Vincent shook his head as he returned from the sink and she saw the determined set of his square jaw. Did he know how sexy he was, with those bedroom eyes and that neatly trimmed beard and cleft chin? A tremor rippled inside her and she couldn’t help the spear of arousal that darted through her lower regions at the purpose in his gaze. She evidently had a thing for very determined men because he certainly looked the part as he strode over to her.
“Not so fast, fluff.” Of the two men, he was the more assertive one and it was showing.
She froze in midstep and the change in her was like zero to sixty. Or rather, sixty to subzero.
“Don’t call me that.” Her voice was barely a whisper and she wasn’t even sure they heard her.
“Don’t call you what? Fluff?” Vincent asked as he came toe-to-toe with her. He caressed her jaw and she couldn’t look away from him as the pain lanced through her chest. The only person to call her that had been Patterson. He’d used it the last time he’d visited her at the store, the day of the accident. Vincent followed the direction she’d looked in earlier, correctly surmising her exit strategy. “You’re not leaving yet. We’ve barely gotten started.”
“Vincent,” James murmured, disapproval in his tone. He crowded in and she was surprised when he cupped her cheeks and his thumbs stroked hot tears from her face. His heart was in his eyes. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep the sob locked tight inside of her. “He doesn’t mean to be pushy, honey. We need to talk to you. This stalemate—the way things are between us right now—we want to get beyond it. The only way to do that is to talk about it.”
“I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?” Vincent asked, his tone sharper than James’s, but the same need and pain was in his eyes as in James’s.
“It hurts so much. Patterson…Patterson called me fluff. You know that. It hurts to hear you say it.”
“It’s just a word, fluff,” Vincent said, his tone slightly softer but no less powerful. “Look at me.”
She couldn’t. The pain was dangerously close to the surface and ripping the scab open tonight was too great a risk. Her heart couldn’t handle that again. It was bad enough that she had nightmares every night. If she went there with them it would take her days to pull herself back together and she didn’t have time for that. The store needed her and she had that trip to take for her father.
Vincent finally tipped her chin so she had no choice in the matter unless she wanted to be childish and shut her eyes. She couldn’t keep him out like that but it still hurt when she looked into his beautiful green eyes.
“You can hardly look at me, can you?” The pain in his voice deepened the ache in her chest. “Why the walls, fluff?”
He kept picking at her like that and she knew it was on purpose but couldn’t completely blame him. He had a right to know why she’d been avoiding them. Could she get it all out without breaking down? Her strength and resolve wobbled and she reached up to grasp James’s forearm for support.
Breathing rapidly, praying she could keep it together yet knowing it was an impossible task, she finally said, “He’s everywhere I look. I have nightmares about him dying every night. I can’t sleep. The only place I seem to function properly is at the store.”
“That explains the longer hours,” James murmured. She hadn’t realized they’d even noticed.
“You call me fluff and it’s like a knife in my heart. Your eyes, your features, your builds, your taste in music, even your voices are so much like his, it’s…killing me.”
“Why, honey?” James asked, his eyes now bloodshot.
“Be—because it’s my fault he’s gone!”
The wall shoring up her emotions fissured and crumbled before finally breaking under the pressure.
* * * *
Vincent crowded Leah close between him and James as she fell apart. He could see the regret in his brother’s eyes but they’d both agreed that pushing her a little might yield better results than letting things go on as they had been. They’d allowed her to avoid them, to give her time to heal. It was obvious she wasn’t healing. He was ready to move forward and she needed to for her own health.
James gathered her lustrous brown hair away from her face and kissed her flushed, damp cheek. “Honey, you were not at fault. It was an accident.”
Her forehead fell to Vincent’s chest and his heart broke for her as each wrenching sob made her body shake between them. Such a caring woman shouldn’t feel so much pain, hold it all in like that.
He’d suspected for a while that she still believed she was at fault for Patterson’s accident. They’d talked about it the day of the funeral, but neither of them had been sure she was really processing what they were saying. The guilt he felt now had more to do with letting this go on as long as it had.
“It is my fault. If I hadn’t agreed to let him get me supper, he wouldn’t have been on that side of town.”
Vincent cupped her jaw in his hands and tilted her face so she looked into his eyes. “Doll, listen. The driver of that truck chose to text while driving. That’s an open-and-shut case. He’s the one facing involuntary manslaughter charges. He’s the one who should be losing sleep at night, not you. Never you.”
James nodded. “Come sit in the living room, Leah. We need to talk this out and there’s no sense in doing it standing in the kitchen.”
“It’s getting late,” Leah said, swiping her cheeks as they directed her to the couch. Vincent could see her desperately trying to put the wall back up but more tears kept sliding down her cheeks.
Making a decision his brother might not fully agree with, Vincent said, “Fluff, it’s not even nine yet. Don’t tuck tail and run now—” James cast him a frown.
She turned to him with devastation in her eyes and shoved ineffectually at his chest. “I said don’t call me that!”
“I think you need to hear it. Patterson would be so pissed off if he could see what’s happening to you. He’d want to kick our asses for letting it continue this long. This guilt you carry around is eating you. You didn’t cost him his life.”
