by J. S. Carter
“Here.” He handed me an empty bag. “Fill it with food and water. Whatever you can find.”
I started to juggle with everything in front of me before sticking my head through the rifle strap and throwing it over my shoulder.
“We got two minutes. Hurry up.”
I ran into the next room and searched for anything I could find. My eyes quickly glazed over every surface until I found the familiar signs: cabinets, a faucet, a mini fridge. I tore each of them open and stuffed the contents into the bag. I didn’t even bother looking at what I was taking as long as it wasn’t empty. There would be time to sort it out later.
I slammed another empty cabinet shut as I looked back down at the half-filled piece of nylon. There had to be more. I swung my rifle back in front of me as I ran into another hall, a row of jail cells. They were all empty so I kept running until someone called my name again.
“Tess?”
I dropped the bag and struggled to bring my gun up until I pointed it at a brick wall. Confused, I looked down to see a pair of hands poking out of a small slot halfway from the bottom.
“Hey, it’s me.” They waved and I couldn’t believe I recognized the voice again.
“Jeremy?” I threw the rifle to the side and fell onto my knees and grabbed his hands. I could barely make out his eyes on the other side as we both smiled at each other.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
I almost laughed, glad to hear his voice again. “I don’t know.”
“Well fuck, that’s good enough for me. Can you get me the hell out of here, please?”
We held on to each other, my smile fading as soon I looked around for a door handle, a lock, anything that I could recognize as a port of entry. The bricks were stacked on the inside of the cell and it made it look like a tomb. The grout was still fresh. I could still smell and see it stick out from the cracks. It must have been what Ellie had seen before, but all of it for one person? For Jeremy? I came back down to him. “How?”
“I don’t know. There’s a door behind me on the other side. That’s how I got in.”
“Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
“Where the hell am I supposed to go?”
“Shut up.” I smiled and kissed his hands before finally grabbing my rifle again.
I left the duffle bag on the ground and started to run back down the hall from where I came in, faintly remembering another path that I thought would lead to him. I spent so much time rushing that I had never even bothered to check if my gun was loaded. If I did, I would have been ready. Instead, I just stared at another man’s face as I turned the corner and ran into his chest. I couldn’t think.
I brought my rifle up and pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. Not even the familiar click. I hadn’t even cycled the bolt. At that point I might as well have been holding on to an expensive paper weight. I pulled the trigger again to find the same thing happen when the man in front of me finally recovered and reached for a pistol at the side of his hip. I let go and reached for my shiv. I shoved his chest to try and knock him off balance.
He managed to bring his gun up just as I pushed the tip of my sharpened plastic down and into his shoulder to send a cry of pain from his mouth and a bullet across my face.
A flash of light immediately burned itself into my eyes and my ears were ringing. I struggled to see past the grit in front of my nose and I pushed him over a desk and onto the ground. I couldn’t believe I had missed. I couldn't believe he had missed.
He started to blindly fire in my direction and I dove for cover. The sudden explosions that hurled metal towards my body were completely unknown to me and were absolutely terrifying, but I couldn’t stop.
I grabbed the end of my rifle with both hands at the base and waited, springing up to swing it like a bat at the side of his head when he came closer. I missed again and skinned a piece of his hand off as his pistol flew across the room and hit the wall. I brought my arms back for another swing, but I took too long.
He grabbed me by the waist and tackled me down, my back hitting the ground first followed by the extension of my head a split second later. The pain was numbing and threatened to cut out my vision as he stole my rifle and pushed it against the base of my throat.
I pushed up as hard as I could, but he was too strong. I could feel the edge of the rail system cut into my skin as I struggled to breathe. I was losing. My body deprived of oxygen, everything started to feel like lead. I could see darkness start to close over my eyes just as the man shook explosively.
His shoulder bounced over the side of his body when a deafening roar broke into my ears and a piece of his chest burst outward onto the wall behind me. He fell over dead before he even hit the ground.
I could barely see Chris at the end of the hall with a rifle in hand while I absolutely exerted myself to force air through my mouth and back into my lungs.
“Tess!” He pulled me up and I tried to stop my coughing fit, my eyes barely making anything out. “Come on, we gotta go. We’re going loud from here on out.” He swung the sling of my rifle back over my shoulders and pulled me along, but I protested. I needed to tell him about Jeremy. I needed to show him where to go.
I looked up and finally managed to get a single word out as another sharp pain crashed itself into the base of my spine and up into the back of my neck. I instantly recognized the defibrillating torture and I struggled to keep myself awake. I couldn’t believe it was happening again. Out of all places, it had to have happened there and then. I could feel the necklace burn a hole through my skin.
I dropped down onto my knees and screamed as a molten hot bar seared a path through the back of my skull. I struggled to keep my eyes open and Chris pulled me up. My legs couldn’t support my own weight anymore as I fought the transition. I could feel my mind start to slip away from my body. I couldn’t control anything anymore. I was still caught in between worlds. I could barely tell as Chris started carrying me through the next hallway, my conscience falling through the cracks and into a precipice unseen before I arrived.
