“I’ll order that pizza. You can have two slices,” Elodie said, shifting Madison’s legs to move out from under them.
“I’ll have to trip more often, then,” Madison joked.
“No, you won’t.” Elodie pointed at Madison as she stood, and Madison laughed.
◆◆◆
After salad and pizza, Elodie was full and exhausted. She hadn’t slept all that well the night before. Madison had left after the movie, and Elodie had tried to sleep, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Madison’s legs in her lap and how she had been unable to keep her hands off them. She had wanted to slide those hands up further to her thighs, her stomach, and her breasts. She hadn’t, but she had wanted to. Sleep took a long time to come because Elodie couldn’t stop thinking about coming, herself, at Madison’s touch or making Madison come at her own. When she’d woken up, she had planned to take her coffee outside and get in a few shots of her own before Madison joined her for practice. Then, she’d seen her coming out of the woods in pain, and her plans changed.
“Want to watch something that doesn’t relate to archery? I don’t know that I want to watch any more of this if you’re not going to let me go outside and shoot.”
“It’s dark.”
“You have lights.”
“Not enough for your clumsy ass to avoid tripping over yourself,” Elodie replied.
Madison laughed and sat up. She extended her legs out to the coffee table, resting her bad ankle on a small pillow. Then, she patted her own lap.
“Come on. Lie down, and we’ll watch something.”
Elodie looked at Madison, considering the offer.
“What are we watching?”
“Whatever you want,” Madison said.
Elodie thought for a minute. Then, she stood up. She went to the TV stand, pulled out a DVD, and slid it into the player she hardly ever used now that everything was streaming. Then, she sat back down. Instead of remaining sitting up, though, she grabbed the remote, changed the input on the TV to the DVD player, and lay down with her feet in Madison’s lap.
“What is it?” Madison asked.
“I’m going to walk you through my last competition.”
“The Olympic final?” Madison asked, placing her hands on Elodie’s calves.
“I know you’ve seen it.”
“A million times.” Madison looked over at her and gave her a soft, understanding expression.
“Not with me commentating on what I did, when, and why.”
“That’s true.” Madison looked at the TV as the menu came up on the screen. “Have you watched this since?”
“No. The DVD arrived in the mail after Rod died. I never watched it,” she answered. Then, she pressed the button to start. “But I’m going to watch it with you. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay,” Madison said, rubbing Elodie’s leg.
Elodie saw the bleachers and the crowd applauding first. Then, the camera panned to her competitor from South Korea as she walked toward their line with her coach. Elodie’s heart raced because she knew what would happen next. She saw herself: years younger and with a smile on her face, walking with Rod at her side. Elodie recalled his voice and the joke he’d told her right before they’d walked out. He had always been so good at putting her at ease with humor right before a big final.
“Are you okay?” Madison asked, looking at her and not the TV.
“Not really, no,” Elodie replied as tears welled in her eyes.
“We don’t have to watch this, El,” Madison said.
“No, it’s okay. I need to. I should,” she said, wiping a rogue tear off of her cheek.
Madison moved then. Elodie turned her gaze to her to see what she was doing.
“Roll onto your side,” Madison told her.
“What? Why?”
“Come on. Please.”
Elodie rolled toward the TV. Madison slid behind her and wrapped her arm around Elodie’s middle.
“Just watch it. You don’t have to worry about trying to coach me. Just watch what you did that day; how good you are.”
The words were whispered into Elodie’s ear just as her South Korean competitor lined up the first shot of the first set on the screen. Elodie watched her fire a nine. She remembered it like it was yesterday. She remembered how nervous she felt right up until Ji Woo Ko hit only a nine. Elodie watched her expression on the TV change, and she remembered that exact moment. She hadn’t been nervous anymore. Elodie took her spot, listened to Rod give her instructions from his own spot behind her, and then fired. It was the first of fifteen tens Elodie fired that day – an Olympic and world record. No one had ever scored all tens in an Olympic final, with nine of those fifteen on the inner ten ring. Elodie felt Madison’s hand rubbing her stomach, and she closed her eyes, letting her tears fall in earnest now.
