He did, but since he hadn’t even told Shayne that, he wasn’t about to tell his ex.
“You do,” she quietly gasped.
“Do you even need me here for this conversation?” he asked.
“No.” She shook her head as tears started filling her bottom lids and a smile spread across her face. She immediately lifted her hand and wiped beneath her eyes. “Sorry, I’m emotional.” She placed her hands over her belly as she looked down. When she looked back up she was smiling even wider and she pulled him in for a hug. “I’m so happy for you. She’s a very lucky girl.”
He hugged her back. “You do realize I never said that we were—”
She leaned back and placed her hand on his arm as a few errant tears dropped down her cheeks. “You didn’t have to. I know you. I know that look. I’ve seen it before.”
“I’m sorry, Noelle.” He hated that he wasn’t the man that she’d deserved. “For everything.”
“You okay?” Concern colored Tate’s voice as he stepped beside Noelle and wrapped a protective arm around her back.
“Yep. Everything is exactly how it should be. It’s perfect.” Noelle’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears as she lifted up on her toes and kissed her fiancé’s cheek.
As he watched Noelle with Tate, Evan knew that she was right and he felt a great sense of peace. He wasn’t a big believer in fate or things happening for a reason. He believed that people made their own fate and things happened because of people’s actions.
But in that moment, a weight lifted off his shoulders. Not only because he’d been able to apologize to Noelle but also because maybe she was right. Maybe everything was exactly as it should be. Maybe it was perfect.
Chapter 21
‡
As Shayne headed to her trailer she did her best not to let herself spiral but she felt herself unraveling. It didn’t happen often. The first time it happened was the night her grandmother died and she was separated from her brother and put into child protective services. The last time she’d had an episode was when she found out that she wasn’t going to graduate high school because she flunked English.
During her therapy the doctors told her that her spirals were actually panic attacks. Her therapist had helped her discover that they were always triggered by the same emotion: fear. Fear of the future. Fear of the unknown. Fear of having no control.
She didn’t need to spend two hundred dollars and sixty minutes on a couch to deduce that was what had triggered it today.
After meeting Noelle, and seeing just how beautiful, sweet, and incredible she was, Shayne felt overwhelmed with fear. If he couldn’t commit to her, a woman he’d loved for over half his life, what chance did she have?
He’d loved Noelle, even admitted that he always would. Still, that hadn’t been enough.
She loved Evan. And even if he loved her back, she wasn’t sure that would make a difference. It hadn’t with Noelle.
But she would have to deal with that later, because she still had ten hours of work ahead of her. But first she needed to deal with Chester. She wished that she’d known he was coming today. Ruby had stayed back at the rental to catch up on some work. Nolan was around somewhere, but he wouldn’t have been much help since he wasn’t very good at hiding his dislike for her manager.
Her chest burned as she stepped up the metal staircase and opened the trailer door. Ninety percent of her panic was because of her feelings and attachment to Evan but the other ten percent was her anxiety about Chester.
These six weeks had been the longest she’d gone without seeing him since the first day they met. Their time apart had opened her eyes to just how toxic he was. She needed to fire him, she just wasn’t sure how to do it. She was going to have to talk to her lawyer to find out the best way to dissolve her business ties to Chester.
When she stepped inside, she found Chester manspreading on her couch that sat at the back of her trailer. That douchey habit was another he’d picked up in the past couple of years. Every time he sat down lately his knees were spread farther and farther apart. If she weren’t walking along the edge of a total meltdown, she’d find the comedy in just how ridiculous he looked.
“Finally,” he murmured as she shut the door, not looking up from his phone. “I’ve been waiting for over an hour.”
If this same exchange had occurred five weeks ago, she would’ve apologized. Not because she actually would’ve thought she’d done anything wrong, but just to keep the peace.
“I was working.” Now, she was less concerned about rocking the boat and more concerned with standing up for herself. Figuratively, that is. In the literal sense, she wanted to sit. She’d been running through the forest carrying heavy fire-fighting equipment for the last four hours and her legs were tired. So she sat in the chair that faced the door.
For the next thirty minutes they talked about business. He pitched her several projects that she’d been offered as well as a couple of brand endorsements. They fell into a familiar rhythm and she started to relax a little. Talking about business had gotten her mind off of Evan, and Chester was talking to her like he had when they’d first started working together. Maybe she was jumping the gun in her decision to let him go. People went through phases and it could be that was what was happening to him.
He started to wrap things up when he said, “And as far as the Blane situation—”
“There is no Blane situation. I don’t want anything to do with him. Professionally or personally.”
“Fine,” Chester nodded, still not looking at her. “After this, you don’t have to see him again.”
Shayne didn’t know the details of what he was asking her to do, but she already knew her answer. “I’m done with anything to do with Blane.”
“We just need to give the media something else to report on until this blows over.”
Shayne still had no idea what her manager was talking about.
When she didn’t respond, Chester finally looked up from his phone. “You don’t know?”
“I don’t care.”
