by Maggie Cox
‘Come in and shut the door.’
‘I only wanted to leave these letters with you to sign.’ Her expression unsure, she hovered in the doorway, feeling suddenly ridiculously shy around him.
‘Come in anyway. I want to talk.’
Finding herself waved into the comfy leather chair opposite Conall’s desk, Morgen laid her hands in her lap and waited. To put her at ease, Conall decided to start off with a neutral subject.
‘I’ve spoken to Derek at the clinic. I just wanted to let you know that he’s doing fine. He had a few shaky days to start with, but apparently he’s now determined to kick the booze and get back on track with his life.’
‘That’s great news!’ Her pretty green eyes alight with pleasure, Morgen leaned happily towards the big man in the chair opposite. ‘I knew he could do it!’
‘It’s early days yet, sweetheart. He’s got four more weeks at the clinic, then we’ll see—yes?’
‘I don’t doubt for a minute that he can do it.’ More subdued, Morgen leant back in her seat. ‘I know you probably saw him at his worst, but he’s not the hopeless case you might think he is.’
‘I never believed his case was hopeless, but addiction is a disease. Some can beat it; some can’t.’
‘Anyway, it’s the best news. Thanks for telling me.’
Picking up a ballpoint pen from the blotter in front of him, Conall twirled it thoughtfully between his fingers. ‘What would you say if I told you he probably wasn’t coming back here to work?’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m thinking of sending him to the New York office. A change of scene would most likely do him the power of good. New people, new challenges, a new life.’
‘I can see how that might work,’ Morgen agreed. ‘Though I’ll miss him, of course.’
‘You’ll be working for me instead.’ His expression brooding, Conall directed his gaze straight at her. He saw the brief flicker of doubt in her eyes and couldn’t prevent the sudden knot in his stomach. Did the prospect really bother her that much?
‘Because I’m the head of the firm it will be a promotion, of course. More responsibility and more money…how does that sound?’
Under any other circumstances it would have sounded good, Morgen decided. But with her promise to both her mother and Neesha to somehow cut down her working hours so that she could spend more time with her daughter it was really the last thing she needed to hear. Not to mention the fact that she now had a highly personal relationship with Conall that she didn’t feel was particularly conducive to their professional one.
It would only be a matter of time before the whole office found out that something was going on between Derek Holden’s PA and Conall O’Brien. Potentially it could cause a great deal of resentment and make life even more difficult for her.
‘I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this.’
‘What, specifically?’
‘Our working together.’ Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Morgen fiddled with a strand of her hair, then, leaving it alone, glanced directly at Conall. ‘You must see that it wouldn’t work on a permanent basis. Not when we’re—we’re seeing each other socially. Plus there’s the fact that I was going to talk to you about the possibility of cutting down my hours anyway. I need to be there more for Neesha. I’ve been working full-time since she was a baby. She’s growing up so fast, and I’ll never have this time back. I’ve already missed things in her life that I won’t get the opportunity of enjoying again. So, thanks for thinking of me, but I really think, all things considered, that you ought to give the job to someone else.’
Glowering, Conall got to his feet. ‘Nobody else knows the work as well as you! I had that bubble-headed Julie working for me for those few days you were off sick, and she’s an okay PA, but ask the woman to think on her feet and she dissolves into a puddle of girlish incompetence that just brings out the caveman in me!’
To her shock, Morgen burst out laughing. Green eyes brimming with mirth, she clutched her stomach to stop it from hurting. ‘And you don’t act the caveman with me?’
He frowned and sat down again, blue eyes troubled. ‘Are you saying I’m difficult to work with?’
‘No.’ Morgen’s voice was firm. ‘I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying that if you’re serious about us having a personal relationship then I can’t work for you as well. You know it makes sense.’
‘Trust me to find a woman who’s got scruples as well as standards I can’t help but admire.’ He smiled then, and it was like standing in a pool of sunshine after a grey cloud had passed.
‘So you’ll look for someone else to fill the post?’
