It’s as if time freezes. It’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop while both sides watch the ball fly through the air. The silence is interrupted by the swish of the ball as it flies through the net. It’s a perfect three-pointer. They could create instructional videos with that shot.
Our side of the crowd erupts. The score is 91 to 88, but there are still five seconds left, and the Mavericks are getting the ball back. Luckily, Nate is faster than their guy, and he steals the inbound pass. He quickly passes to Jake to keep it away from the other team and avoid getting fouled. Jake passes to Marcus who is somehow open. Our boys are too fast for them, and the Mavericks watch as their chance at state slips away while the clock ticks down.
As soon as the clock hits zero, Marcus throws the ball straight up in the air, and our entire school swarms the court.
I feel strong, sweaty arms pull me out of the crowd. My eyes expect to land on Marcus, but when I look up, I see Jake’s incredible smile and deep dimples. He picks me up with his arms wrapped around my waist and spins me around.
“We did it!” he whispers in my ear. I hope to always hear this elation in his voice.
He’s usually so cautious, but we couldn’t get any more out in the open than we currently are.
As he places me back down and the crowd continues to swarm around us, I catch Marcus’s glance in our direction. He’s being carried off on the shoulders of the team and practically the entire school. He scored the winning shot, and his teammates won’t let him get away without rewarding him. They are bringing him to the basket to cut the net down.
When my eyes land on his, he gives me a smile, a heart-melting smile. It’s so genuine, so full of trust. My body reacts as butterflies fill my stomach when I return his smile, but my heart is locked on Jake, on his smile, his dimples, his heart.
“Congrats!” I scream to Jake over the cheers of the crowd.
Everyone passing by pats him on the back, fist bumps him, or gives him a high-five. The girls squeal when he gives them his infamous smile as they congratulate him.
I look for Mel, but she’s lost somewhere in the crowd, so we are safe for now.
“Who are you looking for?” Jake asks as he steps closer to me, guiding my eyes back to his with a gentle touch of my chin. His eyes are a gorgeous light brown at the moment, filled with green and grey flecks. “I’m right here.” He steps even closer, our chests touching, and I feel his sweat-soaked jersey through my cheer uniform. I know it’s wrong, but my body reacts with excitement. I need him. I want him. But we can’t. Not here.
I stand up on my tiptoes so he can hear me. “We need to be more careful.”
“Why?” he asks, revealing his incredible dimples. His smile is enough to convince my heart this is not a mistake, though my head knows it is.
I glance back to the basket to see Marcus hoisted up on the teams’ shoulders. He almost has the entire net cut down.
“Because you have a girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend.” I hate the words, despite knowing they need to be said.
“Not for long,” Jake says as his fingers interlock with mine. Our hands are hidden by the crowd that continues to fill the court all around us. They are the perfect symbol of our relationship—our hearts are intertwined, just like our hands, but it needs to stay hidden, private.
“Hey, guys!” I hear Mel’s voice before I see her, and we both quickly unlink our fingers.
I give Jake a nervous glance, but he still seems to be on his winning high. He doesn’t have a care in the world.
Mel eyes us with a questioning look, but trust wins over. I can almost see her mentally dismiss it. “Cam said, after showers, everyone is heading to Lucas’s house. So hit the showers, baby.” She gives him a sweet smile.
“Will do.” Jake runs his hand down her arm then leans down to kiss her on the cheek, his eyes staying locked on mine. Before he pulls up, he mouths, “Meet me. Locker room.”
Mel turns to me and links her arm with mine. “Come on, D; let’s go change.”
***
Since this is regionals, we play on a neutral site at the County Center. The positive is this is a real venue with actual locker rooms and showers for both teams, so there’s no need for the guys to go back to school to change. The negative is I have no idea where I’m going.
I lied to Mel and told her I had to find Marcus, so just add that onto the pile of lies. I am the worst best friend.
