When she got home she went straight upstairs and put her purchases on her bed and then found her cell phone charger and plugged it into her cell phone. She went back downstairs and found her mother and all three children in the family room. Jerome and Aaron said “Hi” to her as she walked into the family room, then continued watching cartoons. Lily was in the playpen, and as soon as she saw Cassandra she started crying and holding her hands out, begging to be picked up. Cassandra gave her mother a knowing look. Lily had probably been left in the playpen the entire time, receiving none of the attention that Jerome and Aaron had received from their loving grandmother.
“Hey sweetie,” Cassandra said as she picked her up. She bounced her around and gave her a big hug. And then kissed her on the cheek, hoping that would make up for the affection she hadn’t received this afternoon. She sat down with Lily on her lap and said, “Sorry, I took so long. I had this urge to buy something at the mall. I would have called, but my cell was dead.”
“So that’s why.” Mattie said, more to herself than to Cassandra.
“That’s why what?”
“Oh, nothing. Did you find something pretty while you were out?” Mattie asked.
Cassandra smiled. “I sure did. I’m ready to kiss winter goodbye, so I purchased two spring dresses. JT is going to be mad because we’re not supposed to spend any money for the next two months, but he’ll get over it.”
“Girl, I don’t know how you put up with that broke man. I mean, when the boy had money, I could at least tell folks that you didn’t care nothing about that flim-flam man. I told them that you were a gold digger.”
“Mother!”
“Well I did. Now what can I say? I’m stuck for the reason my daughter is stupid enough to stay married to such a… a-”
“Once again, I must remind you that you’re saying this stuff in front of my children. Could you please stop?”
Mattie rolled her eyes as she said, “Y’all got too many rules in this house. Don’t want nobody truth talking, so I’m just gon’ shut up.” She put her fingers to her mouth and acted as if she had a key and was locking her lips.
“You are such a drama queen,” Cassandra said while shaking her head. “Anyway, did anybody call while I was gone?”
Mattie looked at Cassandra but didn’t respond.
“Mother, did anybody call me?”
Again, Mattie did not respond.
Cassandra got up from the couch and took Lily upstairs with her. She turned her phone on so that she could check her messages while it was charging. That’s when she noticed that JT had called her five times already. She listened to the messages and could tell that he was angry. His last message even accused her of avoiding his calls. When she finished listening to all five of JT’s messages she hit end on her cell phone and started to dial his phone, but then realization struck her.
Diane must have sent that photo of her and Dr. Clarkson to JT. Cassandra stood up and paced around the room. Could her husband really believe that she was cheating on him? What was she supposed to do? Call JT back and tell him that she’s not cheating, but seeing a therapist? She was uncomfortable about going to a therapist anyway, and she never wanted anyone to know that she had to talk to someone other than God about her issues.
She couldn’t just let JT think she was a cheater, could she? Cassandra paced back and forth as she decided her course of action. What she really wanted to do was to go find Diane and beat some sense into that woman. Hadn’t she done enough to her when she slept with her husband and had a baby by him? Did Cassandra really have to deal with this woman spying on her as well?
Ten
“Why haven’t you returned any of my calls?” JT asked on Friday morning when Cassandra finally answered the telephone.
“Hello, JT, thanks for asking, I’m doing well. How about you?”
“This is no time to be cute, Cassandra. We need to talk.”
“If talking to me was so important, you’d be home by now. But you’re not, are you? Probably not even down there with Lamont. Probably got some woman in New Orleans.”
“That’s not even funny, Cassandra. But I know you’ve been in the house for days now with your mother, so it’s no telling what she’s filled your head with.”
As soon as she said it, she wanted to take those words back. She knew how important it was to JT to help Lamont get his life together. And to find out that the boy had been hanging onto life by a thread had to be devastating to JT. “I’m sorry about that. How is Lamont doing?”
JT’s smile could be heard through the phone as he said, “The doctors say that he’s out of the woods. He looks a lot better too, Cassandra. And above all of that, he’s finally agreed to come to Cleveland with me. I’ve been trying to call you to tell you that.”
Now she felt bad for ignoring his calls. She’d thought that he wanted to talk with her about the pictures Diane took of her and Dr. Clarkson on Wednesday. And all this time, he’d just wanted to share his good news. “I got your messages, but my cell phone died on me. By the time I got it charged, the kids needed dinner and then their baths and time just got away from me.”
“I understand. But why didn’t you call me back yesterday. I left you messages on Thursday also.”
“I didn’t even check my messages yesterday, JT.” That was true. She knew that JT had called seven times, because she was either in the room while her cell was ringing and didn’t answer it. Or she’d seen that she received a missed call from him. But not once yesterday did she check her voicemail. “Anyway,” she said, changing the subject, “I’m glad Lamont has changed his mind about moving here.”
“Yeah, me too.” There was silence on the line and then JT asked, “How are the kids doing?”
“They’re doing good. Driving me up a wall as usual.”