“What’s at the heart of this? Really?” James asked, squeezing her shoulder.
She looked up at James and then turned her watery gaze on him. “I held Patterson—and the two of you—at arm’s length for years. He was being sweet to me, bringing me supper, and I cost him his life. When I talk to you, when I see you, all I can think is that because of me he’s not here. I cost…” She looked off into the distance and sobbed even harder than the day they’d buried Patterson. The only thing worse had been the morning that Patterson died.
James looked worried as Vincent took her in his arms. In their profession, they’d seen their fair share of grief, both real and fake, over the years. Enough to be able to tell the difference. The pain in her eyes made his own chest ache. It didn’t matter what they thought. This was how she felt. They’d only scratched the surface and the catharsis had to come before she’d be able to move on. In that sense, her sobs gave him a little hope, though it hurt to listen to them. He was pushier than his brother but causing a woman pain for any reason went against his nature.
James got up from the couch and returned with her glass of iced tea.
“What happened today at the hospital?” Vincent asked, going with his gut. “When I saw you walking through the parking lot you looked like you’d been sucker punched. I was actually headed your way, even before you fell, to make sure you were all right.
She accepted the glass of tea from James and took a long gulp of it. She cleared her throat and smiled at James when he offered her the box of tissues. “Thank you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose it like that and make you uncomfortable.”
Vincent had to smile at her attempt to evade. He shook his head when she looked at him. “What happened at the hospital?”
She turned to James but he shook his head, too, and raised an eyebrow. “Sorry, honey. You’re not getting away that easily. Tell us what happened at the hospital.�
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Leah frowned but finally said, “I was visiting Grace Warner. You know she had her baby boy last night.”
“Yes. We heard about it from Hank Stinson this morning.”
“His name is Grant and he’s…precious.” She held her hands out in front of her in a representation of the baby’s size. “She looked…so happy. She always looks so happy. And afterward, I was in the hall and I saw Jack, and…” Her gaze was far off and another sob choked her up. “He…” Her voice quavered and she shook her head.
“He—what?” Vincent asked. He knew not to be defensive. Jack was a good guy. Whatever this was it was deeper than her encounter with a friend.
She blotted her eyes and took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “He looked so joyful. There’s no doubt that Grant is Ethan’s biological son. The resemblance is uncanny. And Jack was just over the moon about his son. There he was, loaded down like a pack mule with gifts for the baby, plus bringing Grace her things, and he looked like he was walking on clouds. He was happy. Patterson will never know that…and if I hadn’t been so stubborn, maybe…”
He and James exchanged a look and Vincent said, “Maybe…what?”
Now her cheeks turned pink as she looked from him to James and then back again. “I’m presuming more than I should, I think. It’s not important.”
Vincent’s eyebrows arched high and he put his hand on her thigh to stop her when she tried to rise from the sofa. She plopped back down and her hand came to rest dangerously close to his groin but it was obvious she didn’t realize it in her emotional state. “You’re not leaving us hanging on that note, fluff. Finish what you wanted to say. Now.”
She raised an eyebrow at his more forceful tone but stayed in her seat. The pink grew even darker in her cheeks. “When I saw him in the hallway, for a second, I imagined one of you in his place. If I hadn’t been so stubborn…”
James’s smile was obvious in Vincent’s peripheral vision but he didn’t look away from her, even when she cast her eyes downward, trying to hide her feelings.
“You imagined us in Jack’s place?”
Leah chewed on her lower lip until he was afraid she’d draw blood and he leaned down so he could see into her eyes as she spoke. “Like I said…I was being very presumptuous. Forget I said anything.” She flicked her hazel gaze up to his before averting it again.
She’d been imagining one of them as the father of her baby. Vincent had to clear his throat before he could say anything. “I can just see you, big with our baby growing inside you, fluff. I encountered Grace on several occasions while she was expecting, and I can envision you with that same sparkle in your eyes and glow in your cheeks. Just thinking about it…” She probably didn’t need to know right at that moment that the thought was making him hard. What was happening in his chest cavity was more important.
James drew her attention and said, “Honey, you’re not saying anything that’s a big shocker to us. We’ve wanted you in our lives for a while. Hearing you say that…it makes me want you even more. Would I want for Patterson to be with us? Of course. But I think that his absence shouldn’t stop us, either. You telling us that is more of an encouragement than a presumption.”
She looked from one to the other of them. He had to strain to hear her at first. “I miss him. I miss him so much. I took all his impromptu visits to the store for granted.”
James shook his head. “You’re not that type of girl, Leah. I doubt he ever thought you took his affection for granted. More like you just didn’t know what to do with the three of us. And even he would admit he was a pushy bastard at times. If I was a gal, I might’ve held the three of us at arm’s length, too.”
Leah snorted, the first sign of amusement he’d seen that evening. “So glad you’re not a girl, James. You’d be even more intimidating to me if you were. I’m glad you’re all man.” His body reacted to her softening, sultry tone.
She flicked her eyes downward and when she realized where her hand rested on Vincent’s thigh, she tried to pull it away, but he stopped her.
