by Stacey Lynn
Perhaps it was because I’d had my own muscular, swoon-worthy man in my bed and in my arms the past few nights.
By the time I met Paige at the restaurant, I still hadn’t heard from Aidan. Not even a reply to my text from this morning thanking him for the sweet treat. I was getting worried about him, not because he hadn’t talked to me, but because based on the short conversation with Beth, I knew he’d had a hard day.
It had to have been emotional for him, and while I wanted to find him to comfort him, I was trying to give him the space he needed.
I figured he’d tell me when and if he needed me.
“Hey, sweetie,” I said, and kissed Paige’s cheek in greeting when I slid onto the barstool next to her.
David was behind the bar with his back to us, mixing drinks for other customers, and while I found him attractive only in a purely appreciative sense, I still noticed how well his butt filled out the dark denim jeans he was wearing.
Very nice, as a matter of fact.
“Hey!” Paige wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me toward her. “How are you?”
“Good.” I smiled, my mind drifting to last night and this morning before I could stop it. My cheeks heated as my smile spread. “Great, actually.”
Paige’s eyes went wide with happy surprise at my quick response.
“And does that have anything to do with a sexy man who’s been seen parking his truck in your driveway as of late?”
I laughed, but kept my voice low, not wanting David to hear. “The gossip in this town is unreal.”
“You should hear the gossip at the hair salon I go to. Apparently you are currently numero uno on every single woman’s hate list.”
“Fantastic,” I murmured, but despite the fact that single women all over town hated me, I couldn’t quench my smile.
Two water glasses appeared in front of us, and I looked up to see David grinning at me. “Please, don’t talk about him here.”
He was joking, it was clear in the mischievous glimmer in his eyes, but I was feeling lighter than I had in months and I couldn’t help but prod him after Paige and I ordered margaritas.
“Why, David? Don’t you want to know what he’s like in bed?”
Next to me, Paige made a choking sound and cold water hit my shoulder.
“Ew!” My head snapped in her direction. “You just spit water on me.”
Her eyebrows shot up her forehead. “You’re having sex with him?”
“Please,” David said, raising a hand to stop me. “I really don’t need to hear this.”
“Then maybe you should go to the other end of the bar so you don’t have to.” I wiggled my eyebrows, teasing him.
I wouldn’t spill specifics about Aidan in bed, and I wouldn’t even confirm to Paige whether or not I was in fact sleeping with Aidan. In my opinion, that was private information, and I wasn’t one to boast about my sexual exploits.
Although with Aidan, there was plenty to boast about.
The thought heated my cheeks and I took a sip of my water, thankful for the icy drink that cooled my warming skin.
“So tell me,” Paige said once David gave up and moved down to the end of the bar to serve a group of men dressed in business suits. “Tell me what he’s like.”
“I’m neither confirming nor denying anything.” I flashed a wink in her direction and we laughed.
“You’re no fun,” she pouted.
“That’s not what Aidan says.”
She faked another pout when David came back. After sliding menus and our drinks in front of us, he covered his ears and left.
It only made us laugh more, but Paige dropped the sex talk while we decided what to order.
“It’s good to see you smiling again,” she said once we’d given David our orders. Mine, a huge pile of nachos with extra jalapeños. Paige got a double cheeseburger like she always did. I envied the metabolism she had. The girl ate like a man and somehow stayed a size two.
“It’s been a rough couple of months,” I admitted. “And there’s so much more I haven’t talked about regarding Derrick and Shane and Aidan…” I didn’t want to finish it.
Not because I was worried David might hear, but because I felt something shift in the atmosphere, as if the fog that had been weighing me down lately was beginning to lift, and in its wake, there were pale rays of sun beginning to peek through.
“I’m happy for you. You haven’t always had it easy and you deserve some good times.”
I made a face and groaned. “Let’s not talk about Cory tonight, please.” Hell, he was the last person I ever wanted to talk about.
She raised her hand and stopped me, taking a drink of her margarita. “Nope. Not tonight, I never want you to have to think about that twerp again.”
“He’s not five, Paige.”
She stuck her tongue out. “Sue me. I’m around kindergartners all day long.”
I smiled. She loved her job. Besides her beauty-pageant-winner looks, she was also one of the sweetest and kindest people I’d ever met in my life.
She also knew how to have fun. The girl had been able to party way more than the rest of us in college and still show up for class at eight in the morning.
Her fairy-tale fantasies were sometimes over the top and unreal, but as Aidan and I began to grow closer, I envied her ability to believe life was always full of cupcakes and sprinkles.
I wished I had that superpower.
I shook the thought away, refusing to allow myself to worry, when Paige nudged my shoulder.
“What?” I asked, but I already felt him.
It was magnetic, and my entire body began to come alive as I sensed Aidan walking up behind us.
I didn’t have time to turn around before his hands were on my shoulders.
“Hey,” he whispered huskily into my ear.
I shivered from the contact and the way the one word vibrated against my skin.
In front of me, Paige bit her bottom lip, her eyes wide with happy surprise.
