I didn’t see anything to rejoice over, especially not when I’d lost the last member of my family. I was completely and utterly alone. Not even thoughts of my time with Luke could console my aching heart. I wanted to crawl into a hole and just die.
When the pastor asked if anyone would like to speak a few words about my dad, Luke squeezed my hand and stood. The pastor moved away from the microphone to let him speak.
“When I met Joe Wells, I was just a punk kid who only cared about seeing how far I could get with his daughter,” he started. I blushed furiously. “But when our relationship ended, as most teen romances do, my relationship with Joe only grew. He was like a father to me, but he was also one of my closest friends. He was more than just a good man—he was an amazing person as a whole. He believed in second chances and seeking out dreams. He taught me to believe in happy endings.”
I was shocked by his speech, especially since it was the beautiful opposite of my inner thoughts. Luke returned to my side without hesitation and I grabbed for his hand again.
“Joe’s family has prepared a video slideshow of photos they would like to share,” the pastor informed us.
I wanted to demand Luke take me home, but he gave me a gentle squeeze and we watched the show together. Pictures from my childhood flashed in front of us. The photos I’d pulled out of the box in my bedroom, plus some I didn’t submit. I glanced at Luke but he kept his gaze straight ahead. A photo of Luke’s senior prom, arm draped over my shoulder while my dad made a face beside us. A picture of Dad pretending to strangle Luke caused laughter to filter throughout the crowd. My high school prom photos, the ones Luke and I had pretended to be happy in. I pushed down the lump in my throat.
When the funeral service ended, I let myself be led to the car. We were hosting a small reception at our house. It never dawned on me that I wouldn’t want to deal with so many people. The house was already crowded when Luke pulled his car in the drive. I swallowed the lump in my throat and opened the passenger door. Luke was there in an instant to help me out. I wanted to thank him but I couldn’t form the words.
The inside of my house had been transformed into a social gathering with people I was sure I’d never even met standing around eating food and chatting. It was all so normal, so very much like a party that I couldn’t take it. I made a beeline for my room but I was stopped by two older women wearing ridiculous hats.
“Mallory Wells, is that you?” the one with a yellow hat asked me.
I couldn’t help but notice that with her yellow hat and dress, she looked like a marshmallow Peep.
“Why, it’s been years since you’ve been back, hasn’t it? At least you came for your daddy’s funeral service,” she remarked.
I was about to punch an old woman in the face when Luke saved me.
“Ladies, is this Easter? It is customary to wear dark colors in respect for the deceased. And may I say you both look like you’re attending a party instead of a reception to mourn the dead. I’m sure Joe is up in Heaven, thankful for the two of you,” he said as he pulled me away from them and toward my bedroom.
I could imagine my dad laughing at the old biddies. It brought a smile to my face.
“Thank you,” I said once he shut the door to my bedroom and cut out the world outside.
“Anything for you, Mal,” he said.
I had him alone, and I knew I needed to be honest with him. He moved in for a hug but I pulled away.
“Luke, we need to talk,” I started.
His laughter surprised me.
“I hope it’s not the same talk we had a few days ago. I think Joe would frown upon us,” he said, jokingly.
I realized the last time I said those words to him, I’d jumped him. He wouldn’t like the outcome of this chat.
“No, Luke, it’s not like that. Honestly, it’s the opposite of that. I wanted to let you know that after the reading of the will next week, I’m going back to Boston,” I said in a rush.
I watched as the anger rose up in him. But he didn’t speak right away. He took several calming breaths before he finally addressed me.
“Fine. I see you’re still as spoiled rotten as ever and you’ve learned nothing about me in the past week, or hell, the past seven years! This isn’t a game, Mallory,” he said.
I should have heeded his warning. “A game? Oh, like the one you played when I left? Getting close to my father to spite me so that you could rub it in my face when he died—that’s a great play, Luke. But you’re right, this isn’t a game. If I’ve learned nothing in the last week, it’s that people always let you down—they always leave. So before you get the pleasure of leaving me, I’m leaving you first. I didn’t make you sleep with me again, so don’t you dare try to accuse me of playing some game. I told you I wasn’t going to stay in Casper forever. It isn’t my fault if you didn’t listen to me.”
