by J. L. Ryan
That was only the beginning, I want you
She felt her body come to life with the excitement of the words. He certainly had no problem sharing what he wanted, but she had decided to not let it go any further than it already had. She had very strict guidelines about how she lived her life. She had been reckless and let the fantasy take over yesterday. It had been the make-up, the dress and the stupid wine. Nothing more. She wouldn’t let it happen a second time. She needed to focus on the important things in life like her family, and taking care of herself. She made her way towards the town where she had grown up. She was off this morning and was going to see her little brother off to his first day of school. She loved the small town charm that made up the community where she used to live. It was hard to imagine that just two towns over the city was overfilled with people and congestion. It was good to sometimes come home and put things into perspective. She only hoped to not run into A.J., ever. He had wanted that woman from dinner, not the one getting ready to visit her family in a sundress and flip flops. The fantasy was something she couldn’t give him, or anyone for that matter. All she had to do was get refocused.
She saw her little brother in the front yard with their father and she got out of the car just in time to hop into the SUV that would take the four of them to the school. He was excited, and scared, she could tell by the way he was fidgety but not talking much. Having a child after so many years since Sierra had been a struggle for her parents, but they loved Jacob more than anything in the world. He had been a miracle child for them really, and completely unexpected. She had been 16 when he was born and the shock had just subsided about having a new toddler running around when he was getting ready to go to school. Even harder was the fact that her brother needed medication for his condition. When he was five he had been diagnosed with myeloid leukemia. The medication alone had cost her father their savings. She knew she needed to do something to help, but she wasn’t sure what. She looked down at her brother and put her hand on his knee and he moved his to hers smiling, then after a second she tapped his nose and he would tap hers back. Finally, she stuck out her tongue and he followed suit. He relaxed as she tickled him in the back seat.
The brick building was spread out ranch style and had two wings. It was a beautiful undertaking and after years it was finally ready. She walked hand in hand with Jacob, her father ahead of them. He really was a good boy. They watched as the announcer made a speech about the importance of family. It was then that she froze. She heard his voice before she even looked down towards the podium. He was dressed impeccably as he had been yesterday. He was far away enough that he did see her but she watched him as he shared the importance of meeting educational goals. That was where she had recognized his name. Trager Enterprises was the largest business in the area and often would give money to local causes. It was his money that made this building possible. The old school had been falling apart and now, apparently with his help, they had a new one, one that had a special wing for children with illness like Jacob. She felt her heart soften a little towards him. This knowledge would only make it that much harder to stay away from him.
She walked with Jacob and her father to his class. She felt the sense of loss once he was inside for them both. She only wished her mother could have been there to see him go inside. Just two years ago, she was killed in a tragic car accident that left her and her father with Jacob. They did the best they could and now he was getting older. Her father headed back to the car and she waited a few seconds longer wanting to remember this moment for her mother. She turned to leave and there he was, leaning against the wall watching her again.
“Hello Katie.” He enunciated her name strangely and gave her a stormy look.
“Mr. Trager hello… again. My brother is a student here now. This is a great thing you did.” She knew she was rambling and gave him one final look. “It was nice to see you again.” As she walked by him, he grabbed her arm pulling her towards him.
He kissed her lightly and let her go, it was almost a tease, but enough to remind her that he was in control. She started walking as soon as she was free and she tried to calm her racing heart as she did it. She saw his dark smile as he turned to leave. He was the most arrogant person she had ever met that she knew. She touched her fingertips to her lips still tingling from his latest onslaught. How was it he managed to show up places when she was there?
She headed to lunch with her father before heading back into town. They had just sat down when suddenly he was there. She almost choked on her water.
“Sierra, Mr. Trager is having lunch with us. It seems we he knows you and in mentioning lunch I asked him to join us.” She smiled weakly and looked up to catch his eye. It was as if he were looking right through her.
“How nice.” It was all she could manage to squeak out.
“Sierra, are you okay, you looked pale.” Her father seemed genuinely concerned.
“Yes, you look as though something shocked you or something of that nature.” He interjected with the same smile that drove her crazy.
“I’m fine, just some pesky bugs in the hall before that’s all.” She saw his smile again but he said nothing.
Lunch was an interesting time. He spoke and laughed with her father as if there was nothing underlying between them. He asked her to show him the gardens at the café and at her father’s insistence she did.
“You look beautiful today Miss Ford.” He glanced over at her as they walked.
“Thank you Mr. Trager.” She refused to look at him.
“So, when were you going to tell me that you are not Katie?” He never broke stride.
“How did you find out?” She crossed her arms over the front of her dress as they walked.
“Does that really matter? The reality is you lied, I don’t do well with liars.” He said it stiffly. She felt the anger start to rise deep down.
“Oh really, well, it’s a good thing it was only one date.” She flashed her eyes at him and saw him do his best to hide a smile.
“Have I mentioned how badly I want you?” she tripped lightly and he caught her arm.
