by Greg Herren
—and I opened my eyes and I was back in the forest, and it was night again, it was pitch-black and I felt terror, absolute stark raving terror because I didn’t know how I’d gotten there, and there was something out there in the darkness, and it wanted me, I could feel the hate and cold emanating from it, hatred, it wanted to destroy me and kill me, and I stifled a scream and turned to run back up the path.
But I stumbled, tripping on a root or something, and I let out a half cry as I fell, hitting the ground so hard that the breath was knocked out of me and my head struck something hard and stars danced in front of my eyes and I could hear it over my labored breathing, I couldn’t catch my breath but whatever it was it was coming, it was coming for me and it was cold and evil and it wanted to kill me, and I got to my hands and knees and started scrambling for safety, absolutely terrified it was going to get me, whatever it was wanted me dead, it hated me with an intensity I could feel, and then I could breathe again and I was standing straight up and running, and the tears were running down my face and I was sobbing, sobbing with sadness and fear and terror, absolute terror, and it was going to get me, I wasn’t going to get away…
“Berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-tiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee.”
And I heard the voice, echoing through the trees sadly, that hollow sorrow filling me and surrounding me, and suddenly I could see the yellow light again, and the voice kept calling.
“Berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-tiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee.”
And I stumbled out of the woods and across the lawn, made it up the steps and collapsed, sobbing and breathing hard, on the deck. And the sense of evil wasn’t there anymore, I’d managed to somehow get away from it, and I was safe.
For now.
The keys were still dangling in the deadbolt, and somehow I managed to get the deadbolt turned, and I stumbled inside, slamming the door shut and locking it behind me.
I staggered into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face.
My eyes were wide open and bloodshot, my skin so pale it was almost bluish.
I filled up a glass with cold water and gulped it down.
My hands shaking slightly, I brushed my teeth and washed my face again.
I walked back out into the bedroom.
The dark was out there, outside the windows.
I walked around, pulling down blinds and closing curtains.
I didn’t want to know what was out there, if anything.
I sat down on the bed and covered my face in my hands.
Maybe Rachel was right. Maybe I was losing my mind.
But I was willing to swear on a stack of Bibles that just minutes ago it had been broad daylight in the woods.
What was going on? What was happening to me?
Remembering what Carson had said, I got out my iPad, opened a note, and with trembling fingers started typing out what had just happened to me.
When I was finished, I saved it and closed my tablet, putting it down on the nightstand. I slowly got undressed and got under the covers.
I didn’t turn out the light—I didn’t want to let the dark into the bedroom with me.
I knew it was crazy but didn’t care.
And, somehow, I managed to fall asleep.
Chapter Ten
“Maybe I am losing my mind.” I laughed bitterly. “Anything would be better than this.”
We were all sitting on the porch of the lodge after breakfast the next morning. Somehow I’d managed to get some sleep, even though it seemed like I kept waking up every five minutes. Even when I was asleep, it was that horrible half sleep where I felt like all I had to do was open my eyes and I’d be awake. When I heard my mother moving around in the kitchenette, I’d finally given up and gotten out of bed. I’d had two cups of coffee with her before grabbing my iPad and heading up to the lodge. I’d deliberately taken the shortcut through the woods, just to see if anything would happen.
Nothing did, of course.
I let everyone read my write-up of what I’d experienced last night while we had breakfast, and once we were finished we moved outside to the porch. Our parents had set off for the lake to go kayaking—when asked to join them, we’d all said no because we wanted to go hiking in the woods. That was the cover story Carson had come up with.
The truth was, Carson wanted to go look for the place where Albert’s body had been found over a hundred years earlier. I wasn’t so certain it was a great idea, myself, but I also didn’t want to look like I was a coward—and there would be safety in numbers, I figured.
“I don’t think so,” Carson replied, scratching his chin. “For one thing, people who are losing their minds generally don’t think they are, you know. They think they’re completely sane. And you keep forgetting—we’ve all heard the voice calling. If not for that, yeah, I’d say it was a much greater possibility. And I really don’t think it’s a collective hallucination.” He smiled at me, flipping my iPad closed and handing it back over to me. “I also don’t think there’s a more logical explanation for what’s happening. We’ve pretty much ruled everything out except the supernatural.”
“Besides, if you were actually going crazy, you’d have been experiencing it before you got here,” Rachel went on. “And there wasn’t anything, was there? You weren’t seeing or hearing things at home you haven’t told us about, were you?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Everything at home was normal. The summer was almost ridiculously boring, to be honest. The only thing that changed was—well, you know what changed.” In the distance, I could see our parents on the dock, putting the kayaks into the lake. I sighed and leaned against the rough-hewn railing. “And being gay isn’t a mental illness.”
“No one said it was,” Teresa replied, frowning. “You keep acting like we’re homophobic or something, Scotty. It’s irritating and it’s unfair and it’s not true.” She folded her arms. “We’re not, so get over yourself, okay? And it’s not like that’s going to help us figure out what’s going on with you.”
“Exactly,” Logan chimed in, a scowl on his face. “It’s almost like you’re doing it for attention.”