‘Not until the next few weeks are up—until I see how Derek’s doing. Then I’ll give you my verdict. In the meantime I think we should look at how we can shorten your hours. I can see that it’s important for you to spend more time with Neesha.’
‘Thank you.’ Expelling a long sigh of relief, Morgen got up from her chair to leave.
‘Where are you going?’ Conall demanded.
‘I’ve got work to do.’
He stood up and came round the desk, a glint in his eye that Morgen was beginning to recognise.
‘Not until you kiss me first.’
‘Conall! Someone might walk in—’
He strode to the door, twisted the catch and locked it. A sexy grin making him look exceedingly wicked, he returned to a gaping-mouthed Morgen and grasped her firmly by the arms. ‘Not now, they won’t!’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
IT WAS raining when they came out of the restaurant late on Saturday—not heavily, but a slow driving drizzle that made Morgen’s dark hair look as if it was shrouded in a filmy net. Slipping his hand beneath her elbow, Conall jogged her to the car, opening the passenger door first to let her get comfortable before sliding in next to her in the driver’s seat.
‘You okay?’ His blue eyes flashed concern as she pulled the collar of her coat up more securely round her ears. It was a particularly chilly evening, and as well as the rain the wind was raw.
‘I’m fine. I’ll soon warm up.’
All evening he’d gazed his fill of her, but it never seemed to be quite enough. They’d talked, sometimes skirting round more personal subjects to make polite chit-chat, both knowing there was a conversation of a more meaningful kind going on elsewhere in their minds and in their bodies.
In the flat, Conall had adjusted the lighting to low. The softer light welcomed them in from the cold, creating an atmosphere of warmth and intimacy, sending shivers of delicious anticipation scurrying down Morgen’s spine. It was scary to want him so much, to need him. It had been a long time since she’d allowed herself to need a man, and Simon hadn’t really needed her at all in the way she’d needed him. But Conall was different. They had a connection. It was stupid to deny it any longer.
Back at the restaurant Morgen had hardly been able to do justice to their wonderful meal, because every time their glances had met a small firework display seemed to go off in her stomach, and two glasses of wine had consequently gone straight to her head. Now, as she slipped off her coat and handed it to him, she was alarmed to find that her legs were shaking, as if she’d just got off the Twister at the fairground.
Catching her shiver, Conall hesitated before taking care of her coat. ‘Still cold?’
‘No. It’s lovely and warm in here.’
‘Sit down. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get us both a drink.’
‘No more alcohol, please.’ Her smile was apologetic. ‘More than two glasses of wine and I’ll flake out for the night.’
‘I’m glad you warned me.’ His voice deeply sexy in timbre, he smiled in a way that lowered her resistance to zero and made her forget to breathe. On his way to the kitchen he arranged her coat and his jacket on the back of a large comfy armchair and asked her if she’d prefer coffee instead.
‘Lovely.’ Rubbing her arms in the blue and white silk dress she wore, Morgen dropped down onto the s
ofa and kicked off her shoes. Curling her stockinged toes into the deeply luxurious carpet, she gazed round at the various prints on the pale-coloured walls, peered closer at the family photographs lining the pine mantel, then allowed her gaze to wander over the eclectic objets d’art arranged on shelves and bookcases. Everything was tasteful and beautiful, but obviously said a lot more about Conall’s sister than they did about him.
‘Why don’t you have a place of your own?’
On impulse, her feet took her into the kitchen, where Conall was arranging cups and saucers on a tray, then pouring sugar from a cellophane packet into a little porcelain bowl. He appeared quite at home with the ordinary domestic tasks, and Morgen was equally content just to watch him. That broad back of his was like an artist’s model’s, with the suggestion of muscle rippling gently beneath his shirt every time he moved, and her eyes dipped appreciatively to his taut lean behind and those long, long legs in smart tailored trousers.
‘I was renting an apartment in Chelsea up until I left for New York. To be frank, I never really felt the need to have somewhere permanent. The last few years I’ve been travelling a lot: America, Canada, Australia—what was the point in having a place that would be empty most of the time?’
