by Sharlay
“You didn’t,” I said as I began laughing again.
“Oh, believe me, I did. So, you spoke to Caleb yet?”
“No, he just came to the hospital, looked at me as though I was the predator and then ran back out,” I said as Courtney struggled to hold back her laughter.
“I talked to him-”
“What did you say?” I asked, curiously.
“I explained that you were going to see Blake, to tell him that you didn’t want to date him. I also told him that you were in love with him but wasn’t ready to-”
“What!”
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I didn’t really say the in love bit, I just said that the two of you need to sort things out,” she said, seriously.
“I doubt that, that’s going to happen now,” I said, sadly as I thought about how Caleb ran out of the hospital yesterday.
“Just give him some time, ok?”
“Yeah,” I replied, “do you mind just leaving me alone for a minute,” I asked, gently as I held back the tears.
“Yeah, sure, Mom and Cale are out so I’ll be upstairs if you need me, ok?” She said, sympathetically as she stood to her feet.
“Ok, and Court?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for everything.”
“Anytime, Cutie Pie,” she said in a soft voice before walking out and leaving me alone.
I knew that Courtney was just trying to help but she didn’t understand Caleb like I did. He wasn’t going to come to me; if I wanted to talk to him then I had to do something about it. I picked my phone back up and went straight to my contacts. I chuckled to myself as my finger hovered over the word sexy before finally pressing send, and putting the phone to my ear. It rang four times before he picked up, without saying a word.
“Caleb, don’t hang up. Listen, I need to talk to you,” I waited for a response but he remained silent. “If you’re not going to come here and talk to me then I’m going to walk there-”
“No you’re not,” he demanded as a smile slipped on to my face.
“The choice is yours, I’m leaving now,” I said before hanging up the phone and preparing to see my threat through. I didn’t bother getting changed into my clothes; instead, I just picked my jacket up off the side and slipped it on which was a hard task when balancing crutches as well. It took me a little while to open my bedroom door but I managed it.
Just as my hand touched the handle on the front door, I was stopped in my tracks.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Courtney asked in an angry voice.
“I’ve got to go and see Caleb,” I mumbled as I continued to twist the handle.
“Are you crazy, you can’t even walk, you can’t go-”
“I have to, ok!” I shouted much louder than I knew that I could.
“Ok, but you better be back by 11!” She shouted after me as she watched me walk down her path. I chuckled to myself as I thought about how much she sounded like my dad. Just as I got to the bottom of Courtney’s drive, I was blinded by the lights of a truck that I used to hate seeing. I turned back around to see Courtney winking at me before closing the door and leaving me alone to face the next drama in my life.
“What the hell are you doing?” Caleb asked as he slammed out of his truck, angrily.
“I told you that I needed to talk to you,” I replied in frustration as I tried to move closer to where he was stood.
“You need to go back inside.”
“Not until you talk to me.”
“Addy, this isn’t the time-”
“So when is going to be the right time? When are you going to stop running, Caleb?” I asked, angrily.
“Just stop. You need to go back in,” he said through gritted teeth.
“No,” I said as I stood my ground.
“Then stay out here, it’s not my problem,” he said as he stormed back towards his truck.
“Not your problem!” I screamed.
“No!” He shouted equally as loud. I watched the stunned look on his face as I took one of my crutches, and threw it as hard as I could, towards him. He managed to dodge it. Of course, if I was a little stronger and not the recent victim of a car crash then it would have hit him.
“Are you crazy?” He said, angrily as he span around to face me.
“Maybe, but at least I don’t run away because I’m too scared to face the truth-”
“Run away!”
“Yes, run away! You ran away when your mom died, and you’re running away now, when are you doing to grow up and just face your problems-”
“What the hell do you know about my mom?” He said as he stormed back towards me so that our faces were inches apart.
“Enough to know that you think that if you just pretend that it didn’t happen then it will all go away, but it doesn’t go away, it doesn’t matter how far you run-”
“You know nothing about my mom or me. You think that I’m running, I’m not running I live with that image every single day of my life, you know nothing-”
“Then what the hell are you so afraid of!” I screamed, almost causing myself to choke. “What! What is it-”
“I don’t want to hurt you! Ok! I don’t want to hurt you, just like I did with her. Don’t you understand, everything that I touch gets hurt, everything!” He shouted, causing us both to stand there in silence just staring at each other. I could see the speed that our chests were moving up and down. I could feel the burn of the tears that were threatening to escape my eyes. I could see that for the first time since I had met Caleb, he had finally got rid of the act. For the first time, he was stood in front of me as just him.
“You won’t hurt me,” I whispered, slowly as I wiped the tear that had rolled down his cheek. He stared at me for a second before taking a deep breath.
“You don’t get it-”
“Then explain it to me,” I said, gently.