I turned my head, looking up at him. When I saw his eyes, I faltered. They were bright and happy, and I almost teared up. But I couldn’t. Not now. This felt really good. “Hey, you.”
His eyes sparkled, as if he knew what he was doing to me before he broke our gaze and turned to Paige. “Paige,” he said, reaching out to shake her hand. “Good to see you again.”
“Oh, trust me.” She grinned. “The pleasure is all mine.”
“How was your day?” I asked him quietly. He was still standing behind me, one hand on my shoulder.
“Okay. Tough, but good, I think. I went and saw Shane.”
“I know, Beth told me.” I wanted to tell him I was proud of him, but didn’t. This wasn’t exactly a conversation for public, so I showed him my silent support by leaning into him.
Aidan squeezed my shoulder and then removed his hand as David greeted him at the bar.
I watched as David threw a towel over his shoulder and the two clasped hands in some complicated handshake–fist bump thing.
“Hey,” Paige whispered next to me. “You know who we should set him up with?”
She wiggled her eyebrows with excitement. I shook my head, already knowing where her thought was going. There was no way Camden would go for David.
“No,” I warned her, narrowing my eyes.
“Yes,” she hissed back, her eyes dancing with glee. “Seriously, he’s way hot.”
David was, definitely. They’d at least look super cute together, but Camden had a serious list of qualifications of what she wanted in a man and I was certain being a bartender wasn’t on it.
“He’s not white collar enough,” I told Paige, even though I cringed at the words. Camden wasn’t shallow, but her life hadn’t been easy, and because of that, she craved financial security.
Paige waved her hand dismissively in the air. “Details.” Then she leaned forward. “Hey, David. Are you single?”
He grinned. “Why? You interested?”
Sh
e snorted and lifted her left hand, showing off one hell of a large diamond ring. “Married. But I have this friend—”
“Who is also not interested,” I interrupted, skewering Paige with a glare before turning to David. “Don’t mind her.”
David frowned at the odd conversation before sliding a Goose Island beer across the bar and into Aidan’s waiting hand.
When he walked away to help a customer at the far end of the bar, Paige and I both checked out his backside.
He really was so attractive that it was unavoidable.
Nice.
“Should I be worried you’re checking out his ass?” Aidan said next to me. His bottle rested on his bottom lip as if he’d frozen in midmotion when he caught me checking out his friend, but his lips were tilted into a grin.
“No harm in looking,” Paige chirped, waggling her eyebrows playfully.
“I just think his ass is nice.” I shrugged and then smiled wide when Aidan’s eyes cut to mine and narrowed. “But yours is way better.”
He made a choking sound and set down his beer. “Thanks, I think.”
“No probs.”
“How much have you had to drink?” Aidan asked.
“Not a drop, actually.” I leaned into his side again. Paige watched me with a silly, happy grin on her face like I’d just told her unicorns were real. “I just have this feeling.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I said, letting the word hang in the air.
“You going to tell me what it is?”
I thought about it, unsure I wanted to, but then I decided to go for it. I really didn’t have anything to lose.
I smiled wistfully. “I just think things are looking up.”
A flash of sadness occurred in eyes and he looked down at his beer. His fingers tightened around the bottle before he loosened his grip and splayed his hands flat on the bar.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Maybe they are.”
He nodded once, as if he believed himself, and then took another drink from his bottle.
By the time Paige and I were done with our dinner, Aidan had also eaten a burger and a full plate of fries. David stopped by to talk to us whenever he had a few minutes.
I left Fireside Grill after saying good night to Paige with a genuine, large smile on my face, and Aidan’s arm wrapped around my shoulders as he walked me to my car. A feeling of peacefulness replaced the thick haze of sadness that had been clinging to me for months.
For once, I felt lighter…happier. Settled.
And I was determined to do whatever it took to feel this way for as long as I could.
“See you soon?” he asked, a hopeful glint in his eyes.
I slid into my seat and looked up at Aidan, who was bracing his arms over the door to my car.
“Follow me,” I whispered.
He shut my door, but right before it closed, I swore I heard him mutter, “I’ll follow you anywhere.”
When we got to my house, and into my room, Aidan proved that he wasn’t so much a follower, but taught me that despite my hesitancy to follow someone ever again, when we were in bed, I had no problems letting him lead.
Chapter 17
“Let’s get out of here,” I said to Aidan as he lazily sipped his morning coffee on my back deck.
We hadn’t been awake for long, but the sun was shining, bringing hope that the weather was going to be absolutely gorgeous.
He looked at me as if I’d just asked him to sweep me off to France for the weekend.
Which would be awesome.
I just wanted to get out of my house. Unless we were at Fireside, we were always at my place. Never his. I thought that might have changed weeks ago when he’d resumed contact with Shane, who was still in a mental health rehab facility. According to Beth and Aidan, he was doing well and anxious to come home at the end of the month.
But I was starting to feel paranoid.
“Where did you have in mind?” His cautious tone made me pause and irritation prickled.
“I don’t know…maybe somewhere public?” I arched an eyebrow. “Unless that bothers you?”
