When the sun rose, she scrambled some eggs and made a piece of toast for breakfast. She peeled one of the tiny oranges she loved and poured a glass of juice and took breakfast out onto the balcony.
The day was guaranteed to be a scorcher, but that early, it still showed refreshing promise. Humidity hung in the air and she took a few seconds to wipe down her chair. Hesitating before sitting down, she decided to stretch out of her comfort zone. She opened the French doors wide and turned on the entertainment system in the living room. She selected a playlist of Country and Western songs—safe songs—and went back out to the balcony.
No George Strait, Garth Brooks, or Steve Wariner. She’d always adored those entertainers but hearing their music brought Patterson Elder to mind, which always made her cry. She’d cried so much in the last three months and she didn’t want to cry any more.
Florida Georgia Line was a much safer choice. “Hands On You” played softly while she ate her breakfast. A soft breeze teased the ends of her hair as she finished her juice and she sat back and tried to just…be. Evelyn had commented in her loving way that Leah needed to do something to relax. She had vacation time coming to her but she didn’t want to take it. It was never a good time to be away from the store, but not because she didn’t have a reliable team in place. Her assistant store manager and department managers were more than able to do their jobs. She still maintained that it just wasn’t a good time to take off.
Looking at the ends of her hair, Leah realized how much it’d grown in the last three months, so her usual pixie style was now more of a pageboy. One more thing she’d been putting off doing.
The breeze picked up again and movement near the corner of the roof drew her attention. An intricate spiderweb stretched between the gutter and the brickwork. Normally spiderwebs creeped her out, but this one was out of range for walking through or sticking to her and it was currently decorated with a thousand brilliant dewy diamonds. She smiled as it trembled tautly in the breeze, making each row sparkle. Smiles had been few and far between in the last few months, so seldom that the expression felt stiff on her face. That quickly, her mood plummeted. There hadn’t been much to smile about recently, had there?
Her sister was knocked up, living in her own place across town, a little garage apartment that six months before she would’ve turned her nose up at and called a dump. Presley Ann was still working at the store but who knew how long that would last or how reliable she’d be once the baby came. Leah couldn’t even get excited about the prospect of becoming an aunt. She felt certain that at some point, Presley Ann would turn over responsibility of the baby to someone else, likely someone her dad hired.
And her dad. Yeah. She knew he meant well but he tended to micromanage. He’d made good on the promise to send her help but that hadn’t stopped him from showing up daily, under the guise of checking on her. In the beginning, she’d hardly noticed but now it bugged her a little. She’d kept up with the store and hadn’t let it suffer despite how deep in a funk she’d gotten over Patterson’s death.
Shaking her head to banish the depressing thoughts, she gathered her dishes and shut the French doors. A chime from her phone alerted her to an incoming text message, from Evelyn as it turned out.
“Grace Warner gave birth to Grant Jason Warner at eleven o’clock last night. Seven pounds and eight ounces, twenty inches long. Mom is doing fine. They’re at the hospital here. I heard that she went into labor at her sister’s binding ceremony reception.”
Leah sent a brief reply, saying she would stop by the hospital on her way to work. A few minutes later, as the sun began to burn off some of the humidity, she made the short trek into Divine and stopped to get flowers for Grace.
She’d known Grace a long time and she liked seeing how happy her life had turned out. She was obviously content with her men, and now their daughter Rose Marie had a little brother to chase after. Leah had been invited to Grace’s sister Charity’s binding ceremony the evening before but she hadn’t had the energy or the inclination to attend. The idea of being around that many happy vibes had been too painful to consider. Not because she was jealous but because it hurt to be around happy people and not be able to muster a genuine response.
She thought of Presley Ann again as she walked through the hospital toward the labor and delivery department entry. Another situation she simply couldn’t summon any happy thoughts for.
A nurse ascertained her identity before letting her in, along with her little vase filled with yellow roses, and pointed her toward Grace’s room.
She went to Grace’s door and tapped softly.