“Really? Why would you say something like that to me?” She stopped to look at him.
“It’s simply the truth, if I want something I find it much easier to get if I simply make it clear.” He took a step towards her and she started walking again as he chuckled.
“You’re safe for now, Miss Ford. One day soon I won’t keep that promise.” She glanced at him, but he continued to look at the pond beside them.
“Your almost a different person today Sierra, more free and happy perhaps.”
“I am in my own clothes, and I’m at home. I supposed I am free that way.” He stopped her and looked down into her face.
“I like you better this way.” There was a long moment between them and she broke free and made her way up the path. He chuckled.
“Tell me about your brother.”
There was something in the way he said it that made her feel close to him. He seemed genuinely interested and she shared her story with him. Her brother had been diagnosed with a form of leukemia. He listened and interjected when necessary. He was almost a different person in this environment. She found him easy to talk to and strangely, she felt safe with him. He spoke about some of the new directions the company was going in and she listened, interested in the way business is managed. She gave him some input and he arched an eyebrow at her point of view. She was happy she had at least shown more to her character than the way she behaved around him before. Right before they made their way back to the café he stopped and pushed her into the overhang kissing her again, quickly but deep and hard. He stopped and pulled away slightly before he backed away completely. They made their way back to the table where her father sat and Trager jumped right back into the conversation as if it were nothing. They parted ways and she rode back with her father to get her car.
“That Mr. Trager is a nice guy, Sierra.” She looked over and he gave her a wink.
/> “He is an ass dad, plain and simple.” She crossed her arms in the car and he smiled at her but didn’t say another word.
She missed home when she wasn’t there, but she loved the city more. She said her goodbyes to her father and headed back to the apartment. She pulled her car into the lot adjacent to her apartment building and her phone started ringing. She assumed it was A.J. and ignored it since her hands were full. The second time it went off after she had been inside for a few minutes she checked it. It was work, with a sigh, she called Harry back at the diner.
“Sure Harry, I’ll be there just as soon as I can ok?” With a sigh she pulled her hair back into a bun and threw on her uniform. Hopefully since it was a Friday she would make decent tips.
The night seemed to drag on as she made her usual rounds. Despite her effort to not think about him, he was there and present in her mind. Maybe Katie was right, maybe she needed to get out more, and have fun. Things had been a mess since Jake and she couldn’t seem to move past it. There was some level of trust she couldn’t seem to give too freely to anyone. She was tired and she was unhappy. Sure, she had great friends, but she was living paycheck to paycheck and she needed to get things together. Her classes here and there were certainly not helping to propel her career in any way. She had big plans once upon a time and now she was just surviving. She felt someone touch her apron and glanced back to see another staggering drunk trying to touch her rear. She pulled the apron away and made her way to the counter. She let her head hang in her hands for a second refusing to give in to the stress, she was only 26 she still had time to get it together. Finally, the night came to a close and she headed home lost in deep thought about her future.
The next morning was there too quickly and she rolled over with a sigh. Today would be busy. The only day the she could actually clean the apartment and get it together. They both worked and went to school all week and rarely got anything done. She knew that Katie was still sleeping. She shuffled her way to the kitchen lost in thought once more about her brother. His prognosis, if medicated was good, but she worried about him. She looked around and jumped in full force. She would be lying if she said she didn’t think about him. It was strange, someone making her feel things now. She had assumed that was all behind her. She wanted desperately to be like Katie. To find love and happiness, but none of it was for her. She needed to focus on what was important.
A.J. was having a similar morning. He was killing himself waiting to find a woman. Usually he could go out and find any number of them to bring home, but now he was stuck. He told himself it had nothing to do with her, but he wasn’t so sure. Ever since their kiss at the school opening he couldn’t get her out of his head. This was the first day in a long time he woke up unsatisfied from the night before. He always had someone, but she had robbed him of it. He was completely focused on winning her over. He wanted her even now, in his bed. He gritted his teeth and made his way to the shower. Sometimes it helped, sometimes not. Soon, however, she would be his even if only for one night.
The rest of the morning flew by and Sierra looked around enjoying her clean apartment. There was a sense of pride in that and she liked order. She never would be considered spontaneous on any level. She slumped down in the chair and threw the rag in she had in the waiting basket. Soon Katie would be gone, moving for her new job, and she would either have to find a way to make the payments on this place herself, or move home. She liked the simplicity of the apartment, but she was doubtful there was any way she could make it on her own. For now she would enjoy it.
He knew she would be mad. Furious more likely. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, but she was determined to fight him. She was always leery of him, part of him liked it that way, and he enjoyed the banter they seemed to find themselves in every time they spoke. She was smart and quick, he knew that by talking to her, but something kept her from giving in to him and he wanted to know what it was. He wanted her and he rarely was ever turned down. She was fighting him and the chase had begun. When she was here, which he was sure would be within the hour, he had every intention of claiming her body once and for all. The morning seemed to go on forever as he anticipated the way she would feel beneath him. He wanted to control her every move and the thought flooded him with fire. Soon, he thought to himself, soon.
