by Maya Banks
“Connor said you haven’t eaten today, Lyric,” Faith said. Her brow creased with concern. “He also said you have a headache. I wanted to ask you what you’d like to eat. Connor wasn’t sure you liked barbecue. Are you a vegetarian? I can make you a salad.”
Lyric threw a puzzled look in Connor’s direction. It was really nice that he’d noticed the fact she hadn’t eaten and that he’d spoken to his sister about her potential likes or dislikes, but where had she gotten the idea that Lyric was a vegetarian?
“No, I’m not a vegetarian. And barbecue is fine. Really.”
“Faith, you dork,” Julie said. “Just because she’s a celebrity doesn’t mean she eats tofu and bean sprouts.”
Faith’s cheeks reddened but guilt flashed in her eyes. Lyric laughed. She couldn’t help it. Of all the assumptions made about her, this was by far the tamest one yet. She wanted to hug Faith.
“You’re very sweet to think of me,” Lyric said sincerely. “But to be honest, I’m a huge carnivore. I don’t eat vegetables. I think I’m still rebelling against my childhood when I was told to eat my veggies or go to bed without eating. More often than not, I snuck crackers and cheese after everyone went to bed.”
Julie grinned. “My kind of woman.”
Faith hooked her arm through Lyric’s and pulled her toward the kitchen. “Then how about a little snack before dinner? Gray just fired up the grill before you and Connor got here, so it’ll be a while yet before the meat is done.”
“Snack?” Lyric asked hopefully. “It’s not carrots or celery sticks, is it?”
Faith’s eyes twinkled and her smile broadened. “No, I made cupcakes.”
Lyric decided she was really a lesbian and immediately plotted to steal Faith away from Gray. She loved anyone who offered her a cupcake.
“I’d love one,” Lyric said with a little too much excitement.
The two women entered the spacious kitchen and Lyric caught her breath. It sounded silly, but this was the first time she’d been in an actual home in a long time. The kitchen was cheerful and warm and it reminded Lyric of long-ago moments with her own mother.
“I have strawberry with cream cheese frosting, or vanilla with chocolate frosting,” Faith said.
Lyric hesitated and stared at the perfectly iced cupcakes on the platter in the center of the island.
“Or you could have one of each,” Faith offered.
“Sold!”
Faith laughed and handed over two of the cupcakes.
Lyric bit into the strawberry cupcake first and sighed. It had been a long time since something so simple as a cupcake made her happy, but at the moment she couldn’t imagine anything better.
“Would you like something for your headache? I have ibuprofen and Tylenol.”
Lyric licked frosting from her lip and shook her head. “Connor took good care of me. He bought some Excedrin.”
“I’m glad,” Faith said softly, “that he’s taking good care of you. Connor . . . He can be difficult.”
Lyric cracked up. She couldn’t help it. Faith gave her a bewildered look and Lyric set the chocolate cupcake down on the island.
“Most people would say I’m the difficult one. You know, spoiled pop star diva? I’m sure it’s all been said more than once.”
Faith frowned. “We women have to stick together. Never admit you’re more trouble than a man even if it’s the truth. It’s better if they get it in their heads early that they are the source of all angst in this world.”
Lyric smudged her finger over the top of the cupcake and sucked the frosting from the tip. “I think you are a very wise woman, Faith. I had you pegged as a total Susie Sunshine, and when I saw your neighborhood I figured you for a Stepford wife. I’m relieved that I was wrong on all counts.”
“Hmmm. Susie Sunshine. That’s a new one. I’ll have to remember it for when Gray starts complaining that I’m mean.”
Lyric grinned.
“I want one of those cupcakes!”
Lyric turned to see Angelina enter the kitchen, her gaze fixed on the cupcake in Lyric’s hand like she was about to attack.
“You can’t have it,” Faith said in exasperation. “Micah would kill me.”
“He doesn’t have to know,” Angelina said pointedly.
“Don’t you give her one,” Faith said when Lyric started to hand a cupcake to Angelina. “She has to watch her blood sugar. She failed her first glucose tolerance test and they want to do a repeat. Until they get the results, she has to watch her sugar intake.”
