My biker was already drunk, but he was a cute drunk.
“Here I do all the work and you drink all the booze,” I sassed as I sat on his lap.
“Hell yeah, I like it that way.” His words slurred and I wondered how he’d gone from sober to drunk in such a short time.
I snuggled into him, loving the leather smell that mixed with the one that was all him. I planned to get him home soon before he was too drunk to play my favorite kind of games.
* * *
The shower woke me up the next morning. I glanced at my clock, 6:30 was way too early so I covered my head with my arm and tried to go back to sleep, but I was awake. The shower shut off and Rebel strolled out of my bathroom a few minutes later.
He stopped at the foot of my bed. “Did I wake you up?”
I yawned. “Yeah, why are you up so early?”
“Got a meeting at the clubhouse today.”
“Oh yeah, it’s Thursday.” I stretched and sat up. “I’ll follow you up in the SUV.”
He prowled to me, dropping his towel. “You’ll ride with me. I’ll send the prospects down for the SUV.”
“Why?” It made no practical sense.
“I like you behind me, feels right.” He kissed me, dragging me under before I could reason out what he meant.
Rebel delayed our start with a naughty seduction. His brand of lovemaking defied description, I only hoped I’d be able to survive once he no longer wanted me—a day that was coming very soon.
I rode on the back of his bike even though it was impractical, but I honestly couldn’t refuse the man anything. I spent every day soaking up all I could hoping it’d sustain me once we went our separate ways.
Maybe he felt the same way because all week he kept me right next to him, and I ate his attention up, gorging on all things Rebel. The only time we weren’t in sync was when I mentioned the divorce papers. They’d disappeared off his kitchen cabinet. I’d asked him if he wanted me to take the signed papers back to Dallas. He snapped that he’d take care of it. I didn’t understand why it made him pissy, but I dropped it.
Today was Sunday. The day I was leaving for Dallas—our pretend relationship was over and sadness hovered at the edge of my consciousness, ready to swoop in and drag me under.
Rebel showered getting ready to go to his club’s Sunday meeting and I planned on leaving for Dallas. I had my truck loaded and sat on the couch giving Harley some last love when Rebel strolled into the room.
“Why so sad?” He crouched down in front of me.
“I’m not, really. Just thinking about missing Harley.” The wily tom purred louder and rubbed his chin against mine.
“Why?”
“What do you mean? Why?” I pushed the words past the lump of emotion I was trying to keep from spewing all over him.
“We won’t be living together, but you’ll still be up to see me.” He sat next to me and the cat hopped to Rebel’s lap, as if he approved of his master’s suggestion.
“I will?” This shit was beyond confusing. He’d avoided all attempts I’d made to discuss our divorce, so I’d assumed our future was off the table.
“The marriage deal has run its course, but I’m still down with the sex deal.” He waggled his brows in a comical way.
I giggled. And I don’t giggle, but all the nervous tension had to find an escape. “The sex deal.” I hadn’t thought about our no-relationship-just-sex deal. Could I handle that? I was more than a little in love with him, prolonged exposure would only make that love harder to bear.
When I stared into his cinnamon gaze, I couldn’t say no but I shouldn’t say yes. We were quickly approaching the point where ice cream wouldn’t fix my broken heart. Or maybe I’d already passed that point? It was hard to tell since I’d never loved anyone like I did him. Without a point of comparison, I floundered in this sea of feeling with no clue what awaited me once I reached shore.
“Okay, we still have the sex deal.” I blew out a breath. “But now I need to get to Dallas and you need to get to a meeting.”
“No.” He scowled at me. Harley left his lap for mine, giving Rebel the stink-eye. “You’re going to the club with me and leaving for work Tuesday morning.”
He sounded so damn reasonable, but I’d told him three times I planned to leave today. He’d never said a word so I thought we agreed.
“I’m leaving now.” I stood, dumping the cat from my lap. Harley gave me his own scowl before prancing off, outrage in every dainty step.
“Baby, don’t push me.” He stood and drew me to him. “You need to leave Tuesday, not now.” Some emotion swirled in the depth of his gaze, something vulnerable and unrecognizable.
Exactly how did he feel about me? I wished I was brave enough to challenge him or even ask him about it. But, I understood the consequences of his response only too well. One word could send me flying out of control, left with a heart broken so profoundly it’d never be whole again. No, I’d never ask him about his emotions or share my love for him. I was all kinds of stupid for falling for my bad boy, but even I wasn’t stupid enough to go there.
“Tuesday?” I tried to read him but like always I was out of my depth. “Anything else I don’t know?”
A smile played across his lips before he kissed me, intoxicating me with his touch. Too dazed for thoughts, let alone words, I let him tug me out of the house to his bike.
We saddled up on his Harley and headed to the Brotherhood compound. This was the first Sunday I’d come with Rebel to his club. He said Sundays were for Church—what the bikers called their weekly meeting. He’d been tense since our run-in with Charlie last weekend, but nothing like today. Every muscle in his back and sides was coiled tight. I’d held onto him too many times to count, but this was the first time I ever felt the tension in him. I wished I could take it away, help him, but I had no idea how.