He caught my biting tone and I stiffened when he exhaled roughly and rubbed his fingertips against his forehead.
“No, shit, that’s not it.”
“We never go anywhere.” My voice was softer, suddenly uncertain, irritated at my own annoyance. Since we’d actually become an us, I was determined to take this at his speed. His direction. Some days were harder than others.
“Because I hate the stares I get in town, the dad of the dead kid.” He blew out a heavy breath and shook his head.
I understood. I had to. Being with Aidan came with challenges and minefields that were difficult to maneuver. It didn’t mean the results weren’t going to be worth the work. I believed that. I had to believe that.
An idea formed as I sipped my coffee. Grinning, I set the mug on the table and leaned close to him. “I have the perfect place. And it’s hidden, so I can continue to be your dirty little secret.”
I was teasing now. Based on his scowl, he didn’t find it funny. Reaching his hand out to mine, he wiggled his fingers.
“Come here.”
I couldn’t resist. We’d already had sex once this morning, slowly and tenderly, but every time he was near, every time he touched me, my body was primed for more of him. Unfolding my legs from beneath me on the chair, I placed my hand in his and let him pull me onto his lap. I straddled him, my legs spreading to fall on the outer sides of his thighs.
His hand trailed up my arm to the nape of my neck, where he pulled me toward his lips. He didn’t kiss me, just brushed his lips against mine, making me ache for more of him. “You’re not my little secret.”
My hips involuntarily rocked into him. He left out the word dirty. Intentionally, I suspected.
“I don’t like feeling hidden, or that being together is wrong.”
“It’s not,” he whispered, his lips now trailing down my throat to my collarbone.
I suppressed a shiver. Aidan set me on fire with a simple glance. When his hands and lips were on me, I turned into a restless ball of burning need.
“But everywhere I go brings back painful memories, and I’m not ready.”
Sometimes he accepted my prodding, other times, he closed off.
This was one of the times when he closed down. His lips covered mine and he didn’t continue the conversation.
Which I allowed, mostly because his hands were moving to my shirt, lifting it and tugging it off before his mouth began to slowly trail to my nipples.
I rocked into him, my hands sliding to the back of his head, holding him against me, dragging my nails through his soft and silky thick hair. His gentle, teasing ministrations made me forget the entire conversation as he rose off the chair, taking me with him. He pushed his shorts down past his hips and pulled my underwear to the side, and when he sat again, he slid his erection inside me, where I was more than ready for him.
I let him take me on my patio deck chair, knowing we had full privacy. When I fell over the edge, and he finished inside me, I bit down on his shoulder to stifle my screams.
And after we were done, cleaned up, and dressed to go on an afternoon excursion, I caught Aidan give that exact chair one last glance, a glimmer in his eye.
When he noticed me staring, he simply picked up the cooler from the kitchen where I’d packed a picnic, leaned in, and whispered in my ear, “I do like you dirty, though.”
—
The small fishing boat we rented was nothing to get excited about. It had only a trolling motor and paddles in case the battery died, and the bare minimum of fishing gear.
I didn’t mind.
Aidan thought it was hilarious that I enjoyed fishing and that I brought him to Rabbit Lake, a small lake just a few miles east of town.
I didn’t fish often, but growing up on a farm, I was well versed in all things nature.
Fishing was something I used to do with my
dad on his rare days off from the farm.
“This is nice,” he said, throwing out his line. Once the lure hit the water, he began to reel it in slowly.
I was bobber fishing because, while I liked fishing, I didn’t enjoy swimming with the fish. Our boat didn’t look secure enough to withstand two people standing and rocking it, so I chose the easier route of being able to sit and watch my bobber on the waves, while Aidan stood and repeatedly cast his line. I was also the only one to catch a fish so far, and I had reluctantly thrown back the beautiful smallmouth bass twenty minutes ago.
“It’s warming up,” I said in response, although I didn’t think Aidan was talking about the weather.
“School year is almost done, isn’t it?”
I nodded, even though he wasn’t looking at me. We’d reached the hardest time of year. Keeping the kids focused during the last month until school got out right after Memorial Day weekend wasn’t easy for anyone.
“Yeah.”
“Plans for this summer?”
I shrugged. I usually took a few trips and enjoyed my time off. Last year I’d spent two weeks in Europe and it had been amazing, even if I had been by myself. Sometimes the loneliness of not having a family to go to anymore ate at me and made me feel unsettled. The fact that most of my friends worked during the summer and were unable to get away with me as often didn’t help, either.
For the most part, I didn’t mind traveling alone. Being in romantic Rome and even more romantic Venice by myself had been difficult. I’d spent most of the days watching couples who were enraptured by each other, wondering if I would ever experience that overwhelming love for someone that they seemed to have.
I shook my head, blinking back the thoughts, when Aidan cleared his throat.
“Sorry, got inside my head for a minute.” I looked away, not wanting him to see what was written on my face. Being with Aidan, in spite of the difficulties, was also one of the best relationships I’d ever had. But there was still the sadness that weighed us down, prevented us from being able to be free around each other.