“Come in,” Grace called.
Leah pushed open the door and was met by cheery sunshine coming through the windows and colorful bouquets festooned with balloons. “I hear there’s a new boy in town.”
“Hi! Come in,” Grace said from her spot on the bed. She was still dressed in a hospital gown but wore a silky blue robe over it as she sat with a blanket-wrapped bundle on her lap. “Come say hello to Grant.”
“How are you feeling?” Leah said as she gave her a gentle hug and put the roses on the tray table.
“Relieved,” Grace replied as she lifted the small arrangement to her nose and sniffed. “I love these. Adam sent me roses this color the day he proposed to me.”
“He did?”
Grace buried her nose in them, blushed a deep pink and sniffled a little. “Yeah. Sorry, I’m hormonal today. Feeling nostalgic.”
Leah attempted to smile, trying to recall how many years Grace had been with the three men she loved. She could just imagine how romantic Adam was with his wife. Whenever Leah saw them together, it was obvious how much the gentle giant adored her.
“That’s okay. You’re entitled. Grant is a beautiful baby.”
“And he’s so cuddly. Here you go.” Grace lifted the baby up and handed him to Leah.
She didn’t want to betray her lack of experience so she cradled him in her arms up close to her shoulder and cooed to him. His little face was rosy and he had a full head of dark brown hair. He looked up at her with serious eyes for long moments and Leah was captivated. “It’s like looking at a miniature version of Ethan.”
“I know,” Grace said softly, emotion in her voice. “Ethan’s mother brought one of his newborn pictures and the resemblance is unmistakable. He’s so proud.”
Leah smiled broadly, imagining Ethan as the proud papa. “I’ll just bet.”
Grace shifted on the bed and said, “I need to use the restroom. Would you mind holding him for just a couple of minutes? I won’t take long.”
“Um, of course not. I’m sure we’ll be fine.” God, please let us be fine!
Grace slowly rose from the bed and walked across the room. Leah counted the seconds while she was gone, praying that the baby would stay calm in her absence. As if he could read her mind, Grant’s little face turned bright red, his little angel mouth puckered up in a trembling frown, preparing to wail, and then he let loose with a howl that nearly made the windows rattle.
“Dear lord,” Leah whispered, shushing the baby as she gently bobbed him up and down, trying to soothe him.
He let out another howl and she could hear Grace in the bathroom. “Sweet mother of pearl, that boy is loud. I’ll be right there.”
“Mama’s comin’, angel.”
Speaking to him seemed to help for the moment, at least until Grant started rooting around for nourishment and Leah chuckled. “Gonna have to wait for Mama for that, sweetie.”
Grant responded with an even louder howl and Grace giggled as she came back in the room. “Okay, okay. Oh boy,” she added as she carefully sat back down on the bed and arranged herself comfortably with several pillows under her left elbow. “I’ll take him. He needs to nurse. Why don’t you have a seat,” she added, pointing at the chair to the left side of the bed.
Leah came around to sit, studiously averting her gaze as Grace reached inside the robe and pulled loose the snaps on her nursing bra and hosp
ital gown.
“Will it bother you if I nurse him while we talk?” she asked as she bared her left breast and pulled the baby, whose mouth was open like a little bird’s, to her like he was a little football. He squawked and latched on, making tiny snorting noises like he was starving. He held a little arm out in the air in a seemingly imperious gesture, as if to say, “Hold up, I’m eating.” His hand and his slim fingers were incredibly tiny as he then clutched at his mother’s breast.
Grace giggled. “Pretty amazing, huh?”
Leah blinked and realized she was staring and nodded with a smile on her face as she sat down.
“I’m relieved that he’s gotten the hang of it so quickly. After he was born, Emma put him on my chest and he started rooting around right from the first. I’m not nearly as nervous this time as I was with Rose Marie.”
“You?” Leah couldn’t imagine Grace nervous about much of anything. Motherhood seemed like second nature to her.