We slowed and turned up the gravel lane to the cinderblock building Rebel called home. When he parked his bike, he didn’t head straight for the group of people outside, instead he drew me close. With his jaw tight and eyes empty, I reached up and kissed him, pouring my belief in him into my kiss. I had his back and more, I believed in him. He cupped my ass and drew me closer, devouring me with his mouth as if I were the last oxygen on Earth.
He pulled back and cursed. “Baby, I gotta go. You stay with Mama and Marr until I come get you. Understand me?”
I nodded. Swallowing to clear the fear that blocked my throat, I met his gaze. “You got this. Whatever you need to do today it’s the right thing and your brothers know it.”
He stepped back confusion clouded his features. “How—”
I lifted my shoulders in a shrug. “I don’t know your business, but I know you.” I traced the dent in his chin. “You made the right call.”
He bent his forehead to mind and squeezed me. “Thanks, baby.”
A moment passed between us and I wish I understood what happened, but all I know is something shifted and in that brief space of time I knew he loved me—maybe only for that second—but right then he loved me.
With a smack to my ass, he pulled away from me until only our hands were linked together.
“Hey, Marr,” Rebel called to the six-foot woman dressed all in leather.
She turned and grinned at me. “Hey, Elle, glad to see you today.”
“Keep her out of trouble until I come get her.” Rebel let go of my hand and left without a word to me.
He confused me more every minute I was with him.
“You still leaving Tuesday?” She frowned at me.
“Still have a company to run.” We’d talked about the changes in my life when we’d sparred on Thursday. She hadn’t been chatty then, more focused on our workout.
“So Jericho says we got an hour maybe more before they’re done.” She scowled
at the block building. “We can prepare food and act like all the other hens, or...” Her grin turned devilish. “We can spar again.”
“Let’s spar.” I started walking toward the side of the building.
“Keep going to the back. The hens will be in and out of that door.” Marr spoke from behind me.
Marr and I removed our shoes. Hers were thigh-high boots with a good five inches of heel. My boots were much easier in comparison.
“You just gonna leave him?” Marr’s question hit hard, worse than a punch.
“Are we clucking or fighting?” I had no room for her judgments. I was too full of my own.
“Fighting, love.” She bowed to me.
I returned the bow and we each fell into our stance. Thirty minutes later, I dropped to the grass. “Enough.” I panted, trying to get enough oxygen running through my body. We’d been brutal today and it was exactly what I’d needed. No doubt I’d have a helluva bruise on my shoulder and right thigh, but Marr wasn’t leaving unmarked either.
Marr sat on the ground beside me, sucking in deep breaths. “You are a nasty bitch. I like it.”
I chuckled and drew to my feet. I should put on my boots but I was beat, instead I padded over to the white porch swing fastened to a rusted swing set frame. I sagged into the swing, not ready to face the women, the questions, or my own doubts.
A few minutes later Marr joined me with her boots back on. We sat in silence, the only sound the creak of the chain from the moving swing.
“You could have him if you wanted him.” Marr didn’t glance my way.
“I don’t want him.” I didn’t even believe myself.
“Better work on that if you’re planning to convince anyone.”
“No one will ask, so I have nothing to worry about.” It was that simple. Rebel wouldn’t ask me to stay, to be more than we were now, so I had no one to convince.
“You could ask, that’s my point.” Marr turned her cat eyes on me.
“And you can mind your own business.” I returned her stare.
“Like that is it?” She grinned at me. “All self-denial and martyrdom.”
“Sure,” I snapped. “They’ll saint me when I die.”
“So that’s not it? Then why?” Marr kept prodding me.
“I made a deal, and I keep my word.” I wanted to storm off to give action to the temper rising in me, but she didn’t deserve the pleasure of knowing she’d gotten to me.
“Well fuck me, I owe Jericho money.”
I whipped around and pinned her with my glare. “You bet on me?”
“Bikers bet on everything. And I’ll bet that bastard has inside info he didn’t tell me. I bet you’d make a play for more from our Rebel and he bet against me, so did Dare and Rock. Viper sided with me and of course Mama, but she’s a romantic.”
My life, my torture, my pain—all were just entertainment to them. “What did Rebel bet?”
“Oh love, we don’t let the biker or woman in question in on our action.” She snorted kind of a half laugh. “The bets on Jericho and I were legendary—we didn’t work well together, at first anyway.”
I let silence hang between us until I could speak with a calm I didn’t feel. “So you just wanted to poke at me? Is this the sadistic part of you?”
“There you are,” Rebel called.
I jerked up, surprised. He stood at the corner of the building. Had he heard our conversation? I glanced to Marr, she gave a slight shake of her head, and the overpowering anxiety drained away. He didn’t know. I never planned to reveal how much I wanted him to want me.
“You’ve been fighting again, you’re a bad influence, Marr.” Rebel walked up to us. “Who won?”
“Neither of us.” Marr stood. “We exhausted each other before either of us got the upper hand.”
Rebel sat where Marr had been. She was gone, around the building and out of sight. “What’s bothering you?”
I glanced over to see the tension lines gone from his face.
