The man lead her to a magnificent room, with purple drapes, sky blue ceiling and a floor that was so cushiony it felt as if she were walking on clouds. Beautiful music was playing throughout the room, but it was unlike any music she’d ever heard or could adequately describe. A golden throne was placed in the far corner of the room. She was instructed to kneel down before the throne.
As she knelt down Cassandra felt as if this overwhelming and consuming presence had stepped into the room. Then she heard a sound and saw multi colored lights flicker around the room. She looked toward the man standing next to her.
He pointed to the throne and said, “Talk to Him.”
Her gaze followed his pointer finger to the throne. A man sat there. He was dressed in a white robe, but she could see through the man that was seated on the throne. She turned back to her escort and asked, “Is this some type of trick lighting?”
“Do you want an audience with God or not? Either speak now or continue to carry your burdens on your own.”
She thought about getting up and walking out of the room. This man was rude and she was tired of taking his attitude. But then she realized that he was right. If she left, she’d be leaving with the same burdens she came in with, and she was really tired of carrying them around. So she turned back to the throne and said, “I’m really not sure how to begin. I’ve always been taught that you have to begin with praise and then go into your request. But do I praise You when we’re in the same room?”
No response.
She got the same non-responsiveness from God when she prayed at home, so why was she here if it wasn’t going to be any different? But she trudged on anyway. “I’m just going to talk to You. I believe that You care about the things that bother me, but I can’t understand why You even allow them in the first place. Like the whole lawsuit from Diane Benson. Why would you allow something like that when JT and I had finally learned to trust one another again?”
She stopped talking for a minute as the word trust hung in the air between her and God. She remembered praying to the Lord and hearing the word trust. At that time she thought the Lord was trying to get her to trust JT, but had she misunderstood? Yes, she realized, she had totally misunderstood what God tried to tell her that day. She bowed her head as tears sprung to her eyes. “Oh God, forgive me,” she cried out as she finally admitted to herself that it had never been as simple as her having a lack of trust in JT. Her panic attacks had not been caused because she feared what JT would do or that she feared losing her children. She’d tried to take that hundred thousand dollars out of their bank account to bribe Diane for one simple reason; she didn’t trust God with her life.
In the face of her mistrust of God, she wanted to defend herself by telling God all that had happened to her in recent years. Who wouldn’t have a little mistrust? But deep down she knew that nothing man had done to her should have ever stripped her faith away from God. She had allowed this to occur. And she couldn’t blame it on anyone else. JT had asked her to trust God countless times during this ordeal, but she hadn’t really heard him. “I want to trust You again, Lord. But if I put my trust in You and things don’t turn out right, then what?”
Trust Me anyway.
She heard God’s answer loud and clear this time, and she wanted… no, needed to comply. Life had been too hard when she tried to handle things on her own. “Okay, Lord, help me to trust You and I’ll do just that for the rest of my life.”
She wiped the tears from her face, stood up and then turned to thank the man who had brought her into this room. But he was no longer beside her. She turned back to the throne and God had disappeared also. What was going on in here? She hurried out of the church only stopping to put her pumps back on. As she walked out of the building a man in white overalls was taking down the sign that asked, “Is it time for your meeting with God?”
Cassandra ran over to the man and asked him, “Why are you taking that sign down? You all need to keep this going. There are so many other people out there that need to meet with God.”
The man looked confused until he read the sign that was in his hand. He turned to Cassandra and said, “I’m sorry, ma’am. The company sent us the wrong sign. It was suppose to be about our annual church meeting. I have to send this one back.”
***
JT knocked on the basement door. Lamont opened the door and looked around. “Has she calmed down yet?”
“I don’t know if she’s calm. But she’s gone for a drive.”
“She didn’t leave you, did she?”
JT shook his head. Lamont was just too inquisitive. “Boy, mind your own business and get out of my way so I can get my kids.”
They walked down the stairs and JT saw that Aaron and Lily were both asleep on the couch. “How long have they been asleep?”
“Pretty much since I brought them down here. I think they were a bit worn out from all the pulling and tugging you and Cassandra were doing with them.”
“I’m just glad Jerome hasn’t been with her. He’s still sleep in his room despite all the commotion.” JT sat down in the chair across from the couch and put his head in his hands. He ran his hand through his hair. “I just don’t know what got into her.”
“I know,” Lamont said as he sat down on the arm of the couch. “She didn’t want you to give me that money.”
When JT didn’t respond, Lamont asked, “Why’d you give it to me if you knew she was going to go off the deep end like that?”
“It’s your money, Lamont. What else was I suppose to do with it?”
“My dad told me that you kept his money away from him for years and by the time he caught up with you – all the money had been spent. I know you sold your house and car so that you could repay the money. But why didn’t you just keep it? You didn’t have to come looking for me.”
“I had lost my way with God when I took your father’s money. And even though it was money we shouldn’t have had in the first place, I had no right to take what didn’t belong to me.”
“But you could have kept it and nobody would have done anything about it.”
