by Cindy Kirk
“You and I are a lot alike, Delphinium. We act as if we don’t care when we do.”
Fin swiped at her cheeks.
“Face your demons, Fin. I have.” Eliza’s voice turned uncharacteristically gentle. “I had to face the fact that Jeremy doesn’t love me. That he loves you.”
Fin turned in her seat to face the woman. “Perhaps after I’m gone he’ll—”
Eliza gave her head a decided shake. “I’m not about to go down that road. That would be just another lie I’d be telling myself. It’s one thing to wish for something that can never be and quite another not to allow yourself to wish at all.”
This was the strangest conversation, Fin thought. If she couldn’t smell the scent of Eliza’s perfume and see her face barely a foot away, she’d think she was dreaming. “I don’t understand.”
“I believe you do. For you, happiness is within reach. Think about what you want, then take that step. Otherwise you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been if you’d just had the guts to try.” Eliza pushed open the car door but remained seated. “The vote is Friday. Will I see you there?”
Fin shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Fair enough.” Eliza stepped from the vehicle but leaned back in, one hand resting on the doorframe. “Mindy’s been asking for you.”
Eliza shut the door and strolled off without a backward glance. Even before she’d disappeared from sight, Fin began to cry.
“I was so happy you called last night. Do you realize how long it’s been since we’ve done this?” Steve moved his line slightly, teasing the fish with the plump worm.
After leaving the hospital, Fin had called her dad from the Sweet Dreams Motel, asking if he’d be interested in a “date” after his last class. “You and I used to do a lot of fishing.”
“We did.” Steve reclined back in the green-and-white woven lawn chair that matched the one he’d brought along for her. “I try to get out here as much as I can. With Max or Jeremy or the twins. Though when Callum and Connor come, we don’t get much fishing done.”
“I’ve been replaced.” Fin wondered how her tone could be so light when her heart was so heavy.
Her father touched her arm, waited until she met his hazel eyes. “No one replaces my Delphinium.”
“You have other children. You don’t need me.”
Fin winced. God, she sounded pathetic.
“Is that why you stopped coming back as often?” His gaze searched hers. “You thought you didn’t matter?”
The softly spoken question surprised her. She realized she’d expected him to argue, to insist he needed her just as much as her siblings. Her palms turned slick on her bamboo pole.
“I believe your sisters are happy with the paths they’ve chosen.” Steve cleared his throat. “That makes me happy.”
Fin nodded, keeping her gaze focused on the smooth water.
“What does happiness look like for you?” Her father’s voice remained conversational. “An important job title? A house at the beach? A husband who is a big-time Hollywood director?”
His tone held no judgment, only curiosity.
“No Hollywood director for me.” Fin lifted her hand and wiggled her bare ring finger. “I broke it off with Xander.”
“I’m glad.” Her father nodded in greeting to an older man and his grandson who passed by with a string of fish. “He wasn’t the right man for you.”
“How can you say that?” A brittle smile formed on her lips. “You barely knew him.”
“All the times you asked, he never came home with you. That told me that you—and what you wanted—weren’t his priority.” Steve lifted a brow.
“You’re right. I wasn’t a priority.”
Once again, they sat in silence for several long moments.
“Are you happy, sweetheart?”
During the past few weeks she’d been happy—and more content—than she’d been in a long time. Instead of answering, she lifted her shoulder in a slight shrug and returned her attention to the water.
“What about Jeremy?”
“He thinks I won’t open up and let myself feel.” She jerked the pole, the sudden movement effectively scaring off any interested fish. “He says he’ll be there for me. I don’t lean. Not on anyone.”
She lifted her chin.
“There isn’t anything wrong with leaning, honey. We all do it at times.” Steve touched his fingers to the side of her face, giving Fin no choice but to look at him. “It’s a sign of trust, a way of receiving strength from each other.”
“I also keep secrets.” Fin swallowed against the lump rising in her throat. “From Jeremy. From you and Mom. From my sisters.”
Steve set down his pole. “What kind of secrets?”
For a second Fin was tempted to give an answer that would satisfy him without saying anything at all. His life was finally on track. He had Lynn and his teaching and his grandchildren. Anita was out of the picture. Her dad didn’t need more drama in his life.
But Fin was tired of the lies. “I was pregnant in high school. I had a miscarriage.”
Clearly stunned, her father’s eyes widened. Then, without a word, he took the pole from her hands and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.
Fin laid her head against the warmth of his shirt and let the words spill out.
“I’m sorry you had to go through such an emotional time alone.” He stroked her hair. “I can’t imagine how hard that was for you.”
She sniffled, wished for a tissue. In answer, he pulled a perfectly folded handkerchief from his shirt pocket and handed it to her.
He continued to stroke her hair with those large, gentle hands while she dabbed her eyes, then blew her nose.
“I must look a mess.”
“You were a brave girl.”
Startled, Fin blinked.
“You thought about everyone’s feelings but your own. You bore all the heartache and pain and fear in silence.” His lips twisted in a wry smile. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
“It doesn’t?”
“You’ve been like that since you were a little girl. Never wanting to add to anyone’s burden.”
