She followed his gaze. Three mounds of mayonnaise-drenched salad nearly filled her plate. “We don’t want any hurt feelings,” she blurted.
“Then I’ll need another go-around, won’t I?”
“Mom says it’s polite to have a taste of everything. Right, Mom?”
“That’s right, honey,” she said, proud of him for remembering the manners she had taught him, and happy that Tanner had witnessed it.
“Tasting everything sounds good to me.” Tanner smiled, his gaze drifting to her mouth.
Her cheeks flamed. She tilted her head down, waiting for the warmth to subside, and wondered how soon she could put some distance between them. A lot more space than the gap between their cafeteria seats.
Unfortunately, if she did try to slip away, Kevin would surely pick that moment to remember more of his manners—and announce that Mom always says it’s polite to wait until everyone is finished eating before anyone leaves the table.
Sarah stared down at her plate. She didn’t even particularly like potato salad.
Chapter Fourteen
“Hey,” Kevin called.
Sarah looked up to see a group of boys approaching. While the rest of the group continued past their table, Kevin’s friend Billy veered toward them.
Kevin grinned at him. “Why didn’t you come this morning?”
The other boy shrugged. “Gary said that was for kids getting punished.”
Kevin’s face fell.
Sarah frowned. “That’s not true, Billy. Mr. Porter opened that painting party to everyone.”
“Oh.” Billy turned to Kevin. “Come sit with me.”
Her son looked uncertain. Sarah opened her mouth, but Tanner spoke first. “Here comes Doc, Kev. You could let him have your seat.”
“Okay. See you later, Tanner.”
Tanner? When had he advanced to that?
Kevin slid out of his seat, and Doc slipped neatly into place, setting his overloaded plate in front of him. At least he’d served himself more than potato salad. “Howdy, folks.”
“Doc. Glad you could make it,” Tanner said. “Catch any of the action?”
“Latter half of it. Made sure I got here in time to see your team win.”
They slapped high fives and began a play-by-play of the game. From the corner of her eye, she stared at his profile.
“Sarah, I’m expecting you and Kevin for dinner tomorrow.”
Blushing, she jerked her gaze from Tanner. “Oh, I don’t know…”
At least once a month, Mrs. Gannett invited them, and sometimes Doc, to her house for Sunday dinner. Though Sarah tried to return the favor as often as she could, the older woman claimed she preferred to do the entertaining, saying she never got enough use out of her good china. Sarah knew better. But whenever she protested, Mrs. Gannett would just ask Sarah to humor her. And would agree to let her bring dessert.
Tanner shifted in his seat, enthusiastically demonstrating a play. His thigh brushed hers. She expected the friction to set sparks flying off the metal table.
Mrs. Gannett stared at her. Had she guessed?
“Mrs. Gannett, we just visited with you a couple of weeks ago.”
“And I want to see you both again. You won’t deny me that, will you?”
“Sarah being difficult again?”
Tanner broke into their conversation with an insufferable grin. She longed to wipe the smirk from his face…with her mouth. Cheeks burning once again, she turned her shoulder to him and jerked her knees to one side. The contorted position made her uncomfortable. So did brushing up against Tanner’s body—although in a much different way.
“Um…I’ve kept Kevin close to home this week,” she told Mrs. Gannett.
“Hey, ease up on the kid.” His breath tickled her cheek as he pleaded Kevin’s case. “He did a damn good job painting today. Even Sam Porter complimented him.”
That was good news. Though, much as she hated to admit it, she was sure Tanner’s presence had some influence on her son’s behavior.
Lord only knew, her own behavior seemed to follow Tanner’s lead.
“I swung by the school on the way over,” Doc said. “That fence looks mighty good now.”
Mrs. Gannett shook her head. “It was more than time to clean up that old eyesore. I told Sam so when I saw him after the game. He agreed with me.”
Tanner nodded. “He seems like a straight-up guy.”
Thank heaven, he settled back in his seat. Cautiously, she turned to sit in a more comfortable position.