The tension shifted and she looked back and forth between them. She inhaled three rapid breaths, the residual of her subsiding crying jag, and said, “I don’t sleep well at night.”
“Sleep with us and we’d change that, fluff,” he said, realizing too late that was a thought he probably should’ve kept to himself, but she continued on as if his words hadn’t quite registered.
“I wish I could make the nightmares go away. I’ve been running from the hurt and avoiding dealing with it. The store distracts me from the pain.”
“That’s not healthy,” James said.
“I’m driving to Abilene on Monday. Dad wants me to think about taking over the store he recently bought there. It’s a big opportunity and more responsibility than what I have now.”
Vincent knew that was coming. “You’ll work even harder than you are now, too.”
Leah shrugged.
It was a big opportunity for her and another step up the family business ladder, which he knew was important to her. But he wanted her to know what she’d be giving up if she took the job. The determination in James’s eyes told him he felt the same.
Vincent shifted so that he was down on one knee in front of her. “You don’t go into work until midmorning tomorrow, right?” At her nod he continued. “Give us a chance to show you how it could be between us, doll. For our sakes. For your sake. And I might be a bastard for bringing it up, but you know Patterson would want you to stay with us tonight. Let us show you what you’d be missing if you move to Abilene. At least then, if you decide to go, you’ll know what it would’ve been like. Let us have this night with you.”
Eyes wide, Leah looked between them, and then her face clouded again. “But if I do that, it’ll just make it even more painful.”
Vincent took her hand in his. “You think we’re not already in pain at the thought of you leaving?”
James took her other hand in his. “We’ll take good care of you. Let me and Vincent at least attempt to make you want to stay in Divine.”
Because it needed to be said, Vincent spoke up. “We have condoms and everything else we’d need. We’re clean. We’d take care of you if you’ll trust us.”
She waged an internal battle, emotions flitting across her face. Temptation as her cheeks turned pink, and fear in the way she wrung her hands together. After a few moments, she let out a little breath and said, “Use condoms.”
That sounds like a yes.
Chapter Three
Leah wasn’t sure what to do now that she’d finally said yes to them. She shut the door firmly on that ugly little voice that kept murmuring that she should’ve said yes sooner.
Vincent rose from the spot he’d been kneeling and James stood as well. Vincent held out his hand, and with a racing heart, she put her hand in his and let him pull her up from the couch.
James, with his soothing touch, brushed the hair from her shoulder and kissed her cheek. He’d rubbed her shoulder earlier, and even though she’d been completely overwrought, there had been wonderful comfort in his touch. She hadn’t realized how sore and knotted up those muscles had become.
As she walked behind Vincent, she caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror across the room. Looking as bedraggled and unsexy as she did, she couldn’t imagine what continued to draw them to her. It sure wasn’t her looks…or her prowess.
Her earlier fortitude suddenly deserted her. “Guys, um, I don’t know as much about ménages as you probably think I do. And I really did mean it when I said I was tired. I’m not sure I’ll be very good at playing the insatiable sexpot with you tonight.”
James chuckled as he went to the kitchen and shut off the lights. “Well, then it’s a damn good thing we didn’t invite whoever this insatiable sexpot person is over to spend time with us. We wanted you, honey. We want to make you feel good, not wear you out even more. I think you need to just relax and see how things go.”
Vincent said. “If we wanted t
o swing from the chandeliers we’d be dating an acrobat. I’m kind of tired myself, but not so much that I can’t take care of my lady.”
“Same goes for me,” James declared as he stretched his shoulder. “That training exercise today proved I need to get back into better shape.”
Leah looked at him disbelievingly. “You?”
“We had to sprint and then climb rope ladders,” Vincent said, now rubbing his knee. “I guess I’ve gotten a little complacent, too.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel better,” she replied. “Since we’re all whining, my feet hurt.”
“Then I know what to massage first,” James said with a chuckle.
The hallway led to what she assumed was the master suite, based on its size. The hardwood floors were burnished to a coppery red and brown color and one wall was dominated by windows that she assumed looked out over the river below. The lights weren’t on out back so she had no hint of the view.
The very large bed took her by surprise and she suddenly turned to them. “You both sleep in here every night?”
Vincent shook his head. “Not until tonight. We have our own rooms on the other side of the house. This room…this was just our dream for you. Don’t worry, no other woman has ever slept in that bed or on those sheets. This was…hell, I guess it sounds pretty pathetic. Patterson insisted that we should begin as we meant to go on. We decided to do a little bit of remodeling and redecorating after Dad moved out. The bathrooms and kitchen were updated and this bed and buying new furniture for the master bedroom were also part of that project.”
Leah walked to the sleigh bed and caressed the heavy oak footboard. “Patterson picked this out?”
Warmth surrounded her on both sides, and no other answer was needed as she closed her eyes. She could hear Patterson’s chuckle in her mind.
Did it for you, fluff. It’d be better if you were nekkid in it, though.
The chuckle caught in her throat, but at least she didn’t start crying again. “Show me the rest.”
Brokenhearted Beauty [Divine Creek Ranch 19] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 4