I was seething. I wanted to hurt him, to make him hate me so he didn’t feel the heartbreak I knew he suffered from. I wanted him to have someone better.
The flash of hurt I saw in his eyes before his anger reappeared was enough that I didn’t want to say anymore. I didn’t want to hurt him again, but I needed to get out of this town and falling deeper in love with him was only going to hurt us both in the end. I folded my arms across my chest and waited for him to retaliate.
He didn’t, though. He gave me a short nod with a grimace, walked out of the room, and out of my life. I swallowed the lump in my throat, hoping I didn’t just make the biggest mistake of my life.
Chapter Sixteen
Luke
I didn’t see anyone else at the reception. In fact, I was pretty sure Baker tried to slow me down when I left the house, but I wouldn’t be stopped. I couldn’t. Not until I gained control of my anger. I was still shaking with rage when I reached my apartment. I tossed my keys on the coffee table by the couch and watched them slide all the way across the table and smash against the floor. I ignored them where they lay against the carpet and made my way to the fridge.
I popped open a beer and downed half of it in one long gulp. I wiped my mouth and stared at the beer. Just a week ago, Mallory had called me a nothing, just like the men in my family before me. Was she right? I dumped the rest of the beer out in the sink, refusing to be like my father. Or grandfather. Or any other man in my family who chose the bottle over living a fulfilling life. I knew I didn’t want to be like them.
But that didn’t mean I was okay with the situation. I put my palms on the edge of the counter, holding on while I took several deep breaths. A knock at my door had me dreading answering it. I walked over and pulled it open. Gabby stood there in black, her makeup just slightly smeared.
“Hey, Luke,” she said.
She walked into my apartment before I could protest, although I don’t know that it would have done any good. She was a stubborn one, at least as mule-headed as Mallory.
I tried not to sound annoyed. “What’s up, Gabby?”
“What’s up is you left Mallory in her time of need,” she said with a glare.
She even had the audacity to put her hands on her hips as she gave me the stink eye. Another calming breath was necessary before I answered her, although it didn’t help much.
“What’s up is Mallory threw me to the curb. Again. And before we even got started. Don’t blame that on me,” I seethed in anger.
Her confused expression let me know she hadn’t taken the time to get the full story.
“You just assumed I left her? You’ve known me for years, Gab—do you really think I would do that to her?”
“I—I’m confused, Luke. She told me the two of you were done, and I just assumed since you’d left in such a rush that you pushed her away,” she admitted. “But I guess that’s not how it went down.”
I sighed. “Not even close. Mallory held my hand and let me comfort her at the funeral service, all while she planned on ripping my heart out again. I was an idiot to think she would want to stay in Casper, especially for me.”
I felt like such a girl for being so honest, but I loved Mallory. Losing her wasn’t exactly something I was prepared for a second time around.
“I thought …” she trailed off, stunned by what I told her. “I guess I was wrong.”
Damn right she was wrong. She didn’t have any idea what today had done to me. First I had to deal with losing a dear friend and father figure, and then I had to mourn the idea of Mallory and me as a couple. I wanted to shout with anger, but I simply looked at Gabby.
“Oh, Luke, I am so sorry!”
She took two steps and threw her arms around my neck. She’d been one of very few women I’d become friends with over the years. We were as close as brother and sister.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and squeezed. We stayed like that for a full minute. It was in that position, with our arms entangled in a friendly hug, in which Wolfe and Baker found us.
“Son of a bitch!” Wolfe roared from my front door, which was still open.
Gabby and I pulled apart and just in time for Wolfe to tackle me. We slammed into the floor and then rolled a bit. He got in several good punches before I managed to hold his wrists so he couldn’t beat my face anymore. I wasn’t much of a fighter, but I could hold my own. I also knew why Wolfe was so upset.
