As soon as the door opens, Tripp storms inside with Tank not far behind. He has been waiting to have a piece of me for my disrespect earlier. So much for not scaring her more. I am two seconds from beating my cousin, who happens to be my club Prez, to a pulp.
“Disrespectful, asshole. What the fuck got into you today?”
“Tread lightly, Tripp. This is the only warning I’m gonna give you.” I ball up my fists, ready to battle.
“Warning me? You wouldn’t fuckin’ challenge me with this shit right now, would you? There is a job tomorrow. Not only did you hang up on me like a pussy mother fucker, but you ignored my calls after that. What the hell was so important?”
“Gettin’ my dick sucked,” I reply arrogantly.
Tripp grabs me by my cut and shoves me, making me take two steps back to maintain my balance and to keep from decking him.
“Transport leaves at five tomorrow morning. You’ll be going—”
I throw my hand up to cut him off.
“I’m not going anywhere. Fire me, punish me, take my VP patch, but I’m not fuckin’ leavin’.”
“What has gotten into you? I need you on this run. I trust you. What the fuck, Rex?” He shakes me by my cut
My eyes move to Lux who is chatting with Doll and Sass. “If it was Doll?”
He releases me.
“She’s got some fucker following her, after her boss, who was giving her hell for months, turns up dead, and the last person to see him alive was her. You really think my mind could be on a run right now?”
“There was a time, not so long ago, when it wouldn’t have mattered. She wouldn’t have mattered.”
“People can’t change? She’s it, man. I know I’m a mess. I know I hurt Tessie more than words can say. I know I failed her. I failed my son. And other people have paid the price for my irresponsibility and selfishness. Lux, though, I can’t fail her. I gotta be here. I gotta take care of her. If it was Doll, would you leave?”
“Fuck no, he wouldn’t leave,” Tank adds, staring down Tripp. “Don’t ask more of your brother than you’re willin’ to do yourself. No way you’d leave your woman, nor would I leave mine.”
“Point taken. I’ll work it out.” He studies me before running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Fuck, Rex, next time talk to me, dammit.”
“Yes, sir.”
He shoves me again. “Fuck you.”
We both laugh, and just like every other time we have fought before, it is all behind us instantly, leaving us to move forward together.
“You really fuckin’ claimed her?”
“Sure did.” I can’t stop the smile that comes naturally as I completely own claiming Lux as my woman.
“Does she know what that means?” Tripp asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
“Nope, but she’s learning.”
“I’m sure you’ll be happy to teach her the finer points of her place in the bedroom.”
“Damn straight,” I state as my eyes find her staring at me, a blush creeping up across her cheeks as she looks at me softly. “Tripp, I’ve never felt this before. This is everything Pops ever told us about and then some.” I rub my hand across my chest involuntarily, as if merely thinking of her is thinking of my heart.
“Had that once myself. Hold tight to it, boys,” Roundman joins our conversation. “The ride can come up short. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Take it from experience, there is no stronger feeling than the confidence in knowing you have a woman waiting who knows you better than your brothers. A woman who is strong enough to handle the life we choose to live and be along for the ride isn’t easy to find, either. So, when you find her, you hold that shit tight. Don’t take it for granted, don’t lose it, and damn sure don’t waste one second of it.”
Looking at Lux, I don’t want to waste one second. I don’t want to lose what we are building. I don’t take for granted that I am one lucky son of a bitch to have her accept my world, either.
Chapter Fourteen
Balance
~Caroline~
Nothing is clear anymore, but I don’t want to waste another day living in the shadows of my past. My secret is out. I am far from the innocent girl they thought I was.
I watch as Tripp and Rex have what is an obvious disagreement of some sort.
“Let it be, Caroline. Know your place. That’s club business, and the boys will handle it,” Doll chimes in as she watches me staring at Rex.