Fin gave a hiccupping laugh. “I don’t think that’s how most people would describe me.”
“They don’t really know you.” He took her hands in his. “You’re so like your mother.”
She lifted a hand in protest. “Mom and Ami—”
“—had a lot of common interests. But in terms of personality, it’s you who favors your mother.” Steve shook his head, his lips curving slightly. “Sarah didn’t like to lean, either. It caused some arguments.”
“Really?”
He nodded, his eyes distant with memories. “When you love someone, you want to be there for them. If they don’t tell you when they’re hurting or when they need something, it makes a person—well, in my case it made me feel as if Sarah didn’t trust me. That she didn’t think she could count on me. That I wasn’t strong enough to handle it, whatever it was. Yet your mom thought she was looking out for me.”
Steve met her gaze. “If you think about it, it’s a kind of well-meaning arrogance.”
Fin couldn’t hide her surprise. She couldn’t recall her father ever saying an unkind word about her mother. “But you and Mom had a good marriage and were happy together.”
“We were very happy. In a marriage, there’s a give-and-take.” His eyes turned misty. “There’s growth. Or there should be. A husband and wife learn to work together, to understand and respect each other’s needs. Your mother and I struggled—oh, especially in those early years—but we learned.”
“It’s probably too late for me and Jeremy.”
“It’s never too late if you love each other.” He cupped her cheek with the palm of one large hand. “One of those things your mother and I discovered was that sometimes—actually, most of the time—hurts can be healed if you start off with the two most powerful words in any relationship.”
/> Fin inclined her head. “What words would those be?”
“I’m sorry.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
All the seats in the board chambers were filled by the time Eliza arrived. As there were still fifteen minutes before the meeting would start, she was in no hurry to take her seat on the dais at the front. Turning on her heel, she strode down the corridor and ran into Jeremy locking up his office.
He looked tired, she thought, as he so rarely did.
She kept her tone light. “Ready for the big vote?”
His thoughtful gaze settled on her. “Do you think it’ll come to me breaking another tie?”
“Hard to say. Lynn has been wavering, but she told me this afternoon, unless something drastic is brought up at the meeting, none of the arguments have caused her to change her vote.”
Jeremy swore.
Eliza arched a brow. “Problem?”
“If the board ties and I vote against Xander’s proposition, I’ll be putting Fin out of a job.” He swiped a hand through his hair. “I want her to stay because this is what she wants, because I’m what she wants, not because she has nowhere else to go. It’s probably a moot point anyway. I don’t think she’s ready to invest in a relationship, with me or anyone.”
“You’re wrong.”
His gaze sharpened. “About?”
“She loves you, Jeremy. All you have to do is look at her to see it.” Eliza gave a little laugh. “As far as being ready to invest in relationships, I spoke with Owen yesterday. He told me Fin went to see Mindy in the hospital.”
“Really?” The bald hope in his eyes humbled her.
Would she ever find anyone who would love her that much?
“Don’t stress about the board vote.” She patted his shoulder. “Lynn is only one member. There are three others who will be voting.”
Before he could ask any questions, Eliza hurried down the shiny linoleum hallway, a woman with a mission. If she had to vote for that blasted proposition to spare Jeremy from being put in the middle, she’d do it.
He’d been there for her all those years ago. She’d be there for him now.
The meeting began on time, with three merchants and two citizens lining up to comment.
Eliza blinked when Fin arrived, looking chic—but professional—in a red linen dress and heels. She took her place at the end of the line queued behind the microphone.
“Did you know Fin planned to speak?” Lynn whispered, covering the microphone on the table before them with her hand.
Eliza shook her head, then glanced at Jeremy, who appeared equally startled. She listened to all of the comments with only half an ear, anticipation humming in her blood.
“Delphinium Bloom.” As per protocol, Fin identified herself when she stepped to the microphone.
She was an excellent public speaker, Eliza realized, as Fin gave an impassioned speech about community and all that made Good Hope a wonderful place to live.
“Recently, an early Christmas was held for one of our junior citizens, Mindy Vaughn. Mindy was offered a chance to wish for anything. She could have gone anywhere, done anything, yet she wished to celebrate Christmas in Good Hope. I understand her wish. No place is more special than Good Hope during that time of year when we all come together in a spirit of giving and love.” Fin’s eyes strayed to Jeremy. “If I’ve learned anything in my years away from here, it’s that family and community are what’s important in life. I urge the board to vote against the proposition currently before them. Even if it’s only for one year, it’s a time the citizens of Good Hope will never get back. In this time of global uncertainty and tension, we need more than ever to hold tight to those traditions that bind us—and bring us—together. Thank you.”
The board voted three to one against the proposition. Gladys told Eliza that Fin’s eloquent speech had caused her not only to change her vote but to redouble her efforts to get Fin back on the community theater stage where she belonged.
Eliza smiled when she saw Jeremy stride after Fin once the meeting adjourned.
As it should be, Eliza told herself.
Though most weren’t aware of the fact, she really did like happy endings.