My heart is slamming in my chest as I walk through the narrow back hallways that lead to the locker rooms. I know this is how we walked out to the court, but I’m having a hard time remembering which way the boys’ locker room is.
Thankfully, it’s much less crowded back here since everyone is still on the court. I can actually hear myself think, and everything I’m thinking is telling me to turn around. Then I hear it. His voice.
“Daniella.” His voice is so deep, so beautiful.
I close my eyes before I turn around. I should walk away. This is too dangerous, too risky. My heart wins the internal battle, though, and when I finally turn around, my eyes land on Jake walking toward me.
“You came.” His deep smile shows me his perfect dimples, and all doubt is washed away. This is where I need to be—with him.
“I came,” I say, resting my hand on his chest for balance as I stand up on my tiptoes.
He leans down, and his soft lips meet mine, a surge of electricity flying through me from the contact. I know he feels it, too.
“I needed to do that,” he whispers, his lips still inches away from mine.
Before I know it, he is pulling me through a door, and then we are in someone’s office. I don’t bother looking around, unable to take my eyes off his. They are dancing with so many different colors: gold, green, flecks of blue.
“Where are we?” I ask, my gaze never leaving his.
“Somewhere private.” He smiles then leans down and kisses me. It’s a deeper kiss this time. All of the longing, secrets, and passion are poured into this kiss.
The desire to be together is laced with urgency as he picks me up and places me on the desk. I think it’s the desk, but who has time to look or even care? It’s something hard and made of wood.
He pushes his fingers through my hair as I run my hands down his back, feeling his sweat-soaked jersey. Needing to touch him, I push my hands under his jersey then pull it up and over his head.
I stop to take him in, and my breath is stolen from me. His perfection is stunning, and his smile blows me away because it’s filled with love. He looks at me as if he sees me the same way I see him, as if I’m something beautiful and precious, something to be cherished. No one has ever looked at me that way before.
We both just relish in this moment of being truly alone together until I can’t wait any longer. I reach out and slide my hand down his chest, wanting to memorize every contour as if I’m reading brail.
His touch is slow and gentle as his fingers glide over my collarbone and then up to my face. The pads of his thumbs run over my cheeks, and his eyes lock with mine.
“You’re beautiful, Dani.” He doesn’t move, only takes me in as if he’s memorizing every detail, just as I’m doing for him. Then he leans in and kisses me. This is the best kiss yet, soft and gentle.
There is no urgency, no need to rip each other’s clothes off to make the most of the limited time we have together. This kiss is filled with everything we want to say: the yearning, the secrets, but mostly the love, a love that is so strong and powerful it’s worth losing everything for.
Chapter Thirteen
Present – Hospital
I finally make it into Jake’s room. I need to see him, though I know I don’t have much time. I love Dax for understanding and convincing Nate and Cam that I couldn’t go back to my room without at least getting a minute alone with Jake.
I squeeze my eyes shut and concentrate on breathing. In, out. In, out. In, out. I need to concentrate on each breath, or I’m going to hyperventilate.
Jake is beautiful, like
always. His room is almost identical to Marcus’s, but something is different. Maybe it’s because Jake is still here, still fighting.
According to Cam, he has several broken ribs and a lacerated lung, which is why he is on a ventilator. Jake is scraped and bruised, and he has a bandage on his head similar to mine. I know he needed stitches in lots of places. He also has a tube sticking out from under the blankets. I need to focus on something else, because knowing that it’s attached to his chest to help release pressure from building up due to his collapsed lung makes my stomach churn. It’s such a small tube yet so important to keeping him here, keeping him alive.
Get it together, I repeat to myself. I have already been warned to keep it positive, not to bring up Marcus, but it’s so hard. Jake is the only one who will truly understand.
Everyone keeps using the word lucky, considering he was thrown from the car. It doesn’t seem like the right word when his best friend is next door on life support, his girlfriend is recovering from surgery, and his dirty secret is the reason. I hate that I’m the dirty secret. I hate myself. I hate us. But how can something that comes from so much love be so wrong?