“Once they sort out whose dick is bigger for the day, it will settle. Consider it a ball check. They gotta reach down and make sure they’re still there every once and a while. Testosterone fueled power play. Give it a few minutes, and all will be back to usual, as if nothing ever happened between them,” Sass adds, trying to calm me down.
We stand in idle chit-chat as the guys finish their discussion. Finally, everyone leaves me with Rex, alone in my apartment. On one hand, I miss the distraction of everyone around. I don’t have to process the weight of the day if there are people around to distract me. Here in my personal space with a man who has stepped up to claim me, I can’t escape my past, and I can’t deny that my future may be completely different from everything I ever thought it would become.
“I can’t believe I’m gonna say this,” Rex speaks, pulling me out of my musings. “We should ummm … talk. Yeah, we need to talk.” He shifts uncomfortably before moving from my kitchen back over to my couch.
I sit down and watch him as he twiddles his thumbs in nervous energy. Does he think less of me after knowing my past? I have misled him. I am not who he thought I was. I have misled everyone.
I grew up ‘behind the gates,’ so to speak. Yes, I lived in an upper-class, gated community. If you dress the part, no one would ever think you were hired help. However, I am the dressed-up, dollar store doll. I am the imitation.
“Lux, you gotta know, I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing. I don’t know how to do relationships at all. If I’m honest with myself, I don’t really know how to do friendships outside of my club. What I know is family. What I know is having my brothers’ backs. Everything going on around you is beyond anything I’ve dealt with before.”
“Rex, you don’t have to be my saint. You don’t have to ride in and save the day. I’m not sure who is following me or why, but they haven’t tried to hurt me yet. I’m okay. You’re off the hook,” I try to let him out of his personal sense of obligation to me. “I’ve survived this long on my own; I’ll make it through whatever all this is, as well. Go out, find a barfly, do what you do, Rex. Seriously, go on.”
“Is that what you want? Really? Take all the bullshit away … take the danger, the questions, take everything away, but me and you. Do you really want me to go find a barfly and move on?”
“Yes,” I say, looking at the blank screen of my television.
“Look me in the eye, Caroline, and tell me you feel nothing and want nothing from me. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want my tongue on your pussy again. Tell me you don’t want me balls deep inside you so hard and fast that you can’t think past the stars swirling in your mind. Go ahead, Lux, tell me there is nothing more here,” he challenges while watching me without backing down.
I still don’t look him in the eyes. I can’t. There is an untamed emotion that dances in the layers of blue and speckles of green. The depths of his pupils are deep and dark with a seriousness one wouldn’t think Drexel Crews would have inside him, yet he does.
However, in order to keep myself from falling too deeply for the man behind the cut, I have to get him to move on. There is far too much behind those eyes. I could easily fall for him, and he could and would break me.
“Rex, you have this guilt about Tessie, and you want to fix my problems to ease your guilt. But, I don’t wanna be the rebound girl you save and try to give something to because you should have given all that to Tessie. She forgives you. She wouldn’t want you around Axel if she didn’t. Besides, you told me she is happy with Shooter. You don’t have to be
the husband to the next woman needing to be rescued. We can be friends, Rex. What’s wrong with that?”
“Lux, I know a lot has been thrown at you today. About me claiming you, I need you to know I wasn’t forced. It wasn’t out of some misconstrued obligation. I claimed you because you are mine. You are the one woman I can’t get off my mind. I think about you when I’m not near you. I crave you when you’re merely inches away. You turn my world upside down. Only, when it comes to you, it feels right side up. It’s like you are what makes my life balanced and complete. I know you don’t feel the same way. I know you want more out of life than being tied to a biker and his club. I just needed you to know I didn’t claim you because I’m atoning for shit with Tessie. Bottom line, I can never make up for those mistakes, but in the end, fate had her way, and all is as it should be. Tessie is where she belongs.”
His honesty rocks me. In his world of chaos and crazy, he finds balance with me. That is simply one more thing to process in a day of overwhelming information.