Fin took the long way out of the courthouse to avoid the crowds leaving the boardroom. The hallway that exited out the south door was deserted, the only sound the click of her heels on the shiny linoleum.
By the time the footsteps registered, it was too late. Fin gasped when someone grabbed from behind and spun her around. Ready to fight, she jerked from the man’s grasp. Then she saw his face. “Xander.”
“What the hell was that all about?”
Though she couldn’t recall ever seeing him quite so angry, Fin refused to be cowed. “It was a public forum. I gave my opinion.”
He jabbed a finger at her. “You did it to get back at me.”
“This wasn’t about you, Xander.” Fin kept her tone level.
“I don’t believe you. Let me tell you now, Shirleen isn’t going to keep you on. Not after this stunt.” A muscle in Xander’s jaw jumped. “You’re going to regret this. When you have time to think about all you’ve given up, you’re going to have nothing but regrets.”
Fin knew he believed what he was saying. She also knew he was wrong.
“Hollywood is all about pursuing your dreams, but I’ve spent the past ten years telling myself not to wish, not to dream. All because I feared being hurt. That plan may have kept my heart safe, but it wasn’t living. I want more.” Fin touched his arm. “I don’t regret my time in LA or with you, because those roads led me back to Good Hope. This is where I belong.”
“I heard shouting.” Jeremy moved to stand between her and Xander. “Is everything okay?”
“I had to have been blind.” Xander gave a humorless chuckle. “For her, it’s always been you.”
Xander shook his head, his gaze now on Fin. “I’m done wasting time on this backward town.”
“One second, please,” Fin called out when he turned to go. She stepped around Jeremy and moved to Xander. Pulling the diamond from her bag, she held it up for a second, then dropped the ring into Xander’s suit pocket. She surprised herself—and him—when she brushed a kiss across his cheek. “Have a good life. I wish you much success.”
Xander stared at her for a long moment. “We could have been so good together.”
Jeremy waited until Xander was out of sight before he stepped close, trailing a finger up Fin’s bare arm, leaving gooseflesh in its wake. “Is what he said true?”
Fin swallowed against the dryness in her throat. “He said a lot of things.”
He took a half step forward, eliminating the space between them. Placing two fingers under her chin, Jeremy tipped her head back. “That for you, it’s always been me?”
Her heart stuttered as love swamped her.
No more lies.
No more running.
“Always.” Fin wrapped her arms around his neck and her lips found his. “Forever.”
Epilogue
Sarah Rose Bloom’s first Christmas party, held the afternoon of Christmas Day at her family home, included laughter and conversation and a platter of lavender cookies with rosewater icing. The cookies had been her grandmother’s favorite and were a staple of any Bloom gathering.
“These look amazing.” Fin took a bite and her eyes widened. She whirled, her shocked gaze focusing on Ami. “You found the secret ingredient.”
The cookies, ones Ami and their mother had made countless times for every family occasion, had no written recipe. There hadn’t been a need. Ami and her mother often joked they could make them in their sleep.
Except once Sarah had passed away, try as she might, Ami couldn’t recall the one ingredient that made their recipe special.
“It was the strangest thing.” Ami’s eyes turned soft as she gazed at her daughter, gurgling, in Beck’s arms. “Sarah Rose was with me in the kitchen while I set out the ingredients. I found myself automatically reaching for orange z
est.”
“Circle of life.” Fin got so caught up visiting with Ami that it took a second for her to realize Jeremy was no longer at her side.
“Our engagement was a con,” Fin heard him tell his grandmother when she approached the kitchen. “It was our way of getting you to agree to the surgery.”
From her position in the hall, Fin watched Ruby lift the teapot from the burner. “I wondered when you were going to come clean.”
“You knew?”
“I knew all along you and Delphinium were conning me. Because I was conning you.” Ruby’s voice held a smile. “When I spotted the diamond on her finger I saw a way to get the two of you back together. Quick thinking for an old lady with a bad ticker.”
Jeremy shook his head and laughed.
Leaving them to their mutual confessions, Fin wandered back down the hall to the parlor and convinced her brother-in-law to part with his daughter.
Love stirred as Fin gazed down at the baby with her tuft of dark hair and chubby cheeks. She thought of Ami’s vision . . . or had it been a wish? Regardless, it had come true.
Maybe one day she and Jeremy would have another child . . . Fin found her gaze drawn to the curtains at the large window. Through the lace she saw snow continued to fall.
“I’m dreaming of a White Christmas . . .” Fin sang softly and watched Sarah Rose’s eyes grow wide.
She’d reached the refrain when Jeremy returned from the kitchen with his grandmother. He sat down beside her on the sofa and added his voice to hers. Everyone quickly joined in.
Sarah Rose waved her chubby arms, her eyes as bright as the star at the top of the tree.
When the song concluded, Fin glanced around the room. At her father and Lynn, at Marigold and Cade, at Prim and Max—at the twins playing with little cars by the tree—and at Ami and Beck, gazing proudly at their beautiful Sarah Rose. Then finally at the man who sat beside her, his arm draped around her shoulders.
Whenever his gaze settled on her, the star that sat atop the tree seemed to shine extra bright.
Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight . . .
