Off Course

by Sawyer Bennett

I was helping to stock beer and looked up at him, trying to wipe any evidence off my face. He was looking at me with a grin, and I couldn't help but let one loose back at him.

  Busted.

  I didn't even bother responding and went back to laying bottles in the cooler.

  "He's a good boy," Keefe said.

  "Man," I amended. "He's a good man."

  Keefe chuckled. "He'll always be a boy to me in some respects. Just like Cady will always be my little girl."

  I pulled my body out of the cooler, as I had to lean halfway in to reach the bottom row. Wiping my hands on my jeans, I tell him, "He told me about his parents...what happened to them."

  Keefe's eyebrows rocketed upward. "Did he now?"

  I nodded. "I'm amazed at how well he's coped with it."

  A sage look came over Keefe's face and he tweaked me under the chin. "He has, Renner, darling. But I'm not sure you ever really get over something like that. You just try to handle it the best way you can. Be respectful of that. I love that boy as if he's my own, but there's still an unsettled quality about him that drives a lot of what he does. Just be aware, okay?"

  I wasn't sure what he was trying to tell me at the time, but the more I thought about it, I think it has everything to do with this insatiable need he has to keep Maeve on the straight and narrow. But him telling me to be respectful of Cillian's past has me more certain than ever I shouldn't stir the pot about Maeve.

  Cady's voice breaks into my thoughts. "So, anyway... like I was saying, I think the best thing we can do is poison her. There are a ton of ways we can play it. I bet we can even get her to come eat at The Hibernian and slip some rat poison in her food."

  "What?" I say, stunned by her words.

  "Aha! I knew you weren't listening to me. You had that faraway look in your eyes. Dreaming about some naked Cillian, were you?"

  "Of course not. I was thinking about your dad."

  Mock disgust overtakes her face and her nose crinkles. "Not naked, I hope."

  "You're a pervert of the extraordinary variety," I tell her laughing. "No, I was just thinking about some advice your dad gave me about Cillian the other day."

  "I love my Da," she says. "He gives the best advice. So impart to me."

  "He just warned me not to forget that Cillian's past dictates a lot of who he is, and that I shouldn't forget it."

  Cady nods in agreement. "So you know what happened to his parents?"

  "Yeah," I say quietly. "He told me... all about his childhood, and what happened later."

  "He doesn't talk about it. I tried to once, after the funerals, but he shut me down quick. Da told me to let him be and if he wanted to talk, he would. But he never has and I've let it go."

  Surely, the fact that Cillian shared those painful memories meant something. It doesn't appear that he's really told anyone else these details. But sometimes, that knowledge feels like a burden because it dictates a lot of the way I am handling my relationship with him.

  Glancing at my watch, I see I only have an hour to get ready before Cillian arrives so I shoo Cady out the door and head to the bathroom so I can take a shower.

  CHAPTER 22

  Cillian

  God, I'm a nervous wreck. I don't know what possessed me to agree to a double date with Maeve, but every terrible scenario I could imagine happening has been running through my head. I want to take Renner, looking completely edible in her little black dress, and leave...forget this whole stupid idea.

  When Maeve approached me, I was wary of her request. But she went on and on about this guy that she had hooked up with, and how much she liked him, and that she wanted me to meet him. And I thought...finally, maybe she'll turn some of her attention his way. I thought maybe she was finally getting her life back in order.

  It made me forget some of the weird conversations we've had the last week. She calls and texts constantly, which borders on overbearing because we're working together every day with the rest of the band. It means that I probably talk to Maeve more than I do Renner on any given day.

  When we're in my apartment working, she's also taken to asking more questions about Renner. Most of it innocent enough, like where she's from and what her family is like. But sometimes she's highly inappropriate. She was the last one to leave one afternoon, and we were chitchatting and, right out of the blue, she asked me what our sex life was like. She wanted to know if it was as good as what we had together.

  My jaw about hit the floor when she asked, and the first thoughts that jumped into my head were, "It's not as good as what we had, it's a fucking million times better," but of course I could never say that to her. Instead, I cursed at her and told her that was none of her business and to stay away from that shit.

