost them forever. It really wasn’t fair on them to hang out with humans.
“Sure, I’ll meet you there, maybe bring my roommates along.” I gave him a tight smile as I pushed the drink across the counter to him, and took his money.
“Okay, we’ll be there from seven.” He looked at me patiently, waiting for me to dismiss him.
“See you later, Derek.” He gave me a broad grin as he left and I blew out a tense breath. What the fuck was I doing with my life?
I made almost no tips all day, which wasn’t surprising given my foul mood and the fuck off face I was probably wearing.
“Ready to go home?” Madison asked, waiting patiently by the door for me after her waitressing shift.
“So ready. Though I kind of said I’d go to the bar tonight with Derek and his friends. Come with?”
“Football Derek?” Madison squealed, making my ear hurt.
“No idea,” I replied breezily, striding through the carpark with Madison on my heels. “Tall, brown hair, green eyes?”
“That’s the one.”
“Oh my gosh yes. I’m going to text Ella right now, she’ll totally want to come.”
Cam wasn’t home, but Madison was right that Ella totally wanted to come. They were both in Madison’s larger room, making a huge production of getting ready while I grabbed a moment of peace and quiet in my own tiny room.
I got ready reluctantly, dressing down as casually as possible in my dark blue skinny jeans, tennis shoes, gray t-shirt, and a chunky dark green cardigan. I left my hair tied up in the messy bun I’d had at work, and tossed my wallet, keys and phone into a tan cross-body bag. I didn’t bother with makeup, but I reapplied my scent-masking spray to an almost absurd degree. I probably smelled like a little old lady even to human noses now.
As much as I didn't want to go out, my skin was becoming uncomfortably itchy from lack of physical touch. Hopefully Derek was the cuddling type, because I felt zero urge to sleep with him.
The bar was a twenty-minute walk from our house, just off campus, and Madison and Ella talked every second of the way, competing to engage me in conversation.
“I can’t believe you’re going out with Derek!” Madison squealed, smoothing down her wavy auburn hair. It was the most dressed up I’d ever seen in her a chambray sundress and strappy sandals. She was shorter and curvier than her sister, but no less striking with her heart-shaped face and sparkling blue eyes. “He’s so hot.”
I hummed noncommittally. “I guess.” He’d seemed a lot hotter a couple of days ago, before a certain scent had woven its way into my life and fucked everything up.
“You guess?” Madison's shrill tone would take down an army of wolves.
“Want me to introduce you?” I asked. I totally would. If she genuinely liked the guy, I wouldn't get in the way for the sake of a few cuddles. I'm sure I could find someone else who'd be willing.
“Oh no, of course not! I sort of have a thing with a guy back home anyway,” Madison mumbled. “It's complicated.”
“It always is with you two,” Ella said with an eye roll, tossing her sleek dark brown ponytail back over her shoulder. She’d dressed in black skintight moto jeans that looked painted on, a flowing strappy black top, and block heels, and was strutting down the sidewalk like it was her own personal catwalk. I was here for it. I shot Madison a supportive smile. She’d definitely have been at the bottom of the food chain in a wolf pack with her quiet demeanor and lack of confidence. My instincts pushed me to ensure she wasn’t left out, to check on her wellbeing.
We made our way past small stores and a diner to a small but rowdy building with ‘Barson’ displayed in cursive neon writing over the double doors. The fenced in outdoor area was crammed with overflowing picnic tables of laughing patrons, mostly students by the looks of them. Ella led the way, clearing a path for me like I was a celebrity. I smiled appreciatively even as I cringed so hard internally, I may have pulled a muscle.
It was a sports bar, but the interior wasn't nearly as awful as I imagined, probably because it was early enough that the live music hadn't started yet, saving my eardrums. There was a long bar with stools and booths around the edges of the room, with a pool table posit
ioned in one corner.
“Wren!” Derek was leaning against the bar with the same group of friends from last night. Ella and Derek were giving each other assessing looks, sizing each other up. Ella stuck close to my side, even as I moved into Derek’s embrace, sliding under his arm to give him a side hug but mostly just collecting the physical contact like I was Mario collecting coins.
"Hey Derek," I said. “Hi everyone.” I nodded at them, giving them a polite smile.