“Sam kept a close eye on the crews all day. And he rolled up his sleeves and swung a paintbrush with the best of us.”
“A good man,” Doc put in.
“I always enjoyed working for Sam,” Mrs. Gannett said. “He’s a very hands-on principal.”
“Yeah.” Tanner grimaced. “And I’d guess he’s got a lot on his hands, with not much around here for the kids to do. Seems to me, there ought to be a way to keep them occupied, instead of wrapped up in pranks and vandalism.”
He’d said that to her once before.
Nice of him to continue thinking about it, when there wasn’t a whole lot he could do to solve the problem.
“Speaking of which…” Tanner looked over at the other folks sharing their long cafeteria table. They were busy in conversation; still, he lowered his voice. “I talked to some of the high school kids this morning. Charlie Kemper’s boy Johnny and a few of his friends. About what happened out at Charlie’s place a few days ago.”
“Cutting down that fence?” Doc asked.
“That’s right. They claim they’re innocent,” he continued, “and I tend to think they’re telling the truth.”
“You can believe them, if Johnny says so,” Mrs. Gannett told him. “He’s a good boy.”
Doc chuckled. “At least he’s smart enough not to mess around in his own backyard.”
“They couldn’t tell me much, but they promised to keep their eyes and ears open.”
Had he befriended all three of the boys already, the way he so quickly seemed to have charmed her son?
His son, too. She tightened her fist around her napkin.
“Well.” Mrs. Gannett gathered up her plastic cutlery. “I’m about ready to go home. Tanner, would you do me the favor of carrying the cooler back to the car?”
“Sure, Mrs. G.”
They began collecting their empty plates and cups.
“Oh!” Mrs. Gannett’s sudden exclamation made all three of them look at her. “How thoughtless of me, Sarah. I just remembered, you’re without transportation for tomorrow.”
And probably for the rest of her life. But she would never let on to any of them, especially Tanner.
Mrs. Gannett exchanged a look with Doc. Neither said a word. Then she looked back at Sarah. Seeing the twinkle behind the wire-rimmed glasses, she felt a twinge of unease. Of course, Doc would offer…
But she hadn’t heard Doc receive a dinner invitation. “Mrs. Gann—”
The other woman’s voice drowned her out. “Tanner, would you do me an additional favor and come to dinner tomorrow?”
“Anything for you. You know that.”
“Wonderful. Then you won’t mind stopping to pick up Sarah and Kevin, will you?”
“Why, no. I wouldn’t mind at all.” He looked over at Sarah with a smile. “I’m sure I’ll find it a pleasure. In fact, why don’t I just run them home now, save you the trouble? She and I have some things to discuss.”
“That’s a fine idea, Tanner.”
Sarah gave in with good grace. She didn’t know what Tanner wanted to talk about, but she certainly had things she would say to him.
She had made up her mind to tell him about Kevin.
She couldn’t continue to live with half truths. Couldn’t selfishly keep Kevin from his father. And couldn’t keep her secret from Tanner any longer. No matter what had happened between them, he had the right to know about their child.
Yet the idea of confessing to him scared her witless.
When she told him the truth about Kevin, would he want their son…but not her?
WHEN THEY ARRIVED back at the bookstore, Sarah barely made it to the sidewalk before Kevin jumped out of Tanner’s car and ran to the front door.
“Mom, I’m going to tell Mr. Kincaid about the game!”
“That’s fine, Kevin. Deputy Jones and I will be out back.” It was the only place she could think of to get some privacy.
She led Tanner around to the rear of the house and took a seat on the top step. He stood, leaning against the railing.
Long shadows filled the yard as the sun balanced on the horizon. Angled rays highlighted pieces of him, his sandy hair, the glinting objects hanging from his gunbelt, the metal star on his chest. To think that badge was what had brought them together again.
That badge. And their son.
“I’m glad you drove us home, after all, Tanner. I wanted to talk to you, too.” Her hands suddenly trembling, she clasped them together around one knee.