‘And now that you’ve decided to stay in the UK for a while?’
He stopped what he was doing, turning round to lean against the counter, his electric blue eyes a stunning contrast to the whiteness of his shirt. ‘I’m thinking about buying a house.’
‘Not designing one?’ Morgen knew that if she had the enviable skills Conall possessed she would love to design a house of her own.
‘The thought had crossed my mind.’
Before she had time to think Conall was standing in front of her, running his hands up her bare arms in her silk dress, drowning her senses in his potently virile, not-to-be-ignored maleness. ‘But it depends on whether or not I’ve got somebody special to share it with me.’
‘You’ll find someone.’ Tearing her gaze away from the sensual hunger simmering in his, Morgen focused instead on the little pearlescent buttons on his shirt.
‘I thought I already had.’
‘You might want to think again.’ Her voice low, Morgen dragged her gaze back up to his, her heartbeat faltering and stumbling at the sheer masculine beauty of his face. ‘I’ve got a daughter, remember? This isn’t just about you and me. Have you any idea what it’s like to be responsible for a child? You’re used to being free and single, coming and going as you please. You can’t do that when you have children. Your whole focus is on them, and you never stop worrying about them. That’s what you’d be taking on, Conall, and somehow—’ She broke away from him to stand in the doorway. ‘Somehow I don’t think you’re ready for that.’
Taken by surprise, Conall was momentarily silenced. Children… He’d honestly not dedicated a lot of thought to being a father. Up until now he’d always relegated that possibility to the dim and distant future, convinced that when and if that time ever came he would be mature enough to handle it…unlike his own father.
Having Morgen and Neesha in his life would completely change the way he lived. He’d never even flat-shared before, let alone lived with a woman. There were a lot of new things he would have to get used to, but they weren’t exactly things he dreaded, he found. It might be sort of nice, having two females about the place. And being able to wake up next to the woman of his dreams each morning was an incentive he couldn’t ignore. No. Morgen was wrong about him. He was far more adaptable than she thought. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have decided to transfer back to the UK at the drop of a hat all because he was in love with someone, would he?
In love… The thought swirled over him like a mist, shrouding him in wonder. He felt excited, enthused. His heart stumbling over itself to get a rhythm, he smiled.
In the arsenal of advantages he already possessed, that smile of his was the most explosive weapon of all, Morgen decided.
‘You’re wrong about me, Morgen. I want you and Neesha in my life. I want to take care of you both. I may not know much about taking care of kids, but I’ve always been quick to catch on, and I can learn as I go along, can’t I? I won’t let you down. If you think this is some kind of temporary whim on my part, then you really don’t know me at all. I’ve never fallen for a woman so hard before.’
Urging Morgen away from the door, he captured her face between his hands. ‘What do you say to us getting married?’
If a bomb had ripped through the ceiling just then Morgen couldn’t have been more shocked. Dizzy for a moment, she glanced up into Conall’s smiling blue eyes and lost the power of speech. Marriage? It wasn’t something that she had imagined he would ever consider for one second. When he’d talked of buying a house, and sharing it with her and Neesha, Morgen had assumed he meant her to cohabit with him.
Sliding her hands up to cover his, she gently pulled them away. ‘We’ve only known each other such a short time. We shouldn’t rush into anything we might regret. I know you’re probably thinking of me, but we don’t have to get married in order to be together. I’ll think about moving in with you eventually, but I really need more time.’
It wasn’t the answer Conall wanted to hear. He’d astounded himself with his offer of marriage, and it hadn’t been until the words were out of his mouth that he’d realised it was what he desired above all else. As far as he was concerned he’d found the person he wanted to share the rest of his life with, and he wasn’t about to let her get away.
‘I asked you to marry me because I’m in love with you, Morgen.’
Morgen bit her lip. ‘Simon said he loved me too. Words like that come easy at the beginning of an affair, and you’ve already admitted your track record isn’t good.’