“What? I’m sorry—that’s not what I meant, really. I was just saying…” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I looked at Logan, who had the decency to blush and look away. Carson was staring at his hands, Rachel was fiddling with her phone, and only Teresa was looking right at me. “Is that what you all think? That I’m doing this for attention?” My head was spinning and the eggs and sausage I’d had for breakfast were churning in my stomach. “Wow. Just wow.”
My eyes filled with tears. Wow, I thought, getting up out of my chair and blindly walking off the porch, heading down the long lawn in the direction of the lake. I heard Teresa call my name but I ignored her. Fuck her, fuck all of them. I didn’t bother trying to stop the tears, letting them run down my face. I am sooooo sorry to have disrupted your vacation with my stupidity and my self-absorption and my problems. Well fuck every last one of you, I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone and I won’t interfere with your precious vacation any more, okay?
I could see the three kayaks making their way out away from the shore as I walked. I felt hurt, angry, betrayed. My phone started buzzing in my pocket as I got closer to the dock. My hands were shaking so hard I almost dropped it when I pulled it out of my shorts pocket. I stopped walking and ran my finger across the screen to unlock it.
And there it was, a text from Marc. Dated last night.
Sorry man dad took our phones things have been crazy lately miss you marc.
I was so relieved I didn’t stop myself from sitting down hard in the grass as my knees buckled. Thank you, God, I thought as I reread the message over and over again. I hadn’t realized until then just how worried about him I’d been.
I wiped at my eyes and took a deep breath.
Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m just being a big old drama queen and all of this was triggered out of my worry about Marc?
But that didn’t
make any sense.
I didn’t want to risk moving and losing the cell signal, so I touched the screen to reply and typed quickly hope everything is okay I miss you be home on Sunday hang in there buddy.
I hated that I couldn’t say that I loved him, that I wanted to kiss him and hug him, tell him how lonely I was without being able to see his face and his adorable smile every day.
But if his father saw it…I didn’t even want to think about what that would trigger in his dad. I looked out at the lake and saw my parents paddling their kayak, perfectly in sync.
I’m so lucky I have the parents I do, I thought. So very, very lucky.
I touched the little send button, and my phone made the whooshing sound that meant the message had been sent.
“Hey, Scotty, I’m sorry,” Teresa said as she sat down next to me. “Logan shouldn’t have said that, and I sure as hell didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Tentatively, she put her arm around my shoulders. “I love you—we all do, Scotty. We’re like family.” She squeezed me, and I put my head down on her shoulder, resisting the urge to just start bawling my head off. “We’re all worried about you, you know. Not because you’re gay, but…” Her voice trailed off for a moment. “There’s so much hatred out there for gays, Scotty. And all this crazy shit that’s been happening ever since we got here…” She swallowed. “My first thought when you told me was…you know, about the bullying and everything…”
“It’s okay, Teresa, I overreacted, I’m kind of all wound up,” I replied, pulling up a few blades of grass and tossing them up in the air. The wind caught them and carried them away. “Logan was just being honest—and I haven’t been. I should have told you guys that Albert looked like Marc. I should have told you guys about the emotions I experienced whenever I was seeing whatever it was Albert wanted me to see. I just was afraid, you know? I was afraid you guys would think I was making it all up.”
“That Albert was gay?” she said quietly. “I kind of figured that out, from when you told us.”
“That’s just it, I don’t know that Albert was gay.” I sighed. “I’m seeing Albert, and you know, when I see him, I have all of these feelings—not just love but the sadness, and then the fear sometimes, too. I don’t know, Teresa.”
“Tell me about Marc,” she said, squeezing me again. “How long have you been seeing him?”
“It’s been about a year—actually, we had our first kiss the night we got back from Sanibel last year.” I grinned. “I’ve had a crush on him since I first met him, but I never dreamed…I never thought I’d be lucky enough to have him like me back, you know?” I looked at my phone and smiled at the message again. “I heard from him finally—he texted me last night, and I just got it. He’s okay.” I sat there for a moment, staring at the message.
“He really does look like Albert—it’s uncanny,” she said, pulling out her phone and fiddling with it for a moment. She used her fingers to expand an image of Albert. She put hers down and took mine, doing the same thing to the picture of Marc until his face filled the screen of my phone. She put the two phones next to each other and smiled at them, satisfied. “It really is uncanny,” she said, turning the phones to me so I could see them. “I took a picture of the article in the case at the historical society yesterday, in case we want to read it again,” she explained.
“That was smart,” I said as I stared at the two phones. The picture of Marc had started to blur a bit as she’d made it larger so she could get a close-up of the face, but it was clear enough. The brown sepia photograph she’d expanded on her own phone was clearer, but the resemblance was uncanny. There were, of course, slight differences—Albert looked rather glum in his photo, so I couldn’t tell if he had dimples like Marc’s, and his lips seemed a little thinner. The hair was different, obviously—Marc wore his cut pretty short—and Marc’s face seemed a little more fleshed out than Albert’s. They could have been twins. “It’s pretty spooky,” I said, unable to take my eyes away from the pictures on the two screens. “Albert looks more like Marc than his own sister does.”
