by BA Tortuga
“No, now.” Her face got all red.
“Hey. I know, but you were really hurt. So hurt you scared me really bad. The doctors get the final say.” He kept his voice calm.
“You’re the daddy!”
“I am, and it’s my job to keep you safe as I can.”
Her lower lip pooched out. “But—”
He stared. He didn’t say another word; he just stared.
“I hate you.”
He snorted. “Liar. You hate being stuck in bed.”
“I do.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “Why do I have to be hurted?” She sounded like Courtney more than her twelve-year-old self. The more upset she got, the more words she lost.
“Breathe, chica.” He sat on the end of the bed, holding her gaze. “Sometimes cowboys take a fall, right? What counts is that we get back up, brush off the sand, and get in the saddle.”
“Right. Like when Uncle Ap falled and broke his… his….”
“Collarbone,” he offered.
“When Uncle Ap broke his collarbone and still rode.”
“That’s right. You get up and you ride. That’s the cowboy way.”
“What else is the cowboy way?”
He grinned. How many times had they talked about this? “A cowboy lives each day honest and brave. A cowboy always does his best. A cowboy keeps his promises, always. A cowboy stands up for what is right and good. A cowboy is tough and fair. And more than anything, a cowboy loves his family, his animals, his land, and his God.”
“You’re a cowboy too, Uncle Daddy. I don’t hate you. Am I going to get to walk again today?”
“I sure hope so.” They wanted her moving, but the physical therapists wanted to be there with her still. “You’ve been trying so hard. Uncle Ap is coming to visit you.” He leaned close. “I need to go home and have a shower. I smell like a gorilla!”
She squealed, just as likely to be overly amused as overly angry. “I like gorillas. But I love Uncle Ap too. Can he bring a game?”
“I’ll tell him.” He whipped out his phone to text: Bring the Sorry game.
On it.
“He’s on it. Have you thought about what you want to eat for lunch today?”
“Can I have a sandwich?”
“Of course you can.” Whew. Breakfast had been… plate tossing.
“With tuna fish?”
“Oh, the tuna fish here is very good. I like mine with pickles.”
“I like pickles and lettuce.”
“Fries or carrots?”
“Fries with ketchup?” He loved that he got a smile.
“Yes, ma’am. Shall I call?”
“Please?” She didn’t bounce, exactly, but it was a close thing.
“You want milk? Orange juice? Apple juice?” He lowered his voice. “Want to share a Sprite?”
“Oh….” She almost looked like a cartoon kid, her eyes wide. “Yes.”
“Rock on. Don’t tell Uncle Ap, ’kay?”
“I swear.”
He called for lunch, adding some apple slices and peanut butter for him. At least this place had decent food, and he could afford it.
By the time lunch was done, Ap showed up with the Sorry! game, a huge stuffed rhinoceros, and the Uno cards.
“You’re loaded for bear.”
“I’m the fun uncle.”
He would have swatted Ap if the man hadn’t been laughing.
“Uncle Ap, I want to go home.”
“I know, baby girl.” Ap sat on the bed with her. “I need a kiss.”
She leaned forward carefully and kissed him. “I did it this time.”
“You did!” Ap rubbed her arm gently. Big hugs were discouraged until her head healed. “Have you had a good day?”
“I had a bad morning, but I ate tuna fish for lunch and I want my walk soon.”
“Oh cool. Then we can nap and maybe play a game after. You know Uncle Daddy is going to spend the night at home, right? You’re stuck with me.” Ap looked a little worried, which he knew would make Bella jump to his defense.
“We can talk about my barrel horse. We’re not naming him Roland.”
“Okay. I knew you heard us.” Ap winked at Trey. “You can’t name him Trigger either.”
“What if she’s a girl? Is that mine? Can I hold her?”
“You can.” Ap handed over the toy before coming to kiss him. “Mmm, tuna.”
“Yes. Hey, stranger. How’s things?”
“The kids are better now that they know she’s awake and in there.” Ap smiled. “There’s enough food at the house for ten families.”