“I miss him,” Elodie said.
“Tell me,” Madison replied softly.
“He found me when I had nothing; no one else.”
Madison’s hand slid under Elodie’s shirt and rested on her skin.
“Keep going, El,” she requested.
“I was on my own. I’d lost everyone. I had no family, no real friends. Rod saw me shooting one day, and then suddenly, I had a purpose. He was like a father to me. No, he wasn’t like my father. He was my father.” She wiped a few more tears off her cheek. “He introduced me to the academy, to Marshall, and to a whole family of people who loved the sport as much as I did. When I came out to him, he told me he didn’t care, and that he wanted me to be happy. When I got dumped for the first time, he was there to let me cry on his shoulder. He was there for every loss, every win, and everything in between. He didn’t have a family, either. He called me his daughter. He was the last family I had, and then he was gone.”
“I’m sorry, babe,” Madison said, kissing the back of Elodie’s neck and rubbing her stomach slowly. “I’m so sorry.”
Elodie wanted to stop, to just enjoy this. Madison had just kissed the back of her neck. Madison’s hand was gentle and warm on her stomach, and she wanted more. Elodie wanted more, but she couldn’t right now; and she shouldn’t at all.
“He was driving when it happened. I was in the car with him,” Elodie said.
“I didn’t know that.”
“He had a heart attack, and it was sudden. It wasn’t like how it is on TV where they grab their arm. He just bent over the wheel. The car veered off the road so fast, I didn’t even realize what had happened. I woke up later in the hospital.”
“El…” Madison kissed that same spot again.
“He was already gone. I didn’t even know it was a heart attack until later. I had lost consciousness, but other than some cuts and bruises, I was fine.”
“Thank God.” Madison squeezed Elodie’s middle.
“We were on the way to a tournament he didn’t want me to compete in. He thought it was beneath me. It was a local thing and wasn’t worth much. I just wanted to compete. I wanted to show off. I wanted to be the person people whispered about when I arrived. I wanted them to say, ‘There goes the gold medalist,’ and then I wanted to beat everyone there. He didn’t even want to be there, and I made him go because I wanted to show off.”
“That’s why you didn’t pick up a bow again,” Madison said.
“Until recently,” Elodie replied, placing her hand over Madison’s on her stomach.
Elodie wasn’t actually watching the TV anymore. Her eyes were a bit blurry from the tears, and her mind, heart, and libido were elsewhere entirely now. Madison was so close. Elodie could feel her breath on her neck. Madison’s hand was on her skin, just inches below her breasts. Elodie wanted to move Madison’s hand there. She wanted it to cover a breast, squeeze it, and play with a nipple before she slid it down between her legs and played with something else.
“Can I confess something?” Madison asked.
“Sure,” Elodie replied.
“I love watching you shoot,” she stated. “The other day, on
the field, practicing in the backyard, and even now, watching it on the screen – I love it. I love the face you make when you’re staring down the target.” Madison placed her hand on Elodie’s hip. “The way you lower your bow in one fluid motion.” She rubbed the hip bone with her thumb. “The way you look when you hit the ten spot… It’s like you knew it would happen all along. You never doubted yourself.” Madison leaned in a little closer. “It’s a turn-on, El. It’s a major turn-on for me, and I don’t know what to do with that.”
“We should stop,” Elodie said, but made no attempt to stop Madison’s now roaming hand.
“But this feels good,” Madison replied. “I haven’t felt good in a long time.”
“Neither have I,” she breathed out.
“Do you feel good now?” Madison’s hand stopped just under Elodie’s bra.
“I feel confused,” she said. “Conflicted.”
“Because of the age difference?” Madison guessed.
“Because we were just talking about my old coach, and how his loss affected me… And you were touching me the whole time, and it was hard not to just give in to that because it does feel good.” Elodie turned her head slightly to Madison. “And because I’m your coach.”
“Do you want me to go?” Madison asked.