I squeeze my eyes shut again. Looking at him makes me forget how wrong it is. Looking at him is a painful reminder of how much I love him, how much I need him, and how right it feels when we are together. I know our secret isn’t what actually caused the accident, but I keep replaying every detail of that night. If just one thing happened differently—one less kiss, one less touch … A one second difference could have changed everything.
Seeing him clinging to life, I can’t deny my love for him. I also can’t allow myself to feel it anymore. It’s not fair to Marcus or Mel.
The one thing this horrible accident tells me is that Jake and I are not meant to be, but that is something we can deal with later. Of course, I need a chance to deal with it, which means I need him to wake up. I need him to pull through more than anything in this world. I need him to fight.
“Jake, it’s me, Dani,” I whisper as close to his ear as I can get with all the tubes in the way while I grip his hand with both of mine. Touching him reminds me of everything we have been through together, and the love overwhelms me.
“I need you to keep fighting. Please fight. I love you.” That’s all I can get out before my emotions take over, and my voice reveals just what a mess I am.
The tears are streaming down my cheeks, but I can’t bring myself to wipe them away. That would mean letting go of Jake’s hand.
The reality of losing him hits me all at once, and I feel a pain in my chest unlike any other. It feels like it’s caving in, as if someone reached in and ripped out my heart.
“Please, Jake. I need you.” I sob into his blankets. I’m trying so hard to mask my voice, to sound calm and positive. But realizing just how much I will lose if I lose him is overwhelming, and I can’t handle it.
“Okay, D, let’s get you back to your room,” I hear Nate’s voice. He must have seen me losing it. Damn glass.
I shake my head with my eyes locked on Jake. My brain tries to remember every detail of him just in case this is the last time. This can’t be the last time. It can’t be the end.
I feel Nate’s hands on my shoulders, and then his hand is on top of mine. “It’s not the last time, D,” he says softly.
I didn’t think I said that out loud. I’m so mixed up, so many emotions are surging through my body. I don’t know what is real and what isn’t anymore.
Nate wraps his arms around me, and once I’m safe in his warm embrace, I completely lose it. I feel my legs buckle, the room starts to spin, and everything fades to black. It all slips away.
Chapter Fourteen
Fifty-Three Hours Ago
“State, here we come!” Cam shouts over the roar of his engine.
I’m in the front seat, wishing I were in the back, sitting next to Jake. I can’t stop picturing Jake’s hands on my body, his lips on mine, his breath on my neck, his fingers gliding across my skin. It was a little less than an hour ago when we snuck into that office. It’s so hard to be this close to him but pretend we are only friends.
“That was a hell of a last shot, Marc,” Jake says, and I know he has Marcus in a playful headlock.
“Thanks for the setup, oh mighty basketball god,” Marcus shoots back. I can picture the smile on his face that matches his sarcastic tone.
This is what they do. They never take or give sole credit, knowing it’s not one person; it’s a true team effort.
Before the game, it’s serious concentration. After the game, it’s lighthearted sarcasm, followed by massive celebration.
Speaking of celebration, we are on our way to Lucas’s house. His dad is once again out of town, and the night is young.
As we pull up to his house, I’m flooded with memories of the last time we were here: Joel, the dark hallway, how easily he was able to overpower me. I haven’t allowed those thoughts to creep back in until seeing the house. Now all of those feelings churn up.
I use all of my power to push those thoughts away. I will not let what happened stop me from having fun or enjoying Lucas’s parties. I refuse to allow fear to dictate my decisions.
While we all walk up to the house, I glance over at Jake who is in a deep conversation with Nate. I’m so grateful to have them. I know they will always have my back.
We find our usual spot by the fire pit, and we all resume our normal positions. I nestle into Marcus because that’s what I’m supposed to do. I feel his strong arms around me and love the comfort he gives me. I feel safe with him. He’s like your favorite blanket. You love it because you know everything about it, and it’s always there for you when you need it.
