I closed my eyes and tried to find rage and only came up with hurt and loneliness and a desperate fear he’d leave me again.
Was I that pathetic?
“We need to talk.” He glanced down at his boots then met my stare.
I had to look away, move away or I’d jump him like the loser I apparently was. “Didn’t we say it all last week?” I booked it to the living room. I needed distance, but his scent lingered on me.
“Not even close.”
I sat in my recliner, not trusting myself to be on the same couch with him.
Rebel knelt at my feet then he grasped my hands in his, finally our eyes locked in a silent communion. “I love you, Elle. And I’m an idiot for hurting you.”
Elation swept through me before reality crashed down. This was a dream. If I was dreaming then I could excuse my lack of backbone. Besides, I’d only hear those words in one of my dreams. If he loved me, he’d have told me last week. Why put us both through the misery if he loved me?
“I have to be dreaming,” I mumbled, hoping saying the words would wake me up.
Rebel pinched the skin on my forearm.
“Ow.” I frowned down at him. “That hurt.”
He gave me his lopsided grin. “Baby, this isn’t a dream. I’m sorry for leaving you, I thought it was the only thing I could do. I promised, and I had to keep my promise.”
“What?” I struggled to find words. “Explain yourself in a way that makes sense.”
He looked away from me and for the first time I could think. It was impossible to think with his cinnamon eyes staring through me. Rebel was here. He loved me. How could he have hurt me if he loved me?
“I didn’t think I could keep you forever, so I let you go, even though I loved you.” He squeezed my hands. “To be mine forever I’d want you to be my old lady in the club, to be part of all my life.”
“And you thought I’d say no? I love... I mean loved you.” I shut my eyes trying to keep the tears from falling, but a tear slid down my cheek anyway.
“I promised you I wouldn’t take your company.” He met my gaze. “When you become part of the club, you become my property.”
The term still made me uncomfortable. “Mama and Marr explained that.”
He scowled deeper. “Did they explain, I own your company then, the Brotherhood can take part of your profits, then?”
“What the hell?” I pulled back from him. Outrage lit me up. “You bunch of pigs.”
“It’s the same for me, all of us in the club.” He stood and paced away from me. “You give up part of who you are to belong, that includes business. Normally it’s not a big thing, but for us, it’s a big fucking deal.” He ran fingers through his hair. “When you and I agreed to this marriage, I had no intention of falling for you like this, of loving you, so I thought your business would be safe.”
“And you would be safe,” I shot back, seeing exactly how it worked. He couldn’t get too close to me because I wouldn’t give up the business I was fighting for.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Rebel
“Yeah, that’s what I planned.” No use in denying it. She saw right through me. “But that didn’t work out for me because I love you.” Saying those words sill created a spike of fear in me. Everyone I’d ever loved had rejected me.
“So why are you here then?” She threw the words at me.
“Because my brothers had my back before I even knew I needed help.” I wasn’t making sense but everything inside me was jumbled into a huge mess. No matter what string I tugged, it turned into a giant tangle of emotion. Fuck, I hadn’t thought straight since I’d left her place last week. “Jericho and Dare had some lawyers working out a merger between our two businesses.”
“A what?” She stood up, hands on hips.
“A merger—basically if you agree—our two companies merge, each of us keeping our own identity or taking on your company name if you prefer. The Brotherhood provides the capital for our expansion and you and Jackson Bonds provides the experience to run such a complex operation.”
She opened her mouth and shut it. “So business was why you left me?” Hurt shadowed her words.
“I promised you I didn’t want your company, and I don’t, I want you. However, I come with strings, lots more strings than your daddy had for you.” I hated saying it, hated handing her the reason to send me packing.
“You didn’t think I’d give up my company—”
“It’d have only been a small percent, but goddammit, I keep my word.” I shouted the words, losing all my fucking cool. This woman meant more to me than my next breath but I wouldn’t ever take from her, let alone break my commitment.
“So you devastated me, killed my heart, to keep a fucking promise?”
Shit when she said it like that, I guess I’d fucked up, and I knew I was screwing up even as I walked out the door. I had no reason to expect understanding, let alone forgiveness.
“We’re a pair.” A sad laugh followed her words. “I pushed you out, pushed you to commit because I’d promised you...to let you go...once I had the company. If you didn’t love me too, then I refused to hold on to you, even though I knew I could.”
Son of a bitch. We were so much alike, maybe we weren’t meant to be together. Fuck that, she was mine, and I wasn’t leaving here until she agreed.
“We’re too much alike, maybe we’ll fight more because of it, but I can’t do life without you. Now that I know what it feels like to be with you, in you, to love you, I won’t settle for less.” Those honest words ripped me open and left me totally exposed, she could end me with a word.
She closed the distance to me, taking my hand in hers. “I guess we better figure out the details because I won’t settle for less, either. I love you.” She kissed me and I surrendered to her, unable to resist her for another second.