I looked up and found Baker and Gabby standing there, side by side, staring in shock at the two of us. I waited for them to blink before I spoke.
“A little help?” I asked.
They both snapped out of it and held on to Wolfe’s wrists while I got up.
“Wolfe, there’s nothing going on between me and Gabby,” I insisted.
Gabby’s eyes grew wide and she let go of one of Wolfe’s arms to cover her mouth. He formed a fist with the other and knocked Baker in the cheek. Wolfe was on his feet in a second, coming after me again. I was ready for him, though. When he brought his fist toward me, I blocked him and then slammed a fist into his stomach. He bent at the waist reflexively and I grabbed his left hand. I pulled it behind his back. Baker was right there to grab his other hand and together, we secured him. Baker held on to both his hands while I went around to face him.
“There aren’t many people I let punch me, Wolfe. Especially not more than once. But regardless of what you think, Gabby and I are, and always will be, just friends. She came to lecture me about Mallory, actually,” I explained.
Wolfe’s wild eyes started to calm, the fight slowly going out of him. I could understand his predicament. He was still in love with his wife. He wanted her back, so the thought of any other man making a move had him furious. I could, unfortunately, relate to the sentiment.
“Wolfe, what the hell are you doing? Luke and I are only friends, just like he said,” Gabby said, reinforcing my words.
I worried she might be the one to start throwing punches next. And since Wolfe was the one her anger was directed at, I guessed it would be him. When she took a step toward him, I moved between them.
“Easy, Gabby. Everyone makes mistakes. Let’s give Wolfe a break,” I suggested.
She didn’t like what I had to say, but she met my eyes and gave me the slightest inclination of her head. She agreed. For now. I didn’t want to be present when they had their next battle.
Baker let go of Wolfe’s hands and Wolfe rubbed his wrists. “I’m sorry, Luke. I guess I overreacted,” he confessed. He thrust his hand my way and I shook it. He looked at Gabby. “I’m sorry,” he said to her. He didn’t elaborate, but I figured his apology was for more than just his misconduct today.
Again, Gabby didn’t reply; she gave him a quick nod. She looked back at me.
“What are you going to do about Mallory?”
“Is there anything I can do? She’s a grown woman with a stubborn streak. I don’t want to lose her, but I don’t want to try to win her back and make things worse, either,” I said.
“I wouldn’t suggest talking to her right away. Give her some space, Luke. She has feelings for you, whether she admits it or not,” Gabby told me. “Don’t give up on her, though.”
“I promise I won’t.”
She looked at Wolfe and Baker. “I’ll just get out of here. I wouldn’t want to intrude on guy time. Plus, Mallory and Rainey are probably wondering where I am,” she mumbled, avoiding eye contact with Wolfe. “See you guys later.”
Baker and I said our goodbyes but Wolfe remained silent until after she left. Once the door closed, he released a breath I guessed he’d been holding for a while.
“She is something else,” he muttered.
“She’s hot,” Baker commented. “Even in high school she was a hottie. When’s your divorce final, Wolfe? I want to ask her out.”
Wolfe’s eyes flashed again until I laughed.
“You wouldn’t have a chance with Gabby. She’s way too sophisticated for you, Baker. I’m still trying to figure out what Rainey ever saw in you,” I laughed. Wolfe chuckled as he realized we were kidding. Baker was always good for a laugh.
Baker winked. “Oh, you mean what she still sees in me?”
“What? When did that happen?” Wolfe asked. “I figured she would be smart enough to stay away from you after the horror stories I heard about the first time around.”
Baker glared but he explained. “She said that she’s here for a week and we can be friends with benefits while she’s home. She’s probably going to come home for the summer, too, so I guess we will be spending a lot of time together.”
“But what made her decide to be with you?” I asked.
“Har-har. Very funny. I am actually a really great guy. I make the ladies laugh,” he said, boasting.