“God knew that I owed you. That’s who I’m trying to please. I just hate that pleasing God sometimes means that Cassandra will be unhappy. But that’s life,” JT said as he stood up and nodded in the direction of his children. “Can you help me take them to their beds?”
JT picked Aaron up while Lamont picked Lily up. They walked up the stairs and put them in their beds. Then JT went to the kitchen and started taking pots and pans out of the cabinet.
“What are you doing?” Lamont asked.
“I’m not sure how long Cassandra will be gone, so I’m going to put something on for dinner so she doesn’t have to worry about doing it when she gets home.”
Lamont laughed. “You whipped.”
“No, I’m married,” JT said as he took a pack of hamburger out of the fridge. “And I want to stay that way.”
Lamont sat down at the kitchen table. He had a somber expression on his face as he said, “Look, JT, if you want the money back just say so. I can’t miss what I never had.”
JT opened the cabinet and took down a box of spaghetti and then started putting water in a pot. As he sat the pot of water on the stove and turned it on he turned back to Lamont. “Do you suppose that God would tell me to give that money to you, just so I could ask for it back?”
Lamont put his elbow on the table, his hand under his chin and leaned on the table as he pondered the question for a moment. He then said, “I don’t suppose so.”
“Then I don’t want your money back.”
Lamont played like he was wiping the sweat from his brow. “Good. Because that Escalade was calling my name.”
JT threw the oven mitt at Lamont. “That Escalade is too expensive for you, boy. You need to be able to pay your bills while you’re in school, or are you even thinking that far ahead?”
“Put your spaghetti in the pot - I got this. I know what I’m doing. Me and my lady are going to l
ook good riding down the street in something like that.”
JT opened the box of spaghetti, broke the noodles in half and threw them in the boiling water. He opened the pack of hamburger, put it in the skillet and started pulling it apart with a fork. “Okay, you think you know what you’re doing. But do one thing for me, pray and ask God which car He thinks you should have at this point in your life.”
Before Lamont could respond, the front door opened and Cassandra walked in. She peeked around the corner, saw Lamont sitting at the table and headed for the kitchen.
Lamont stood up. He looked like he’d just been caught swiping the last cookie or something. “I’m going to head on back downstairs. I’ll talk to you later, JT.”
“Wait, don’t leave,” Cassandra said as she entered the kitchen.
Lamont waved her off as he backed away from the table. “I’m just trying to stay out the way. I’ll be looking for my own place as soon as I get some wheels.”
She put her hand on the chair Lamont had just exited. “Please, sit back down. I owe you an apology.”
JT was standing at the stove. He had a spatula in his hand, turning over the hamburger. He recognized the change in his wife the moment she walked into the kitchen. He didn’t know where she went when she left the house, but he knew one thing for sure, Cassandra had been with God… and she’d found peace.
As Lamont sat back down, Cassandra turned to him with a smile of appreciation. “You’re cooking.”
“Somebody had to feed this family,” he joked as he lightheartedly picked the dish rag out of the sink and threw it at her. When she caught it, he said, “You’ve got dishes.”
“Gladly,” she said with just as big a smile on her face as JT wore on his.
Not able to stand it any longer, JT walked over to his wife and hugged her. She felt good in his arms. He was so glad he had made it home before she took the kids and left. “I’m glad you came back so soon.”
“I am too,” she said, returning the hug. “But I owe you guys an apology and I need to handle that right now.” Cassandra sat down.
JT quickly went back over to the stove, poured the spaghetti in a strainer and turned the fire off under the spaghetti pot and hamburger pot. He sat down next to his wife and held her hand.
Cassandra looked directly at Lamont and began, “I went to the bank this morning to take a hundred thousand out of our account. I was going to give it to Lily’s mom so she’d drop this case against JT and agree to not try and take Lily away from us.
“Earlier today I wanted to leave JT. I felt like he was ruining all of our lives by not giving that money to Diane. But when I left here without my children, I was just driving aimlessly. Then I went to this church and had a meeting with God.”
“You had what?” Lamont asked with a raised brow.
“Yeah.” Cassandra smiled, as she continued, “The church had a special room set up with a throne and everything. But when I left the church, I found out that the sign had been a mistake, so I’m still trying to figure that one out.
“Anyway, once I had my meeting with God, I realized that fear had become a stronghold in my life because I stopped trusting God. But I am claiming the victory today. And I want both of you to know that I am so sorry for the way I acted.”
Squeezing his wife’s hand, JT asked, “So, are you with me on this now, Sanni?”
She poked JT in the side as she lightheartedly said, “You have frustrated me throughout this whole ordeal. So I’ve decided to be with God on this one.”
“That’s good enough for me, baby,” JT said with a smile. “If you’re with God, then you’re definitely with me also.”
Twenty-Eight
Judge Landon took his seat. The bailiff instructed everyone to be seated, and as Cassandra took her seat behind JT, she determined that no matter what happened today, she would not freak out. It had been a month since she’d had her personal meeting with God, and Cassandra had prayed ever since that day for the strength to get through these court proceedings without having a panic attack.
JT turned to her and asked, “Are you sure you want to sit in here today?”