“Tamales?” He could murder a few dozen tamales.
“Red pork and green chicken. I asked Dolores for black bean and goat cheese like I had in Austin, and she hit me.”
“Yeah, you have to watch that hipster shit.”
“Uncle Daddy! You curseded.” Bella was bouncing her rhino gently.
“I owe you a dollar.” He had to grin. She was getting better, day by day.
Ap winked at him, beaming, and he could see the relief in Ap’s eyes. “All that food and I still forgot to eat. Y’all mind if I have my Subway?” Ap had another bag tucked back.
He inhaled. Ah, spicy Italian. He knew it well.
“Go for it.” He started gathering his things so he could do some laundry when he got home.
“Cool.” Ap pulled out his sandwich. “So, did you share a Sprite?”
Bella went wide-eyed. “Would we do that?”
“Uh-huh. You would, and you would both try to hide it. That just means cookie after nap and not now.”
Yeah, they had to watch her sugar.
Trey winked over at his girl, and she grinned wide, happy to play along. That was what he wanted to see.
“Okay, Bella. You have a good afternoon, okay? I’ll be back tomorrow.”
She nodded, her smile fading only a little. “Will the other kids ever come see me?”
“Yes. We’re coming Saturday. The whole crew.”
“Okay.” She brightened right up again.
“Courtney is all jealous. She found out you get room service.” Ap worked on his sandwich. “I got this, baby. Go on.”
“You be good, okay? Walk with Janet. I’m ready for you to come home.”
“I am too. Love you, Uncle Daddy.” She made her rhino wave.
“Love you, baby girl. Love you, Ap. I’ll call in a bit.” It took everything he had to leave, but he did. He needed a nap, a shower, a real shave, and to hold his other babies and hear about their days.
Then he would spell Ap, assuming he made it through the night.
THEY sang. Bella walked. They both napped. One round of Sorry! before dinner came, and now Bella was sound asleep while he watched Food Network. It was a lot like being in a hotel.
Ap finally felt like he could breathe. This he knew; this he’d done. He’d sat in a thousand hospitals with a zillion cowboys, watching them come back.
God help him, he never wanted it to be his kids again.
Ever. He wanted them all to be safe forever.
He knew better, but still, he could wish.
His phone rang, Cole’s number showing. Panic hit him hard, and he answered, praying he hadn’t jinxed them. “What’s up, son?”
“Hey. Uncle Daddy went to sleep on the sofa at like, five. I fed everybody, and they’re in bed, but… do I wake him up?”
“Yeah. Wake him up, make him eat something, and send him to bed.” He breathed, which was nice, because he was a little light-headed with relief.
“Okay. How’s Bella?”
“She’s kind of amazing. She’s sleeping right now, which is good. She had a busy day. How’s all of you?”
“Okay. Busy. There’s all the end-of-year stuff. We need to decorate for Christmas, you know? The kids are asking if we’re going to.”
“We totally are. If we have to, Uncle Daddy can do the inside stuff with you guys, and I can come do the outside.” He sighed. God, he hoped Bella could be home. He
knew she wanted that more than anything.
So did he. So did Trey.
Shit, he wanted him and Trey to sleep in the same damn bed.
“That’s cool. Is she going to be home by Christmas?”
“I hope so, kiddo. I mean, her skull is a mess, but her brain is pretty intact.” Thank God. He hadn’t been a real Catholic in a long time, but he crossed himself.
“Is she bald?”
“Just a spot. It’ll grow out before school starts.”
“I’ll have to tease her, though.” Cole sounded relieved more than anything.
“Yeah. Hey, have I said thank you for everything you’ve done, kiddo? I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m just….” Cole sighed. “I’m ready to get out of here, you know? Two more years.”
“I know. Don’t rush it, man. It will come.” God, Cole was so teenager, ready to run.
“You sound like Uncle Daddy. I’m not going to get stuck here, though. I’m going to get out.”
“Okay. Just promise you’ll come visit. We love you.”