“I wonder…” She cut herself off and took her phone back from me.
“What?”
She shook her head and laughed. “I don’t know—I kind of have a theory, but I don’t know if I want to say anything until I’ve looked some more stuff up.” She looked out at the lake. “I read this book—it was fiction, but the story is kind of similar to what’s going on here. And with the pictures…” She shrugged. “I don’t think I’ll say anything until I know more, you know? There’s more than enough crazy theories floating around.”
“To say the least,” I replied. “I know I shouldn’t have lost it up there, but it’s a bit much. And I don’t mean what Logan said, either. This whole thing.” I bit my lower lip. “It’s a bit much to take to begin with, and everyone’s being cool for the most part, but it would be nice if Carson didn’t keep forgetting that I’m a person, not just some experiment for that stupid TV show.”
“He doesn’t mean anything by it, though. He’s concerned for you, like we all are.” She lightly kissed my cheek. “We’re all scared, Scotty, and it’s not really happening to us. I can’t imagine how scared you must be.”
I smiled at her. “I love you, Teresa.”
“We’ll get this all figured out.” She laughed. “And even if we don’t—we’re only going to be here until the weekend. I’m pretty sure Albert’s ghost can’t follow you back to Chicago.”
I laughed and looked down at the lake. I could hardly see the kayaks—they were almost to the far side of Lake Thirteen. “I sure hope not,” I replied. “I don’t want to share Marc with anyone.”
We both laughed, and I closed my eyes and thought back, trying to remember all the times I’d seen Albert—swinging the ax, swimming in the stream farther down the mountain, the emotions I’d felt.
“And for the record, Logan was way out of line,” she said gently. “There’s no way you could have fixed things so that there would be these pictures of Albert looking like Marc’s twin, or like he could be Marc’s brother. Logan was being a dickhead, and when we get back up to the lodge I’m sure he’ll apologize.” She patted my leg. “And don’t you think they’re all going to freak out just a little bit when they see how much Albert and Marc look alike?” She stood up and brushed off the back of her shorts. She smiled at me as I stood up and hooked her arm through mine. “So, tell me more about Marc.”
As we walked up the slanted lawn back to the porch, I told her everything—about how Marc and I first met, how we became friends, when I first realized I was attracted to him, how our first kiss came about.
“His dad sounds awful,” she commented as we went up the three steps to the porch.
“You have no idea,” I said, rolling my eyes “Hey, everybody.” I gave them a feeble smile. “Sorry I got so mad. I know you’re all trying to help and—”
“Dude, I’m sorry,” Logan said quickly. He grabbed my hand and shook it, hard, before pulling me into a hug. “I—”
“Don’t worry about it.” I cut him off, extricating myself from his bear hug. Logan had no idea how strong he was, really—he’d been squeezing me so hard I could barely breathe.
“Guys, check this out.” Teresa put her hand out for my phone, and I handed it to her. I wandered inside while she showed them the two pictures, getting a Coke out of the cooler. When I walked back out, Rachel was holding both phones, staring at them in disbelief.
“I’m beginning to think there’s more to this than just a haunting,” Carson mused. “The resemblance is really amazing. I wonder…” his voice trailed off.
“What?” Rachel demanded.
“I wonder if we found a picture of Robert Shelby—surely we’ll be able to find one…” He got up and walked over to the railing. “Does anyone—would anyone rather drive into town than go out in the woods? I’m thinking we can accomplish more if we split up.”
“I’ll go into town,” Rachel said quickly. She made a face. “I g
ot eaten up by mosquitoes the last time, I’m not looking forward to that happening again. And, you know, snakes.” She shuddered.
“I’ll go with her,” Teresa said. “I’m not big on snakes, either. I’m sure there’s something you want us to look for in town. Maybe a picture of Robert Shelby?”
“I want you to go to the library and look up all the articles about the murder,” Carson directed. “I especially want to see if you can find any pictures of him—let’s hope we get lucky and there are some. But having your picture taken back then wasn’t as commonplace as it is today—not everyone had cameras back then. But also see what else you can find out—if they ever found Shelby, anything you can about the Tyler family.”
“All right. Miss Tyler said the library had an archive of the newspaper, which is probably the only record we’ll be able to find. I’ll see if they have a copy of that book about the murder, too,” Teresa said, and Logan handed her the car keys. She looked at Rachel. “You ready?”
Rachel got up with a nod. “Yeah. You guys be careful, okay? Don’t do anything stupid.” The two of them disappeared around the side of the lodge. A few moments later, there was the sound of a car’s engine starting, and then we saw the SUV heading down the road in the direction of town.
“I talked to Annie about how to find the creek,” Logan said. He still seemed a little subdued, so I smiled at him. “She said the easiest thing to do is find Beaver Pond, and it’s on the far side.” He swallowed. “And you find Beaver Pond by following the trail past the wrecked cabin. She said there are signs farther along the path, the deeper you get into the woods.” He pulled a compass out of his pocket. “And she gave me this, just in case we get lost.”