Again, an uncomfortable silence on the line and then JT said, “We need to talk, Cassandra. My flight leaves in an hour. Can you make sure that your mother is not there when I get home?”
“Are you planning to tell me about all the phone calls that Diane Benson has been making to your cell phone?” Cassandra said defiantly. Now she knew for sure that JT had received those pictures from Diane but she wasn’t going to let them make her feel bad. They were the ones that needed to answer for their actions.
“Diane called on Tuesday. She asked me to give Lily back to her. I told her that wasn’t going to happen.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you talked to her? How am I supposed to trust you if you hide things from me?” Cassandra demanded.
“I didn’t have a chance. I got the phone call about Lamont before you got home and hadn’t given Diane another thought.”
“Mmh.”
“It’s the truth, Cassandra. I’ve been trying to show you for months now that I can be trusted. I do understand why it’s taking you a while to see that I’ve changed, but can we at least be reasonable with each other?”
Cassandra held the phone but didn’t respond. She knew that she hadn’t been acting like a rational person of late, but what did he want from her? She was trying to get over his betrayal and the hurt it had caused. Some days were just harder than others.
“We’re getting off the subject,” JT said. “I need to ask you about a picture I received-”
“Ask me when you get home,” Cassandra said testily and then hung up the phone. She stood there for a moment with her hand on the receiver. She should call JT back. Cassandra wasn’t sure why she had responded that way to him. Why didn’t she just let him ask her about the picture so she could tell him who the guy was? She took her hand off the phone and turned to go check on the kids.
“Trouble in paradise?” Mattie asked when Cassandra turned around.
“Were you standing there listening to my conversation?”
“It’s not like you’re in the bedroom and I had my ear up against the door. You’re standing right here in the living room.”
“There is such a thing called common courtesy,” Cassandra sai
d as she rolled her eyes and tried to walk away from her mother.
“Don’t you get snippy with me just because that husband of yours is out cattin’ around. I didn’t do this to you. I tried to warn you. I said, ‘Don’t marry him, Cassandra. He’s going to unload a world of misery on you’.”
Cassandra rolled her eyes as she walked into the family room and sat down.
Mattie followed. “Every time I think about you and JT it reminds me of this joke I heard a TV preacher tell.
Cassandra groaned and buried her head in her hands.
Mattie continued, unfazed by her daughter’s lack of interest. “It went like this… The devil interrupted this church service when he stood behind the pulpit and glared at the congregation.
“The congregation went wild. Everybody jumped out of their seats and fled the church. Everyone except for one lady who remained in her seat, looking toward the pulpit as if nothing out of the ordinary had just occurred.
“The devil looked at the woman and said, ‘Everyone else has fled, aren’t you afraid of me too?’
“She smirked as she continued to stare at him, ‘Why should I be afraid? I’ve been married to your son for thirty years.’”
Cassandra stood up and faced off with her mother. “That’s it. I am having enough trouble in my marriage without help from you.”
“It’s not my fault that you married that devil.”
“JT is not the devil. He is trying to be a better man. Anyone with eyes can see that.”
Mattie harrumphed as she said, “I don’t know what kind of vision you got, Cassandra Ann. But I see a snake and a devil every time I look at your husband.”
Maybe that was the problem. Cassandra could see now that her mother didn’t want JT to change, so she would never see the truth. She would never see the man that JT Thomas had become… A loving, affectionate family man. But Cassandra saw the difference. She had lived with the man for eight years. She knew when JT was on the right path with the Lord, and had prayed every day for his deliverance when he’d gone all wrong.
Nobody could tell her a thing about her husband that she didn’t already know. She was married to a good man, and the only time she didn’t believe it was when she was listening to her mother. “You’ve got to go,” Cassandra said with finality in her voice.
“So you’re throwing me out of your house again, huh?”
Cassandra knew her mother was referring to the time when JT got so fed up with her put downs that he told her to get out of their house, and Cassandra didn’t stop him. She had felt guilty about allowing her mother to be thrown out of her home that day. But her mother was a bitter and unhappy woman and Cassandra couldn’t be around her right now. “I’m sorry, Mother. But this is the way it has to be. Until you can respect my husband, you can’t be around the children anymore either.”
“What?” Mattie exploded. “I love my grandchildren and they love me. You are wrong for this, Cassandra.”
“How many grandchildren do you have, Mother?”
“I have two, Jerome and Aaron,” Mattie answered without a moment’s hesitation.
“That’s the problem,” Cassandra told her. “Because I have three children. Lily has become just as much a part of me as Jerome and Aaron. And I won’t let you mistreat her anymore.”
“You cannot take my grandchildren away from me,” Mattie screamed.