“Wow, I take back what I said about you being nice,” Lyric said. “That’s pretty ruthless. Withholding sugar from a pregnant woman.”
“I’ll take that,” Julie said as she walked by and lifted the cupcake from Lyric’s hand.
Lyric shot her a dark look. “I’ve killed people for less.”
Julie’s eyebrow shot up. “And you people call me vicious. If she keeps that up, I’ll have to tell Connor to collar her.”
“Only if you want it wrapped around your mouth,” Lyric drawled.
“Did you all desert the guys?” Faith asked as she frowned at Julie.
“Oh, they’re out bonding over charcoal,” Angelina said with a wave of her hand. “You know what happens when you mix men, lighter fluid, a grill and beer.”
“Sit,” Faith directed Angelina. “I swear I don’t know how you stand. You’re all belly. It seems like you’d teeter over.”
Angelina scowled at Faith but hoisted herself up onto a bar stool. Julie took a seat across the bar from Angelina and arched an eyebrow in her direction.
“Okay, so give us the scoop, Angelina. When are you going to put Micah out of his misery?”
Faith shook her head. “It’s like déjà vu. We had this same conversation with Serena before she married Damon.”
Lyric shifted from one foot to the other. As if sensing Lyric’s discomfort, Faith turned to explain.
“Serena is our other best friend and she made Damon wait before she agreed to marry him.”
“Yes, but she waited because she wasn’t sure,” Angelina softly interjected. “That’s not the case here. I’d marry Micah tomorrow, but I have to be sure this is what he wants. I won’t be second best. I won’t have him marry me because he feels it’s the right thing to do.”
Faith moved beside Angelina and wrapped an arm around her. “He loves you, honey. He loves you and Nia so much. You’re all he talks about at work. The guys avoid him because he drives them crazy asking them baby stuff they don’t have a clue about.”
“That’s sweet,” Lyric murmured.
Angelina sighed. “He’s great. Really, he is. He’s been so wonderful with me and the baby. I’m crazy about him and I don’t want to be without him.”
“Then why are you driving yourself crazy?” Faith asked gently.
Angelina chewed on her lip, her dark eyes shadowed by worry. “I have this fear that he’ll wake up one day and think to himself that I’m not the one he wanted. That he’s trapped. That I pressured him into a relationship he didn’t want. You have to admit, I pursued him relentlessly.”
Lyric raised an eyebrow. Her opinion of the other woman just went up by several notches. She liked a woman who knew her mind and didn’t sit around waiting for what she wanted.
“It’s all about taking a chance,” Julie said. “I’ve thought the same thing about Nathan more times than I care to admit. I used to worry that he’d get tired of me and move on. But he convinced me to give him a chance, and really, there aren’t any guarantees. Men do stupid shit all the time. There’s a trigger when they hit middle age that they want dumber, younger and prettier.”
“Oh Jesus, Julie.” Faith groaned. “You’re not helping here.”
Julie shrugged. “Just telling the truth. The point is, you have to take a chance and you have to not only love your guy but you have to trust that he loves you just as much. What else can you do?”
“When you put it like that,” Angelina said ruefully.
>
Faith squeezed Angelina again. “You almost make me want to give you a cupcake.”
Lyric laughed at the disgusted look on Angelina’s face.
“I hope we haven’t bored you, Lyric,” Faith said anxiously. “I’m sure you’re used to a livelier party.”
Lyric held up her hand. “Don’t, please. This is great. Really. It was really nice of you to have me. I know you weren’t expecting us.”
Faith reached over and impulsively squeezed Lyric’s hand. “I’m so glad you came. It’s so interesting to see the woman behind all the gossip and realize you’re nothing like everyone says you are.”
Horror crawled across Faith’s face as soon as the words were out. She clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh, that was stupid. I didn’t mean . . .”
“It’s all right,” Lyric said lightly. “Don’t apologize. Half of what they say is likely true and the other half is probably a variation of the truth.”
