by Stacey Lynn
My heart hurt.
Leaning forward, unable to help myself, I wrapped my arms around Aidan and buried my head in his neck. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
—
With the waves from Lake Michigan bouncing the boat, my fingers curled around the railing where Aidan and I were standing near the back, a quiet corner with a semblance of privacy.
Aidan was behind me, trying to keep me warm from the chilling breeze and the cold water that occasionally splashed up and over the sides of the boat. He had one hand covering mine on the railing, and his other hand was playing with my hair at the back of my neck.
His slow movements along my skin made goosebumps flare all over my skin. I was wearing only my spring jacket over my Cubs T-shirt and skinny jeans, and the setting sun and quickly cooling air wasn’t helping anything.
I shivered, moving back into the wall of warmth behind me, and laughed as Aidan nuzzled my neck with his nose.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered. He’d been quieter since we left the Ferris wheel and got on one of the boat tours. I let him have his time with his memories, not minding that while he was thinking of Derrick, he was keeping them to himself. We all needed that personal space. “After Mandy, I never knew if I could really trust a woman again.” His chin dropped to my shoulder, pinning me in place when all I wanted to do was turn around and look at him while he talked to me.
Instead, I kept my eyes on the water in front of us, knowing somehow that he needed this slight space between us to say whatever he was thinking.
“I know I told you that I didn’t date much and it’s true. Between trying to finish college, taking care of Derrick, and trying to take over my dad’s company after he died, I had too much on my shoulders and not a lot of time for fun. It doesn’t mean I haven’t been with women over the years, but it wasn’t frequent, either. I want you to know how sorry I am that I took advantage of you at the beginning…those first few weeks when I showed up at your house.”
My breath lodged in my throat, remembering the first time we’d had sex after Derrick’s birthday, and Aidan’s drunkenness the night before. I had known then that at least a part of Aidan was using me.
“But I’m so damn thankful you gave me that time, Chelsea. I needed it. I needed to be around someone who didn’t need anything from me, or wasn’t expecting me to move on. The guys have been great, don’t get me wrong. They know me better than anyone, they knew Derrick almost as well as I did, but being around them is hard. I think…I know this has all happened fast, and I know sometimes you have to wonder if what I feel for you is real—”
“I don’t,” I croaked, needing to reassure him. Not anymore, I didn’t.
“Regardless,” Aidan continued. “I think because you understand in a small way what I’m going through, what I’ll always grieve and miss, being around you is helping me in a way no one else could.”
“Aidan,” I started, but he shushed me and pressed his lips against my jaw.
“Don’t. Just let me finish this.”
I nodded, and then I twisted in his arms so the railing was at my back. Aidan’s hand that was in my hair dropped to my hip and he gave me a slight smile.
“God, I love you.” His eyebrows twitched and his eyes widened as if he had surprised himself with his admission.
I couldn’t help but grin and I reached out, stroking his cheek and his jaw with the palm of my hand. He had started keeping his jaw a bit scratchy and scruffy when I told him how much I liked running my fingernails across it. Somehow it was relaxing.
“I know,” I finally said in a whisper. “I heard you last night.”
His lips twitched, fighting a smile, and I fell even more in love with him when his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
“And you need to know that I love you, too. I’ve never been more in love with anyone in my entire life, and I don’t care how slow we need to go. I want to be with you, for whatever you need. I want to be there with you when you need to laugh and when you need to cry. I want to stand silently next to you while you remember Derrick even if you don’t tell me what you’re thinking.”
His forehead brushed against mine and his breath fell from his lips in a harsh exhale.
“God, you’re perfect and beautiful and I want you, Chelsea. Stay with me and let me love you.”
“Of course. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
His lips crushed into mine forcefully and his hands moved to my cheeks. He stole my kiss like he’d stolen my heart—quickly—and before I knew it, it was gone.
When he pulled back, our breath mingled in the minute space between us. His shoulders heaved as he gasped for breath and I smiled, loving the effect I had on him.
“Someday, I’m going to give you your dream house. We’re going to move in together, and whatever happens after that…we’re going to go through it together.”
My lungs froze as I registered his promise.
“Aidan.”
He shook his head.
“Just say yes. Whenever we’re both ready, that’s what will happen. I’m too old to play games, to wait for what I want, knowing how quickly it can all disappear. I’m not saying tomorrow, but when you’re ready, I want you to know that’s where this is going.”
My heart skipped a beat as I took in the intensity in his green eyes. In his pupils, I could see my stunned reflection, but it only took me a few moments before I began breathing and my body melted into his.
“I love you, Aidan. I’ll take whatever you give me.”
“Silly woman.” The edges of his lips tipped up into a smile. “I’m going to give you the world.”
And as he kissed me again, one of those romantic kisses that women who read romance novels dreamed about, and my foot kicked up behind me, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that everything he was telling me was absolutely true.
And there was nobody I’d rather have promising me the world than Aidan.