  She didn't even bother to look apologetic and just shrugged her shoulders, as if was no big deal. Then she gave me a quick hug and left.

  It only took us about forty-five minutes to get to Bray, where we were meeting Maeve and her date for dinner. Renner was noticeably quiet during the drive, but I was lost in my thoughts, too. When we park, I turn in my seat to face her. "Are you okay with this?"

  She gives me a warm smile and it eases some of my tension. "It's a little late to be asking that, Cillian, but yes... this is fine. It will be fun and I'm curious to meet Maeve's date."

  Truth be told, so am I. She didn't tell me much other than they had dated for a year at the end of secondary school but had lost touch over the years. She apparently ran into him at the market last week and had hooked back up. Which in Maeve language means they were fucking, I'm sure.

  We walk into the restaurant and I give my name to the Maitre D'. We've apparently arrived first and we're shown to a secluded table, which I had requested near the back, where floor-to-ceiling windows overlook the setting sun on the Irish Sea.

  By unspoken agreement and I assume in deference to Maeve, we both order some sparkling water to drink and talk quietly while we wait.

  Maeve and her date finally show up about twenty minutes late and she looks great. Like me, she didn't bother to dress up but such is the way of rock stars I guess. She's wearing a pair of tight black jeans with some kind of mesh black top and a leather jacket. Her eyes are bright and cheery.

  She introduces us to her date... Brady Something-or-Other, and I can tell there's something off about him immediately. He talks a little too loud and I have to wonder if he's been drinking, so I keep a close eye on him. They sit down. Renner is on my right and Maeve to my left, Brady sitting across from me. He immediately orders a Guinness but Maeve sticks to water.

  It's awkward at first, or so it seems to me, but eventually the conversation gets going, mostly due in part to Renner's attempts to engage Brady in conversation.

  "So what do you do, Brady?"

  I don't particularly like the way the guy sort of leers at Renner, even glancing down a few times to her cleavage. "Ah... what don't I do, should be the question. I'm actually working two jobs now... I bartend at night and during the day I work at a delivery service."

  "I work at The Hibernian," she says kindly, "so I have a fond appreciation for bartenders."

  "And I have a fond appreciation for the pretty waitresses," he says, giving her a suggestive look and leaning toward her. My fists clench under the table but then he pulls away and turns to Maeve. "But none of them compare to my Maeve, now, do they?"

  He punctuates that statement by leaning toward her and grabbing the back of her head. He gives her a pornographic kiss and even groans out loud.

  I shoot Renner a glance and she rolls her eyes back at me, causing my lips to turn up at the over-the-top ludicrousness of this dude.

  After Maeve and Brady disconnect their tongues, we actually lapse into a reasonably normal conversation about the town of Bray. It seems Brady worked as a tour guide in this area at one point and he fascinates us about the region's history while he pounds his beer.

  The guy is kind of a gobshite, but at least he's entertaining. As he's telling Renner about Bray Head and
some of the hiking opportunities, I steal a glance at Maeve. My blood turns a little icy when I see she is pinning Renner with a disdainful look. I can't tell if she's mad that Renner is talking to her date, or if she just dislikes her that much.

  Her eyes flick to mine and she smiles in a cold way. "You remember that time you took me to Kinsale?"

  She says it loud enough that it breaks into the conversation between Renner and Brady. Everyone turns to look at her.

  "Yes," I say carefully. It was about a month after we started sleeping with each other.

  "Remember how we couldn't keep our hands off each other?" Her words are hard and bitter.

  "Maeve," I warn her. "That's inappropriate."

  She leans toward me, laying one arm on the table. I pin her with a glare, but she continues, her voice now soft and sultry. Her eyes gleaming. "Come on, Cillian. We fucked like animals. Remember how we stole down to the beach at midnight, and you took me right at the water's edge? I know someone saw us that night and it made even more exciting. Surely you remember that?"

  "Maeve! That's enough," I snarl. I look to Renner and her face is chalk white, her hands gripping the edge of the table.