Our future’s in the past, she had told him Friday night after they’d left the dance hall. And it was true. She had to put that past behind her, once and for all. Because her son—their son—had his entire life ahead of him, one that ought to include his father.
She looked at Tanner, gripped her fingers more tightly, took a shuddery breath. And wimped out. “You go first.”
He nodded and leaned back against the rail. “I’ll cut right to the chase, Sarah. Let’s get married.”
Her throat closed on another shaky breath. After a long struggle, she managed to find her voice but could only sputter a shocked “W-what?”
“Just what I said.” He rested an elbow on the railing and peered down at her. “We’d planned to all along, right? But life got in the way. Now things have settled down again—we’ve settled down. It only makes sense.”
“Does it?” Was she really hearing all this?
“Yeah. I could be a good provider for you. I’ve got a secure job, a good future ahead of me.”
“A future outside Dillon, you mean.” She couldn’t keep herself from blurting the words. But he’d said them to her himself.
He stared at her. “What are you talking about?”
“What you told me the other night. You don’t plan to hang around Dillon, don’t plan to be a deputy forever. You’ve got bigger dreams.”
“Well, sure, I said that. I don’t want to be a deputy for the rest of my life. But what does that have to do with Dillon?”
She frowned. “A lot, you thought, when you were talking about Deputy Worth staying—”
“Oh, him. My point had nothing to do with him hanging around Dillon, it was about him being content to stay a deputy sheriff, not wanting to better himself. There are things he could’ve done to earn himself a promotion—like taking more of an interest in what goes on around town. Finding a way to keep the kids out of trouble. Bringing in some new business. He could’ve moved up in the world, without having to leave Dillon.”
“You left.”
He sighed. “That was different.”
“We’re different.”
“Not so much. Matured, is all. But inside, we’re still the same.”
No, we aren’t.
That maturity he talked about had changed her, inside and out. She owed that in part to his leaving. Being forced to take care of everything herself had made her stronger, more independent in the long run. She wasn’t about to give that up.
Yet, hadn’t she longed for the relationship they’d once had?
She stared out across the yard, squinting into the setting sun, still stunned by his blunt suggestion that they marry. Tempted by it, too.
His proposal might have come eight years late, but it could still solve all her problems. Help her take care of Kevin, pay the bills she couldn’t manage alone, save her home and beloved bookstore from going under.
You could do it yourself, her independent nature yelled at her.
I’ve tried, she yelled back. Lord knows, she had tried.
But his proposal would do so much more than solve problems. It would make her lifelong dream come true. She had always wanted to marry Tanner. She loved him. And he loved her, too. Didn’t he? Even though he hadn’t said the words?
Hesitantly, she touched her tongue to her dry lips, tried to speak and failed.
The time had come tell him about Kevin.
She had to do it immediately. It was bad enough she had waited till now, when he had already proposed to her. Suppose she accepted…. Suppose a miracle happened, and they did get married…. She couldn’t let him be humiliated by finding out then.
But she also couldn’t do anything until they had resolved her most important concern.
She cleared her throat and tried to speak again. “What about Kevin?”
“What about him?”
She took a long, steadying breath. “You would adopt him?”
He hesitated. Looked away. Said nothing.
Her heart pounded painfully against her breastbone. She watched him, and again felt unable to speak. Less than an hour ago, she had worried if, when she confessed to Tanner, he would want Kevin but not her.
Had she gotten everything turned around backwards? Did she not know him at all?
And why wouldn’t he answer?
“Tanner?”
Finally, he looked back at her, his expression grave, his features drawn in the waning light. He shook his head, and her heart sank.
“Sarah, I’m willing enough to take care of you and Kevin. You know that. Stepfather, yeah, that I’ll agree to. But that’s it. I don’t want to adopt the boy.”
Tears stung her eyes, and a coldness settled inside her. How could he hurt her like that, rejecting her son? Rejecting his own son, if only he knew.