I glance over to see Mel is on Jake’s lap as usual. Jake’s eyes meet mine, and he gives me a small smile from across the fire. On the outside, it’s innocent, or at least, I think it is, but I know it’s filled with so much more.
There is an unspoken tension filling the air that is never there. I’m not sure why. We just won the game.
Marcus slides his hand over my hipbone and onto my stomach. It’s a territorial kind of move that is so unlike him. I notice his gaze is on Jake, too, and I feel him tense up.
Shit. He knows or suspects. We need to cool it.
On instinct, I look at Mel, who seems to only have eyes for Jake. She’s making sure his attention is on her. Her hands are on his face to keep his eyes locked on hers. They are both smiling about something, and then she leans in and kisses him—really kisses him—which is so out of character for her.
I feel like I’m going to throw up. They both know.
“Who wants a drink?” Cam asks, seeming oblivious to the four-way silent battle happening.
“I do.” Dax jumps up, releasing Em. Then he smiles down at her. “Emmy?”
“Okay,” Em says as she locks hands with Dax to go for a beer walk with them.
Hanna doesn’t miss their interaction. She glances at me with a smile then shouts out, “Just come out with it already, you two. We know you like each other.” Then she laughs. I can tell she had her own pre-party because she is already giddy. Either way, I appreciate her lightening the tension and putting the focus on something else.
Marcus starts to move, but before he gets up, he grips me a little more firmly.
“Jake? Drink?” He gives Jake a look that I can’t read.
“Sure. Girls?” he asks to the rest of us as he gets up, making sure Mel is comfortable when he repositions her off his lap.
As they walk away toward the kegs, I see Jake and Marcus fall back from the others, and my heart drops. I think about following them but know that’s a bad idea. I try to read their body language. It looks tense; it’s never tense with them.
Within minutes, everyone is back except Jake and Marcus.
“You seem to have lost a few,” I say with a smile to the group as they approach, trying to mask my concern.
Mel picks up on it and gives me a questioning look. Maybe sh
e doesn’t know. Maybe she is just feeling daring tonight and wants to celebrate the win.
“Your drinks are coming, D. Relax,” Dax says with a laugh. I’m glad he thinks that’s why I was asking.
“Swimming?” Hanna pops up and asks Nate with an outstretched hand. She knows he will never do it, but she loves to play with him.
“Okay,” Nate says with a smile as he accepts her challenge and her hand.
“Yeah, baby!” Cam shouts as he rips off his shirt.
“You’re not invited,” Nate says with a smile as he locks his fingers with Hanna’s.
“What …? Oh … shit, Nate. That’s my boy. The baby is growing up.” Cam slaps him on the back as Hanna wraps her arms around him.
Well, it seems to be a night of truths.
“What’d we miss?” Jake asks as they re-approach the group in the middle of Cam’s shirtless salute.
“There’s a swim lesson happening, and we’re not invited,” Dax catches him up with a laugh as he gestures toward Nate and Hanna.
“Screw that. We’re celebrating,” Jake says as he peels off his shirt to match Cam. I try to subtly relish in his gorgeous, firm chest, but more importantly, I try to read him and Marcus. They seem fine.
Before I know it, the boys are in their boxers, and the girls are in their bras and underwear. Even though it’s the beginning of March, it’s still around eighty degrees, so the cool water feels incredible.
It’s as if the water is an excuse to let loose and do whatever we want with whomever we want. I look around and seem to be the only person not kissing someone. Nate is attached to Hanna; Dax is connected to Em, and I mean really connected. They are practically on top of one another. Jake seems to be focused on Mel at the moment, which turns my stomach, and Cam is kissing Bea.
Bea! What is he thinking? Great, now she will never leave us alone. God, I can’t stand her.
I’m about to go over there to knock some sense into him when I feel a hand grip my wrist and pull me back.
“Where are you off to?” Marcus asks with his perfect smile. His dark hair is soaked and hanging into his gorgeous blue eyes.
In an Instant Page 9