  "Or what about the time after the show in Benicassim... you tied me to the bed and we broke the headboard. That was fucking amazing... you were fucking amazing."

  My hand shoots across the table and I grip her wrist. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

  She gives a hollow laugh but then lowers her voice, so she's whispering... her eyes locked with mine. "Or the time I went down on you in the--"

  I shoot up from the table and hiss, "That's enough."

  Pulling her up, I walk from the restaurant, keeping her wrist firmly grasped in mine. She continues throwing out memories.

  Or the time you fucked me back stage...

  Or what about when you fingered me under the table...

  I wanted to slap my hands over my ears to drown her out but I didn't want to release her wrist until I got her out of the restaurant.

  When we step outside, I pull her a few feet away from the door and spin her around roughly, tossing her arm aside to glare at her.

  "What in the hell is wrong with you? Are you fucking nuts?" I spit out.

  She stares at me blankly for just a second, then tears well up in her eyes. "What about the time you told me that you could see a permanent future between us? Have you forgotten that?"

  A single tear slips down her cheek. She glances to the ground and then back up at me again. "Have you really forgotten everything we were to each other?"

  I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly. "Maeve, I've forgotten none of that. But it's over. I'm sorry but it's over."

  Her voice goes shrill all of a sudden. "It's because of her... that fucking bitch has you brainwashed, I know it. I should go back in there and stomp her ass... drag her out and drown that bitch in the sea."

  Grabbing her by the shoulders, I give her a shake. "Stop it. Just shut the fuck up."

  I'm spinning out of control right now and Maeve is apparently slipping over the edge of sanity. Her threats against Renner have my blood boiling and I want to just walk away from her, grab Renner, and get the hell out of there. But there's no way I can leave Maeve like this, especially when it seems she's spiraling out of reach.

  Maeve takes in a racking breath and then a sob tears out of her throat. She throws herself into my arms and starts to sag to the ground, so my arms automatically come up to wrap around her.

  She starts mumbling, rapidly... bursts of fragmented sentences spilling forth. "We were right together... know it... I don't have nightmares with you... he doesn't come into my room at night when I'm with you. I'm best... you'll see. Best for you. Once she's gone, it won't matter."

  Oh, God. Oh, fuck. What do I do with this? How do I fix this mess?

  "Maeve... darling... let me take you back to Dublin Mind Wellness right now. I'll help get you through this."

  She just starts crying loudly, her tears wetting my t-shirt, and I pull her in close for a tight hug, my heart ripping.

  Glancing over her shoulder, I see Renner and Brady have come out of the restaurant and are standing a few feet away. I have no clue how long they've been there but the look on Renner's face makes my stomach sick. She's looking at me hold Maeve and the look she's giving me is one of fear and revulsion.

  Unfortunately, I can't think about that right now. I have to figure out what to do with this situation. One thing is clear though... I have to handle this and I have to handle it now.

  My mind races, trying to figure out the best way to get Maeve back to Dublin. My plan is to drive her straight to Dublin Mind Wellness and hope to God they can take her in immediately.

  I look to Brady, not even wanting to see Renner's face over what I'm going to suggest. "Brady... can you take Renner back home so I can handle this?"

  "Sure, mate." He doesn't seem surprised by my request, nor does he seem surprised by Maeve's meltdown. In fact, he doesn't seem too bent out of shape by any of this fucked-up scenario.

  With one arm still around Maeve, I reach into my pocket and pull out a wad of cash. I thrust it at Brady and he takes it. "Take care of the tab and gas up your car. Keep the rest, just get her home safely." His eyes positively gleam because I handed him probably two hundred Euros.

  I don't dare make a move toward Renner, afraid that Maeve will start freaking out. I look at her briefly and say, "I'm sorry. But I have to handle this."

  I can feel Maeve turn her head against my chest so she can look at Renner too. But I keep my eyes pinned to those green jewels.

  She returns my look, her face impassive but her eyes are slightly morose. She flicks a quick glance to Maeve and something hardens in her gaze. She then turns on her heel and walks back into the restaurant.