I lifted her tank to touch the soft skin I’d missed so much, moving up until I touched her tits. She moaned into my mouth and I needed to touch her, to claim her, to own her. We broke the kiss when I tugged off her top. She wiggled out of her shorts then her hands were on my fly. We stayed tangled together while I undressed, unable to stop touching, feeling the other one.
I picked her up and carried her to the couch, needing inside her right now. I ran a finger through her seam. “So ready for me, baby.”
“I love you.” She tugged my arms until I moved closer to her.
I kissed her. “I love you. You’re mine,” I spoke into her lips.
I leaned back, ready to thrust home when it hit me, no condom. “Baby, I need to get a condom.”
She held onto me when I tried to move. “I’m on the pill, don’t bother.”
I drove into her, needing to feel her around me. She was my home, my heart, my life. Each stroke brought me closer to her. Her sexy noises increased and she rocked up into me faster and faster. Elle was finally mine. I’d never let her go again.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Elle
Rebel loved me, wanted me, even more he needed me. I was never letting go. I wrapped my legs around him and abandoned all attempts of control, letting him possess me in every way. We connected, fused together perfectly.
I tensed and the familiar quake pushed me closer, took me higher, until I had no choice but to fall. The sweet release of my body was nothing compared to the way my soul soared. “I love you,” I chanted, his gaze locked with mine.
“Mine.” He grunted and drove into me hard and fast until he shuddered and came undone. Panting in my ear, he whispered, “I love you, baby, now and forever.”
My world was right again. I held tight to him not wanting to ever let him go, needing to feel this closeness between us again. Our relationship scared me, the future and his club frightened me more, but nothing would ever keep me from
his side because not being with him wasn’t an option. I’d straighten out all my worries so our relationship was rock solid, one strong enough to last a lifetime.
I kissed his cheek and held him tighter. Was his touch sweeter because I knew how miserable I was without it? Maybe. Or maybe that was bullshit.
We spent the rest of the weekend at my place, and the only time we left my bed was for food. I’d read through the merger agreement twice and it looked solid. Monday, Rebel and I would start the process to bring our businesses together. The deal was more than fair and allowed both of us to grow faster together.
I rode to work Monday morning on the back of Rebel’s bike. It was a perfect way to start my morning. Alice didn’t even blink when Rebel accompanied me into my office.
“Alice, make five copies of this document, for your eyes only. Get Chet in here as soon as possible and schedule a meeting with our attorney today.” I gave her the merger document. Her eyes widened when she read the first paragraph, but she hustled away.
Less than fifteen minutes later, Alice buzzed again. “Chet’s here.”
“Send him in.” I glanced at Rebel and the nervousness in my stomach evaporated.
“We got this.” He smiled wide.
Chet walked in. “Who are you?” He frowned at Rebel. Disapproval clear on his face.
“Rebel, this is Chet, I want you to read this here, then we’ll all talk.” I handed him the merger paperwork and turned back to my computer. I was typing up a summary of the key points of the merger for when we were ready to share it with other members of the staff.
“You can’t be serious?” Chet looked over at me less than five minutes after he started reading. “We can’t do business with bikers.”
“Why not?” Rebel shot back.
“Elle, we need to talk in private.” Chet glanced from me to Rebel and back again.
“No, we don’t. Say what you think.” I had no idea what he was so worked up about.
“They’re bikers, a gang.” He emphasized the words. “Besides we’d be foolish to announce our strategy to the other side.”
“What other side?” I joined him and Rebel at my table. “This isn’t hostile, we aren’t negotiating. Of course, we’ll have our attorneys make sure that all the numbers are supported by their books, and complete all the other due diligence, but we aren’t bargaining.”
“Why not?” Chet gritted his teeth.
“If you read it, you’d see it’s very fair, and it accomplishes both our business goals.” I worked to keep the irritation out of my voice. Chet had barely made it through the first page and had an attitude.
“Just say it, Chet.” Rebel drew out each word.
“Do you know what his problem is?” I turned to Rebel.
Anger darkened his face.
“We’re not doing this.” Chet slid the agreement to me. “We aren’t taking dirty money because you want to grow too damn fast.”
“What did you say?” I turned to Chet. “Think carefully.”
“His vest says 1 percent, the definition of illegal. It’s obvious they’re using us to launder their dirty money. Surely you’re not so gullible.” Chet’s face turned red.
“Actually it denotes a lifestyle where the club is first, among other things.” Rebel gave Chet a cold smile.
“Chet, the lawyers will confirm the money is legitimate but I already know it is.” I was disappointed in my CFO’s prejudice, unfortunately I wasn’t surprised.
“Really? How is that?” Chet sneered.
“This is my husband. And he gave me his word the club is legal.”
Chet’s eyes bulged. “You married him?”
This was going from bad to worse. I didn’t want to go through a merger with a new CFO but that was looking more and more likely.
Disapproval lined Rebel’s face but he didn’t say anything. This was my situation to handle.
“I did and we’re merging our bail bonds businesses. Is that a problem for you?” I clasped my hands in front of me.
“I don’t know.” Chet deflated. “This is unexpected. You’ll be using our law firm?”