Julie’s eyebrows went up. “So you really had an orgy on your tour bus?”
Lyric hadn’t heard that one. “Sure, why not. I’m sure it’s written in the rule book somewhere that all rock stars have at least one on the bus per tour.”
She kept the hurt from her voice and wondered what demon possessed her to perpetuate the rumors. She figured if people were dumb enough to believe that crap, they didn’t deserve the truth. They probably wouldn’t believe it anyway.
“I totally made that up,” Julie said darkly.
Lyric shrugged. “You aren’t the first.”
Faith frowned. “That must be an awful way to live, Lyric. How do you stand it?”
What to say to that? She could leave her life at any time, but it wasn’t like a new life awaited her. Maybe one day she’d figure out what to do beyond her singing career, but the thing was, she loved to sing. She even liked the fame, the hoopla, the fans and the crowds. She wouldn’t apologize for that as many celebrities felt compelled to do. She’d worked damn hard to get to where she was and she wasn’t about to piss it away over false guilt.
“I like it. It pays well,” Lyric cracked.
She hated the sympathy shining in all their eyes. It was like they looked at her and thought, Oh, you poor thing. Whatever. There were millions of people who had it far worse than she did. What were a few rumors and a bad reputation next to starving in some shithole in Mississippi?
The people she grew up with were probably still there, dirt-poor in the same pissant town, married to the same shitty people and raising the same shitty kids.
“Julie, would you go out and ask the menfolk how much longer on the meat? I need to make the salad and bread,” Faith said, breaking the silence.
“I’ll go. I can’t sit in one spot for too long. Makes me crazy,” Angelina muttered. “My back is killing me.”
As soon as Angelina had left the kitchen, Julie leaned forward with a wicked grin and whispered, “I keep telling her she’s really having twins and that they missed one of the babies when they did the sonogram.”
Faith shook her head and laughed. “You are so evil, Julie.”
CHAPTER 7
M ale voices drifted through the screen as Angelina approached the door leading into the backyard. She paused for a moment to rub at her aching back. Micah was so sweet and attentive. If he knew her back was giving her problems, he’d be rubbing it. She was tempted to drop a hint because right now she’d give anything to have his hands soothing away the discomfort.
She was just about to go out when she heard her name. Then she smiled when she heard the guys give Micah a hard time about impending fatherhood. No matter what she may have thought in the beginning, Micah had embraced the idea of being a father with both hands.
He fussed endlessly over her. He went to every doctor’s appointment and drove her crazy with innocuous pregnancy trivia, some of which she was convinced he made up.
She went still when she heard Micah’s determined voice rise above the sounds of the neighborhood and distant lawn mowers.
“I want her to marry me, but I’m at a loss as to how to convince her that I’m not doing it out of obligation. I know she worries that she’s somehow trapping me into a relationship I don’t want, and it’s making me crazy.”
“Maybe you’re putting too much stock into marriage,” Connor said. “Angelina’s a great girl. If she loves you and stays with you, does it really matter if it’s official or not?”
Angelina could visualize Micah’s scowl perfectly.
“It’s not the marriage thing. It’s that she still has doubt. Not that I blame her, but I don’t like to think of her worrying that I’m not dedicated to her and Nia. They’re my life.”
“Maybe you should back off for a while,” Nathan said carefully. “She’s pregnant and vulnerable. From what I hear, their emotions are a mess when they’re pregnant. Maybe she feels pressured.”
Micah sighed. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I’m pissed at myself for not seeing it sooner. I don’t deserve her after the way I acted. I love her, and more than that I don’t want her to ever think I don’t, that she’s not the most important thing in my life.”
“You can’t force trust,” Gray said. “It’ll come. The more she sees that you’re in it for the long haul, the more she’ll trust in the truth of your relationship.”
Angelina lifted trembling fingers to her mouth. Trust? Trust had never been an issue for her with Micah. She trusted him implicitly. There was no way she could cede absolute and total control in their relationship to him if she didn’t trust him.