How could he hurt Kevin like that? Kevin, who looked up to him like some kind of hero?
She gathered her skirt and rose. Carefully, she made her way down the steps until she reached his side.
He looked at her, saying nothing.
She clutched the folds of her dress, yearning instead to reach up to touch his face, run her fingers along his cheek, stroke his jaw. Wanting to drown in his sea-blue eyes, so wide and clear.
And so like Kevin’s.
Her son’s name brought her back to reality, making her understand she had to do what she’d done all along.
Stand strong, and take care of her son on her own.
“The offer’s tempting, Tanner,” she said, forcing a light tone. “But you walked away from me once, and I can’t take the chance you would do it again. I have Kevin to worry about this time.” She stepped back. “So my answer is no, I won’t marry you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Tanner took a seat on Mrs. G’s sofa.
After Sarah’s point-blank refusal to marry him, he’d had a good mind to bail out on Sunday dinner. Glad he hadn’t. Mrs. G made a mean hunk of beef.
Besides, that’d only been his wounded pride talking. He wasn’t down for the count just yet. He had a feeling Sarah’s pride had been talking for her, too.
Maybe he shouldn’t have been so quick to reject her question about adopting Kevin. That part of his plan sure seemed to backfire.
Well, give her time to settle down, and everything would work out the way he intended.
The two women had gone in to put away what little leftovers they had. Doc Thompson had showed up on the doorstep just as they’d sat down to eat. Now he entered the living room with a coffee mug in each hand. He gave one to Tanner, then took a seat in Mrs. G’s rocking chair.
Leaning forward, he set his mug on the table beside his chair. “Hey, Kevin, why don’t you get me those last two books over there.” He pointed to a bookcase in one corner.
The boy pulled out a couple of albums almost bigger than he was and carried them to the coffee table.
“Let me see.” Doc grabbed one of the books. “Do you know, Tanner, Lily’s kept an annual from every class in Dillon High. Even now
that she’s retired.”
“Has she? Then she’ll have one from the year I graduated.” The year he and Sarah graduated.
“Got it right here,” Doc said. “Take a look.” He handed the open book to Tanner.
He flipped through until he got to the individual photos. Another flip, and there he was, top corner of the right-hand page. And there was Sarah, just a row below.
They hadn’t changed much from their high school days. In her picture, Sarah wore her hair in a thick braid dangling over her shoulder, like she did now. He recalled how her hair looked loose and flowing around her shoulders, and suddenly felt the need to shift in his chair.
“There’s Mom,” Kevin said, pointing.
Tanner looked over. The boy didn’t have a bound yearbook in front of him, but a three-ring binder filled with plastic-covered pages. He leaned closer. “Don’t tell me Mrs. G keeps all the grade-school class photos, too.”
“She sure does.” Doc chuckled.
“Let me see that, kid.”
Kevin handed the book to Tanner and came to sit beside him on the sofa. “See, there’s Mom.” He had the binder opened to their third-grade class. Sure, enough, there sat Sarah in the middle of the second row. Taller than most of the other girls, she’d always had to sit or stand in the back.
“And there’s me,” Tanner told Kevin. He tapped his finger over to the right on that same row. He’d always towered over most of the boys, too.
Doc leaned sideways. “Kev, he’s got a cowlick just like yours.” He pointed to the lock of hair standing up in the photo.
“Hey, yeah. You got a tooth missing, too, Tanner. Just like me.” Kevin laughed.
Tanner didn’t. He stared down at his own picture, as stunned as if somebody had hit him over the head with one of Mrs. G’s heavy photo albums.
He looked again from the gap-toothed grin in the photo to Kevin’s face.
The kid’s got more than just the same tooth missing. He’s got my smile.
He’s got my blue eyes, not Sarah’s green ones.
And he’s got a lefty’s baseball mitt just like the one I used growing up.
All those times he’d thought about Kevin being his and Sarah’s. Wondered if he could be. Imagined that he was.
The Sheriff's Son Page 13