“Do you want a drink, Wren?”
“I love your hair, Wren. It’s so shiny.”
“Wren, where did you get your top?”
Fates, this was an awful idea. The bartender caught my eye, handing me the bottle of beer I nodded at with awestruck eyes. Fortunately, humans were always too enthralled to ID me since I didn’t have identification.
“Let’s all sit, shall we?” I suggested lightly. A few of them scrambled to pull together tables and chairs for all of us, looking at me eagerly for approval. I gave them a tight smile, sitting in the center of the group so as many of them could crowd around me as possible.
They pushed quiet Madison to the other end of the table, and she was visibly pouting about it.
“One drink and I’m going,” I warned them, ignoring their protests and regretting every single decision I’d made that led me to come out tonight. I kept looking over my shoulder, waiting for the wolves from last night to materialize in the middle of the bar. It was dumb, I’d smell them before I saw them anyway, but it didn’t stop me checking.
I felt like they should be here. Especially the nice smelling one. His lack of presence here felt wrong. Which was illogical because he’d probably attack me like every wolf I’d ever encountered.
I chewed on the inside of my lip. Maybe this overwhelming craving to be near a wolf was the first sign of my wolf going feral.
Derek and Ella were both sitting as close to me as they could be on either side, their shoulders brushing against mine. I didn’t want to encourage the pack behavior, but I allowed myself to indulge. It soothed my touch-starved body.
“Wren, did you know I’m on the football team?” Derek asked, deceptively cool.
“I’d heard,” I replied, offering him a small smile.
“I run track,” Ella countered immediately. Shit, they weren’t competing for the Beta role. They were competing for the Alpha role. They didn’t just want my approval, they wanted to be the sole recipient of my affection. It’s not like Alphas were always male and Lunas always female, or that there was even one of each gender in each pairing. It depended on personality. Derek and Ella were both fairly alpha personalities, as far as humans went.
I sighed internally, downing the rest of my drink in one. They would feel compelled to compete until I removed myself from the situation.
“Right, I’m off. It’s been grand,” I announced, offering the table a two-fingered salute.
“Wren, you just got here!”
“Wren, stay!”
“One more drink!”
I shook my head, smiling as I stood. It had never been this bad before. Either my wolf was asserting her dominance more or this was an easily led group of humans. Maybe both.
Derek and Ella followed me to the door, but I made excuses and convinced them both to stay. The scent of wolf lingered in the air as I walked, but it wasn’t the wolf that had intrigued me. I slipped into the shadows, winding between buildings and avoiding my street until I was sure he wasn’t following me. My scent was covered, but if he got close enough, he might sniff his way through the lavender.
Were they out looking for me? Usually, being near a shifter would make me feel agitated, but I just felt… disappointed. I wanted that delicious sandalwood scent again. I might not object to being followed around if they sent the one who smelled good.
Confident he wasn’t close, I quickly made my way back to the house, slipping through the front door and leaning back against it, breathing a sigh of relief. Cam gave me an odd look from his spot on the couch where he was watching late night TV and eating a bowl of popcorn.
“All good?” he asked. Cam was tall and lean, with dark skin, dreads that he always kept tied back, and wore thick, square glasses. He worked behind the counter at the coffee shop, which is mostly where I saw him, since he hid out in his room whenever we were all at home. If Cam was a wolf, he’d be a loner by choice. He didn’t try to fit into my “pack”, and while he deferred to me, he didn’t try to impress me.
It was refreshing.
“Weird night,” I replied with a shrug, dropping to the couch next to him. He wordlessly put the bowl of popcorn on the couch between us and turned his attention back to his show. I settled into the cushions, taking comfort in the familiar sound of the blaring television.
Last night had been weird. Tonight was weird. Things were probably only going to get weirder. And my wolf was happier than she’d been in years.
Chapter 5
Archer
I snuggled in closer to the warm body in my bed that was taking the edge off my touch deprivation. My wolf stretched languorously, as appreciative of the skin-to-skin contact as I was. I’d been a grumpy bastard recently, this was the first time in a while I’d felt even a little content.
The shrill ring of my phone disturbed my half-awake, half-asleep happy place. I groaned, rolling over to grab it off the nightstand.