He paused for a moment as though he was contemplating whether or not he should tell me. “I killed her, she died because of me,” I wanted to ask what he meant but I knew that if I spoke now, then he may never tell me everything that I needed to know. I remained silent, with one leg in the air. “She begged me to stay away from the people that I was with but I ignored her. I thought that they were my family, my brothers. They made me feel accepted and invincible, like nobody could touch me. It was fun at first: the drinking, the parties, all of it, until things started to change. It wasn’t until we started beating up people, robbing from old ladies that I realized that it wasn’t me, none of it was me. It was easy for me to walk away, they were my brothers. I knew that they’d understand or at least I thought that they would. They said that it was ok but they still did it...”
“Did what?” I whispered as I watched him trying to keep his voice steady.
“They were the ones that set my house on fire, my friends; my brothers. They said that they’d always be there, that they’d never let anyone hurt me but it was them that hurt me. They said that nobody walks away from them and gets away with it. She was still inside when...we were at a party and she was trapped inside of there, burning because of-”
“Don’t,” I said as I felt the tears begin to roll down my cheeks.
“I’m no good, Addy,” he said as more tears spilled down his cheeks, and he tried to hide his face.
“That’s not true. It wasn’t your fault. You tried to do the right thing-”
“And it cost her, her life.”
“I understand how you feel, I get it, ok. I spent years blaming myself for my mom but you know what, it wasn’t my fault and it’s not yours either. Sometimes things just happen, and we don’t understand why, but God does. Your mom would have been so proud of you for being strong enough to walk away, do you get that,” I said as I lifted his face up so that I could look into his eyes.
“It’s not the same-”
“It is, she loved you so much, and she wouldn’t want you to live like this-”
“No, it’s not right, all the th
ings that I said to you, and then the crash. It’s the same, every time that I’m near something it gets destroy-”
I cut him off by pressing my lips against his. He hesitated at first but then he kissed me back. I could feel every emotion and every bit of pain in that kiss. It was as though he was communicating everything that he had ever wanted to say. I felt his hand slip around my waist as he pulled me towards him; I had to hop of course. Just as I began to get lost in the kiss, he gently pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. He looked into my eyes for a few seconds before reaching up and wiping the tears from my face.
“It’s going to be ok,” I whispered as I kept my eyes on him.
“I’m sorry but I can’t,” was the last thing that he said to me before walking back to his car and driving off. I stood there and cried my heart out as I watched him drive away. The craziest thing was that I wasn’t crying because he left me, I was crying because he hated himself so much. He hated himself, and I had no idea how to help him even though, I once knew exactly how he felt.
“Hey,” I heard a voice say before I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. “It’s ok,” Courtney said as I fell into her arms and let out everything. “It’s going to be ok.”
CHAPTER 21
Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder...
2 WEEKS LATER
It had been two weeks since Caleb and I had spoken, and that was also the last time that I had seen him. By the time that I had returned home from Courtney’s, Bill and Caleb had already moved into their new place. It hurt that Caleb didn’t even say goodbye but I knew that he had his reasons. I just hope that he can find the peace that I have someday.
My foot was back to normal, and the crutches were gone which made me happy. I managed to finally re-take the test that Mrs Connerlay set for us, and I passed with the highest grade in my class. With everything that had happened, I wasn’t going to participate in the writing competition; however, Mrs Connerlay said that it had been extended for an extra two months, due to the popularity. I still didn’t have an idea what I was going to write about but I knew that I’d figure it out.
I also met up with Blake which was slightly awkward since he was convinced that he nearly killed me. Once he got past that, we were able to agree on being friends.
The best thing that has happened in the past two weeks is that I got to meet the guy that pulled me out of the car. His name was Yanko, he was originally from Hungary but moved to America shortly after his wife fell pregnant with their fifth son. Yes, I said fifth, they really have five boys and guess what? She’s pregnant again, with a boy! They are really great people though, and they welcomed me into their home like I was family.
So, the past few weeks have been good. I still wish that things had turned out differently between me and Caleb but I guess that’s just life. Sometimes people come into your life to make you change for the better. Even Courtney pointed out that since Caleb had been around, I had actually become less violent – eventually - and get this; I haven’t had to put a quarter in the jar for a whole two weeks. How freaking great is that...whoops. Don’t look at me like that, I went cold turkey for two weeks, you can’t expect perfection people. Anyway, the point is that things have changed for the better. The accident made me appreciate the little things in life. Like the fact that even though my best friend won’t shut up right now, I’m lucky to have her-
“Are you even listening to me?” Courtney growled as she sat there staring at me.
“Erm, yeah,” I said as I put a big smile on my face.
“Then what did I just say?” She said as she began tapping her nails on the window, for effect.
“Firstly, get your grubby paws off my window and secondly, do you know how hard it is to concentrate on driving, and you at the same time?”
“I knew it, you weren’t listening,” she said as she turned to face the window and ‘sulk’.
“Aww come, Cutie Pie, don’t be like that,” I said as I chuckled to myself.
“That’s my name for you, and I’m going to find a new best friend and give it to them, one that listens to me.”