Epilogue
Aidan
OCTOBER
I stood on the deck, looking out over the three acres of land that was now mine—ours—and, not for the first time since the house had been built, I wished Derrick were here to see this.
He would have loved to see me smiling right now. Although knowing Derrick, he’d also be giving me crap for being so damn in love with a woman.
I couldn’t help it.
Chelsea was someone I had wanted for two years and had never had the balls to really get to know. The first time I met her, at Derrick’s middle school registration night, her eyes had been cloaked in sadness and hesitancy when I attempted—horribly—to flirt with her. Something about her eyes and her wounded expression told me it wasn’t a good time, so I figured I’d wait, that time would give me another opportunity to talk to her.
I’d had my chances. I’d had plenty of them. Yet I’d always waited, so determined to wait until Derrick was in high school and it felt like a better time. I didn’t want my son seeing his dad’s girlfriend at school, even if he really did like her. It screamed awkward for everyone.
If I had known the future, I would have taken my chances earlier.
Fuck the social constructs that could have judged us for being together then.
Chelsea soothed some part of me that others didn’t understand, not even Declan or David. Now I knew it was due to her own pain and loss, but at the time I just thought she was my angel come to keep me company and fill me with an odd sense of peace that night on my patio after Derrick’s funeral.
When I thought back, I still felt like a dick for how I treated her. How I ignored her when it suited me, lashed out at her when I knew I could, and said horrible shit about her because I was too big a coward to stand up to Mandy.
But somehow, through it all, Chelsea had been patient. She loved me quietly. She loved me loudly.
She loved me exactly how I needed her to, somehow having an instinct to read me and my ever-changing, flip-flopping moods with just a look.
; She was amazing.
And she was mine.
It made me the luckiest bastard in the entire world, and she’d given so much to me, I wanted to give her everything she wanted.
Even a child. Someday. If we could and when I was ready.
But I could already imagine this house filled with laughter and squeals and dirty feet as they ran through the land I had bought and where I had built Chelsea’s dream home.
She just didn’t know it was ours yet.
“There you are,” she said, her voice full of surprise at finally finding me.
I was exactly where I wanted to be when she did, too.
Turning around, I didn’t fight my smile or the way I stared at her like I wanted to rip off her clothes and make love to her until she was screaming my name.
She was used to me staring at her like this, but I still loved the way a blush crept up her neck and filled her cheeks before she moved toward me.
Her light blue eyes glazed over as she caught my look.
“Hey, babe,” I told her, wrapping her in my arms.
“I came here right after school, like your message said.” She leaned up and pressed her lips against mine. My hand tangled in the back of her hair, pressing her to me. God, she was perfect. She was always so soft, her gold-spun hair like silk. She melted into my arms and relaxed into my kiss and my sometimes overly firm hold on her like there was nowhere else she’d rather be in the entire world.
When she pulled back, she smacked my chest. “Oh, and before I forget, tell David to stop bugging Camden. Everything’s been so awkward between them ever since Tyson and Blue’s wedding.”
I chuckled and shook my head, because we all knew what had happened, even though no one admitted it.
David had been after Camden for months before then, and I knew something had happened between them when he took her to his hotel room during the reception. Hard not to be swayed romantically by Tyson and Blue’s spur-of-the-moment Caribbean beach wedding, to which they had flown all of their friends and Tyson’s family. Even Camden had loosened up, and once she had, David took his chance. Now the guy showed no sign of stopping.
I couldn’t figure out what he wanted with Camden. She still looked at him with disdain anytime she saw him bartending. Even after she’d found out he was a doctor and apologized to Chelsea and the girls for judging him, knowing that he could be “better” than how he was currently living seemed to make everything worse.
On top of her judgment and assumptions, Camden seemed too uptight and rigid for David, who was generally so carefree.
At least he used to be, before everything had gone tits up in Chicago.
Not that that was a conversation we had with David anymore, either. He shot Dec and me down every time we tried to talk to him. But I knew better than anyone the power and need for avoidance and keeping shit to yourself, so I was finally letting him have it. He’d done the same for me after Derrick’s death.
“Can’t help it, he’s a man on a mission. Just tell your girl to go out with him and be done with it.”
Chelsea rolled her eyes. It made me want to kiss her again, but I held back. “We have tried, constantly, but she’s adamant she doesn’t want to date him.”
I wiggled my eyebrows. “Maybe it’s not a date David’s after.”
She laughed, and that beautiful sound shot straight to my groin.
She was always so damn kind, quick to laugh and quick to love.
God couldn’t have created anyone better for me.
“Right, maybe I’ll tell her that tomorrow. The girl could use a good night between the sheets.”
“Oh God,” I groaned. I didn’t need the image of uptight Camden having sex. “Don’t talk to me about that.”
I shut her up by kissing her. My dick hardened when she instantly melted into me again, as if we were magnets and couldn’t help it. My hands moved to her butt and I lifted her, spinning her until I had her balancing on the deck railing behind me.