“Of course, both our firm and the Brotherhood’s firm will be executing the merger. Rebel and I will be implementing it. The question is whether you’ll be part of that team.” I gave him my full attention, hoping he saw how serious I was.
“I will, uh, whatever the law firm says is good by me.” Chet gulped. “I’m sorry to both of you for jumping to conclusions.” He met both my and Rebel’s gaze when he apologized.
“Glad to hear it.” I nodded to him. “I’ll send you a note with the time of our meeting with the attorneys.”
Chet stood up.
“You, Alice, Rebel and I know about this. Make sure it stays that way.” I dismissed him.
Once the door closed, Rebel appraised me, his eyebrow arching up. “Damn you’re hot.”
“You like a bossy woman?”
“I love you.” He kissed me. “But I don’t like that guy.”
“He didn’t like you either, we’ll see if he improves.”
Rebel glared at the closed door. “He doesn’t get a second shot. No one bad mouths my club.”
“I know and I agree, he is a word away from being fired.”
The meeting with the lawyers went much better than the one with Chet, or at least they had poker faces worthy of their large hourly rates. We would get a schedule for the merger next week, with a rough estimate of six weeks before we’d be ready to execute. Of course that was after Rebel negotiated from 16 weeks to six weeks, agreeing to pay the extra fees to expedite the process.
The next couple weeks passed quickly between merger tasks and splitting my time between Dallas and Ardmore. We stayed close to each other, not going more than a night apart before we figured out a way to be together again.
I’d called my dad and made plans to go to his place for dinner tomorrow night, the nervous tension grew inside me until I couldn’t stay still. I’d tried reading, watching TV and working, but nothing distracted me.
“You going to tell me the problem?” Rebel leaned against the doorway into the kitchen.
I had out all my plastic storage containers, reorganizing them. “Nothing big. I’m seeing my daddy tomorrow and it has me messed up inside.”
“That’s big.” Rebel strolled over to the counter, watching me match lids and restack my leftover containers.
I shrugged. “It’s time. Past time, actually.”
“You need to clear the air, see what’s left then.” He had that distant stare I sometimes saw.
I wondered if he was thinking about his own parents. They were fools to turn away from him, and I know it still bothered him.
I put the last of my bowls back and stood up with the few lost lids I’d found. Tossing them in the trash, I moved to Rebel and wrapped him in a tight hug.
“You want me to go with you?” He spoke low in my ear.
I’d scheduled it for Thursday night because he usually wasn’t here. I hadn’t wanted to pressure him to go, but now that he’d asked me, I wanted nothing more than for him to be by my side.
“You have business tomorrow in Barden.” I bit my lip.
“I can cancel that, baby. Do you want me to go?”
“Yeah, would you?”
He chuckled and squeezed me tight. “Anything for you, baby.”
* * *
We pulled into Daddy’s ranch house on the edge of Dallas, the same house where I’d grown up. My ulcers sent mini-volcanos of acid shooting pain through my stomach. Rebel parked his bike beside my dad’s truck. I slid off the bike and wiped my sweaty palms on my denim shorts.
He clasped my hand in his. “We got this.”
“Yeah.” While only three months had passed since Daddy
issued the challenge, the distance between us was huge, or maybe just one hug away. I’d ridden the emotional roller coaster from hell all day, but right now it felt like I was on the biggest precipice of all. We walked up the short walk to the front door. Daddy threw open the door before I reached his front step.
“Sugar dumpling, it’s about damn time.” He threw his arms wide and I walked into them. He crushed me in his embrace and I was home. My father was a huge man, over six foot and built like a linebacker, well an old linebacker, but I loved hugging his big frame. He made me feel safe, loved.
I stepped back. “Daddy, I’m sorry.”
“Me too, honey, so damn sorry I caused you so much grief.” His blue eyes were sad. “Now no more apologies, introduce me to your man.” He nodded to Rebel.
“Daddy, this is my husband, Rebel, he’s part of the Jericho Brotherhood.”
“Nice to meet you, sir. Gus has told me stories about you.” Rebel held a hand out but Daddy just folded him into a back-slapping hug.
“Don’t believe a damn word that old coot says.” Daddy grinned wide at the two of us. “Come on out back. I’ve got the grill started and Doris is here.”
“What about Megan?”
“We divorced in April.” Daddy grunted. “It wasn’t meant to be.”
That’s all he’d ever said about any of the women who had left his life. In fact, I’d never heard him speak ill of any woman and very few men. He was more of an action kind of guy, a lot like my own man.
“So tell me, how’d you work it all out?” Daddy opened the screen door to his back deck. Doris sat with her feet up with a beer in her hand.
“Doris, I’m glad to see you.” We hugged. I hated how we’d left things after our last conversation.
“That was my fault, sir.” Rebel cleared his throat.
“Stop callin’ me sir, it’s Jack or Dad, pick your poison.” Daddy grasped Doris’s hand and brought it to his lips for a quick kiss.
“When? Are you two...?”
Doris cackled. “Since he isn’t my boss anymore, I asked the idiot out. He’s hopeless when it comes to women.”
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