“Oh please, like you could ever find a replacement for me,” I said as I raised my eyebrows at her.
“I could, I’ll just put an ad in the paper. Medium height, long, dark brown hair and a fat butt-”
“My butt is not fat.”
“Yeah, I know but if I’m planning to replace you then I want them to have a bigger butt then me, so that they can’t tease me, like you do,” she said as she stuck her tongue out at me.
“So mature,” I said as I giggled to myself.
“Whatever.”
“Fine, then if I’m not your best friend anymore, I guess that I won’t be staying at your house tonig-”
“No, no, no, I take it back, you’re the bestest friend in the whole wide world,” she said, quickly as she fluttered her eyelashes at me.
“Firstly, there is no such word as bestest-”
“When are you going to understand that I don’t follow the rules of the dictionary? I make up my own,” she said with a huge smirk on her face.
“Yeah, I’m slowly beginning to understand,” I mumbled as I pulled up in front of her house.
“Anyway,” she started as we both stepped outside of the car, “I was saying, that I told Cory that we could meet up tomorrow-”
“Really? So, you finally gave in?” I said with a smile on my face.
“Of course not.”
“I’m not sure that I follow.”
“I told him that we could meet up tomorrow but I am not really going-”
“Court, you can’t do that-”
“Watch me,” she replied with an evil grin on her face.
“So, you’re just going to leave him there on his own?”
“Yup, pretty much.”
“You’ve spent way too much time with me over the years.”
“I know, I never thought that it would come in handy. Anyway, I’ll stop making him suffer next week but right now he needs to learn the rest of his lesson before I can take him back,” she said as she grabbed us a couple of cans of soda.
“Yeah, well don’t go too far, remember what happened to me,” I said as I raised my eyebrows at her.
“Yeah, yeah, Grandma, are you coming?” She said as she walked towards the stairs.
“If it isn’t my favorite girl,” Cale said as he walked towards us.
“Oh great, I’m just going to head upstairs to call Disney and let them know that the beast has escaped,” Courtney said before disappearing up the stairs.
“You know, you need to try Addy’s new attitude, yours stinks,” Cale shouted behind her.
“Aww, your right, it’s because I’ve been trying out something new,” I said as I took a few steps towards him, never breaking eye contact.
“Something new?” He asked.
“Mmm hmm, want me to tell you about it?” I said as I put my hand on his shoulder and whispered in his ear.
“Yeah-”
He was cut off as my knee made contact with his most precious jewel, causing him to scream before falling on the floor.
“That...was...uncalled...for,” he said as he squirmed in pain on the floor.
“Bad knee,” I said as I slapped my knee, “the old Addy just constantly keeps fighting to get out, sorry,” I said in my fake ‘girly’ voice before heading towards Courtney’s room.
“Do I even want to know what all of the screaming was about?” She asked as I entered the room.
“It depends on how badly you want nieces and nephews,” I said with a smile on my face.
“It’s ok, I don’t want to know,” she said as I jumped onto her bed.
“Right, now tell me this whole story about you and Cory,” I said as I smiled at her.
“Are you actually going to listen this time?” She asked as she raised her eyebrows at me.
“Yes,” I replied as I chuckled to myself.
“Ok, then I’ll start right at the
beginning.”
“Great.”
“Sssh!”
* * *
After sitting through two whole hours of Courtney’s story, I felt like I had enough information to produce a Hollywood movie. Courtney’s mom came home eventually and gave us a mini cooking lesson before we all sat down to eat. Even Cale joined us although he was very quiet and kept glaring at me which caused me to keep laughing.
It wasn’t until seven that my dad sent me a text, saying that he needed me to come straight home, and that it was important. I have to admit that it did make me panic a little since he knew that I was supposed to be staying at Courtney’s. I tried to call him a couple of times but he didn’t pick up which caused me to worry even more.
“Just let me know that everything is ok, when you can,” Courtney said as she stood next to my car.
“I will,” I replied before driving towards my house.
I tried not to expect the worse or let any crazy thoughts enter my head, so I just turned up the radio and drove in silence. When I arrived home, I jumped out of the car as fast as I could and raced towards the door. I was really confused when I saw a basket sat outside of my front door. I looked up at my house and there wasn’t a single light on which was very strange. My eyes fell back on the basket, and that’s when I noticed that there was a folded piece of paper inside. I slowly bent down and picked up the paper before unfolding it. I opened it to reveal a sentence:
You’ll need this for the journey...
I had no idea what was going on and neither did it make the slightest bit of sense. Without even thinking, I picked up the basket and put my key into the lock and opened the door. My fingers felt for the light before I pressed it, causing it to light up the front room. I suddenly, spotted several white boxes on the floor.
“Dad?” I called but there was no answer. This reminded me of those scenes in the horror movies when you are shouting at the character not to walk in but they do anyway. I was that character; the stupid one. I gently pushed the front door in and picked up the first white box which had a piece of paper, folded on top of it. I opened up the piece of paper and read the words out loud.