“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” I said when I set her down. My hands rested on her lower back, keeping her balanced, and my pulse started thrumming in my veins.
“Okay…” She frowned and I pressed my lips against hers until she relaxed.
“What’d you think of the house?” I asked, pulling back and gauging her reaction.
She smiled and her eyes softened. “It’s more beautiful than any house I’ve ever seen, definitely the best one out here.”
Back in June when she had told me she’d always wanted a place like this, I knew then that I’d be with her forever. I had known it before then, but seeing Chelsea fall in love with my work—my passion—it cemented our future in my head.
The next day, I’d had the planners help me redevelop the neighborhood plots at the back and ended one street in a cul-de-sac.
Then I bought three lots. I built this house on the middle lot so we had an acre of land on either side of us, giving us more land than we’d ever need in our lives. But I watched how Chelsea’s eyes had glazed over at the dream of living out in the open with land and trees and the creek in the distance.
Right now the trees were all turning into a rainbow of oranges and reds, and the line at the far edge of the property was completely breathtaking.
I swallowed slowly and braced myself for the possibility she might not be ready for this.
For me.
Our future.
And some would say I was crazy. That it was too soon after Derrick’s death for me to move on in this way, but I knew loss.
I knew regret.
I knew the searing pain that death and the loss of dreams caused in a person. I refused to live in fear or under a heavy cloak of darkness and sadness.
There was too much life to live, and Derrick would want that for me.
He wanted this for me.
Hell, I wanted this for me.
Slowly, I let go of her with one hand and reached into my back pocket, pulling out a set of keys.
“It’s yours, then.”
Confusion flickered through her eyes as she glanced down at the keys in my hand. Then doubt. Followed by shock.
She looked at me. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until she raised her hand and ran it down my unshaven jaw. The small movement helped me relax. She wasn’t jumping down and running out of the house, calling me insane.
“What?” Her eyes were wide with wonder.
“Okay, not yours.” I grinned and began pulling off one of the keys. I slid it off and put it into my back pocket before holding out the key ring. “These keys are yours. The other set is mine. We close in two weeks.”
Her head jerked back and I wrapped my arm around her to keep her from falling.
“Holy…shit…are you…?”
“Serious?” I finished for her. “Yeah, I am.”
“This is…fast, Aidan.”
For a second, I saw her doubt return and I knew what she was thinking. We’d only truly been together for five months. Derrick had only been gone for seven.
It was too soon.
I thought it wasn’t quick enough. I should have had Chelsea in my house years ago.
“I love you, Chelsea. I know you’re worried, but I also know you want this. You want this house and this land, and I made a promise in Chicago to give you the world.” I picked her up and set her down on her feet. Then I turned us so I could see her and she could see the view. “This is your world. Let me live in it with you.”
She shook her head slowly, her lips fighting the pull to turn into a wonderful smile as reality began dawning. When it finally hit, it shined in her eyes and all I could see of her smile was teeth.
“You’re insane,” she finally said, moving toward me.
“Is that a yes?”
Her hands wrapped around my shoulders and I picked her up. She was so light, I could do it easily, but mostly I just loved palming her sweet ass. It fit perfectly in my hands and I loved that whenever I rubbed it, it turned her on.
Although to be fair, most things I did turned Chelsea on.
“Yes,” she whispered over a quiet laugh. “Of course it’s a yes, you crazy man.”
“Good.” I started walking into the house. “Let me give you the final tour then.”
“You can put me down now.”
“Not a chance.” I leaned down and planted my lips on hers, letting her know with a simple kiss how much I loved her and how much she meant to me.
I carried her through the entire house, pointing out rooms for our office, a formal dining and living area at the front, the enormous kitchen that was an exact replica of the model home—I knew how much she loved the natural light and the colors used in there.
And it was later—after I had showed her the three extra bedrooms upstairs, the bathrooms, and the soaking tub in our bathroom, and then the master bedroom, where we ended up in a pile on the floor—that I made a silent promise to myself.
I would do whatever it took to give Chelsea Dwyer the family she wanted, regardless of how much time or money it took. Fertility treatments, foster parenting, or adoption. Whatever she wanted, I would give it to her.
Not because I loved her, but because I worshipped her. Nothing would make me happier than doing whatever it was I possibly could to make her the happiest woman, and mom, in the world.
I was not going to give her the world—I was going to rock her world.
I was going to give her her dream of becoming a mom.
And then I was going to sit back, smile, and watch her excel at it, knowing the entire time that Derrick would be watching us from heaven, congratulating me for finally getting up the guts to go after what I wanted most in life.
Chelsea Dwyer.
To Tonya and Shannon
Without this crazy idea I had one day to try writing something, I never would have met either of you. You’re not only wonderful friends, but incredible women, and I’m honored to know you both.
Acknowledgments