“Oh yeah. I was so afraid of doing it wrong. ‘It’ meaning just about everything having to do with motherhood. This time, I’m a lot more relaxed.” She arranged the blanket around the baby and caressed the dark brown fluff on his head. “Tell me how you are these days.”
Leah shrugged and let out a deep breath. “About the same.”
“Seeing anybody?” Her question was voiced softly as she looked Leah in the eye. Grace wouldn’t pry but Leah knew who she was referring to.
Shaking her head, she tried to hold back the emotions that wanted to surface anytime James and Vincent came to mind. “No. I’m not ready yet. The…loss is still too painful.”
“Do you think it’ll ever stop being painful?”
Leah pondered that and shook her head.
“So the only thing you can do is put time between it and you, I guess. I’m not meddling, I promise, but maybe it would be easier if you were doing that along with James and Vincent. Whenever I see them, they still look so sad. They’re moving on with life of course, but there’s such grief in their eyes. Kind of like…”
“Mine?” Leah asked, sitting up straighter in the chair. This was so not what she wanted to talk about.
The Elder brothers all bore a striking resemblance to one another. The painful truth was that she was avoiding them on purpose. It wasn’t fair to James and Vincent but every time she got a glimpse of either handsome man, it was as if a chord in her heart was being painfully plucked. She knew she was avoiding part of the grieving process but she was doing her best.
Cuddling the baby with her other arm, Grace stretched out a hand to pat Leah’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I promise. It’s just that I hate seeing all three of you miserable.”
Leah couldn’t admit out loud what the problem was, what seeing them and their beautiful green eyes did to her heart. It didn’t seem right to say that about them. The fault was hers, not theirs. Instead, she turned her attention to Grant as Grace finished nursing him on one side and deftly switched him to the other.
Grace settled him on her right side, shifting the pillows to brace her elbow and then sat back again, discreetly adjusting her nursing bra beneath her robe without so much as a glance. There was so much about life Leah still didn’t understand. Things like being a mother suddenly seemed even farther off on the horizon.
Leah experienced an emotion that bordered on envy. She could never be as poised or casual as Grace under such circumstances. She’d be fumbling around and painfully clumsy if the roles were reversed. It was one of the reasons she looked up to Grace a little. But she was also slightly intimidated. Grace made dealing with the chaos and messiness of life look so easy. And Leah was just too awkward. Her comfort zone was enclosed in the walls of Stigall’s and she understood how to handle life within those walls.
“I pray for you.”
“Huh?” Leah said, her eyebrows shooting up. “You do?”
Grace nodded and smiled. “I know nowadays it’s politically incorrect, or some such bullshit, to tell someone that you pray for them, for fear of offending them. I’m willing to take that chance with you. I just wanted you to know I prayed for you, for the hurt to ease, and for you to find whatever and whoever it is that you need to be at peace. I want to see you happy.”
Leah cleared her throat but her voice still came out like a croak. “Thank you.”
Her parents had never been much for attending church but she’d always secretly wished that they’d gone. The smile on her face started out small, at the knowledge that someone cared enough to tell her they prayed for her. She felt special. And Grace sure had a way with words. “I should let you relax. Is there anything you need before I leave?”
“No, but thank you. Jack is supposed to be by in a little while. Thank you for the roses and for holding my little man for me. Are your eardrums still aching?”
Leah giggled. “No, but he sure has a set of pipes on him.” The smiling, the giggling, it all felt a little strange. The fact that it felt strange made her feel even stranger.
After saying good-bye she made her way down the hall. She could see Jack at the end of the corridor, loaded down with a big fluffy brown teddy bear, more flowers with balloons, and what looked like an overnight bag and a cosmetic case slung over his shoulders. He looked ready to bust with happiness, so much that he glowed with it, as he tried to keep everything together and going forward.
Jack noticed her as he hurried down the hall, dressed in jeans, boots, cowboy hat, and denim shirt. “Hey, Leah! How’re you doin’, sweetie?”