“Sure. This is home, huh? You know that. You get to travel.” Cole sounded so young, so much like Trey back in the beginning.
Back in the beginning. Shit. Trey was only twelve years older than Cole, not thirty.
“I do. I miss it every day. Give it time, and if you decide to go, you do.” Cole would go to college, if nothing else.
“Eh, I can’t leave Uncle Daddy right now, man. By the time I head to college, Braden will be driving and can help with the girls. I’m going to warm up some enchilada casserole and feed him. You’re all good?”
“I’m all good.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you too, kiddo.” He hung up, then took a deep, deep breath.
Christ, his head hurt.
The door opened, and the night nurse poked her head in. “She’s okay?”
“She’s fine.”
“Okay. Holler if you need us.” The nurse popped back out.
“Are you crying, Uncle Ap?” Bella’s voice was sleepy. “Do you want my rhinoserious?”
“I’m not.” He scooted over, took her hand. “How are you? Hurting?”
“Uh-uh. I want to go home to my bed and Courtney.”
“Yeah? Not Amelia?”
“No, she would just cry a lot.”
He laughed. “What about Braden?”
She pouted. “I’m mad at him.”
“Why?”
“I… I don’t know. I can’t remember.”
“Oh.” He moved from the couch to sit on the bed. “Well, you’ll get over it, I bet.”
“Uh-huh.” She held on to him. “When I grow up, I’m going to be a cowboy like you.”
“You’re a cowboy now, baby girl. I couldn’t be more proud. Now, you’ll have to think twice about doctoring a horse that needs a vet or a farrier, but you’re a cowboy.”
“Yeah. Yeah. No more of that. Uncle Daddy says I’ll have to wear a helmet when I ride for a while.”
“Yep. And when you do anything else that might endanger your little noggin.” He hugged her. Screw the advice from the docs. He wasn’t gonna squeeze her head.
“Do I have to wear it to school? The kids will tease me.”
“I don’t know, kiddo. The doctors will tell us. But if you do, you just tell those kids you almost died. Then you’ll be amazing.”
“Uncle Daddy said I was in an ambulance, with sirens and everything. I wish I could remember that part.”
“You were hurt.” He had to smile at her wanting to know all the details.
“Yeah.” She blinked slowly. “But I’m going to be home soon.”
“You so will. Especially if you keep doing as good at therapy as today.” He eased her back down on her pillows. “You’re so brave.”
“I’m a cowboy like you and Uncle Daddy. We’re brave.”
“We are.” Except when they were terrified.
Except when their babies were hurt. Or when they lost their entire families in one fell swoop.
Ap closed his eyes, sending up a little prayer. No more of that, please.
In fact, just goodness, from now on. Only goodness. It was coming up on Christmas, after all.
Chapter Twenty-One
“UNCLE Daddy! When are they coming?”
Jesus fucking Christ. Why did they tell you they were going to let you go and take thirty hours to do it?
“Soon, I’m sure, baby girl. Patience.”
“I’m tired of being good.”
“I can tell.” He gave her the dad look.
She began to tear up. “You’re always mad at me! You’re always grumpy!”
“Hey! No yelling, huh?” Ap came in from the hallway. “They have her discharge papers. They’re coming in a few.”
“With a wheelchair?” Bella asked.
“Yes. They said it was a special one.” Ap looked at him, smiling a little. “You okay?”
“Yes.” They’d had a huge meltdown yesterday during the PICC line removal, and that had caused a bit of a panic when Bella started throwing up. Today, he just wanted to go home.
“Cool. We’re almost there, huh? Don’t lose faith now.”
Trey wasn’t sure if Ap was talking to him or Bella.
Hell, he wasn’t sure it mattered.
“Everyone’s going to miss you here, Bella. All the nurses and doctors.” See him, see him be positive.
“Uh-huh.” She was still damp around the eyes and pouty at the lips. “I didn’t do it on purpose, Uncle Daddy.”
“No one ever once said you did, girl.”
“But you’re so mad!”