“Rex, I don’t know what I think about anything anymore. I didn’t know the Hellions were taking care of me and handling Alvin Higgins. There is so much I simply didn’t know. Now that I do, my view of my entire life is different. I need to process all of this new information long before I can process you ‘claiming me’ or being tied to a biker. As for the club, I’m pretty sure Roundman was clear in letting me know I’ve been tied to the club for years now, whether I was ready to admit it or not.”
“One day at a time, Lux. We take everything one day at a time. No pressure, no expectations—well, from each other when it’s just us. In front of the club, you have expectations.” He sighs and runs his hands through his long hair. “I’m sorry about that. I know it’s hard for an outsider to understand. I’m a VP, and if I can’t control my shit at home, I can’t lead a club, so your respect in front of my brothers is critical.”
I laugh unintentionally, but I can’t hold it in. “Rex, I’m not one to make a scene. Stop worrying.”
Grabbing my wrist and pulling me over to him with ease, he lifts me onto his lap where I straddle him as if it is the most natural thing in my life.
“Correct me if I’m wrong here, sweetheart. Did you not slap me today?” He rubs his hands up and down my thighs, lighting my body on fire with his simple touch.
I gasp. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me.”
“Lux, not many people could handle what you are going through, so you get a pass this one time. But, you gotta learn and learn quick that if you raise your hand to a man, not all of us are strong enough to take it and let it go. If you raise your hand to a man, you best be ready to take what you give back like a man. I live by a code, though. I’ll never put a hand on you unless you ask me to.”
I look at him in surprise as his eyes dance in challenge.
“Trust me, you’ll beg me to smack that ass.” He runs his hands up my legs and around to massage the globes of my derriere. “Warm the skin up and then bring my hand down, skin on skin. The blood vessels will come to the surface and pinken your beautiful ass. Your body will become sensitive to every touch, and you will beg for more. Fingers, face, and cock, I will fuck you every way imaginable, and you will continue to ask for more.”
Just as I am ready to rock against him, he looks at me and winks.
“You ever slap me again, I’ll make sure to punish you. It will be a pleasure mixed with pain that will be an ecstasy you can only dream about.”
“That doesn’t sound like much incentive to keep me from slapping you again.” I bite my bottom lip, wanting him to give me all the pain and pleasure he can possibly give out.
“Oh, but you see, I will delay every orgasm until you are on the brink of insanity so you think twice about where you put your hands again.” His hands move back to rubbing my thighs. This feels oddly natural, as if we are long time lovers.
“Hmmm,” is all I can manage as I am getting more turned on by the second.
Surprisingly, Rex is in no hurry to end our conversation, though.
“When I go on a transport, I can’t tell you where I’m going or what I’m doing. Doll can’t tell you, either, so don’t even try to ask. If there is an emergency, we will have people to help you, and I’ll get home as fast as I can. In my world, business is business, and my personal life is personal. What we share stays between us. If you are mad as hell at me—and you will be at times—you save all that shit for home.”
“Home?” I ask, trying to understand what he is telling me.
“Lux, you’re not safe alone right now. Home is where you are … for now … or for as long as you want me here. I’m gonna piss you off. I’m a man, it’s what we do.” His hands run up to my upper thigh, stopping at the crease of my hips, his thumbs teasing the inside of my legs, barely brushing my covered mound. “I’m also gonna make it up to you, ‘cause I’m a man, and that’s what we do.” He winks.
With so much going on around me, how can I possibly want to have sex? Any other guy wouldn’t spark an ounce of desire. Yet, with Rex, my body burns for so much more.
I lick my lips in want as Rex brings his thumb up to trace my jaw.
“None of this will be easy, Lux. Just know that I will share with you what I can, but it won’t always be what you want to hear. The stuff going on around you, Roundman and the club will handle it, but I can’t talk to you about club business, even when that club business is you.”