“I thought you were staying,” Elodie replied, rolling to face her entirely, forcing Madison’s hand around to her back.
“Not if you’re sleeping on the couch.”
“Madison, I–”
Madison leaned in, hovering her lips over Elodie’s, and said, “I know this is a bad idea. I just can’t stop wanting it.”
“Is that why you went out on your own this morning?”
“I kept thinking about how good it feels just being with you.” She rubbed Elodie’s back. “It feels good holding your hand, having my head on your shoulder, and having my legs in your lap while we watch something.”
“Have you been with anyone since Wiley?” Elodie asked.
Madison pulled her face back a bit and said, “No. Not like that.”
Elodie placed her hand on Madison’s cheek, rubbing her thumb over the freckles she found there, and said, “I don’t know that I can be that person for you. I’m still so messed up, Maddie.”
“We both are,” Madison replied, giving her a half-smile. “But, I don’t know… I feel like you’ve been making me better.” She placed her hand on the small of Elodie’s back. “Do you maybe feel even a little bit the same way about me?”
CHAPTER 19
Madison waited hopefully for Elodie’s answer. She had taken a risk, a major one, when she had moved to lie behind the woman. She hadn’t been able to stop herself from touching her. Their bodies being pressed together like this just felt so good. Madison kissed Elodie’s forehead. Then, she kissed Elodie’s nose and one of her cheeks. Madison had to do something because waiting even a few seconds for Elodie’s response was pure torture.
“Yes,” Elodie said through a gasp.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” Madison said, leaning forward again.
“Don’t,” Elodie replied, moving back. Then, she stood up abruptly and added, “We can’t, Maddie. If you want me to be your coach, we can’t do this. If we do, there’s no going back.”
“I don’t want to go back.” Madison sat up on the sofa. “I’m tired of looking back. I want to look forward.”
“So do I. I want you to look forward to the Olympics; to your goal.”
“I’m not talking about archery right now.”
“I know, but you should be. I’m here. I’m back in the game. I’m coaching you, so you’ll be the best. That’s what you wanted.”
“Maybe I’ve changed my mind.” Madison stood. “Maybe–”
“No,” Elodie said, holding out her hand palm-up, facing Madison. “We can’t.”
“El, you feel it, too. I know you do. I can feel it. I can see it. God, everyone can see it.”
“We should stop here.”
“We haven’t even started yet,” Madison replied.
“I know. That’s why we should stop.”
“Fine.” Madison practically growled. “Do you know how hard it was to tell you how I felt just now? To go for something like that? The only person I’ve ever loved died, Elodie. I’ve kissed two other women in my life. Neither of them were what I wanted. You’re what I want. You’re who I want, and it’s so hard to say that out loud because I feel like I’m giving in to something that I shouldn’t be giving into. Wiles wanted me to be happy. I know that, but even knowing that, doesn’t make this any easier. I’m trying here. I know it’s complicated, and you’re my coach. I know you’re older and have this whole life here, while I’m still trying to figure mine out, but I still put myself out there, and it’s hard.” Madison felt the tears welling up, and she sniffled to try to push them back. “I’m going now. I need to try to wrap my head around all this.”
“You can still stay here. I’m worried about your ankle,” Elodie said.
“My ankle is fine. My heart’s not.” Madison walked toward the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow for practice.”
Madison left, slamming the door behind her. How had she let it go that far? She never should have touched Elodie like that. She shouldn’t have said anything. She should have just pushed her feelings down and made it to the damn Olympics. She could worry about falling in love later, if at all. When she opened the door to the office, she went into the bedroom and changed her clothes. She threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Then, she climbed into her car and drove to Doyle’s.
She didn’t care about Elodie’s no drinking rule tonight, and she knew if she just stayed in that bedroom alone, she wouldn’t be able to think of anything other than the woman in the house next door.
“Can I get–” Madison stopped herself when she realized she was about to ask for a rum and Coke she didn’t really want. “Just a beer,” she told the bartender. “Whatever you have on tap is fine.”