I could feel her again.
We both looked down at our dress and onto the top of our stocking covered legs straddled by uncomfortable heels. We ran a hand down the side of our hip and smoothed out the wrinkle next to the side of our thigh, the red silk smooth against our skin.
I felt embarrassed from their laughter as warmth immediately flooded my cheeks. I stared at the ground and tried to point it away, but they had made fun of me because they didn’t understand what I was. I had been ridiculed, my heart broken, my dignity slashed into pieces in front of my own eyes. They couldn’t have known who I was. They couldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to take it any longer. I’d just have to show them.
An immense, dark, engulfing feeling of hatred boiled up inside of my chest as I reached down and grabbed a gold plated knife off a dinner table. I flashed my best smile as I walked across the ball room, the live orchestra drowning out my footsteps on the clear marble floor as scores of dancers pranced to either side of me like a river parting around a boulder. Now it was my time to smile. I was going to show them who I really was. I was going to teach and they’d be enlightened.
I reached the small group and they turned to look at me, smug. I met their smiles again, this time genuine. They were going to be my friends now. I sidestepped the first woman and grabbed her husband, bringing him down into the sloppiest kiss I could muster around his lips. I took what I wanted. This was the real me.
His woman pushed me off, speechless, her prowess for feigning ignorance quickly morphing into utter contempt. “What do you think you’re doing?”
I smiled again and brought the knife up to meet their eyes.
I want to show you.
I watched as the blade melted through their abdomens like butter. I could feel their pain as blood wept from their bodies uncontrollably. They were terrified. They should have been. The real me was one to be afraid of.
I caught a man’s fist in my h
and as he swung it towards my face. I met his eyes and they bulged out in surprise. He didn’t think that was possible, but I knew now. I knew how life worked. I crushed his hand from the sheer strength of my own and watched as he crumbled down onto the ground, screaming for his torture to stop, but it wouldn’t, not tonight. Tonight, I had to show them.
I felt the bones scrunched in the palm of my hand further rearrange themselves while I squeezed them into a ball. His pain was amazing. It was so intense, so profound, that I could have felt it from outside. I stabbed him in the chest repeatedly until I watched his breathing slow to a stop. His life escaped with the last beat of his heart and I wondered, is that how he was meant to understand who I was? Is that how a witch introduces herself?
The other two in front of me began to run away as the music began to fall apart.
I turned back to face the screaming crowd, only to see a line of men clad in steal armor that gleamed with light as they brandished their swords and came forward.
“Drop the knife!”
The rest of the men and women began to run away at the sight of it all, but I closed my eyes and held the doors in place.
I could feel them knock their bodies against the individual grains of wood, but it wouldn't be enough. They were held back. It was exactly what I had been practicing for.
“I said drop it!”
I opened my eyes to see the soldiers come in closer and start to encircle me— a killing formation, no doubt, but for who? I held my hand forward and grinned as they became transfixed on the knife that floated up above my palm on an invisible curtain of air.
Yes sir.
I flicked my wrist and watched the missile drive itself into the nearest man's throat before he doubled over in agony. I relished his pain. I strove to memorize the physicality and the pattern of the damage as it had torn his skin in two and pierced deep into his flesh.
The rest of the soldiers charged at me and I brought my hand forward to keep them still.
I closed my eyes and immediately found their throats, soft skin underneath lips that parted to shout for help, to scream aimlessly and to open for air. I could feel the intense network of veins throughout their faces, a web that fed and nourished the complicated muscles all the way to the surface, but that wasn't what I wanted.
I swam back down and onto the side to find their jugulars, pulsating deeply and profusely amid their new stress, and I cut them open. I reached across the veins on their necks and forced a fissure to open up underneath their jaws. Like gliding a hidden blade in front of me, each man in turn began to panic and choke as blood erupted from their bodies and washed over their chests.
I let go and they fell in silence. All of them. Every single one. I was suddenly surrounded by the sound of a hundred human beings drowning in their own fluid and a shiny floor that was increasingly becoming covered in crimson.
The doors to the room rocked back and forth from the pressure and shouting from outside. The grains began to splinter and crack. I wouldn't be able to hold them still for much longer.
I cast out for the small flames lit on each table and washed them over the bodies, over the walls, over the floor and onto the silent orchestra drenched in blood. I watched as the fire started to catch on its own, now fed by new fuel that would turn to ash and nourish the earth once more.
Then I heard the screaming.
I turned to face a woman as she tackled me onto the ground. She had been torn apart, her body spent and bleeding, exhausted. Still, surrounded by fire, she managed to force her hands around my neck, pressured the air to escape my lungs and kept me from breathing. I struggled to fight back as my vision began to fade, but it was hopeless. It grew dark and I began to see the familiar night sky filled with stars.
When I came back, I opened my eyes to see Chris on top of me with his hands underneath my chin.
“Jessica!”