  My heart lurches with anxiety and I feel like something pivotal has just happened. But I push it aside, my intent and only desire now is to get Maeve some help. Giving one last look at Brady, I turn away with my arm around Maeve and walk her to my car.

  CHAPTER 23

  Renner

  I'm exhausted as I knock on Cillian's door. I haven't slept a wink all night, sick with worry over what happened and over what may happen.

  Last night was a train wreck, the beginning only being Maeve's meltdown. I still can't believe Cillian left me stranded with a total stranger, one that turned out to be weirder by the moment.

  I was stunned when Cillian left me with him, alone and stranded miles from Dublin. I know, deep down, he wasn't thinking rationally. But something happened, just before he left, that gave me no doubt that Maeve was the only one thinking rationally. Just as he spoke his last words, she turned to look at me and I returned it. And I wasn't seeing a woman on the edge of a breakdown. No... the look she gave me was one of triumph. She actually smiled at me and her look said, "I won. You lost."

  I knew, in that moment, that Maeve was full of shit. Oh, I still understand that she has a problem... maybe one fueled by alcohol dependency and mental instability, made all the worse by the abuse she suffered. But last night, she was lucid and her eyes told me everything... it was a well-orchestrated plan on her part.

  The ride back to Dublin with Brady was wretched, but I also learned some important stuff. Stuff that has me full of rage at Maeve right now. I had to put up with his wandering hands and filthy suggestions to me, but at least I got what I think to be truthful information about her.

  First, I had to make him give me the keys to his car, because I suspected he had shown up at the restaurant a little sauced. I wasn't about to get in the car with him. He easily relented, which I came to learn on the ride back was so that he could try to put his hands in places they didn't belong.

  It started out first with him resting his arm across the back of my seat. Then his fingers slid into my hair and tried to rub my head. I wrenched it away and told him to back off. One other time, he tried to lay it on my leg and I told him I'd rip his nuts off if he tried to touch me aga
in.

  He finally relented for the rest of the trip, and became bored with me. But I was having none of that. I started pumping him for information, because I'd reached the end of my straw with Maeve.

  The thing I realize about Brady is he doesn't know how to shut up once you get him going, so it was easy to learn about my nemesis.

  After I heard about the slimy details of their dating and sexual relationship, I asked about her family. It was eye-opening indeed.

  "So, I heard her parents were real jerks to her growing up." I had no plan to share the real details of what Cillian had told me, because despite how much I despised Maeve right now, I wasn't going to give away that confidence.

  "Nah. Her aunt was an old sweetie."

  "But what about her mom and dad?" I pressed.

  "Mom and dad?" I glanced over at him and he was looking at me with curiosity.

  "Yeah. Mom. Dad. You know--the people that raised her."

  "I don't know who you're talking about but Maeve was raised her Aunt in Galway."

  "What happened to her parents?"

  "Maeve never knew her dad. Her mom was always single as far as I know, but she died when Maeve was only eight and her aunt raised her."

  Son of a bitch. Her story about her parents being alcoholics and abusing her was a fucking lie?

  "You're sure?"

  He looked at me like I was crazy. "Of course I'm sure. We dated for just over a year. I spent a lot of time at her aunt's house."

  My mind was still buzzing when we pulled in front of my apartment building. I tried to make haste to get out of the car but Brady put a restraining hand on my knee. I looked down at it and then back up to his face, giving him an icy glare.

  "Want to do a little blow with me? We can go up to your place and party."

  For a split second, I had no clue what he was talking about and then it dawned on me. Reaching down, I pulled his hand off my knee.

  "No, thanks," I gritted out and opened the car door.

  Before I could slide out, he locked his hand around my upper arm, with a hard enough grip I winced. "Don't be like that. Our dates ditched us. No reason we can't have some fun."

  Thankfully, the sidewalk was filled with people and the door was open. "If you don't let me go, asshole, I'm going to scream this neighborhood down." My words poured out in a fury that actually had me flinching at myself. But I know only a small portion of that fury was aimed at Brady. Most of it was for Maeve and the realization of her duplicity.