Stunned, Conall cursed harshly beneath his breath and stepped away. ‘So I’m to get no opportunity to redeem myself? It wasn’t as if I hid anything from you about my past. I admitted I’ve never wanted to commit to anyone before, but I deeply resent being compared to your ex-husband. Can’t you see that this is different?’
Morgen wanted to believe him, but she’d lost the ability to trust when Simon had walked out on her. How could she explain to Conall that she’d been absolutely terrified to find herself falling for him? That she couldn’t help drawing comparisons with her relationship with Simon because when he’d walked out on her she’d hardly believed she would recover from such rejection. With his parents’ disdain of her background, Morgen had lost all sense of self-esteem and worth. What if Conall’s family treated her similarly?
‘You saw where I live, Conall. You know I don’t move in the same social circles as you, with monied, professional people. What are your friends going to think when they find out you’ve fallen for an ordinary secretary from South London, and a single mother to boot?’
‘I can’t believe any of this would even bother you! Yes, I’ve seen where you live, and what I saw was a home—not an empty shell fitted out with designer furniture, but a real home. Something I haven’t had since I was a kid. And though it might be true to say that some of my friends inhabit the kind of social circles you hint at, and in the past I’ve been guilty of using my wealth and connections to my advantage, I personally don’t give a damn about any of that stuff any more! I take people as I find them—no matter where they’re from or what they do. I either like them or I don’t, and the ones I don’t like I leave well alone.’
Striding to the counter, he turned on a tap and splashed water into a glass tumbler. Taking a long drink, he turned back to broodingly consider Morgen on the other side of the kitchen.
‘And for your information I don’t give a damn what people think either way. This is you and me we’re talking about. Either you want to be with me or you don’t. When you get right down to it, that’s the only thing that matters.’
Sucking in a deep breath, Morgen released it slowly. ‘I do want to be with you,’ she confessed quietly. ‘Okay. I’ll really think seriously about moving in with
you, but I won’t marry you.’
Meeting her gaze and recognising the hint of steel in the depths of soft green, Conall felt his chest constrict with deep disappointment and hurt. The first woman he’d ever asked to marry him and she’d turned him down. To say it wasn’t a blow to his pride and his manhood would be a huge lie. Returning the glass of water to the counter, he slowly folded his arms across his chest.
‘If you won’t agree to marry me then I won’t ask you to move in with me.’
‘That’s up to you.’ Hot colour shading her cheekbones, and a brief flash of disbelief in her eyes, Morgen turned and walked away.
‘I want you to phone that number and book me on a morning flight to New York tomorrow.’
Staring down at the sheet of paper Conall had slapped down on her desk, Morgen swallowed hard. Saturday hadn’t turned out at all as they’d planned. After telling him she wasn’t going to marry him things had gone steadily downhill. Instead of ending up in bed together, as both had eagerly anticipated, Morgen had found herself asking him to ring her a cab to take her home. Refusing to do any such thing, he’d insisted instead on driving her home himself.
To say the atmosphere between them had deteriorated to a morose silence simply didn’t equate with the harsh reality. When he’d bade her goodbye at her door he hadn’t even hesitated before striding away down the street back to his car. Morgen had let herself into a cold and lonely house, her mind numb, without even the companionship of her little daughter to help ease her heartache.
‘I’ll see to it right away.’
‘I’ll be gone for most of the week. If anything important comes up ring me direct. I’ve left you my home number as well.’
‘Okay.’
Finally she allowed her gaze to lock with his. The anger she saw simmering there, reminding her of hot springs, made her catch her breath. She didn’t want it to be like this between them, but how was she going to make things right? Marriage terrified her. Her divorce from Simon had been messy and acrimonious, and she’d vowed to never repeat the experience. She’d had to fight to get any support at all for her child. The thought of marrying Conall only for their union to end in bitter divorce was her worst nightmare. She couldn’t do it, and she wouldn’t want to make him ever regret knowing her.