A couple weeks ago they had found out that although Margie had withdrawn her name from the lawsuit, she had been subpoenaed. So, JT was worried that Cassandra was going to spaz out when she heard Margie’s testimony. But it wasn’t Margie’s words that sent Cassandra reeling, it was Bishop Turner’s.
Margie stepped down from the witness chair looking like this was the last place she wanted to be. Cassandra understood her; this was the last place she wanted to be also. She hoped with all that was in her that no more women would decide to sue her husband. She’d have to kill him if they did.
As Margie walked passed her, Cassandra noted the brokenness of the woman and knew that JT was responsible for her current condition. She wanted to put her arm around the woman and comfort her. But how does one comfort the ex-lover of their husband? Margie stopped. Cassandra tensed as she watched Margie turn in her direction. Please God, don’t let her say something foul to me. I was having sympathy for her. So I really don’t want to beat her down in this courthouse.
Margie looked at Cassandra and whispered through teary eyes, “I’m sorry.”
Unable to speak because of the knot forming in her throat, Cassandra simply nodded. Before she could recover from the emotions she felt at accepting Margie’s apology, Bishop Turner was called to the stand. Cassandra rolled her eyes, preparing herself for the lies that were sure to come out of her secret father’s mouth.
“Do you swear to tell the whole truth…” the bailiff said his normal lines as each new witness was put on the stand.
Bishop promised to tell the truth and Cassandra scoffed. “He wouldn’t know the truth if it fell on his head,” Cassandra whispered in JT’s ear.
Luke stood to begin his examination. He looked over some papers on his table, winked at Diane and then turned toward Bishop. “Now, Bishop Turner, if my records are correct, you’ve been the overseer of Faith Outreach and about nine other churches for about thirty-seven years. Is that correct?”
“Yes, I was a pastor for five years. Then when my father passed away, I took over his responsibilities as bishop.”
“In your thirty-seven years as bishop of numerous churches, I’m sure you’ve dealt with a lot of issues.”
Bishop seemed to squirm in his seat as he adjusted his tie. “It’s part of the job.”
Luke smiled as if he was having a conversation with an old friend. “Is it part of the job to clean up after these pastors who can’t seem to keep their pants up?”
Bishop coughed and sputtered as if he’d just swallowed something that went down the wrong way.
“I’m sorry, Bishop. Do you need a drink of water?” Luke asked as he walked over to his table and poured water from the ice cold pitcher on his table into a glass. He walked back over to Bishop Turner and handed it to him.
Bishop Turner drank the water as if he had just been rescued from a desert island and was dying of thirst.
“Now, can you answer the question for me, sir? How many pastors within your fellowship have had affairs with members of their congregation?”
With a look of indignation, Bishop asked, “How am I supposed to know that?”
Luke took the glass out of Bishop Turner’s hand and put it on the defense table. He then walked back to Bishop and said, “Isn’t it your job to know what’s going on with the pastors in your fellowship?” Without waiting for an answer he said, “Okay then, let me rephrase the question. Are you aware of any incidents within your fellowship of churches where a pastor was caught having an affair with a member of his church?”
“There have been a few,” Bishop admitted.
“And of these few, how many times have you had this issue with Pastor Thomas?”
Bishop was non-responsive as he sat in his seat staring down at his shoes.
Luke turned to Judge Landon. “Will you please instruct the witness to answer the question?
”
Judge Landon swiveled in his chair so that he faced Bishop Turner and said, “Answer the question.”
Bishop lifted his head. He turned toward JT and held his gaze for a moment. His eyes filled with sympathy and compassion.
JT nodded as if to say, It’s okay, answer the question.
Bishop turned from JT and admitted, “Three times.”
“Three times!” Luke said the words as if he’d just heard a shocking development. He then turned around to face the onlookers in the courtroom and said again, “Three times!” He strutted around, shaking his head in disgust, then turned back to Bishop and asked, “Would you say that is a bit excessive for a man of God to be caught in three separate affairs?”
“Yes,” Bishop mumbled, the words barely audible.
Luke put his hand to his ear. “What? I didn’t hear your response.”
“I said, ‘Yes’.” Bishop was louder this time.
“And your job is to protect these pastors when they get caught in indiscretions, right?”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“Then what would you say? Because you sure didn’t protect Margie, or Vivian Sampson, or my client.” He turned and pointed at Diane. She clung to Joe as if she had been so traumatized by all of this, that she couldn’t even hold herself upright without help.
“In fact Bishop, when Margie told you what was going on, you told her it was best that she transfer her membership to another church, didn’t you?”
“T-that’s n-not true. I tried to help Margie. I thought it would be best if she went to another church, so that she didn’t have to continue seeing JT. But it wasn’t how you’re trying to make it seem.”
“Really?” Luke said with an I-got-you-now expression on his face. “Well then, when Diane Benson called and told you that she’d just had a baby by Pastor Thomas, can you tell the court just how you helped her?”
Bishop found something else of interest on his shoes.
“Answer the question please,” Judge Landon interjected.
Forgiven Page 18