She placed some cash on the bar and took the beer when the bartender passed it to her. Wiley had been too young to drink when she died. They both had been, but they’d snuck drinks from their family liquor cabinets, which weren’t often very full. Wiley loved rum and Coke, so that’s usually what they snuck because Madison never cared all that much. Tonight, though, she did care. She wanted her own damn drink to drown her sorrows. She sat at an empty table, took a long drink, and stared around the room.
There were four men playing pool. One of them was clearly a bear. The other three, she wasn’t sure how she’d describe them. Two of them were making out, so she couldn’t see much beyond the fact that they, at least, clearly enjoyed kissing each other. The last one was more twink than anything else. He was laughing at whatever the bear had said a moment earlier. Madison turned her head to see a group of about six women. They had pushed two tables together to fit their group. They had two pitchers of beer on the table and were wearing what looked like dirty softball uniforms. Madison rolled her eyes and took another drink. When one of the women at the table met her eye, a second after she put her beer down, Madison tried to look away. She hadn’t meant to make eye contact. She had only come for one drink and to get out of that house.
“Hey,” the woman said as she approached, holding her own half-finished beer. “Can I get you another one?”
“I’m good, but thanks,” Madison replied, trying to be polite.
“You’re here all alone,” the woman said, sitting down despite not having been invited.
“I just stopped by for a minute. I’m about to head out,” Madison said.
“I haven’t seen you around, have I? I’m Bree.”
“Nice to meet you, Bree.” Madison finished her beer quickly. “I’m going to leave you to your party.”
“It’s just an after-game ritual.”
“Softball?”
“Yeah.” Bree smiled. “We play in a summer league. It’s just for fun. We don’t take it too seriously. The drinking started
during the game,” she added. “We won tonight.”
“Congrats,” she replied, standing up to try and give Bree the hint.
“We play twice a week at the sports park. You should stop by sometime.”
“Have a good night, Bree.”
“Wait. What’s your name?” she asked.
“Madison,” she answered.
“That’s pretty.”
“Thanks. Have a good night.”
“I’ll be thinking about you, Madison,” Bree said with a smile that wasn’t cocky, but just looked kind of sweet.
“Have a good night,” Madison repeated.
Every time she went to this damn bar, things had a way of not going as planned. She would likely never return for that very reason. She wasn’t feeling the beer yet and knew it wouldn’t be enough to make her too tipsy to drive the few minutes back to the office, but she also didn’t want to go back there. She had wanted at least an hour outside of the house. There weren’t too many other places to go in this one-road town if Madison didn’t intend to drink more, which she didn’t. Instead, she got in the car and drove toward The Archery Academy. When she arrived, she noticed the lights on over the field where she had practiced that first day there. She didn’t think they would be working this late, but she also wasn’t entirely sure, so she parked and decided to check it out.
She walked gingerly on her ankle, recognizing there was still a small amount of pain there, but not wanting to relent and go home to try to sleep off everything that was going wrong in her life right now. When she got to the tree line that separated the lot from the field, she noticed one woman; a woman she recognized.
“For fuck’s sake,” she muttered to herself. “I cannot escape her.”
Madison watched, hidden by the trees and the darkness, as Elodie fired one arrow after another, likely hitting all tens, but it was difficult to know for sure from where she was standing.
“God, she’s so good,” she whispered when Elodie let another arrow fly.
She leaned against a tree, crossing her arms over her chest, and just watched her shoot, recover the arrows, and then shoot some more until the paper target had been demolished. Then, Elodie moved to the next target, demolishing the inner rings of that one as well. Madison couldn’t take her eyes off the woman. She was God’s gift to archery. Elodie hadn’t shot an arrow in years, yet she could win every single medal she wanted right now with only a few days of practice under her belt. There was a second where Madison wondered if her feelings for Elodie were more because she wanted to be her, not be with her. That feeling passed when she watched Elodie turn to walk back with her arrows in hand, and the light caught her perfect face.
A Shot at Gold Page 13