“Blane got caught in a hotel room with a hooker and coke.”
That didn’t surprise her. It wouldn’t surprise her if Chester had set him up. He’d done it before with other clients. Any publicity was good publicity to him. So if he wanted someone in the headlines he’d “shake things up” to make sure they were front page on all the gossip mags. Then, if her suspicions were accurate, there was the added bonus of him swooping in and saving the day, making himself look like a hero in his clients’ eyes even though he’d been the one causing the damage in the first place.
“We need to do some damage control and I think a few Foxly sightings should do the trick.”
“No,” Shayne stated firmly.
“Blane will be back in LA this weekend. You can fly back after the wrap party. You can do a patio lunch at The Ivy or Urth Caffe.” Chester looked back down at his phone as he spoke.
“No,” she refused for the second time.
“You’ll be in and out in an hour, tops.”
“No,” she repeated even though she doubted the third time would be the charm.
As expected, he ignored her. “Just sit where the paps can see you. Make sure that you give them some money shots. A kiss. Laughing. You know the drill.”
She figured that at some point he’d have to acknowledge her and until then, she didn’t see the point of explaining her original answer.
“No.” Now she was just repeating it to see how long it would take him to notice. If ever.
“We’ll say one. I’ll put in a call to Deb and make sure that she gets the word out.”
Deb was Shayne’s publicist. She and Blane were two peas in a pod. They always presented a united front.
A team was supposed to be working toward the same goal. The people on the team didn’t always have to agree or get along, but to be truly successful they all had to be playing by the same rules. They weren’t playing by her rules which included decency and respect.
She opened her mouth to say no again, but instead heard herself saying, “Chester, you’re fired.”
That got his attention. He looked up at her and there was genuine shock on his face.
She had to admit she was a little surprised herself.
“Ha ha. Very funny,” he played it off like it was a bad joke.
It might’ve been better for her to wait until she had legal counsel, but since the cat was out of the bag, she didn’t see any reason to put it back in. “I am terminating our business relationship. I am no longer your client. You no longer have any legal authority to represent me.”
“Is this because I haven’t been here holding your hand?” he asked calmly, but she could sense the anger seething just beneath the surface of his words.
“No. I’m firing you because you’re a selfish, lying, scheming asshole which might make you a great manager but it makes you a horrible human being.” It felt so good to finally say those things to his face.
“You can’t do this.” He stood from the couch and took two steps so that he was now hovering over her.
She stood and because he was so close, her chest bumped against his. He didn’t budge. Neither did she. With a calm authority, she demanded, “You need to leave. Now.”
He must’ve sensed how serious she was because like the excellent manipulator he was, he changed tactics.
Stepping back to give her a little space, he lifted his hands in mock-surrender. “It’s been a long shoot. Let’s talk about this when you get back to LA.”
“My decision is not going to change. Goodbye, Chester.” She started to move around him to leave, since he didn’t seem to have any plans to do so.
“Fine. Ten grand,” he bargained.
“What?” Was he actually offering to pay her to represent her?
“For the lunch with Blane. I already told him you would be there,” she saw a glimmer of panic in his eyes.
If he lost Shayne and Blane it would hurt him, not just in his pocket book, but his reputation in the industry. She shook her head and started to walk around him.
“Fine.” He stepped in front of her, blocking her exit as desperation filled his. “Twenty.”
“I’m not a prostitute!” She tried once again to get around him but he moved in closer, halting her escape as he stood taller and his arms reached out so that his body was surrounding her.
“You’re an actress. That’s exactly what you are!”
Her knee lifted and made contact with his nuts at the same time her trailer door flew open. Everything happened so fast. There was a blur of motion and the next thing she knew, Evan had a whimpering Chester up against the wall with his hand around his throat.
“Apologize. Now.”
“That bitch assaulted me!” Chester coughed. “You assaulted me!”
Evan must’ve tightened his grip because Chester’s coughing got worse. “Apologize. Now.”
“I’m sorry!” Chester’s managed to choke out. Shayne saw his eyes tear up.
“Stop!” She grabbed Evan’s arm. “Let him go.”
Evan immediately dropped his hand and Chester crumbled to the ground.
“I’m going to sue. Both of you!”
“Fine. Then I’ll let Blane know that you were the one that set him up. You sent the hooker with the coke to his hotel room.”
Chester’s eyes widened and there was more fear in them than when Evan was cutting off his oxygen. “How did you—”
“I didn’t. It was a guess.” But he’d just confirmed her suspicions.
“You don’t have any proof.” Chester stood and faltered slightly before regaining his balance.
“Do you really think Blane’s gonna ask for proof?”
She saw that he wanted to say more, but he thought better of it and left.
Evan shut the door behind him and pulled her into his arms. It wasn’t until then that she felt how fast her heart was pounding. Her entire body was trembling with adrenaline.
“Are you okay?” He asked as he kissed the top of her head and ran his large, warm hands up and down her back.
All she wanted to do was melt against his strength. It would be so tempting to absorb the comfort of his support. But something stopped her.