The idea that she’d hurt him by making him think she didn’t trust him was painful. She loved Micah and it was for him that she’d hesitated in accepting his marriage proposal.
Now she wondered if she wasn’t doing more damage to the future of their relationship by holding back. If he ever doubted her love, it would kill her. It was the one thing she’d always given him unreservedly.
Micah was her future. She knew it without a doubt. She rubbed her hand over her protruding belly. Micah loved her. He loved their daughter. He wanted them to be a family. Micah had always wanted a family. Right now she was the one standing in the way of his happiness.
How stupid and shortsighted she’d been. She didn’t regret not relenting right away. She and Micah had desperately needed time to work out their issues and to find their way amid the tumultuous beginning to their relationship.
But for the last few months, Micah had done and said all the right things. He’d once told her that when she knew without a doubt that he loved her more than life and when she trusted him fully to cherish her gift of love, that was when he wanted her to marry him.
“Oh God,” she whispered. How must her continued resistance look to him? Like she didn’t trust him. That she didn’t believe he loved her.
None of that was true.
Suddenly she wanted to nothing more than to go home and spend the evening in Micah’s arms. His hand on her belly and them talking about Nia and their future. Tears stung her eyes. Micah had said when that day came. It was here and she didn’t want to wait any longer.
“I think Angelina must have gotten lost,” Faith said with a sigh.
“Either that or she made another trip to the bathroom,” Julie said. “Another reason I have no desire to get knocked up in this millennium. I can’t imagine spending that much time in the bathroom.”
Lyric raised her brow. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one with no desire to pop out a kid anytime soon. Or ever.
“I’ll go see what’s keeping her,” Lyric said.
Faith nodded. “Thanks, Lyric. I’m going to start on the salad and pop the bread into the oven.”
Lyric was relieved to escape the kitchen. It wasn’t that she found the other women annoying, but she was ill at ease around the warm friendship between them. Lyric had no experience with closeness. She’d never allowed herself to have that sort of relationship with anyone. Physical, yes. Emotional, no. And she had plenty of business relat
ionships. Nothing that qualified as an actual friendship.
When she entered the living room, she saw Angelina standing near the door to the backyard, a peculiar expression on her face. Both hands were palmed over her belly and she looked like . . . She looked like she was upset over something.
It was tempting to turn back and pretend she hadn’t seen the other woman. Lyric had zero experience with emotional, pregnant women. What did you say to one?
It wouldn’t kill her to be sympathetic. Everyone had been nice to her. Other than Julie’s snottiness—which, she was realizing, was part of the woman’s natural charm—they’d all treated her like she was normal. To her surprise, she liked it. She liked it a lot. Not that she wanted to start leading a normal life, but it was a nice change.
She took a few steps forward and delicately cleared her throat. Angelina’s head whipped up and she didn’t look thrilled that Lyric had found her. That made two of them.
“Are you okay?” Lyric asked gently. “Do you want me to get Micah?”
Angelina’s lips quivered and she inhaled sharply, like she was tightly controlling her emotions. Then she let out a soft laugh, and her lips turned up into a rueful smile.
“Have you ever come to the realization that you’re an idiot and that what you thought was the right thing was completely wrong?”
Lyric snorted. She couldn’t help it. “Honey, you’re talking to the queen of fuckups. If there’s a way to screw something up, I’ve mastered it.”
Angelina cocked her head. “You seem so well put together. I’ve watched you, you know. The few TV specials you’ve had and I saw a recording of one of your concerts. You seem so confident and sexy and smart.”
Lyric blinked. “Wow. Thanks, I think. But wow. You couldn’t be more wrong. Not that I want to go into all the ways you’re wrong, but I’m glad it at least looks like I have my shit together.”
“I’m an idiot,” Angelina said again. “A pregnant, hormonal moron. I’ve spent so much time worrying that Micah would want to walk that it’s a wonder I haven’t made him do just that.”
“Nothing wrong with being sure,” Lyric said with a shrug. “I admire you for that. A lot of women don’t look before they leap.”