He was so heavy laden that she had to laugh as he tried to hug her unsuccessfully. Every time he reached an arm out he nearly dropped something.
“I’m just fine, Jack. I’ll consider myself hugged, how about that? Grace and your adorable son are waiting for you. You look like you’re busting at the seams with happiness.”
His eyes sparkled and she could see the emotion behind his smile. “I’m about as proud as I can be. And did you hear how loud he is?”
“My ears are still ringing.”
“I better get down there. See you later, sweetie!”
Pain twisted viciously in her heart. Maybe if she hadn’t avoided getting together with Patterson, James, and Vincent for the last several years, it might be one of them coming down the hall toting an armful for her and their baby. Imagining herself in a position like that, or what would’ve been necessary to get herself in such a position, made her cheeks hot.
Over the years, several women, including her old boss, Juliana Peterson, and her friend, Teresa Martinez, had gently questioned why she’d never gone for it with the three Elder brothers, telling her it was so obvious they were smitten with her.
She’d come up with numerous reasons. Shyness. Awkwardness. An inferiority complex. Fear of public condemnation. The troublingly high failure rate of relationships with cops…times three. Or most notably, an inability to comprehend how she could ever hope to keep up with three such spectacularly sexy men. They were mostly just pathetic excuses, in the face of the ultimate loss of one of them. She had no excuses good enough to cover that loss, making the heartache she felt for denying the Elders all the worse.
The fierce ache in her chest stayed with her all the way out to the parking lot, until she saw the flashing lights on the street out by the entrance. Her eyes went immediately to the fender of the police car and recognized Vincent’s number, and then saw him as he stood up from his driver’s seat, with paperwork in his hands for the driver he’d pulled over.
As if drawn to her, his gaze found her all the way across the parking lot. Normally, she was as graceful as the next person, ambulating about on two legs with no problem. Those riveting green eyes captured her, and just her luck, she stumbled on her suddenly awkward feet and fell down.
Damned high heels should be outlawed! What was I thinking when I put these on?
Instead of getting right up, she stayed there, looking down at her pale hands on the hot asphalt. Her hands and knees began to sting. But still she stayed
there.
Get up, idiot. A car could come. She groaned as she realized her purse had dumped out on the ground, too. She ignored the sting on her bare knees as she crawled around gathering her belongings, sneering at the lipstick that she’d never used anyway as it slowly rolled across the surface until it finally tipped into a sewer drain.
“Ten bucks down the drain.” She started to laugh and the sound verged on hysteria.
“Doll! Doll! Are you okay?” Vincent rounded the vehicle next to her at a run and crouched down beside her. She kept laughing even as she looked down at her hands and noticed that blood was starting to seep from the scrapes on them. Her knees felt even worse.
His work-roughened hands were gentle as he helped her to her feet. “Here, let me help you. Look at your poor hands. You okay? What’s so funny?”
She finally met his green gaze under his pale straw cowboy hat and the laughter died in her throat. “Nothing. I should’ve been watching where I was going. I thought you were busy with a speeder.”
“Nah,” he replied softly as he helped her over to her car. It shamed her that she was suddenly so shaky and actually needed the help. “It was just a warning for a non-functioning taillight.”
He towered over her and his arm felt like steel around her back as he opened the car door and helped her sit. He made a soft sound of dismay as he squatted down in front of her. “You scraped your knees up pretty good.”
“I have first aid supplies in my office,” she said as she looked down at her raw knees. A shiver raced through her body as he blew gently on one and then the other. The tender gesture from such a big, tough man made her heart flutter.
“You headed to the store now?” he asked as he looked at her with those green eyes and a slight frown. His eyes had a sleepy, alluring quality to them that her mother would’ve referred to as bedroom eyes. She hadn’t known what her mom had meant back then but she sure did now. He wore his facial hair trimmed short and exceedingly neat, just the same as James and Patterson—
Brokenhearted Beauty [Divine Creek Ranch 19] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 2