“Thinking about Tuesday. I’ve been gone a month, and the transition...well there isn’t one, so I don’t know what to expect.” It was a good cover, even if I wasn’t a tenth as worried about the company as I was about our future.
“You’ll kick ass and take names, darling. That’s what you always do.” He picked me up and settled me onto his lap.
“I always do that?” I teased.
“Kick my ass every damn day, and I always want more.” The sensual tone of his voice sent shivers along my bare arms.
We sat together swaying on the swing without talking. With Rebel’s arms around me, the heartache that almost choked me earlier ebbed away. “I’m hungry. We need food.”
“Let’s go then.” He lifted me off his lap to the ground. His thumb wiped at the corner of my mouth. “You had a spot of blood there.” He grinned down at me.
After I’d slid on my boots we headed around to a whole spread of food. “Do they do this every Sunday?”
He grinned. “Lots of perks to being part of the Brotherhood.”
We made our way through the line of food, my plate entirely too full. I followed Rebel to a table. We sat next to JoJo and Delta.
“Hey, boss.” JoJo nodded to Rebel. “And Blondie.”
“You catch your bad guy yet?” I asked JoJo.
“Yup, last night. Unlike Delta who is sucking last teat.” JoJo rabbit punched Delta in the arm.
“Fuck off, my guy was a ghost, but I’ve found his trail now.” Delta’s smile turned smug. “And he’s worth two of your guy.”
From my brief time working with the three, it amazed me how competitive they all were. If my bail enforcement agents were half as competitive we’d close twice the number of contracts.
Bear sat down next to me, his amber eyes zeroed in on me. “Hey, beautiful. What did you ever decide?”
“Bear,” Rebel snarled. “Leave off.”
“Well, I loved the movies you sent me. Rebel was exquisite.” I had no plan of deleting those movies from my laptop. They’d provide inspiration for years of self-love once the real thing was gone.
“You didn’t...you watched them?” Rebel sputtered, his glance bouncing between Bear and me.
Bear laughed a deep, ringing laugh that had people looking our way. His lover, Ollie, picked that moment to sit beside Bear.
I patted Rebel’s cheek. “Of course I watched, and you were right—you are fucking awesome.” I laughed at the open surprise on his face.
“Isn’t it awesome at fucking?” JoJo threw in.
“You’ve got your share of movies, my man.” Bear’s announcement made JoJo blush.
“So Elle and I are the only pure ones, then?” Delta razzed his friend.
“Maybe.” Bear held up a finger. “Elle was deciding.” His intense gaze settled on me.
“Sorry, I’ll have to pass,” I told Bear with just a tiny bit of disappointment. After watching Rebel, my fantasy of us having sex in front of others only intensified, but business owners weren’t porn stars. It was already hard enough for me to earn the respect of the men who dominated my business without any extra baggage.
“But it’s not because it doesn’t interest you,” Bear pushed. “What do you fear?”
“She said no.” Rebel shot a death glare at Bear. One that said he was a second from following with fists.
Hands up, Bear tried to look contrite. It didn’t work. “I heard her, just curious. You know I like secrets.” His suggestive tone had Rebel out of his seat.
I put a hand on Rebel. “Please, it’s okay.” Rebel glanced from me to Bear before he sat down.
I leaned over to whisper in Rebel’s ear. “The idea excites me, but it isn’t a good business move.”
His lips closed on mine and the heat of his kiss burn
ed deep inside me. I loved the fire and wished I’d be destroyed by his flame.
“What’d you say?” I heard Bear repeat himself when Rebel broke our kiss.
I flashed him a grin. “Only Rebel can tell you that.”
“And that’s never happening.”
Rebel and the others laughed at the hang dog expression Bear wore like a costume. I’d never seen him show a single thought before now.
After another couple of hours, we left the party, gathering, I didn’t know what to call it. Today had a family vibe that hadn’t been part of the party I’d attended. The more I was around the Brotherhood the less I understood about them, and the more I wished I belonged. Maybe I didn’t want to be part of the club, but I longed for the uncompromising acceptance. I had no one who cared for me the way those guys did for each other. My dad had been my only family but we weren’t a family anymore and I doubted we ever would be again.
The people at Jackson Bonds might hate me after the way my family drama played out. I feared Tuesday, more fear built in me each hour that passed until I wanted to run the other way. Not that I would ever indulge my fears. Jacksons made our own luck. Jacksons kept our promises. Jacksons embraced our fears. I was a Jackson.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Elle
“Yeah,” I murmured in my dream. Lights shone down us, cameras followed our movements. Rebel kissed my mound and I arched up.
“That’s it, baby.” Then his mouth found my most sensitive spot, again. I blinked open my eyes when an intense burst of pleasure shot through me. I wasn’t dreaming.
Rebel’s rust-colored head rested between my thighs. I grasped his hair when he sent another spike of feeling through me. “Inside me, please.” I needed him atop me, close to me, consuming me one last time before I left.
He flicked his tongue over my nub and the orgasm crashed through me, leaving me breathless and wanting more. I needed all of him, not these tantalizing bits he doled out.
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