“Geez, Rex, I get it. I’m not stupid. You’ll tell me what you choose to tell me, and I’m to sit down, shut up, and take the crumbs you feed me with a smile. Got it, damn.” I have a little more attitude in my tone than I intended, but I get his point, so why must he continue to go over this again and again?
As a woman, my place is not in his business, but on his arm. Guess what? It is like that in the corporate world at times, too. Those CEO wives don’t know what goes on in the board room, but they attend every charity function and can easily spout off every achievement their men have made with the ease of a puppet on a string. The Hellions world may be different from the business world I am engulfed in, but in some situations, a woman’s role is much the same.
He stops moving his hands, his grip on my thighs firm. “You’re missin’ it. No, you aren’t gonna sit down, shut up, and take the crumbs I feed you unless we’re in the bedroom. And, in there, you’ll take everything I give and love every fuckin’ minute of it. Don’t insult me or my lifestyle. If that’s gonna be your stand on my world, then you can sit on my cock and shut up while I fill you. Pull the stick outta your ass and understand me.
“The things I can’t tell you are for your protection. If I go down, I promise you with every part of my being that you won’t go down with me. The shit we do ain’t always pretty, and the shit doesn’t always agree with things congressmen in suits would want done. The boys in blue have a job to do in upholding laws created by a greedy government. We aren’t outlaws like you see on TV or in the papers, though. Nothing the Hellions do is without purpose, and it’s not always about money.”
“Never thought it was. Honestly, Rex, I don’t judge you like you think. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
He smiles at me. “Now we’re gettin’ somewhere. Stop overthinking what you’re ‘supposed to do’ and be you. You aren’t one to make a scene most of the time, but you got a lot of pressure on you right now. Just don’t disrespect me in front of my brothers, and we’re all good. I’ll keep you informed as I can with what we know of your situation, and the Hellions will keep you safe and out of danger until we can sort the shit, okay?”
“What happens after it’s over, and I’m safe again?” I ask before I can stop the words from spilling out of my mouth.
Do I want more with Rex later? Is he capable of giving me more?
“You figure out your life, Lux. After runnin’ from yourself for so long, do you even know what it is to be you? If you’re asking about us … fuck if I know. The one thing I know for sure is
you’re different. You mean something to me, and it’s not because you are the best fuck I’ve ever had, either.”
I don’t know if I want to punch him for being so brass or kiss him so he will give me ‘the best fuck I’ve ever had’ round two. Drexel Crews is certainly one man who knows sex and does it well.
Leaning in, I gently brush my lips to his. He doesn’t move. Bringing my hands up, I undo the man bun he has his hair tied up in and run my fingers through the long locks. Then I lean in and brush my lips to his again. His hands are still on my thighs, but he is unmoving. Boldly, I swipe my tongue over the seam of his lips, but he remains still.
The rejection stings.
Then his hands come off my thighs, and he brings his arms back wide to rest on the back of my couch. His hips come up and drop, sliding me down on his lap without him actually moving me. My core rocks against his jeans, and I can feel him hardening under me. His body wants this, but he is holding back.
Finally, I muster the courage to look into his eyes. He is smiling at me as I let confusion consume me.
“You want it, you take it.”
I tilt my head to the side in silent question as he speaks.
“Lux, I’ve told many a whore to suck my dick. I’ve spent many nights taking women how I want and when I want. Caroline, it’s no joke to me. You are the deluxe woman, the total package. You want it, you got it, but sweetheart, you gotta take it.”
There is so much going on around us. I need this escape. I need to get lost with Rex, even for just a little while. If I have to take it, take it I will.
I grip his head and bring my mouth crashing down on his. My tongue invades his mouth and reaches his tongue ring. I roll my tongue around the metal, relishing in the unique feel, as I rock my hips, grinding myself shameless against him. However, his hands never leave the back of my couch, and I don’t know if it frustrates me that he won’t touch me or if it turns me on.
Innocent Ride Page 13