“I don’t want to, Mother. But the things you say about their father around them are not helpful at all. I can’t allow that anymore.” Somebody must be praying for her strength, Cassandra thought. Because she didn’t even know where all of this ‘truth talking’ as her mother called it, was coming from. She normally allowed her mother to get away with saying just about anything, thinking that if she ignored her, she would stop. But something inside of her clicked when she hung up the phone with JT. It was as if God himself allowed her to see that she wasn’t giving him a fair shake. Cassandra knew one thing for sure right now – she wanted her marriage to work. And if that’s what she wanted, she would have to stop spending so much time rehashing the past. “I’m going to pray for you, Mother. You’ve got too much bitterness locked inside you right now. You can’t see it, but watching you carry that bitterness around is draining me of all the strength I have.”
“Oh, so I’m a bitter old woman, am I?” Mattie opened the closet, grabbed her overnight bag and her purse. She then went up the stairs and into Jerome and Aaron’s room. She kissed them while they slept. As she came out of the room she angrily turned her back to Lily’s door and marched back down the stairs. “This bitter old woman knows how to leave a place where she’s not wanted.” She opened the front door and then turned back to glare at Cassandra. “You just remember this, girl. I changed your diapers and put food in your belly. I put a roof over your head and gave your children a place to stay when you left that no good husband that you’re standing there protecting.” She pointed at her as she said, “You’re not going to keep my grandchildren away from me.”
As Mattie slammed the door, Cassandra sat down on the bottom step in the entryway and cried. She loved JT and she loved her mother. Why did the two of them always force her to choose?
***
Fuming from ear to ear, Mattie cursed like a sailor as she drove home. She hadn’t asked to come over to their raggedy old house. Cassandra had called and asked her to spend a few nights with her. If she was that bad of a person, why would Cassandra want to spend time with her in the first place?
First JT took the kids away from her on Tuesday and now her own daughter had the audacity to say that she wasn’t welcome there and that she couldn’t see her grandchildren, like she was poison or something. Did they think she would infect the kids with words? Or were they just afraid to hear the truth?
“Cassandra has turned her back on me one too many times. And for a baby that’s not even hers,” Mattie fussed as she turned into her driveway.
She parked the car, got out and stomped all the way to her front door. When she opened the door an odor caught her attention and she rushed into the kitchen to find that she had forgotten to take the trash out. Now she was really mad with Cassandra. Trying to do something for that ungrateful girl, she’d left all this stanking trash in her house and now she was going to need to deodorize the place. She grabbed the trash bag and walked it to the trash can outside.
When she came back in the house she noticed that the light was flashing on her answering machine. She walked over to it and pushed the button to listen to her messages. The box told her that she had five unplayed messages. The first, second and third messages were from bill collectors. Didn’t they know she was retired and on a fixed income? She had been working part-time at a local dress shop. But when so many people started losing their homes to foreclosure, the business at the dress shop dried up. Guess people didn’t care about looking good when they were living out of their cars.
The next call was from nosey old Sister Ellen at the church she had been attending. “Hey, Sister Mattie, I was just checking on you. We haven’t seen you at church in a few Sundays and the Senior Saints missed you at our outing last weekend. I’d sure like to hear from you. Well, I’ll be praying for your strength in the Lord.”
“Pray on, Sister Ellen, pray on,” Mattie said as she deleted the call. She was sick of attending church and making nice with all them hypocrites. The only reason she joined that church in the first place was because Cassandra wanted to be in a house of worship while she and JT were separated. Once she went back home to him, she started attending his little broke down church.
When the next message played, Mattie had to sit down and take it in. Maybe there was a God and He was finally giving her a reason to keep on living. Diane Benson’s voice boomed through her answering machine. “Miss Mattie, I know you don’t like me. But you need to know that what happened with me and JT is over and done with. I just want my daughter back and I was hoping that you might be willing to help me.” Diane left her telephone number and then said, “I
have a plan, but I’m going to need your help to make it work.”
A smile crept across Mattie’s face. She would walk a mile on nails, swim from Cleveland to Timbuktu if it meant getting Lily out of Cassandra’s house. Yes, she would help Diane with whatever plan she had concocted. Cassandra would be mad at first, but she would come to understand that she shouldn’t be raising some other woman’s child. She had plenty enough on her hands raising them two boys and that good-for-nothing husband of hers.
Eleven
JT was angry when Cassandra hung up the phone in his face. That had clenched it for him. He knew from experience how to evade and avoid questions and that was what Cassandra was doing now. If she wasn’t guilty and didn’t have anything to hide, she wouldn’t have been avoiding him all week.
Facing the facts, he told himself that his wife was cheating on him. It wasn’t in his wife’s nature to be with more than one man at a time. That was one of the reasons he’d married her. After catching his first wife in bed with another man, JT had wanted a woman who would be true to him. For eight years, Cassandra had been that woman. Why would she throw what they had away after everything they had already been through?
Cassandra wasn’t having panic attacks when he touched her because she couldn’t stop thinking about JT’s unfaithful past. She was having those attacks because she didn’t want to be touched by anyone but her new lover. Now he knew the god awful truth and it hurt even more than when his first wife had betrayed him.
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