“No, he’s tired.” Ap went to hug her. “Down in his bones. We’re going to take him home and put him to bed.”
“Who will take care of us?”
“Me!” Ap looked comically shocked.
“Oh, but you’re still an amateur.” She giggled.
“An ama…. Did you hear this?”
Trey began to laugh, tickled to death.
They all hooted, and the guy finally came with a wheelchair, and it was bright and covered in pink glitter.
“Oh, ride in style!”
“Oh wow. Wow.” Bella’s eyes went wide.
“I’ll go get the truck, Trey.”
“Okay, you need to put on your helmet, baby girl.” He wasn’t going to take any chuff about this.
Her face screwed up, but she sighed before letting him slip it over her head. “I feel like Cole at a game.”
“Oh, I like it. We have to protect your head for the next few weeks.” Possibly longer. Whatever. “The important part is that you’ll be home, right?”
“I will.” She got all determined-sounding. “I won’t do anything to make it scary, I swear.”
He went for honesty. “Honey, just driving you home scares me.” Trey grinned at her.
“Yeah, I bet Uncle Ap will drive.”
“I bet he will.” He grabbed her bag and his laptop case. “Tallyho!”
“On Dancer, on Prancer!” Bella laughed and pointed to the door.
“On Gonzales and Enrique!” He got it. He wanted to go home.
The nurse tech snorted. “I’m José.”
“On José!” He grinned over, and they all three cracked up. They headed down the elevator, to the big lobby. The truck was there, humming in the cold, waiting for them.
Ap hopped out to come around and open the back passenger door. “There she is.”
“Yep. Time to head home.” He could cry with relief. Ap had the entire back seat loaded with comforters and pillows, to pad her in all directions.
“I’ll drive, baby.” Ap gave him a sweet smile.
“Works for me. The kids excited?” It would be around five thirty by the time they made it home, so they’d need to stop and pick up McDonald’s or something.
He would bet Bella would love Mickey D’s after all those tuna and chicken sandwiches.
“They are. Even Cole is staying home aft
er work.” Ap made sure Trey was in before hopping back in the truck.
He looked back at Bella. “You okay?”
“Mmm-hmm.” She was already half asleep.
He reached out to touch Ap’s arm as soon as they pulled out of the chaos. “Home, James.”
“You know it. I’m gonna cut across on University. There was an accident on 25.”
“God, just what we need.” He turned on the radio and leaned back, his eyes feeling like they were filled with grit.
Ap hummed along with the radio, and Trey was reminded that 90 percent of Ap’s job was driving.
He wanted to say so many things, but he didn’t want to talk. He wanted to just… be.
Ap patted his thigh. “Put your head back and rest, baby. I’ll get you home.”
“I believe in you. I feel like… I’m fixin’ to shatter a little.”
“I know.” Ap did know; of that he was damn sure.
“The kids are out of school after today.” They were so behind. Thank God there were two of them, him and Ap. They could play catch-up together.
“Well, I made Amelia’s one party last night.” Ap snickered. “Man, I was a fish out of water.”
“And you were at the choir concert. I made the Girl Scouts party and the end of season team bash.”
“We did okay.”
“Yeah, we even made the hall party at the children’s ward.” He did put his head back, a sigh escaping him. “Go us.”
“Rest, baby. We got a ways to go.”
“I know. I want to keep you company. I want to….” God, he wanted to be home.
“I’m fine. I can see you right there, and you have no idea how much that improves the drive.”
Okay, his cheeks went hot, but fuck, that was fine to hear. “Tell me we get to sleep together in the same bed tonight, honey?”
“We do or something awful is going to happen. At my hand.”
“Yeah. I need it.” Not even sex, although that would be welcome. He just needed contact. He needed to be held.
“Me too. God, I’ve seen you most every day, but I missed you.”
“Yes.” Everything had been wrong, but it was going to be right now. They would make it so out of sheer will and have Christmas for the kids in the nick of time.
He closed his eyes for just a second, just a heartbeat, and then he was gone. Simply floated away.