I turned over onto my side and threw up, the pain in my throat coalescing until I could finally breath again. I coughed and sputtered and threw myself onto my back, scrambling away from Chris until I finally noticed we were outside. The sun had long set and we were in the middle of nowhere.
“Are you okay?”
I pulled my hand up to stop him from coming any closer. I had to take a minute to understand what I had just gone through. All my senses struggled to register with their new surroundings. We were outside of town. I could feel a cool breeze splash itself against my skin as I tried to keep my eyes focused on one thing at a time before they finally rested on the heart shaped pendant that dangled from my neck. It had happened again, but I had to forget about it for now. I had to. I looked back up at Chris. “Where the hell are we?”
“Just outside Arrino. We're safe.”
I could just make out the faint sound of gunfire before turning around to look at the source. I watched the dark outline of the town as small specks of light danced from its outskirts. Something was going on. They were fighting.
Chris muttered over my shoulder. “We got lucky. I'm not sure we would have made it if they weren't busy.”
Busy?
Was that what being shot at was called now?
“I think you hit your head pretty hard at the station. I figured the drugs weren’t doing you any better so I got ‘em out the good old fashioned way.”
I reached a hand up to gently touch my tender neck and winced. Chris had saved my life.
He readjusted his rifle and my thoughts fell back towards the town.
Jeremy...
I struggled to get back up and grabbed my rifle. My head was still pounding. The taste of blood was still fresh in my mouth. I already had trouble staying up.
“What are you doing?”
I waved him off and caught myself on a dizzy footing. “Amanda, everyone else...we have to go get them.”
Chris caught me before I could even take a step away from him. “We can’t.”
I pushed him away and began to yell. “What the hell are you talking about? They’re still there! We have to go back!” I tried to run away and he dragged me down to the ground. “Get the hell off of me!”
“Jessica—”
“Get off!” I kicked him in the face and started dragging my arms through the dirt. I’d barely gotten a few feet until he grabbed my legs and rolled me over.
“TESS!”
I pushed up at his chest until he pinned the full weight of his body down against my arms. I wouldn’t be going anywhere, but I still struggled to get free and screamed in his face.
He put a hand over my mouth and muffled it before looking back at the town to see if anyone had heard.
I had left everyone back there. They had all been counting on me and I just deserted them. They were all still there because of me. I started to cry as Chris leaned over me with a busted lip.
“Tess, listen to me. We can’t go back. Everyone’s awake, they’re all armed. We’d never make it in alive.”
I could feel my tears roll down my cheeks and onto his hand. We stared at each for a moment and I mumbled underneath his palm.
He furrowed his brow, directing me not to scream again and took his hand off my mouth.
I let myself breath in the cool air for a few more seconds, my tears still coming down. “We’re only alive because of them...” I slammed my head back into the ground at the sound of my own words. I didn’t care about the pain. I had messed everything up. I had left them all there to die. I had felt what it was like again. The sensation still fresh in my mind urged me to run back and get them.
Chris reluctantly stood up and I brushed the dirt off my chest in anger. He shouldn’t have gone without taking anyone else. He was selfish. He fucked them over.
I wiped my nose on the back of my hand. “You should have left me there.”
“No...” He slung his rifle over his shoulder and grabbed a pair of duffel bags. “The whole point was to get the two of us out alive.”
I stared up at him from the ground, still sniffling. “So that’s it, then?
We just leave them? That’s the plan?”
“We’ll come back.”
“When?” I let the word come out like venom. I wanted to hurt him, to make him feel what I felt, but he showed no sign.
“WHEN YOU’RE READY.” He glared down at me, seeming to get upset and then took a breath, looking across the field around us.
What was that supposed to mean? When would I ever be ready? What could I possibly have to do to meet his standards?
He spoke softer, his words now probably chosen in advance. “What you’re talking about is complicated and I can’t do it alone.” He held up his bandaged hand. “Fuck, I couldn’t do it alone even if I wanted to. You’re just gonna have to trust me. And that...” He pointed back at the lights surrounding the town. “Whatever that is... it's gonna have to wait.”
I sat on the ground and drowned in my own thoughts. Three people had to die to get us out of there. I had promised Jeremy I’d come back and Amanda was no better off than anyone else. I felt like such an asshole.
“Come on.” Chris readjusted the rifle on his shoulder and offered me his hand. “We should keep moving before we settle down for the night. We’re still too close to risk it.”
I got up on my own but stopped to look back at Arrino. The moving lights and sporadic gunfire were a better distraction than we could have ever dreamed of, though at the expense of everyone else. I had no clue what everyone would have to go through and no idea if I would even see the town again. I had wanted to run away from Arrino as soon as I saw it, but now it almost took too much to turn away from the darkened silhouettes of the buildings and leave everyone inside behind.
Chris put a hand on my shoulder. “They'll be okay.”
I shoved him off of me and only glared back. Why did I feel like those words sounded so familiar? I didn't want to think about it. I shouldered my rifle and walked away from the town without even bothering to pay attention to where I was going. I could hear Chris grab the duffel bags that he had managed to bring with and follow suit.