It was self-preservation. He wasn’t hers to lean on. She wasn’t his to protect. If she didn’t start distancing herself now, she was going to fall even deeper in love with him.
When it came to removing Band-Aids, there were two different philosophies: rip it off in one painful tug or peel it off in a slower, less extreme manner. She’d always been firmly on Team Rip It Off.
Why would she want to prolong agony, just to save herself a little extra sting?
“Yes.” She pulled out of his arms and took two steps back. “Thanks, but you didn’t need to do that. I was handling it.”
He stared at her for a moment, his face going blank before saying. “I’m sorry. I was coming to talk to you and I heard loud voices.”
“What did you need?” There was no familiarity in her tone. Nothing that would indicate that he’d been buried inside of her just this morning.
His eyes narrowed slightly at the corners before he turned to leave. “It’s nothing—”
“No,” She stopped him. “What is it?”
An urgency rose inside of her. She wanted, no needed, to hear what he’d come to talk to her about. He’d never sought her out to speak to her about anything personal during the entire shoot.
Did it have something to do with the fact that Noelle had just been here?
“It’s not the right time,” he said with a finality that pissed her off.
“Well, I’m leaving Sunday so time’s running out,” she snapped. She didn’t mean to but between the spiraling, and Chester her nerves were raw. Her chest felt like there was an elephant sitting on it. In a way, there was. The elephant of their time together being over.
“Are you okay?” he asked again, as concern filled his eyes.
She took a deep breath and forced herself to smile. She’d learned a long time ago that you caught more flies with honey than with vinegar. And she really wanted to know what he’d come to tell her. “I’m fine. Sorry, that was just…intense. What did you want to talk to me about? I want to know.”
Evan’s lips tightened and she could see the indecision battling behind his stare. Finally, he let out a small sigh. “I wanted to wait until we were, alone. Not here, on set. But, I know you have night shoots the next three nights and I wasn’t sure if I’d see you.”
She’d wondered the same thing. She’d been arriving at his house in the dark of night and leaving before the sun rose. Now that her schedule was changing she assumed that their arrangement would change.
Shayne held her breath, wondering if this was goodbye or if he was going to say that he wanted to see her after the movie wrapped. She wasn’t sure which one would be worse. If he did the Band-Aid ripping for her, or if she had to do it. Because the one thing she knew was that she couldn’t go on dating him knowing that he could never truly commit to her.
He reached in his pocket, pulled out an envelope, and handed it to her.
“What is this?” She looked down at it.
“I found your brother.”
“What?!” Her eyes shot back up to him as her chest caved in with pressure.
“Benji. I found him. I knew that you were scared to do it because of your celebrity and bringing craziness into his life if the media found out.” Evan spoke quietly as he explained, “I used a guy that is ex-CIA. He didn’t contact Benji or his adopted family but Benji does know he’s adopted. He has a YouTube channel and he’s talked about wanting to find his birth parents.”
“His parents.” Shayne started to tear up.
Evan nodded, “Yeah. His adoptive parents didn’t have any information on him or his birth family.”
Logically, she knew that he was too little to remember her, but there’d always be a part of her that had held out hope that he did.
<
br /> “He’s a musician,” Evan continued. “He’s going to the prestigious Berklee College of Music.”
Shayne heard a rustle and looked down to see that the envelope was shaking. Evan reached out and covered her trembling hands with his, but she pulled away from him.
There was a knock at the door. “We’re ready for you, Shayne.”
“I’ll be there in a minute.” She looked around the trailer, wondering where a safe place to put the envelope would be. She didn’t want to take a chance that Chester would come back and find it. Not knowing what else to do, she looked at Evan. “Can you bring this to Ruby? She’s working from the house today.”
Evan took the envelope, his fingers brushing hers as he did. “I’m so sorry. I really fucked up. I shouldn’t have done this here.”
“It’s fine,” Shayne wiped her eyes as she lied, “I’m fine.”
“Shayne.” Evan lifted his hand to brush away a tear that had fallen down her cheek, but she moved away and pushed past him.
As she opened the trailer door, she took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh pine smell and told herself that she would be fine. After this movie was over, she’d go back home and she’d be fine. A familiar numbness that she recognized washed over her immediately. She wasn’t upset, she wasn’t sad, and she wasn’t scared. She was just numb.
She’d survive, just like she always had.
Chapter 22
‡
“Hey man,” Troy joined Evan at the large window that overlooked the town proper. “I think we’re going to take off.”
They’d been at the Red Card Warning wrap party for about an hour. It was being held at The Cove which was an upscale restaurant that overlooked the valley in which Hope Falls was nestled.
“Are you sure?” Evan felt like shit. He’d been a terrible host.
Troy and his little sister, Mila, had taken the detour Troy had promised on their way back from Disneyland and come to visit him.
They’d arrived early this morning. Evan had shown them around town, and done his best to be a good tour guide, but he’d barely slept since he’d fucked things up with Shayne three days ago.
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