He heard the first stirrings of activity in the lobby. He smiled and leaned back in his chair waiting and anticipating how she would look when she was angry. He spun around as his assistant opened his door.
Mr. Trager someone, a young lady is here to see you. “She glanced behind her quickly. “She said you were expecting her.”
“I am, please let her in.” He sat up and made every effort to look busy as she stormed into the room.
As soon as he heard the click of the door, he looked up at her and it hit him like a punch to the gut. She was more beautiful at this very moment than she had been yet. Her hair was a swirling mass of reds and browns and flowed down her back freely. He could almost feel his fingers itch to run through it. Her arms were crossed and her body was fitted into a dress that hugged her every curve and angle.
“What the hell were you thinking towing my car?” She continued to tap her foot as she waved a sheet of paper at him. “I had to take a cab to get here and even that took forever. I can’t afford to take a cab all the way across town, Trager.” She huffed and exhaled slowly and he noticed the pink hue of her cheeks,
“I’m sorry Sierra, I wanted you to come see me, and I knew this was one way to make it happen.” He leaned back and smiled.
“You are so smug sometimes, A.J., you just assume the world is here to give you whatever you want aren’t you?” She was practically yelling and he wanted to somehow bottle up all the fire she carried and make love to her for hours.
“Sometimes, yes. I like getting what I want and right now I want you.” He said it simply enough, but there was much more to the statement.
“You don’t even know me, Trager.” She sighed.
It was the truth and it had never been clearer to her than right now. He had no idea of what was on her plate, or in her world for that matter. She was already stretched too thin and it wouldn’t take much to push her over the edge. Her Monday started out badly, her car was towed, and she’d spent hours on the phone looking for various agencies to help fund Jacobs’s medication. Money was running out and she needed a solution fast. Her father called her to discuss the house and he decided to take out a loan against it. It was the only thing of value he had left that he’d shared with her mother. With the growing figures for Jacobs’s medication, it was clear he had no choice. Then after going outside and seeing that her car was missing, she stomped off in search for it, only to find it had been a ruse to get her here.
“I want you in my arms Sierra. I have wanted to touch you since that night when I watched you walk into the restaurant.”
“I don’t know how you do it, Trager, but for me, I am not interested in becoming some notch on your headboard.”
“I don’t have a headboard, Sierra, but you will see soon enough.” His arrogance was stifling, but she couldn’t stop the warmth that spread through her body. “I know you want the very same thing from me but you won’t let yourself go. I am not asking for marriage or family, I just want you, plain and simple.”
He was almost too much to look at. He was impeccably dressed as always. He delivered his point clearly and effectively and she knew what he said was true. She wasn’t too old yet to want to be touched by someone, and held by someone. The obvious problem was that she wasn’t that type of girl.
“Shut the door, Sierra.” She did as he told her, and as she started to walk towards him, he added “lock it.”
With a gulp she did as she was told. There was an underlying current in the air and she could tell he was playing with her, like a cat and mouse game. She wouldn’t be bossed around by his arrogance and she wanted him to know it. The entire situation was out of hand and she let it go too far that day in he
r apartment. She took responsibility for drinking the wine that got her into this mess.
“Mr. Trager, I think I need to apologize. I think I may have given you the wrong impression about me. I am not the kind of girl who just lets strange men touch her... well you know what I mean. I can’t let this… attraction between us continue.” She fumbled the words out. “To say that my life is complicated right now would be a very sincere understatement.”
They sounded less harsh than she intended, but she finally got them out. He turned slowly towards her and he had a sinister look about him. He wasn’t frowning, or smiling, but it was as if he was stuck between both. He moved towards her like a cat chasing its prey and she backed up against his desk as he moved over her. He was slow at first. He simply ran his finger across her neck relishing at her quick intake of breath. He looked at her as he traced his finger across her chest and across the tops of her breasts. She couldn’t breathe, it was if she had never said a word. He kissed the tops of each mound lightly before he undid her hair, letting it cascade around her like a fiery blanket. He put his hands in it and pulled her hard against him, crushing his mouth to hers. She was lost. The feel of his mouth, grinding into hers was a welcome one. She tried to put up a defense against him and failed. He turned her around and she felt him lean into her as he whispered into her ear.
“Sierra, I have been very clear about the fact that I want you. I want you to know that before anything else happens. I want you to know without any doubt that it’s going to happen.” She gasped as he pushed against her and she could feel the length of him against her.
“You have to let go, let yourself feel all of the things I want to show you.” He kissed her mouth lightly. “If you want to say no I will, but understand if you do, I may not try again.”
She nodded yes to him as the rest of her defense slipped away. He was very matter-of-fact about things and she loved it. She felt him unzip her dress and trail his fingers down her spine as the dress slipped to the floor. She was aware of every nerve ending in her body as his hands reached around and touched her.