“Yeah, when you take your pants off.” Wolfe rolled his eyes.
I laughed aloud.
“I guess she decided she wanted to get me out of my pants again. So we’re kind of dating, but not really. It’s a perfect relationship. She doesn’t want anything more than the summer.” He smiled.
I was happy for him. I was. But I was so far from a perfect relationship with Mallory that my jealousy formed a fireball in the pit of my stomach. Why did their connection have to be easy when I fought every day to get close to Mallory? I pushed down the jealous part of me and focused on being happy for them.
“Congrats, man, that’s great.” I hoped I didn’t sound too lame.
“Yeah, you’re living the dream! A relationship with a woman that doesn’t get emotional or needy. Good for you,” Wolfe said. “Who wants a beer?” He made his way to my fridge. He pulled three cans out but I waved him off.
“I’m good,” I said.
He shrugged and tossed one to Baker. I grabbed a bottle of water while they sat in my living room. I joined them a minute later.
“So I see you haven’t made much progress with Gabby,” Baker said to Wolfe.
“No, not really. She refuses to talk to me until we go before the judge again. It’s like she’s afraid having any kind of conversation with me at all will make her fall back in love with me. But she’s never mean—she is the epitome of being civil. I don’t know how to get her to change her mind about me.”
“Get her to sleep with you,” Baker suggested. At our questioning looks, he grinned sheepishly. “Seriously. She will feel emotionally tied to you again after she sleeps with you. It’s how all women work.”
“Okay, first of all, when did you become knowledgeable about women? And second, if you truly believe what you say, why is Rainey immune?” Wolfe asked him.
Baker looked truly worried as he considered Wolfe’s words. He remained silent.
I shook my head at the two of them. “Can we talk about Mallory yet?”
“Sheesh, what a girl you are,” Baker teased.
Wolfe laughed.
“Yeah, well, it’s not like I’m getting anywhere with her,” I mumbled.
“Did you sleep with her?” Wolfe asked.
I didn’t answer but the look I gave them told them the truth.
“Way to go!” Baker raised his hand for a high five. I glared at him a
nd his hand went down. “So you’re already on the path of making her emotionally attached.”
“I don’t understand you, Baker. Why would you give advice about getting a woman emotionally attached when you clearly have no intentions of evoking an attachment in your own relationship?” I asked him.
“Women are supposed to fall in love with us. It’s the way of the world,” he said with authority.
“So women are supposed to fall in love with us and we’re supposed to, what? Toss them aside?” Wolfe asked.
Baker flashed a grin. “Exactly.”
“No way. I only want one woman. I agreed to be her husband forever and I will be. I just have to figure out how to make her mine again,” Wolfe said, more to himself than to us.
“Sex. I’m telling you,” Baker started.
“Shut up, Baker,” Wolfe and I said at the same time, which caused another round of laughter.
We spent the rest of the day discussing our women troubles, since we were all in the same boat. The only difference was that Baker was the only one happy in his boat. I envied him.
Chapter Seventeen
Mallory
After the service reception, I didn’t see Luke. It wasn’t on purpose, though I’m sure I would have tried if I had been capable of leaving the house. But I wasn’t. I sat in the house for five days. Rainey and Gabby visited me every day, but even their visits were fewer and fewer, as they couldn’t stand to be around me.
I knew I wasn’t fit for company, but I also knew they worried about me doing something stupid. And although I would never admit it aloud, I had thought about that something stupid. Just end it and be rid of the pain of losing my dad. But in the end, I was a coward. I didn’t have the guts to make it happen. Rainey called the doctor for me and he made a house call. He tried to engage me in conversation, but it just didn’t happen. I was inconsolable.
Dad’s death had turned me into this hollow shell of a woman. I couldn’t feel, couldn’t express emotion—I was numb. The worst part was, I could see myself the way everyone else did—the depression, the denial—but I wasn’t just mourning the death of my father. I’d repeated history and given up on Luke. I knew we could easily start a life here in Casper and be happy.
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