“What time is it?” Miles groaned, yanking the pillow over his face.
“Late enough for my dad to be calling.” I grimaced. Miles rolled out of bed — thankfully still in his pajama pants. Sharing a bed, with some occasional platonic spooning, was the quickest solution when we were suffering from lack of touch. Maintaining pajama pants at all times was a hard rule.
“Hey Dad,” I mumbled into the phone, cursing the thickness in my voice as Miles quietly made his escape. Fates only knew what time it was, but it would be too late to be sleeping by my father’s standards.
“Son, were you sleeping? It’s eight o’clock.” The disbelief in his voice grated on my every nerve. Fuck yes, I was sleeping. Eight o’clock was hardly a sleep-in by college standards.
“Just getting up,” I lied, scrubbing my hand down my face. I should probably shave, I looked like shit.
“Don’t make a habit of these late starts,” Dad warned. “Alphas are always on call.” And prepared for anything. “And prepared for anything.”
“Got it.” I could hear Miles moving around in the kitchen. Hopefully, he’d make me a cup of coffee. It was a crying shame that wolf telepathy was just a human fairytale.
“How are your classes going?”
“Fine,” I replied dismissively. I wouldn’t be graduating magna cum laude, but I was passing. My lecturers were all human. I did my best to keep some distance between us so they wouldn’t get pulled into my Alpha orbit and pass me automatically, but I’m sure there was still some influence rubbing off on them.
“Just fine, Arch? It was a big gamble sending you two to that school, the Elders were strongly against you spending time around so many humans. One slip up could expose all of us. You have a responsibility to all the young people in the pack to do well, show the Elders that this was worth it.”
Responsibility.
“I know, Dad. Don’t worry, it’s under control,” I insisted, rolling out of bed and grabbing clothes from around the room to throw on. Dad snorted disbelievingly down the phone. It was probably a good thing he rang, I had a class in an hour and hadn’t set an alarm.
I’d been a little distracted these past three weeks.
“How’s Mom?” I asked, eventually. Dad wanted to talk about it, I knew it in my bones, he just didn’t know how to bring it up.
“She hasn’t shifted back since the day you left for school,” he replied quietly. Fuck. That was a month ago. She’d never stayed in her fur that long.
“I should come home, Dad-”
“No,” Dad said sharply. After a pause, he blew out a long breath. “No, Arch,” he continued in a
softer voice. “It’s not because you’re away, I’m sure of it. It’s just… it’s getting worse. We knew this was coming.”
My chest constricted painfully. I thought we had longer.
“Call Flynn, would you? He misses you,” Dad added quietly. My little brother was as alpha and as dominant as I was, he wasn’t in the habit of letting people know when he was having a hard time. It must be bad if Dad had noticed.
“I will,” I promised, using my shoulder to hold the phone to my ear as I pulled my sweats on. “I’ll call him today.”
“Good. Go to class, concentrate, keep it together, Arch. You’re the future of this pack, don’t let them down.”
✽✽✽
“Archer! Come out tonight!”
“Archer, there’s a pool tournament at Barson tonight. Shots are on me, man.”
“Archerrrr.” I pushed past the girl next to me, purring my name, and waved off my classmates as I made my way out of the lecture hall. I wasn’t in the mood to go out. Hadn’t been for weeks.
I drove home from class only semi-aware of the world around me. I never used to drive to campus — it was less than half an hour walk — but driving with the windows up in the truck limited the spread of my scent. Not that she had given any indication that she was looking for me. I hadn’t picked up her scent at all since that night at the party. Neither had Miles, and he was still going out pretty regularly, seeing if she’d show up at Barson or another frat party.
I should be going out too. That was half of the reason I came to college. I hadn’t been to a party since the night I’d scented her and even though I hadn’t even picked up traces of her since then; it was somehow all I could smell all the time. It haunted me. She haunted me. I didn’t even know who she was, and I tried not to think too hard about that.
It was easier to resent her if I didn’t think of her as an actual person. When I thought about her like that... I don’t know if the guilt or my wolf clawed at my insides more.
She could always approach me though. While she stayed away, I could convince myself that we both didn't want this. Neither of us were doing anything wrong.
Fire & Gasoline: A Shifter Romance (Audax Pack Book 1) Page 5
